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The Funny Pages - Tickle Me Elbow - The Original

TriticusToxicum

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kareng Grand Master
kareng
Posted

Apparently from keeping everything all bottled up inside him :P Hee!

Snort! :P

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nikki-uk Enthusiast
nikki-uk
Posted

PSILLS!! This one's gonna run & run - yooz know that dont yer? :lol:

''See, last night I decided to stick a vinegar bottle into my anus and it sorta got stuck....."

....am I the only one wondering if it contained Barley Malt?? :unsure::blink::lol:

conniebky Collaborator
conniebky
Posted

:huh:

Perhaps he was creating a small home puppet-show, with a fabricated marionette that he could move about...... ..... .

:lol:

OMG! LMAO! what a visual! :D

jerseyangel Proficient
jerseyangel
Posted

PSILLS!! This one's gonna run & run - yooz know that dont yer? :lol:

....am I the only one wondering if it contained Barley Malt?? :unsure::blink::lol:

Per'aps due to his age he was attempting to pheel phull of piss and vinegar??? B)

kareng Grand Master
kareng
Posted

PSILLS!! This one's gonna run & run - yooz know that dont yer? :lol:

....am I the only one wondering if it contained Barley Malt?? :unsure::blink::lol:

Probably. That explains it then.

Not sure the excuse for the string guy who forgot the string. Brain fog?

jerseyangel Proficient
jerseyangel
Posted

In other news....I'm making some hot rice "cereal" wif some leftover rice and yacking on the computer at the same time. A spoonphul of starchy milk just phlipped over in the pan sending it's contents all over the back of the stove.... <_<

kareng Grand Master
kareng
Posted

In other news....I'm making some hot rice "cereal" wif some leftover rice and yacking on the computer at the same time. A spoonphul of starchy milk just phlipped over in the pan sending it's contents all over the back of the stove.... <_<

At least it didn't get the computer.

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jerseyangel Proficient
jerseyangel
Posted

At least it didn't get the computer.

True dat!

elye Community Regular
elye
Posted

Perhaps the String-On-The-Penis Man was employing that old trick of tying string around one's finger to remember something very important, and was using his penis because.. . . .well. . . . ....because. ... ...he would notice it more?.. . ..:unsure:. . . . ... ..:lol:

Very phunny that he forgot he had tied the string there.. .. .. . ...I suppose he should have tied a string around one of his fingers, the good old-fashioned way, to help him remember that he had a string tied to his penis.

See? Women can solve everything. . . . . . ..

:lol:

nikki-uk Enthusiast
nikki-uk
Posted

Very phunny that he forgot he had tied the string there.. .. .. . ...I suppose he should have tied a string around one of his fingers, the good old-fashioned way, to help him remember that he had a string tied to his penis.

...but what if he phorgot why he had string tied round his finger?? (much less his penis :unsure: )

...Perhaps a placard around his neck? :lol:

kareng Grand Master
kareng
Posted

...but what if he phorgot why he had string tied round his finger?? (much less his penis :unsure: )

...Perhaps a placard around his neck? :lol:

Even more perplexing...his girl friend forgot about it too. Days later when it was, well I think you can imagine, neither of them remembered. It wasn't obvious any longer because of the....um...infection.

elye Community Regular
elye
Posted

Even more perplexing...his girl friend forgot about it too. Days later when it was, well I think you can imagine, neither of them remembered. It wasn't obvious any longer because of the....um...infection.

Holy crap... . .. ....these characters sound like a veritable waste of skin. I'm thinkin' placard, as well.... . . .

:lol:

elye Community Regular
elye
Posted

Just had an amusing piece of speculative film going through me head... . ... .imagine if these two individuals were sitting beside one another in the emergency ward?

"Hey. . . ......what you in fer?"

"Hell, I got a bottle o' vinegar stuck up me arse. You?"

"Agh.. . . ..my penis is red, swollen, sore... . ...... .. I vaguely remember tying a string around it -- y'know, just fer fun - - and I think the damned thing's gotten infected!"

:lol:

jerseyangel Proficient
jerseyangel
Posted

Just had an amusing piece of speculative film going through me head... . ... .imagine if these two individuals were sitting beside one another in the emergency ward?

"Hey. . . ......what you in fer?"

"Hell, I got a bottle o' vinegar stuck up me arse. You?"

"Agh.. . . ..my penis is red, swollen, sore... . ...... .. I vaguely remember tying a string around it -- y'know, just fer fun - - and I think the damned thing's gotten infected!"

:lol:

:lol: :lol: :lol:

JNBunnie1 Community Regular
JNBunnie1
Posted

:lol: :lol: :lol:

You know what freaks me out about this story? Is that the guy was at the doctors office for some OTHER procedure and almost FORGOT to mention the BOTTLE IN HIS ANUS. I'm sorry, but that seems like a higher priority to me than say, an EEG, or getting a mole removed?

