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The Funny Pages - Tickle Me Elbow - The Original


TriticusToxicum

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elye Community Regular
amazing drummer

:lol: Heelarryus.... . ....just sent it to me bro, who is a drummer....methinks a somewhat better-looking drummer than this one, depending on what he's been doing the night before. . . . . ...


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DingoGirl Enthusiast
Wow, this is quietest I've ever seen it here?!

Must be nice weather and a holiday weekend.

Nik, a holiday just por vous!!

Sounds like everyone had very nice weather--yeah! We did, too. Couldn't ask for better, but I do have to work tomorrow--earlier than normal

Suze's party was an almost bust? Too bad Suze, sorry it wasn't great. May all your charitable hoedowns be grand affairs.

Patty, glad the weather is closer to normal for y'all.

Uh, Judy???? Has anybody seen poor Judy lately? I'm askeert she hasn't been out of the dungeon in a while.

Emily, hope your dad is feeling better.

Neroli--get your butt contiguous, lady!

Jess, how's motherhood treating you? Have they asked to borrow the car yet? Careful--they might cluck it up. I always heard chicks can't drive :lol:

Gotta go to sleep. My contacts are so dry they are self ejecting.

---***********NIK IS 40 TOMORROW***********-----

loved this whole post, Mimms.

Was worried about Judith also, JUDITH!!!!!!!!!!! she did such a quick poop-in, maybe she's still in the dungeon?

☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

HAPPY BIRFDAY NIKERLER!!!!!

☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺

♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫

DITTOED and COPIED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :lol: :lol:

<spectackular, Leesargh!!! now GET TO BED young lady!!!! :angry:

This is SPECTACULAR!!!!!, thanks Leese ♥ ♥ ♥...but WHAT ungodly hour is it in Indy...and I'm NOT happy you're doing STUFF!!!!!

Didn't get up 'til 11.30am (HA! lazy phat slug! :lol: )...... got some lovely gifts (perfume, a 'Pineapple' t-shirt for Svenning, A DOZEN RED ROSES, money

Judyin Philly Enthusiast

Thanks for caring about me guys

I'm ok just re cooping from the yard sale on Sat

Sunday still getting rid of stuff that neighbors and garden club wanted

Today trying to vaccum the drawers/counter that have been done in the kitchen

now to tackel the front porch for the painter who is to come tomorrow FINALLY........BUT HEAVY RAIN PREDICTED TILL FRIDAY.

my house is just turned upside down with no where to put anything.

so sorry i can't comment on any others 'stuff'

JUST trying to stay afloat.

Not a rest day for me.

DingoGirl Enthusiast
Thanks for caring about me guys

I'm ok just re cooping from the yard sale on Sat

Sunday still getting rid of stuff that neighbors and garden club wanted

Today trying to vaccum the drawers/counter that have been done in the kitchen

now to tackel the front porch for the painter who is to come tomorrow FINALLY........BUT HEAVY RAIN PREDICTED TILL FRIDAY.

my house is just turned upside down with no where to put anything.

so sorry i can't comment on any others 'stuff'

JUST trying to stay afloat.

Not a rest day for me.

awwwwwww hang in there Judith :wub: and don't worry 'bout us. Just take care of yourself - get some rest!!

here's something wonderful for Memorial Day:

Open Original Shared Link

nikki-uk Enthusiast

:wub::wub: me sills!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Many thanks you guys

<on second glass of red wine & no dinner yet :ph34r:;) >

Went out for a drive to the country today - another beautiful day :D ......also got some more plants for me hanging baskets in a local nursery (WHY can we never drive past any establishment that sells plants??? :blink: )

amazing drummer

Tractorial excellence!!!! :lol:

but yes, what in hell is a pineapple shirt? :huh:

Have you guys never heard of Pineapple dance studios???

Open Original Shared Link

- what kind of perfume, please :lol:

Well,...my friend got me Paul Smith 'Roses'...which seems quite light and agreeable :D , but am hoping to buy coco chanel wiv me money ;), or maybe Issey Miyake :unsure: .....

SOOZE, take thy anti-histamines!!!!

I get hayfever seasonal allergies too, I've found the trick is to KEEP taking the anti-histamines EVEN when you feel ok....when you're bad, top up with eye drops & nasal spray ;)

SHROOMIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Loved yer whole, exotic, magical post!!!!! always so informative and wildly interesting. Wye Valley? :huh: must look that up........

