The Funny Pages - Tickle Me Elbow - The Original

[mushroom]

Lessee if I got this straight; change the chicken, water dead bird scattered over the livingroom, buy more cat food water, chase the neighbors dog dishes, laundry sweeping cat, hair everywhere--who threw up?; rug wash the shower, oh hell, just buy new weeds, recycling the cats... :lol:

[Jestgar]

:lol:

Definitely need new weeds. Mine don't seem to be working as well as one would hope.

[flourgirl]

Lessee if I got this straight; change the chicken, water dead bird scattered over the livingroom, buy more cat food water, chase the neighbors dog dishes, laundry sweeping cat, hair everywhere--who threw up?; rug wash the shower, oh hell, just buy new weeds, recycling the cats... :lol:

x 100!!! Thanx

[Jestgar]

Max still isn't eating. Poor boy weighs almost nothing. And Lyle has a bad toof or sump'n. Was awake half the night waiting for Lyle to come home so's I could trap him inside for a few days until I can get him to the vet. Started him on antibiotics on Sat (which will get me yelled at by the vet, 'cause they weren't for him) but I had to do something to help him until he can get an appointment. Never seen him in so much pain, but the abx are finally helping. Not sure how I became the designated cat care co-op.

[ranger]

Jillian- Welcome. I'm new too. Unlike celiac, the spelling never gets better.

Jess- I hope your animals get better. Nothing worse than sick kids or pets. So helpless.

My burning questioin is for Suzie. You say you live in a gaited community. Do you have a lot of gluten ataxia there? Lots of periphial neuropathy? Do you have an inordinate number of alcoholics (known to have problems with thier gait)? Are normal-gaited friends and loved ones allowed in? And, lastly but mostly and bestly, do the people who make the rules of configuation up realize that if you prohibited bycycles, You would have known that this boy was a normal gaited ruffian, would not have been allowed access, and saved you all that pain and suffragetting And ,BTW, are most of you're speeding tickets issued to people on scooters and motorized wheelchairs? Question from one who has never been wealthy enough to live in a gaited comm.

Sleezianna

[psawyer]

Where have all the psillies gone? Over eight daylight hours wifout a post?

[flourgirl]

Holy Quacomoly Pieter!!! Really been deserted here today! Rushed home from work just to get on here for a giggle or two....but nada. Really easy to catch up for once. Hope everyone is having a shiny day!

So sorry to hear about the babes...Jess. Sending healthy, hairy thoughts your way.

Psuessles gay-ted commune! <:snarkface:> I be back later.

[flourgirl]

Fergot to say welcome to Jilly one (chilly one?). Hope you manage to find some chuckles here....and possibly some friendship too!

[DingoGirl]

So, in case any of you missed it last night because I'm sure even people in Turkey could hear it, I'm reporting one giant phaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaart.

I'M NEVER EATING BEANS AGAIN!

Feel free to slap me cilli if I ever eat chilli again. TMI?

:lol: I get in trouble 'round here fer eatin' beans too (and have ALSO avowed I'd never eat them again. Because, it always turns into a giant pot o' chili and becomes BEAN WEEK. Very bad.

Might be able to poop in from Turkey...dunno

read this as "might be able to poop in Turkey" <gawd, I hope so - was six weeks in Italy one summer and only pooped nine times - ouch >

. . . and we all know that I've got all yer boobs!!!

dammit Jan-it, GIVE THEM BACK!!

When we sold our house in Sonoma (after only 20 years, not 30), I pulled a cute one, not intentionally but that's the way it worked out. Got the house all ready and then left for a High School reunion in New Zealand for three weeks the day after the house went on the market. All I got to see was the realtors' tour. Clay used to keep the bathroom clean by showering at the gym, mostly ate out or phrozen phood, and I had a housekeeper come in two times a week to make sure he was keeping de place up. By the time I got back it was sold, and I had only five weeks to: organize NZ immigrant visa for Clay, book airline tickets; arrange for movers and shipment of tatt to NZ; have garage sale; clean out all the stuff we had put in storage while house was being sold, sell/dispose of three vehicles (sold one, donated the one with 300,000 miles to charity, the truck lost its clutch on the last trip to the refuse disposal center and was given to the guy who responded to the service call, with the proviso that he had to dispose of refuse.) T'was pretty hectic, but when we put the house on the market we told the realtor we was leaving November 15 (this was at beginning of October) and so we did!

