The Funny Pages - Tickle Me Elbow - The Original

[mushroom]

Sounds like the PERFECT name for the latest male porn star.......his bio:

"My reputation as the most well-endowed adult film star has preceeded me.....for I am known as NIAGARA Phallus"........

Unfortunately, for the aging porn star, it's more likely Viagra phallus

[Jestgar]

Unfortunately, for the aging porn star, it's more likely Viagra phallus

--snork--

[Mtndog]

Unfortunately, for the aging porn star, it's more likely Viagra phallus

I had to come on and SNACKLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :lol: :lol: :lol:

And ranger Sewzann- omg- your break-up with SHM was stellar :lol: :lol:

[mimommy]

Sounds like the PERFECT name for the latest male porn star.......his bio:

"My reputation as the most well-endowed adult film star has preceeded me.....for I am known as NIAGARA Phallus"........

Unfortunately, for the aging porn star, it's more likely Viagra phallus

Dying over here X100!!!!

OMG,something is wrong wif my dog

His face is swollen and he is scratching at his cheek and lip

I think he may have been stung

[blueeyedmanda]

Niagara Phallous!!! LOL!!!

[elye]

VIAGRA FALLS!

OMG,something is wrong wif my dog

His face is swollen and he is scratching at his cheek and lip

I think he may have been stung

Oh, dear, Rayechull... . ........ya may wanna take him to the vet. Swelling reactions always worry me so...Poor wee thing......

[DingoGirl]

*SNACKLE*

:lol: :lol: :lol:

very phunny day here in the 'ville. Soozle is pleased.

Niagara Phallus aging, has-been porn star.....

got lots to say........no time for tons of quotes, and getting quote-busted

Just keep the wackl flowin, sills

back later -

and then - I'll have to tell you all about this TRAUMATIC trip invitation for February to a bunch of us from this gal we went through school with - - OMG - she lives in Beverly Hills in a 10-bedroom house....has servants, maids, etc. - - very fun girl, but.....I am a slovenly hag

dear gawd - - I am the poorest one among this crowd - - can hardly imagine going, but they want me there for comedic relief, and since I haven't seen them in decades, they don't even know how po' I am, and how my life has been

fully askeert

[nikki-uk]

OMG!!!!!!........ Viagra Phallus....totally worthy of the totem

fully askeert

*sigh*

You too eh??... why are all the old school chums fabulously wealthy and successful

Very slow brain today.....tired....... Harry (Lithuanian kitteh) woke me up at 2.00am leaping out of the cat carry box on top of me wardrobe

He crash landed on me feet, said ''oh Hai - can you let me out now???''

Cat's are normally kicked out at night....but this clever li'l fella snuck in

Anyhoo - could nae get back to sleep until 20 mins BEFORE the alarm went off

Carry ON !!!!!!!!!!

[mimommy]

VIAGRA FALLS!

Oh, dear, Rayechull... . ........ya may wanna take him to the vet. Swelling reactions always worry me so...Poor wee thing......

I called the vet and first they said to bring him in, then they said I could give him over the counter benadryl, so I did--75MG!! Holy poopy cow. Pretty soon he'll be like I put ice on the most swollen part, but he's not cooperative. I'm kind of wishing I had just taken him in

dear gawd - - I am the poorest one among this crowd - - can hardly imagine going, but they want me there for comedic relief, and since I haven't seen them in decades, they don't even know how po' I am, and how my life has been

If you like them, then so what Suze? Just go and have fun. If you're not comfortable with them, then...

I was so anxious about reconnecting with people I hadn't seen in twenty years, but I found out every body is in the same boat--we've all aged, we're all hurting financially, etc. Some even act like they're still in high school

Dress up in something special and tell them anything you want them to know They won't know the difference.

[mushroom]

I called the vet and first they said to bring him in, then they said I could give him over the counter benadryl, so I did--75MG!! Holy poopy cow. Pretty soon he'll be like

Holy poopy cow indeed I did that once to one of me kittehs on veterinary advice and the poor thing was literally climbing the walls. Would go charging across the room and up the wall And then back and up the other side. We had to grab her and hold her and try to keep her calm until it wore off.

[jerseyangel]

If you like them, then so what Suze? Just go and have fun. If you're not comfortable with them, then...

I was so anxious about reconnecting with people I hadn't seen in twenty years, but I found out every body is in the same boat--we've all aged, we're all hurting financially, etc. Some even act like they're still in high school

Dress up in something special and tell them anything you want them to know They won't know the difference.