Yeah!, me too!!!....it's in the UK somewhere :blink: .

my house is just turned upside down with no where to put anything.

JOODEE!!!

My house is always like this!! :lol:

Thinking of all me scillies that are down (but never OUT!)

:D

<OMG!! I really am grown up now!!! :o:lol: >

mimommy Contributor
it's off to the couch for me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! finishing Benjamin Button - LOVED it - -

later sills!!!! :)

Benjamin Button is a GREAT movie :) Scott and I really enjoyed it. We were actually dismayed to realize how much time had passed while we we were inside the theatre. It was so good we didn;t notice how long it was :D

Nik, my hubby says it's the "perfect movie for a forty year old to see".

<OMG!! I really am grown up now!!! :o:lol: >

Nahhhhh!!!!!! :lol::lol::lol:

Sounds like you had a marvelous day--so happy for you :D

I apologize for any typos here, but will not attempt to fix them. I'm on hubby's laptop and HATE it!!!

elye Community Regular
here's something wonderful for Memorial Day:

Open Original Shared Link

That's a wonderful link, Soooozle.

War is just so.. . . . ......dumb.

Well,...my friend got me Paul Smith 'Roses'...which seems quite light and agreeable :D , but am hoping to buy coco chanel wiv me money ;) , or maybe Issey Miyake :unsure: .....

Nik is FORTY and smellin' like ROSES.. . . . . ..! :lol:

SOOZE, take thy anti-histamines!!!!

I get hayfever seasonal allergies too, I've found the trick is to KEEP taking the anti-histamines EVEN when you feel ok....when you're bad, top up with eye dropsa & nasal spray ;)

OMG....this reminds me of something that has nothing whatsoever to do with allergies!! Been meaning to tell you all about an incredible trick for a big, painful, deep plantars wart, should anyone be unlucky enough to grow one. DH has had one on his foot for months. None of the commercial products did a thing, and he was about to go in for the weekly burning treatments at the clinic. Well, I read some time ago about the incredible healing properties of clove oil, particularly for warts. I bought some, and DH put a drop on his wart, covered it with a band-aid, and repeated the next day. That night, the entire wart, root and all, came out. In two days. Very disgusting, I should say - -a huge hole has been left in his foot. :blink:

'Tis a scary magic, methinks.

I am tempted to put a drop on the next zit I get on my face .. .........but it may make my entire head disappear.

:huh:

:lol:


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jerseyangel Proficient
I am tempted to put a drop on the next zit I get on my face .. .........but it may make my entire head disappear.

:lol: :lol:

Clove oil, huh? Have to remember that.

DingoGirl Enthusiast
me sills!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Many thanks you guys

<on second glass of red wine & no dinner yet :ph34r:;) >

that's my girl!!!!!!! :lol: x 15

and you are NOT a grownup, please. We don't gots no grownups on this thread :lol: :lol:

Well,...my friend got me Paul Smith 'Roses'...which seems quite light and agreeable , but am hoping to buy coco chanel wiv me money , or maybe Issey Miyake : .....

Oh! am always excited to talk fragrance!!!! :lol: I DO love the Coco on other people.... (almost NOTHING smells good on me <_< ).....NICOLA!!!!!!! yer can git them all on ebay!!!!!!!

Don't know the Paul Smith.........and - which Issey? I must know!!!!!!!!!!!

Benjamin Button is a GREAT movie :) Scott and I really enjoyed it. We were actually dismayed to realize how much time had passed while we we were inside the theatre. It was so good we didn;t notice how long it was

Nik, my hubby says it's the "perfect movie for a forty year old to see".

Finished it, absolutely LOVED it. very magical. F. Scott Fitzgerald short story, I believe ? It has catapulted into one of me fave movies now. Um - very slow for the first hour - one must stick with it.

OMG....this reminds me of something that has nothing whatsoever to do with allergies!! Been meaning to tell you all about an incredible trick for a big, painful, deep plantars wart, should anyone be unlucky enough to grow one. DH has had one on his foot for months. None of the commercial products did a thing, and he was about to go in for the weekly burning treatments at the clinic. Well, I read some time ago about the incredible healing properties of clove oil, particularly for warts. I bought some, and DH put a drop on his wart, covered it with a band-aid, and repeated the next day. That night, the entire wart, root and all, came out. In two days. Very disgusting, I should say - -a huge hole has been left in his foot. :blink:

'Tis a scary magic, methinks.