This is quite mad! Sounds very teedious, glad you made it!! <love the glam and magical stories of Shroomie's life>

Janet, are you planning to hold all of our boobies hostage? I was kind of fond of mine (as was my hubby haha) and would like them back... name your price!

I never had any to begin with. I AM BUYING SOME, I SWEAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

No, the limbozine is reserved to take us to Soozle's friend Peggles' house in February where we can all luxuriate and have our every whim catered to. Eminem is on a Canadian island somewhere but will be back soon; Knickers is vacationingholidaying in Turkey because they don't use Euros there, Amanda is long weekending or weeking, one or t'other, Joodee is so busy trying to move to Temecula we hardly hear from her any more, even though she's quit smoking and needs somethin' to do with her hands; we all went to Viagra Phalls at some point in time...lessee, that about covers it.

excellent Shroom

And I don't like wire hangers, either.

Sleesin

gawd no!

I wanna know who in H decided life should be so much work?

Feed the cats clean the litterbox feed the chickens clean the coop change the chicken water dead bird scattered over the livingroom feed the cats go buy more cat food water the plants where is Lyle chase the neighbors dog dishes laundry sweeping cat hair everywhere who threw up on the rug wash the shower curtain oh hell just buy a new one weeds leaves recycling feed the cats

GAAHHHH!!!!!!

Lessee if I got this straight; change the chicken, water dead bird scattered over the livingroom, buy more cat food water, chase the neighbors dog dishes, laundry sweeping cat, hair everywhere--who threw up?; rug wash the shower, oh hell, just buy new weeds, recycling the cats...

:lol: x 500 - extremely entertaining

My burning questioin is for Suzie. You say you live in a gaited community. Do you have a lot of gluten ataxia there? Lots of periphial neuropathy? Do you have an inordinate number of alcoholics (known to have problems with thier gait)? Are normal-gaited friends and loved ones allowed in? And, lastly but mostly and bestly, do the people who make the rules of configuation up realize that if you prohibited bycycles, You would have known that this boy was a normal gaited ruffian, would not have been allowed access, and saved you all that pain and suffragetting And ,BTW, are most of you're speeding tickets issued to people on scooters and motorized wheelchairs? Question from one who has never been wealthy enough to live in a gaited comm.

Sleezianna

Sleezy - I"m not wealthy enough either. I'm basically a squatter. Wish to hell I didn't live out here, so far from me phriends, who are on t'other side of town. But, I'm grateful to be here, and it's not nearly as posh as you might think. Very common out here, in all parts of Clovis and Fresno. Nuts. Never, never NEVER thought I'd be in one. I like room, and land, and lots of trees......but it's quite and - safe? here

SILLS!!!!!!!!!!!!! Nik's in Turkey, and I see Emmel a-squigglin - -

EMMEL! how did it go??

good monday aft to all sills

[elye]

Where have all the psillies gone? Over eight daylight hours wifout a post?

Okay, Okay! This is about to be remedied......I AM BACK.

WHAT A WEEKEND! And. . . . . . . .. . . ....... . . . . .. ........

WE GOT A TREE!!!!!!!!!!

'Tis a long, meandering story, but suffice it to say that my sister, brother and I, at 4 pm Saturday (memorial the next day, noon to four) suddenly got together, downtown Toronto, my brother clutching a scrawled name on a piece of paper - - a garden centre and nursery he had found not too far out of the downtown core...... . we just knew that we HAD TO get our tree from the Psillies to plant at this gathering of dear loved ones. We couldn't obviously use the Ottawa gift certificate, but I knew we had to buy it there, on Saturday, and since there is no expiry on the certificate, I can use it later for things in seasons to come. So, I had the Psilly money wif me, on me Visa.........

Well, this place was very small, and closing down. Everything was half-price, and it looked like only plants and flowers. I asked the man if he had any trees, and he led us over to a corner of the property where there were two little saplings. A lilac and a sumac - - neither one felt right. We stood and deliberated, looking them over, when my brother suddenly said, "hey........look over here".........and he reached behind a cluster of cedar-type hedges and pulled out a big tree that suddenly spoke to all of us. I turned the ID card around, and read "weeping fruitless mulberry".

