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The Funny Pages - Tickle Me Elbow - The Original

TriticusToxicum

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VydorScope Proficient
VydorScope
Posted

In another forum (a writers forum) one of our regular members is about to have her first baby, so I sent her:

and

To help her get ready. :D :D

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JNBunnie1 Community Regular
JNBunnie1
Posted

I love Bill!

Brain damage!

elye Community Regular
elye
Posted

Bill Cosby NEVER gets old! :lol:

I know, it says so right on the package I get from Trader Joe's!

mebbe only us NOO ENGLANDAHS say/eat haricots verts. :lol:

Hey, that's what we say Canucks say up here, French being our second language.....I'm surprised you Yanks are calling green beans this, and not judias verdes... . . ....

B)

Jestgar Rising Star
Jestgar
Posted

So this week I'm volunteering at a fund raiser auction and rummage sale. I dunno if there is anything like this in your area, but it's an amazing experience, kind of like an island-wide garage sale. For six days they take in donations - clothes, furniture, luggage, art, jewelry, antiques, doors, windows, sinks, tools, kayaks, motor boats, cars... This gets spread over 6 acres, both inside, and outside the middle school. The gym is filled with books and the playing field is covered in bikes. Cars and boats in one parking lot, tents of furniture in the other. Rooms filled with computers, musical instruments, dishes....

For a week 100's of volunteers sort, clean, polish, fold, and price 150 tons of donated goods - around 12,000 volunteer hours. Trash is sorted and recycled. Maybe-not-quite-yet-trash (broken pottery for art projects, lidless plastic storage ware, torn and stained blankets and sheets) is put on the "Lawn of Opportunity", The LOO, for whatever use anyone can put it to. (Crappy bedding, for example, goes to the Wildlife shelter where they use it for cage liners, cleaning animals, etc).

Friday night there's a 3 hour preview for a donation of $1. People wander through to find what has a price, and what will be auctioned (big things are auctioned). They choose their treasures and map out a plan.

Saturday morning, at 5 am, people start lining up. Enterprising youngsters sell coffee and treats along the street. The gates open at 8 am and a mad rush of bodies comes racing in. Small children at full speed launch themselves onto couches and chairs to claim them, bigger kids wrap themselves around cameras and TVs. Mom runs to the jewelry, and Dad comes in slowly with a look of shock on his face. Once purchased, the kids stay to guard the big stuff (lest someone "accidentally" take the paid-for furniture thinking it was theirs) and the parents head back to get the truck.

People without small sentinels sometimes buy a big piece of luggage to cart their treasures back to the car, or, for a dollar, you can put your purchases in the 'Treasure Trove' where it will be guarded until you can get back with your vehicle. It takes hours to get your car to the school to get your stuff so most people try their best to carry it out. I've had people grab my truck and offer to pay me $20 just to help them get their big purchases back to their vehicle (I did it for free), and I have grabbed people with a truck and asked for the same help.

For six hours the school grounds are a seething mass of people. When the first rush is over, most departments announce half-price on all remaining items. Each department decides when, so you have to listen if you're waiting for a particular type of item. Some departments eventually go to buck-a-bag prices at the very end. This is a great way for people to get baby clothes, for example.

At 2 pm, all sales close. The non-profits come in and go through everything left. Anything they want is theirs. Once they have gone, the school is "closed" and everything left is destined for the landfill. Lots of people that wouldn't pay for that beat up sofa for their basement will happily "steal" it. Anything that's kept out of the landfill for another couple years is a good thing. Finally, Bainbridge Disposal comes through with their trucks and by Sunday, mid day, everything is cleared away, and it's like nuthin' ever happened.

Last year they raised more than $300,000.

jerseyangel Proficient
jerseyangel
Posted

Wow Jess--what a great event to have and be a part of! :)

Have phun!!

elye Community Regular
elye
Posted

Wow, Jyesssss -- someone should be rolling a film camera on location at this event......it sounds like a MUCH more captivating reality show than any of those currently on TV.... :D

kareng Grand Master
kareng
Posted

Love it! Sounds like stuff is moving around the island to a new home. :D

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Jestgar Rising Star
Jestgar
Posted

someone's doing a documentary

JNBunnie1 Community Regular
JNBunnie1
Posted

Love it! Sounds like stuff is moving around the island to a new home. :D

I LOVE secondhand stuff. Not only do jeans fit my big butt better when someone else has broken them in, but someone in China didnt have to slave over a new pair. And where else could I get Levi's for 4$?