:o

I woz just gonna ask you if I could put it on zits!!!!!!! :lol:

or maybe........chin hairs? wrinkles? what?

SILLS!!!!!!!!! I am off to a riperian feast candlelight supper poolside barbecue :lol:

(references from Mrs. Bucket for Nicola)

see ya later, me lovelies!!!!!!!! :)

Jestgar Rising Star

Gads. Can't believe the weekend is already over. They need to come up with some way of earning a living that doesn't require any actual work.

Ah well. A cheery mornin' to y'all anyhoo.

elye Community Regular

Good morning, Gang!

Wonder if we will hear from our resident wine-swilling forty year-old today... .. . :lol:

It would be early afternoon in the UK now - - methinks she should be up.

Oh, Niiiiiiiiikerlerrrrrrr.. . .. . . . . ........ . . . ..

I've been considering this: Would clove oil not be the perfect, unique birthday gift for just about anyone? It could be dabbed on anything that one wants rid of - - rolls around the stomach, collection notices. . . . .....into the eyes of the persistent salesman ringing at the door .. . . . . .....

:lol:

Soooozle! Spray some at that devil cat! Wrap up a bottle for the Hispanic Gardener, and he just may disappear forever... . . . . . . ....

nikki-uk Enthusiast
Ah well. A cheery mornin' to y'all anyhoo.

Morning Jess luv ;)

Good morning, Gang!

Wonder if we will hear from our resident wine-swilling forty year-old today... .. . :lol:

It would be early afternoon in the UK now - - methinks she should be up.

Oh, Niiiiiiiiikerlerrrrrrr.. . .. . . . . ........ . . . ..

:lol: A modicum of hangoverness . .... had an early start at 7.00am, now't a couple of painkillers couldn't take care of ;)

MYGAAWD!!!

The magical clove oil :o

Must try this on Alzey's verruca plantar wart <is that what you call 'em??>

He's had it for a YEAR (bad mummy, no pain though :lol: )

Mummy's coming over....t'is her birthday tomorrow (72yrs? :unsure: )....... alas, I drunk ALL the wine :ph34r:

Darn210 Enthusiast

Hi all. I'm back but terribly behind . . . in all aspects of my life. Will try to be on here and there, but it will take a while. We are suppose to be going to Florida on Saturday for a week (family trip) . . . not sure how I'm gonna pull that one off, but the tickets were purchased two months ago.

Thanks for all of your well-wishes.

Happy Birfday (a little late) Nickerler.

nikki-uk Enthusiast
- which Issey? I must know!!!!!!!!!!!

The standard I think?? :unsure: ...NOT the summer editions (too light, still nice though)

Probably Eau de Toilette <_< (KA - CHing on the perfum!!! :o )...must see what's on Ebay

The 'roses' is turning out to be a sickly (BAH! :angry:)

SILLS!!!!!!!!! I am off to a riperian feast candlelight supper poolside barbecue :lol:

(references from Mrs. Bucket for Nicola)

I do so love a poolside riperian feast!!! :lol:

HI GYIAN-KNIT!! :D

mimommy Contributor
Good morning, Gang!

Wonder if we will hear from our resident wine-swilling forty year-old today... .. . :lol:

It would be early afternoon in the UK now - - methinks she should be up.

Oh, Niiiiiiiiikerlerrrrrrr.. . .. . . . . ........ . . . ..

I've been considering this: Would clove oil not be the perfect, unique birthday gift for just about anyone? It could be dabbed on anything that one wants rid of - - rolls around the stomach, collection notices. . . . .....into the eyes of the persistent salesman ringing at the door .. . . . . .....

:lol:

Soooozle! Spray some at that devil cat! Wrap up a bottle for the Hispanic Gardener, and he just may disappear forever... . . . . . . ....

Crackin' up over Em's post :lol::lol::lol:

Clove oil, the multi-purpose essential :lol:

Hi all. I'm back but terribly behind . . . in all aspects of my life. Will try to be on here and there, but it will take a while. We are suppose to be going to Florida on Saturday for a week (family trip) . . . not sure how I'm gonna pull that one off, but the tickets were purchased two months ago.

Thanks for all of your well-wishes.

Happy Birfday (a little late) Nickerler.

Where are you headed to in Florida? Heard there was some flooding, but can't remember which region.