Can some one plus me? I feel so unplussed.... :(

jerseyangel Proficient
jerseyangel
Posted

Can some one plus me? I feel so unplussed.... :(

You got it, Bun :D

And yeah--like the guy laid there through an EKG or a Echo and never thought to say anything? How uncomfortable it must have been to drive/ride to the hospital in the phirst place. So many questions.....

JNBunnie1 Community Regular
JNBunnie1
Posted

You got it, Bun :D

And yeah--like the guy laid there through an EKG or a Echo and never thought to say anything? How uncomfortable it must have been to drive/ride to the hospital in the phirst place. So many questions.....

:wub:

kareng Grand Master
kareng
Posted

Holy crap... . .. ....these characters sound like a veritable waste of skin. I'm thinkin' placard, as well.... . . .

:lol:

I have always hoped they didn't make any babies. :)

Jestgar Rising Star
Jestgar
Posted

I just plussed myself into excellence. :ph34r: :ph34r:

JNBunnie1 Community Regular
JNBunnie1
Posted

I just plussed myself into excellence. :ph34r: :ph34r:

I just plussed the whole page!

elye Community Regular
elye
Posted

I just plussed myself into excellence. :ph34r: :ph34r:

In all seriousness, what exactly is the plus button there for? Do we hit it when it is at the bottom of an excellent post? Life-altering, sage advice? Uplifting, poignant musings? Gads, no wonder I've been at zero forever. . . . ..... :rolleyes::lol:

I believe that the PLUS button should automatically activate when the word "penis" is typed.

Watch the scores ratchet up 'round here!!

jerseyangel Proficient
jerseyangel
Posted

In all seriousness, what exactly is the plus button there for?

Dunno--one of the great mysteries of the board. I would think it's a way of grading posts, so to speak.

I never paid much attention to it until we started talking about it.

celiac-mommy Collaborator
celiac-mommy
Posted

I missed a lot today! I know a guy who's penis was getting really irritated, then swollen, inflammed and extremely painful and they couldn't figure out why. When he finally went to the dr they found a long piece of his wife's hair that had gotten wrapped around the shaft. It was almost impossible to see!!

Dh has a client who almost died last year while having sex. Got a little too rough-one slip and he broke his penis. When this happens, that massively engorged blood vessel pops sending blood flying ALL over the room. Most men don't survive this. Thank god his girlfriend was quick to call 911.....

I knew my bff would have a great story to rival mine since she's an ER charge nurse and sure enough, they had a guy recently with a vibrator stuck up there-TURNED ON! Of course everyone had to come in and listen to his heart, cuz you could hear it with the stethascope! He ended up going to surgery because everytime she thought she had a hold of it, it kept vibrating his way up the chute!

Btw, that vinegar bottle was about 6"!!!

kareng Grand Master
kareng
Posted

Yum! Glutino lemon wafers! (rapturous sigh).

Back to reality... I have seen some websites where you rate the posts positive or negative. I think this is just one of the features the web designer used on this site to bulk up his bill - along with the status bit. We rarely need to rate anyone negatively on this site. We usually take care of that in it other ways...

jerseyangel Proficient
jerseyangel
Posted

Yum! Glutino lemon wafers! (rapturous sigh).

I love those--and the chocolate ones too!

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    • knitty kitty
      My only proof

      By knitty kitty · Posted

      You're right, doctors usually only test Vitamin D and B12.  Both are really important, but they're not good indicators of deficiencies in the other B vitamins.  Our bodies are able to store Vitamin B12 and Vitamin D in the liver for up to a year or longer.  The other B vitamins can only be stored for much shorter periods of time.  Pyridoxine B 6 can be stored for several months, but the others only a month or two at the longest.  Thiamine stores can be depleted in as little as three days.  There's no correlation between B12 levels and the other B vitamins' levels.  Blood tests can't measure the amount of vitamins stored inside cells where they are used.  There's disagreement as to what optimal vitamin levels are.  The Recommended Daily Allowance is based on the minimum daily amount needed to prevent disease set back in the forties when people ate a totally different diet and gruesome experiments were done on people.  Folate  requirements had to be updated in the nineties after spina bifida increased and synthetic folic acid was mandated to be added to grain products.  Vitamin D requirements have been updated only in the past few years.   Doctors aren't required to take as many hours of nutritional education as in the past.  They're educated in learning institutions funded by pharmaceutical corporations.  Natural substances like vitamins can't be patented, so there's more money to be made prescribing pharmaceuticals than vitamins.   Also, look into the Autoimmune Protocol Diet, developed by Dr. Sarah Ballantyne, a Celiac herself.  Her book The Paleo Approach has been most helpful to me.  You're very welcome.  I'm glad I can help you around some stumbling blocks while on this journey.    Keep me posted on your progress!  Best wishes! P.S.  interesting reading: Thiamine, gastrointestinal beriberi and acetylcholine signaling https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC12014454/
    • NanceK
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    • knitty kitty
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    • trents
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      Wheat in cow feed would not equal gluten in the milk, @Wheatwacked, please back up extraordinary claims like this with some scientific backing, as I've never heard that cow's milk could contain gluten due to what the cow eats.
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