This is so true--plus quite honestly Souczie, how about all those things that are special about you that money can't buy?

I say go and have a good time

[Jestgar]

This is so true--plus quite honestly Souczie, how about all those things that are special about you that money can't buy?

I say go and have a good time

'sides, maybe they'll buy you drinks all night

[ranger]

Hope your dogs OK.

I went to the garden to find my center- kind of su-zenish. Came in mellow and relaxed. Then, I starterd reading! Oh my God! Orgys with feet, heart moniters and crazy glue! My all time fave. Porn kings named something like Dick Falick Falls! Memery's not so good. And its only 3:00. And I don't think EVERYBODIES drunck, but some of you might be. Want me to guess! And the thaught that I could do a part-time job here in the home. But, I'll have to buy a pole. And a new body. But, I do feel more energized now, and can mabe bring myself to think about dinner.

I picked a tomatoe in the garden. What you crazies going to with that one?

Sloo-zen

[DingoGirl]

If you like them, then so what Suze? Just go and have fun. If you're not comfortable with them, then...

I was so anxious about reconnecting with people I hadn't seen in twenty years, but I found out every body is in the same boat--we've all aged, we're all hurting financially, etc. Some even act like they're still in high school

Dress up in something special and tell them anything you want them to know They won't know the difference.

First of all - MIMMS!!! yer poor dog!! Any change since giving the benadryl? it should work.....hope he's better soon.....

Um...........okay. About these HS gals: some of them I have never actually spent even a modicum of time with, don't know if I like them. So, I'm a bit surprised they're including me in on all of this. The one with the 10-bedroom house, I knew quite well and we were friends, and our fathers were partners....my friend KarenLY was friends with all of them, and so I guess that's how I'm "in." Our 30-year reunion is next summer, which started this frenzy.....

But.....Mimms......most of these gals are REALLY WEALTHY. They are NOT - none of them but me (and Karenly and her hubby) in any sort of dire financial straits. They would have absolutely NO ability to comprehend how po' I is. I wouldn't have an outfit cute enough......the hostess shops at the Dior boutique in Paris and flies constantly to New YOrk to shop at Bergdorf's. (I have noted that she throws these things down casually now and then and, if this trip is goign to be about who can out-impress whom, I would not be remotely interested in going) But, most of the gals, despite being successful, are very down-to-earth and fun.

and - the kicker - this is for a DAYS-LONG trip to stay at the mansion in Beverly Hills. Dennis Quaid is her next-door-neighbor. This is a slumber party of the highest calibRE - she said, her hubby and five kids (who go to private boarding school when they're of age) will all be in Mammoth skiing for 10 days.....hence the girl party. And we can leave messes around, and the housekeeperS (note plural) will clean up after us.........dear gawd!

so - with my princess-and-the-pea sleep issues, food issues (she would have a LAVISH g f spread for me, this I know), social anxiety issues, and poverty issues - gadzooks!!!

Could be very fun, or very stressful.....Karenly and I have not decided whether we're going or not.

But you should SEE the discussions on FB about it - very, very funny.

This is so true--plus quite honestly Souczie, how about all those things that are special about you that money can't buy?

thanks Padt

'sides, maybe they'll buy you drinks all night

oh my gawd - there would be expensive booze flowing the entire three-day weekend....believe me. She's already mentioned the champagne....

I went to the garden to find my center- kind of su-zenish. Came in mellow and relaxed. Then, I starterd reading! Oh my God! Orgys with feet, heart moniters and crazy glue! My all time fave. Porn kings named something like Dick Falick Falls! Memery's not so good. And its only 3:00. And I don't think EVERYBODIES drunck, but some of you might be. Want me to guess! And the thaught that I could do a part-time job here in the home. But, I'll have to buy a pole. And a new body. But, I do feel more energized now, and can mabe bring myself to think about dinner.

I picked a tomatoe in the garden. What you crazies going to with that one?

Sloo-zen

Slough-zen :lol:

you is a mad lady....don't even know where to START wif dis post

we NEED A PICTURE!!!!!!!!!! put a danged photo of yerself up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

but...I don't think I have anything to say about yer tomatuh

back to housecleaning......I am going mad, not working....

pondering carpet shampoo

[DingoGirl]

shamPOO is a funny word :lol:

say..........maybe I should start drinking now?

[mimommy]

and - the kicker - this is for a DAYS-LONG trip to stay at the mansion in Beverly Hills. Dennis Quaid is her next-door-neighbor.

pondering carpet shampoo

Yes, that age old axiom~

"To shampoo, or not to shampoo..."