Oh Sils. Got me man to join da book. :)

elye Community Regular

Jyaghnutt! :):) Great to read you! Thinking of you guys. . . . ...

MYGAAWD!!!

The magical clove oil :o

Yes, it just sounds so. . . . ....... . primitively black-arts magical.. ...... .to be administered by those with cloven hooves er sumphin'... . .. . . .. .

Perhaps it COMES from cloven hooves?? :huh:

:rolleyes:

Nik, yes! Try it on Alzy's verruca! (This is a crazy word - - sounds much like a Latin dance) :lol:

Just put a drop on first thing in the am, then put on a band-aid and repeat at night.

Took two days for us. . . ....scary. :unsure:

....t'is her birthday tomorrow (72yrs? :unsure: )....... alas, I drunk ALL the wine

Mygawd.....speaking of all the wine being gone. .. ....I have deeply distressing news for both POeter and I. Our provincial seller of alcohol, the LCBO, is....wait for it.......

Going on strike.

:o

:o:o:o

This is such an enormous development in my life. . . .....

I can barely comment.

Oh Sils. Got me man to join da book. :)

OMG.

Canna imagine my DH on Da Book.

"What in hell? You're sending me pictures of Susan Boyle and some guy's writing on my good, clean wall. . . ..... ..gad, words that sound dirty comin' in. . ....... .WHAT'S IT ALL ABOUT??"

:lol:

nikki-uk Enthusiast
Hi all. I'm back but terribly behind . . . in all aspects of my life. Will try to be on here and there, but it will take a while. We are suppose to be going to Florida on Saturday for a week (family trip) . . . not sure how I'm gonna pull that one off, but the tickets were purchased two months ago.

Thanks for all of your well-wishes.

Happy Birfday (a little late) Nickerler.

Thanks J :D

Maybe the getaway will do y'all good??

Oh Sils. Got me man to join da book. :)

Does he want to be our friends???? :lol:

*snort*

<mainly women of a certain age ;) >

jerseyangel Proficient

On the first day, she sadly packed her belongings into boxes, crates and

suitcases.

On the second day, she had the movers come and collect her things.

On the third day, she sat down for the last time at their beautiful

dining room table, by candle-light; she put on some soft background music, and

feasted on a pound of shrimp, a jar of caviar, and a bottle of spring

water.

When she'd finished, she went into each and every room and deposited a

few half-eaten shrimps dipped in caviar into the hollow center of the curtain

rods. She then cleaned up the kitchen and left.

On the fourth day, the husband came back with his new girlfriend, and at

first all was bliss. Then, slowly, the house began to smell.

They tried everything; cleaning, mopping, and airing-out the place. Vents

were checked for dead rodents, and carpets were steam cleaned. Air

fresheners were hung everywhere. Exterminators were brought in to set off gas

canisters, during which time the two had to move out for a few days, and in

the end they even paid to replace the expensive wool carpeting. Nothing

worked!

People stopped coming over to visit. Repairmen refused to work in the

house. The maid quit.

Finally, they couldn't take the stench any longer, and decided they had to

move, but a month later - even though they'd cut their price in half,

they couldn't find a buyer for such a stinky house.

Word got out, and eventually even the local realtors refused to return

their calls.

Finally unable to wait any longer for a purchaser, they had to borrow a

huge sum of money from the bank to purchase a new place.

Then the ex-wife called the man and asked how things were going. He told

her the saga of the rotting house. She listened politely and said that she

missed her old home terribly and would be willing to reduce her divorce

settlement in exchange for having the house.

Knowing she could have no idea how bad the smell really was, he agreed on

a price that was only 1/10th of what the house had been worth ... but only

if she would sign the papers that very day.

She agreed, and within two hours his lawyers delivered the completed

paperwork.

A week later the man and his girlfriend stood smiling as they watched the

moving company pack everything to take to their new home.

... And to spite the ex-wife, they even took the curtain rods!

I LOVE A HAPPY ENDING, DON'T YOU?

:P

nikki-uk Enthusiast

:lol: PadT!!!!

Hell hath no fury.......

Our Sooze last night :

Open Original Shared Link

flourgirl Apprentice

Hi ever-body! So very nice to hear from GJann-it! Hope the vacay is belly good to you!

Pah-Tay......I loved the joke!