PERFECT. OMG.

We immediately decided that our dad must have played a character during his time on television with this name - - Weeping Fruitless Mulberry - - and we could all quite easily picture what he would have looked like.

I have one of these spectacular, ornamental trees on our front lawn - - my dad commented on it whenever he was here during the summer, and we know he loved weepers and willows. Just incredible.....this tall, quiet tree, sitting in the back, barely visible, and we find it. Now, it is what I call a Charlie Brown Tree - - all it needs is a little love. The leaves have been somewhat manhandled, and it is very sparse -- not enough sunlight. So a wonderful rags-to-riches it will be!!

We planted it right near the ball diamond, along an extension of the fair ball line, as Dad was the reigning untouchable pitcher there for many years. During my speech I explained to everyone who you all were, and how we came to get this lovely little mulberry tree. Everyone was so touched. And my mom, my sibs and I pushed in the four fertilizer spikes after it was put into the hole, laughing and singing. It was tremendous, and many pics will be emailed to me, so, stay tuned.. .. . . . . .

And I ate and drank unbelievably.

Must go back and catch up.......welcome Jihleeanne! Please stay and be phunnee with us. This was a rather staid, information-laden post -- very uncharacteristic 'round these parts, trust me .. ........

[jerseyangel]

Oh Em--it all sounds perfect! <sniff> A Weeping Fruitless Mulberry--kinda rolls nicely off the tongue (you may want to say it whilst looking into the mirror when you get a chance ) and it's no accident that it was there, hiding in Toronto, until you could find it for yer dad.

Love it!!!! Looking forward to the pics.

[Jestgar]

Oh Em--it all sounds perfect! <sniff> A Weeping Fruitless Mulberry--kinda rolls nicely off the tongue (you may want to say it whilst looking into the mirror when you get a chance ) and it's no accident that it was there, hiding in Toronto, until you could find it for yer dad.

Love it!!!! Looking forward to the pics.

yep. What she said.

[mushroom]

That does sound poifect, Em; a weeping mulberry. I wonder if that is what I had outside my sitting room. Clay kept cutting it back and I kept letting it grow because it drooped so gracefully and was trying to touch de ground; 'xcept it wanted it come in our windows too, so had to be restrained, but considering its growth habits now wonder if it wasn't just a plain, ornery old mulberry, but a weeping one. T'was a great tree to provide summer shade from the 105 degree heat, and then dropped all it's leaves all at once at the end of summer to let in the winter sun.

[Darn210]

Em . . . so happy that you found a tree for your dad . . . and happy to have you back.

I am willing to barter some boobage for a new back . . . mine has gone out again!!!! without me!!!! . . . probably in part to the excessive boobalies.

[flourgirl]

Ahhhh Em No Lie.....the tree sounds just wonderful, sitting there waiting for someones like your family to claim it and give it love. Makes me pheel a bit weepy myselph! So glad we could be a part of it all wif you

I never had any bloobers either....can't miss what I never had Just as happy without them.. I can just (almost) imagine them being in the way all of the time. I've always been too physically active to accumulate phatty tisshue! I do have a friend who uses hers like a shelf....just amazing! How can one do anything with all of that in front?

[elye]

Well, my boobs are considerably smaller than when I was twenty - - also considerably lower. This reminds me of an amusing tale that my mom told us whilst we were away. She has always had huge boobs, and at five-foot-two, it has often appeared quite side-show-like.

She recently bought a high-tech abdominal workout machine, where you sit on a seat, put your hands over your head and grab cables, then stretch yer legs out in front. The machine tips you backwards, so that your feet are way up in the air and your head is balanced close to the floor. You must try and lift yourself up so you are parallel to the ground, using your abs. Well, the first time Mom got on this thang, she tilted back, and her huge boobs came crashing onto her windpipe, then her chin and mouth. She was likely smothering to death -- could not even scream.......fortunately, my dad wandered into the room and managed to push her upright.

Dear gawd......to have such problems. . . . . . . ....

We were commenting on how this scenario would certainly be on the list of The Five Most Humiliating Positions To Be Discovered After Sudden Death.