Since the fire I think I've bought exactly six 'brand-new' articles of clothing (excepting socks n undies). Five of which were on clearance... :lol: :lol: :lol:

Anyone have thrift store obsession?

curlyfries Contributor
curlyfries
Posted

Absolutely amazing, Jess! You have a lot of generous people there :-)

BTW....I want that stained glass window!!!

Bun.....don't get to thrift stores much because garage sales a more fun and often have better prices :D

JNBunnie1 Community Regular
JNBunnie1
Posted

Absolutely amazing, Jess! You have a lot of generous people there :-)

BTW....I want that stained glass window!!!

Bun.....don't get to thrift stores much because garage sales a more fun and often have better prices :D

Yeah, but for clothes, people don't usually like to let you use their potty to try stuff on to see if it fits your big fat white butt.....

elye Community Regular
elye
Posted

Anyone have thrift store obsession?

OMG. .. . ..you have no idea... . . ....the staff at all of our local Sally Annes and Value Villages know my name and offer me a coffee when I stroll in and head for a cart...

I bring in a bag of stuff, they empty it, and I fill it with "new stuff' ......Quite the factory, I is... . . ... :rolleyes:

kareng Grand Master
kareng
Posted

Our neighborhood garage salws are more of an exchange. Somethings I got from some neighbors a few years ago, now going to other neighbors.

Fascinating to see what was donated. Like a bunch of toliets. Probably even more fascinating to see what sells.

Darn210 Enthusiast
Darn210
Posted

Hey . . . if you see any good trumpets or french horns let me know. Personally, I wouldn't know myself just by looking at them . . . but maybe you would.

I would so love to be there.

Jestgar Rising Star
Jestgar
Posted

I am exhausted. Theatre until 10 last night, up early to be at the auction before 7. Six hours of wrapping dishes and taking money with a quick shopping break. (Got a breadmaker for $15!) The Pirate snagged me a new chair for the computer so I can put my dining room chair back.

A couple hours of rest, then back to the theatre.

Jestgar Rising Star
Jestgar
Posted

Oh, and we also bought a live trap, which is now holding a raccoon, which I have to deal with somehow. Bah.

Marilyn R Community Regular
Marilyn R
Posted

Yeah, but for clothes, people don't usually like to let you use their potty to try stuff on to see if it fits your big fat white butt.....

Yup. I'm a soul sista ! Have a serious addiction.

Jestgar Rising Star
Jestgar
Posted
600x450px-LL-94dde260_lydenburg-warning-sign.webp
IrishHeart Veteran
IrishHeart
Posted

Hey, we have the same sign on our road.........

IrishHeart Veteran
IrishHeart
Posted

Oh, and we also bought a live trap, which is now holding a raccoon, which I have to deal with somehow. Bah.

Yikes, be careful! Hubs has wrangled with those suckers.

Grouchy things.

jerseyangel Proficient
jerseyangel
Posted

Oh, and we also bought a live trap, which is now holding a raccoon, which I have to deal with somehow. Bah.

You've had quite the weekend already!! :lol:

kareng Grand Master
kareng
Posted

Love the sign! Every college Frat Row should have one.

Matt worked at a summer camp that put hot dogs and PB on big pretzel sticks in cages at night to see what they would catch. Kept getting the same raccoon every night ( he had a chunk out of his ear so they could tell it was him). After the first few times that he got himself accidentally caught, he started to leave quietly when they opened the cage. He learned he could get a good meal and no one hurt him. The counselors started feeding him stuff in the cage in the mornings before they let him loose.

Raccoons are smart. They are good at training young humans! :D

Jestgar Rising Star
Jestgar
Posted

You've had quite the weekend already!! :lol:

Well now. Called the Pirate to ask him to come and take care of Ricky. We have no .... disposal method, so transport and release was the only option. I was on my way to get gas, not wanting to run out of gas with an illegally transported, pi$$ed off raccoon in my truck when, yes, I ran out of gas (sans Ricky). I managed to get within a half mile of the gas station, so the Pirate walked up the hill from his boat, stopped at the gas station, borrowed their emergency can, and brought me some gas. Then we went back to the house, put Ricky in the back of the truck (I tried to give him a hot dog, but he left it on the floor of his cage), and drove out to the sticks. If you have never been within a foot of a raccoon, they stink. a lot.

Came home, the Pirate hosed off the cage, and we had sammiches for lunch. I have just enough time for a shower, then I head for the theater. Last show, strike the set, then grab the Pirate and head for the cast party. I'm hoping there's wine.

Oscar Apprentice
Oscar
Posted

I'm hoping there's wine.

Well, was there? In adequate quantity? Inquiring minds want to know.

jerseyangel Proficient
jerseyangel
Posted

Yeah Jess-- what happened next?

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