NikNik...thanks for sharing our SoozleB. I am so amazed by that voice....and of course I passed it on! I hope she gets her wish to sing before the Queen. I wonder about "her story" but I'm sure we'll hear about it at some point. BTW......happy belated birfday! Glad you had a nice celebration. (What? NO BLACK BALLOONS? NO DEATH MASKS worn by family members? No big OVER THE (SAM)HILL jokes? Are you SURE you're really forty?) Ten years from now you're still gonna feel the same inside...but wondering how you ever got to 50!

Not much else to add. Hope you're all shiny inside! :)

elye Community Regular

:lol: Hey! All Psillyville veterans. .. . ...remember my tale of things constantly changing in first year life drawing studio, how I was constantly erasing and erasing??

Open Original Shared Link

DingoGirl Enthusiast
Gads. Can't believe the weekend is already over. They need to come up with some way of earning a living that doesn't require any actual work.

pseriously. Dude, you're a scientist, can't you guys invent summat for us? :P

I've been considering this: Would clove oil not be the perfect, unique birthday gift for just about anyone? It could be dabbed on anything that one wants rid of - - rolls around the stomach, collection notices. . . . .....into the eyes of the persistent salesman ringing at the door .. . . . . .....

Soooozle! Spray some at that devil cat! Wrap up a bottle for the Hispanic Gardener, and he just may disappear forever... . . . . . . ....

brilliant!!!!!!!!!!! :lol:

Yes.....I'll apply a few drops to me scalp and see if it cures gray hair. Maybe I'll smear some of the oil on my entire legs and eliminate the need for shaving forEVER. <haven't I already said this? feeling mildly delusional and tired today - did not leave the barbecue until 12:30 last night :blink: )

have I already said that part, too?:huh:

:lol:

I am sooooooooo stinkin' tired today :lol: punch-drunk, also *snackle*

:wacko:

A modicum of hangoverness . .... had an early start at 7.00am, now't a couple of painkillers couldn't take care of

MYGAAWD!!!

The magical clove oil

Must try this on Alzey's verruca plantar wart <is that what you call 'em??>

He's had it for a YEAR (bad mummy, no pain though

Mummy's coming over....t'is her birthday tomorrow (72yrs? :unsure: )....... alas, I drunk ALL the wine

:lol: this wee post o' Nik's somehow cracked me up

*veruca* = latin dance :lol:

Hi all. I'm back but terribly behind . . . in all aspects of my life. Will try to be on here and there, but it will take a while. We are suppose to be going to Florida on Saturday for a week (family trip) . . . not sure how I'm gonna pull that one off, but the tickets were purchased two months ago.

Jyanit :wub:

get some rest and take care of yourself!! Florida COULD be good for all of you.

Oh Sils. Got me man to join da book.

Marvelous!!!!! and yes, does he want to be our friend???? :lol:

Yes, it just sounds so. . . . ....... . primitively black-arts magical.. ...... .to be administered by those with cloven hooves er sumphin'... . .. . . .. .

Perhaps it COMES from cloven hooves?? :huh:

Nik, yes! Try it on Alzy's verruca! (This is a crazy word - - sounds much like a Latin dance)

Just put a drop on first thing in the am, then put on a band-aid and repeat at night.

Took two days for us. . . ....scary.

Mygawd.....speaking of all the wine being gone. .. ....I have deeply distressing news for both POeter and I. Our provincial seller of alcohol, the LCBO, is....wait for it.......

Going on strike.

This is such an enormous development in my life. . . .....

I can barely comment.

Hi Slim Shady :lol:

WHOT??? an al-kee-haul providers' strike? :o

good Lord.......

cloven-hoofed :lol:

Our Sooze last night :

Open Original Shared Link

she looks adorable! So cheeky.

Sills - have you seen this Play Him Off Cat? I LOVE the Kitteh :wub:

watch the second one down - the guy falling off the treadmilll

Open Original Shared Link

I am soooooooo easily amused today :lol:

*snort*

HI Tuh-ree-sargh!!!! :)

DingoGirl Enthusiast
:lol: Hey! All Psillyville veterans. .. . ...remember my tale of things constantly changing in first year life drawing studio, how I was constantly erasing and erasing??

Open Original Shared Link

OMG :lol: :lol:

I love his hair

:wacko:

mimommy Contributor

First off, Janet hope you are doing well and resting. Take that vacation, girl, you deserve it!!!! :)

Mygawd.....speaking of all the wine being gone. .. ....I have deeply distressing news for both POeter and I. Our provincial seller of alcohol, the LCBO, is....wait for it.......