[Jestgar]

I never had any bloobers either....can't miss what I never had Just as happy without them.. I can just (almost) imagine them being in the way all of the time. I've always been too physically active to accumulate phatty tisshue! I do have a friend who uses hers like a shelf....just amazing! How can one do anything with all of that in front?

You can store pencils, extra kleenex, a dictionary, you can find the rest of your lunch for a mid-day snack, thaw frozen reagents, smuggle stuff onto airplanes, the uses of excess cleavage are endless.

Unless you are featured on "When Body Parts Attack"...

[elye]

You can store pencils, extra kleenex, a dictionary, you can find the rest of your lunch for a mid-day snack, thaw frozen reagents, smuggle stuff onto airplanes, the uses of excess cleavage are endless.

Y'know those ads posted on milk cartons? I am certain that me mom has been stopped on the street and searched for those kids..........

[Jestgar]

Y'know those ads posted on milk cartons? I am certain that me mom has been stopped on the street and searched for those kids..........

Do the neighbors frisk her for lost pets?

[DingoGirl]

EMMEL"S BACK!!!!!

and yer tree discovery and find *sniff* yer dad had it hidden away and planned, I am sure......makes me all weepy and tingly!!!!! what a beautiful ceremony that must have been.

We were commenting on how this scenario would certainly be on the list of The Five Most Humiliating Positions To Be Discovered After Sudden Death.

gahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

You can store pencils, extra kleenex, a dictionary, you can find the rest of your lunch for a mid-day snack, thaw frozen reagents, smuggle stuff onto airplanes, the uses of excess cleavage are endless.

Unless you are featured on "When Body Parts Attack"...

OMG

Do the neighbors frisk her for lost pets?

no, silly, they frisk her wookie

sills - watching marathon stupid shows and reading a Vanity Fair mag....I need to get a life......

[mushroom]

She recently bought a high-tech abdominal workout machine, where you sit on a seat, put your hands over your head and grab cables, then stretch yer legs out in front. The machine tips you backwards, so that your feet are way up in the air and your head is balanced close to the floor.

i just might be able to sleep like that???

[elye]

Goooood morning, gang!

All right, we have exhausted the subject of trans-vaginal ultra-sounds here. I have another proceedure, equally invasive but likely not as undignified, to bring up and on which to get feedback: the infamous bone scan.

Who's had one? This will likely be happening here -- my foot is not improving to my satisfaction (um, haven't been resting it enough, it would seem ), so I believe this is the next step.

Crap, don't like this idea -- radioactive material coursing through me, attaching to me bones?? Hell. . . . . ......

i just might be able to sleep like that???

Well, if ya got breasts like me mom, you just might be able to not only sleep, but drift into unconsciousness.... . . . . .....

[flourgirl]

I don't think the bone scan is anything to worry about. "They" do all of the work...so no sweat for you Hope all shows up as healing well. "resting" is a lot harder to do than one would think!!!

I once lost a coin collection......do you think it may have turned up in your mamma's boobs? Just askin'

[ranger]

The weeping tree is a beautiful and phait-filled story.

I'm wandering- if you exercized one boob, would you end up with one all perky and grinning and one just floppin around yer knees? At least, no one would steel them.....right JANET! (want mine back)

Always wondering away with my mizzing thaught presses. Oh, ya. That thing about lugging all that stuff in front of you. It would be phorin to me. Sort of like trying to imagine being a man with all that stuff between your legs.

Body parts, body parts.

[flourgirl]

The weeping tree is a beautiful and phait-filled story.

I'm wandering- if you exercized one boob, would you end up with one all perky and grinning and one just floppin around yer knees? At least, no one would steel them.....right JANET! (want mine back)

Always wondering away with my mizzing thaught presses. Oh, ya. That thing about lugging all that stuff in front of you. It would be phorin to me. Sort of like trying to imagine being a man with all that stuff between your legs.

Body parts, body parts.

Can't imagine THAT either!!!! Especially having parts with minds of their own....is it like having a permanent companion? Suppose it is for some.

<:snrrxxxxface:> Oh! The conversations we have! Like we'd NEVER have at the dinner table with my conservative family. Just love it all!