Going on strike.

This is such an enormous development in my life. . . .....

I can barely comment.

OMG.

Canna imagine my DH on Da Book.

"What in hell? You're sending me pictures of Susan Boyle and some guy's writing on my good, clean wall. . . ..... ..gad, words that sound dirty comin' in. . ....... .WHAT'S IT ALL ABOUT??"

No wine?!?! The humanity for Gad's sake :o

Yeah, our men have that in common, Em Slim . He's already accidentally got a friend he didn't want (snicker). He'll figure it out--he's smart that way ;)

Does he want to be our friends????

*snort*

<mainly women of a certain age ;) >

Yes! Do it!!! Invite him to be your friend (I gave him fair warning already that my crazy sils might try to be friends :lol: )

Hey! All Psillyville veterans. .. . ...remember my tale of things constantly changing in first year life drawing studio, how I was constantly erasing and erasing??

Open Original Shared Link

That was tres funny! :rolleyes::lol:

pseriously. Dude, you're a scientist, can't you guys invent summat for us?

I am sooooooooo stinkin' tired today punch-drunk, also *snackle*

Marvelous!!!!! and yes, does he want to be our friend???? :lol:

Hi Slim Shady :lol:

Really, Jess. Put science to work for the little guy chick :lol:

WIH was in that punch, Suze? :rolleyes:

Yes, you guys--go give friend requests to Scott--hee! Make sure you tell him who sent ya.

elye Community Regular
Yes, you guys--go give friend requests to Scott--hee! Make sure you tell him who sent ya.

We must all head over there en masse - - twenty of us requesting Scott's friendship.......he won't know what hit him. :lol:

Have you sent him any high-powered rifles yet, Rayechull? :lol:

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    • Dora77
      Sorry for the long post. I’m 18, and I was diagnosed with celiac disease and type 1 diabetes (T1D). My transglutaminase IgA was >128 U/mL, EMA IgA positive twice, and I’m HLA-DQ2 and DQ8 positive. I’ve been completely asymptomatic since diagnosis, even when I cheated with gluten sometimes in the past and used to eat out(2-5 years ago) I don’t get the typical celiac reactions, which makes it really hard to know when (or if) I’ve been glutened. But for the past year, I’ve been the most strict with my diet, and that’s also when a bunch of new issues started. I eat completely glutenfree, never eat out, dont eat food that says „may contain gluten“.   Current Health Problems • Floating, undigested stools for over a year now. Dont think its related to celiac as it was like this since im 17 and not 13-16( i got diagnosed at 13). • Chronic back pain started gradually, worsens with movement, lots of cracking/popping sounds. Been ongoing for a year now. First noticed in the gym. • Abdominal bulge on the right side, not painful but seems to be getting slightly bigger. Doctor didn’t find a hernia on ultrasound, but it was done lying down (I’ve read those can miss hernias). Noticed it like 6 months ago, couldve been there longer. • extremely dry and mildly swollen hands (this started before I started excessive hand-washing), and bloated face. • Signs of inattentive ADHD (noticed over the past 3 years), now combined with severe OCD focused on contamination and cross-contact. • Growth/puberty seemed to started after going gluten-free. Before that I was not developing. Dont know if any of these are because of celiac as my dad doesnt have those and he is a lot less strict gluten-free then me. I also had pancreatic elastase tested four times: values were 46 (very low), 236, 158, and 306 (normal). Gastroenterologist said one normal value is enough and I don’t have EPI. Family doctor prescribed Kreon anyway (after I pushed for it), and I just started taking 1 capsule (10,000 units) with meals 2 days ago, but couldn‘t see effects yet because I’ve been constipated the last few days. Maybe because of thyroid. I don’t have Hashimoto’s. No thyroid antibodies. But I took levothyroxine for slightly low FT4 levels. My thyroid levels fluctuated between borderline low and low-normal. And recently lowered my dose so that may have caused the constipating. I probably didn’t need it in the first place, and am thinking about stopping it soon.   Current Diet Right now, I only eat a very limited set of “safe” foods I prepare myself: • Gluten-free bread with tuna or cheese • Milk and cornflakes • gluten-free cookies/snacks • Bananas (the only fruit I trust right now) I rarely eat other fruits or vegetables, because I’m scared of contamination. My dad, who also has celiac but doesn’t care about CC, buys fruits, and he might’ve picked them up right after handling gluten bread. That makes me feel unsafe eating them. Even fruit at stores or markets feels risky because so many people with gluten on their hands touch them.   My Home Situation (Shared Kitchen) We’re a family of 5. Only my dad and I have celiac. He eats glutenfree but doesn’t care about CC and sometimes (but rarely) cheats. My mom and siblings eat gluten bread at every meal. My mom is honest (so if i ask her to be cautious, she most likely would try to), but doesn’t seem to understand how serious celiac is. She: • Stopped using gluten flour • only cooks gluten-free meals (but they still heat up gluten bread and also cook gluten noodles) • Keeps separate butter/jam/jars for me • Bought me a stainless steel pan Bu we didn’t replace old wooden utensils, cutting boards, or other pans. The new they bought me pan was even carried home in a shopping bag with gluten bread in it, which triggered my OCD. It also has a rubber handle and I’m scared it might still hold onto gluten. Even if it’s washed well, it’s stored next to other pans that were used for gluten food/bread. Our kitchen table is used for eating gluten bread daily. My mom wipes it but not with soap. I’m scared tiny particles remain. If she made gluten-free bread dough on a board at the table, I’d still worry about cross contmaination contamination even with something under the dough and on the table as at one point the dough would probably touch the table. So I stopped eating anything she makes.   I know OCD is making it worse, but I can’t tell how much of my fear is real and how much is anxiety. Examples: • I wash my hands 20–30 times a day — before eating, after touching anything at home or outside, after using my phone/laptop. • I don’t let others touch my phone, and I’m scared to use my laptop because friends at school or my brother (who eat gluten) have touched it. And it annoys me a lot when others touch my stuff and feels like it got contaminated and is unsafe instantly. • I stopped eating while using my phone or laptop, afraid of invisible gluten being on them. • I wash my hands after opening food packaging (since it was on store cashier belts where gluten food is placed). • I avoid sitting anywhere except my bed or one clean chair. • I won’t shake hands with anyone or walk past people eating gluten. • At school, when switching classes, I wash my hands before getting out my laptop, again before opening it, etc. • I open door knobs with my elbows instead my hands   Job Concerns (Powder Coating, Sandblasting, Etc.) I’m working a temporary job right now that involves: • Powder coating • Sandblasting • Wet spray painting • Anodizing There’s also a laboratory. I don’t need this job, and my OCD makes me believe that dust or air particles there might contain gluten somehow. Should I quit?   Doctors Haven’t Helped My family doctor told me: “Asymptomatic celiac isn’t serious, if you have no symptoms, your intestines won’t get damaged, so you don’t need a gluten-free diet.” I knew that was wrong, but he wasn’t open to listening. I just nodded and didn‘t argue. My gastroenterologist (who’s also a dietitian) said: „If your antibodies are negative, there’s no damage. It might even be okay to try small amounts of gluten later if antibodies stay negative.“ Also said, pepper that says “may contain gluten” is fine if it only contains pepper. She was more informed than my family doctor but didn’t seem to fully understand celiac either.   Questions I Need Help With 1. Is it realistically safe to eat food my mom cooks, if we get separate pans/ and boards even if gluten is still used in the same kitchen? There will always be low risk of cc chances like that she will still touch stuff that was touched by her and my siblings after they ate gluten. And as there are gluten eaters in the house and she also prepares and eats gluten. So would opening the fridge then getting the food and touching the food be okay? So basically what i am doing, washing my hands multiple times while preparing food, she would only wash it once before, then touch anything else (for example water tap or handles) that were touched with gluteny hands, then also touch the food. I dont know if I ever could feel safe, I could try telling her how important cc really is. And I trust her so she wouldnt lie to me then be careless about cc, but idk how safe it really can be if she and everyone else keeps eating gluten and touching stuff in the house after eating. 2. Do I need to worry about touching doorknobs, fridge handles, light switches, etc. that family members touched after eating gluten? What about public places like bus handles or school desks? Or like if i went to the gym, I would be touching stuff all the time, so there will be small amounts of gluten and those would get transferred on my phone if I touch my phone while in the gym. But I want to knos if it would be enough to do damage. 3. Is an endoscopy (without biopsy) enough to tell if my intestines are healed? I’d pay privately if it could help and if i dont get a refferal. Or do i need a biopsy? 4. Could my job (powder coating, sandblasting, etc.) expose me to gluten or damage my intestines through air/dust? 5. Do I need certified gluten-free toothpaste, hand soap, shampoo, or moisturizer? (For example: Vaseline and Colgate don’t contain gluten ingredients but say they can’t guarantee it’s gluten-free.) 6. Is spices like pepper with “may contain traces of gluten” safe if no gluten ingredients are listed? Or does everything need to be labeled gluten-free?  7. Is continuing to only eat my own food the better choice, or could I eventually go back to eating what my mom cooks if she’s careful? 8. is cutlery from dishwasher safe if there are stains? Stuff like knives is used for cutting gluten bread or fork for noodles etc. I often see stains which i dont know if its gluten or something else but our dish washer doesnt seem to make it completely clean. 9. I wash my hands multiple times while preparing food. Do i need to do the same when touching my phone. Like if i touch the fridge handle, I wash my hands then touch the phone. I dont eat while using my phone but i leave it on my bed and pillow and my face could come in contact with where it was.  10. Do i need to clean my phone or laptop if theyve been used by people who eat gluten? Even if no crumbs fall onto my keybaord, i mean because of invisible gluten on their fingers. 11. Does medication/supplements have to be strictly glutenfree? One company said they couldn‘t guarantee if their probiotics don’t contain traces of gluten.  12. I had bought supplements in the past, some of them say glutenfree and some of them dont(like the brand „NOW“ from iherb). I bought them and used them when i wasnt washing my hands so often, are they still safe? As I touched and opened them after touching door knobs, water taps etc. It was like a year ago when i bought those and even though i was eating gluten-free, I never worried about what i touch etc. I know this post is long. I’m just extremely overwhelmed. I’m trying to protect myself from long-term health damage, but the OCD is destroying my quality of life, and I honestly don’t know what’s a reasonable level of caution anymore. Thanks for reading.
    • lmemsm
      I've been making a lot of black bean brownies lately because it's one of the few gluten free dessert recipes that actually tastes palatable.  I've also seen chocolate cake recipes with black beans.  Someone mentioned a cookie recipe using lentils in place of flour.  Just wondering if anyone's run across any tried and true recipes using beans, lentils or peas for desserts?  I've seen a lot of recipes for garbanzo flour but I'm allergic to garbanzo beans/chickpeas.  Was wondering if adzuki or pinto beans might be useful in replacing some or all of the flour in baking.  Since gluten free flours can be crumbly was hoping the beans might help produce a better, less crumbly consistency.  Any recommendations for recipes?  Thanks.
    • lmemsm
      I've seen a lot of recipes for chia pudding, so I decided to make some with chia, water, cocoa and honey.  Didn't like the taste, so I added ground sunflower and ground pumpkin seed to it.  It tasted okay, but came out more like frosting that pudding.  I used to make pudding with tapioca starch, milk powder, water and sugar.  It came out very good but I haven't figured out what to use to replace the milk powder to make it dairy free.  Most starches will work in place of tapioca starch but quantity varies depending on the type of starch.  If I didn't add enough starch to get a pudding consistency, I'd add gelatin as well to fix it.  Avocado and cocoa makes a good dessert with a pudding like consistency.  Unfortunately, I have a bad reaction to avocados.
    • lmemsm
      Seems like when I find a gluten free product I like, the producer stops manufacturing it and then I have trouble finding a new gluten free source for it.  What's worse, I've been contacting companies to ask if their products are gluten free and they don't even bother to respond.  So, it's making it very hard to find safe replacements.  I was buying teff flour at nuts.com and they no longer carry it.  I noticed Naturevibe has teff and soy flour.  However, I can't get a response as to whether their flours are safe for someone with celiac.  Can't get a response from Aldi if their peas are safe for someone with celiac either.  I know Bob's Red Mill has teff flour but was hoping to get a large quantity.  I've been using up the 20 ounce Bob's Red Mill teff flour too quickly.  Does anyone know of a good source for teff or soy flour?  Any recommendations where to get gluten free beans, peas or lentils?  I found some packages of gluten free beans at Sprouts but not much variety.  I've also been looking for lentil elbow macaroni and it seems like no one is making that now that Tolerant was bought out.  Any suggestions for safe sources for these types of ingredients.  Thanks.
    • chrish42
      All I can say is this site is great!
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