Having Dennis Quaid superhotty right..next...DOOR <swoon> is the deciding factor, Love. "the kicker" indeed

[elye]

Dear gawd - - I am the poorest one among this crowd - - can hardly imagine going, but they want me there for comedic relief, and since I haven't seen them in decades, they don't even know how po' I am, and how my life has been

Bah, Soooozle.........just run off copies of the 2,200-page Psillyville Tome and hand them out upon your arrival - - "All right, this about covers what's been goin' on in MY head, and life, over the past few years"......

I went to the garden to find my center- kind of su-zenish. Came in mellow and relaxed. Then, I starterd reading! Oh my God! Orgys with feet, heart moniters and crazy glue! My all time fave. Porn kings named something like Dick Falick Falls! Memery's not so good. And its only 3:00. And I don't think EVERYBODIES drunck, but some of you might be. Want me to guess! And the thaught that I could do a part-time job here in the home. But, I'll have to buy a pole. And a new body. But, I do feel more energized now, and can mabe bring myself to think about dinner.

OMG........ Sewzinn is PHUNNEEE! DICK FALLIK FALLS! Sounds like the gameshow host of the century.. . ...... ..

A pole in yer living room.....quite a conversation piece, if nuttin' else........

Shampoo, as a word, is indeed phunny. Um, Tomato.............hmm......nope. Not phunny. Sorry, Sewzinn.....canna do a thing with it.

[DingoGirl]

Yes, that age old axiom~

"To shampoo, or not to shampoo..."

Having Dennis Quaid superhotty right..next...DOOR <swoon> is the deciding factor, Love. "the kicker" indeed

<snackle>

well, let's see, before this trip to LA I'd have to:

1. get hair extensions

2. get liposuction of belly and other areas

3. lose 10 pounds

4. bleach my teeth until my gums fell off

5. have full-body spray tan

6. upper eyelid surgery

7. botox filler in angry line between brows

and......do 500 situps a day for six months

and....none of the above will happen :lol:

and this is why I never go to LA - can't stand it -

[jerseyangel]

Bah, Soooozle.........just run off copies of the 2,200-page Psillyville Tome and hand them out upon your arrival - - "All right, this about covers what's been goin' on in MY head, and life, over the past few years"......

Yeah....that outta do it

[mimommy]

Bah, Soooozle.........just run off copies of the 2,200-page Psillyville Tome and hand them out upon your arrival - - "All right, this about covers what's been goin' on in MY head, and life, over the past few years"......

Shampoo, as a word, is indeed phunny. Um, Tomato.............hmm......nope. Not phunny. Sorry, Sewzinn.....canna do a thing with it.

We'll send letters of authenticity, if it helps

An Ode tomahtoe (eh-hem):

Mah toe, oh no!

So far below.

Mah toe~don't know

if you can go

all night around

mah dancin' pole.

Mah toe, you know

viagra can't e'en help you

grow.

Mah toe, you're cool

workin' out in the public pool.

Woodstock wants you,

at the orgies they drool.

<snackle>

well, let's see, before this trip to LA I'd have to:

1. get hair extensions

2. get liposuction of belly and other areas

3. lose 10 pounds

4. bleach my teeth until my gums fell off

5. have full-body spray tan

6. upper eyelid surgery

7. botox filler in angry line between brows

and......do 500 situps a day for six months

and....none of the above will happen :lol:

and this is why I never go to LA - can't stand it -

Lipo? Botox??

I know! If things go badly you can 'confess' to earning your living as a high-paid call girl and then act like you recognise her husband's photograph

I went 'schmoozing' once or twice wif some hob-nobbers I knew and I still laugh about it. The only one who didn't accept me for the person I am was even less, shall we say 'fortunate' than I am. Once I was invited to attend a $200 a plate charity lunch. The hostess/speaker was a highly prominent newswoman who was more recently relieved of her position for her alleged involvement in a little "pay to play" scandal we call Synegro. My table mate--the well-to-do'er who brought me--didn't know what to do with the cold potato soup, so instead of using her spoon she picked up the glass and belted it back like a beer She later told me that "rich people have better manners" and I almost choked.

Just be yourself Suze!!! Don't even try to live up to that lifestyle--why in **** would you want to??

[ranger]

I'd go in a min. Think of all the free stuff that we "normal" peeps can't afford. Just get thee arse to a highclass thrift shop and spend a little more than you can afford on something really dingo-esque. I'm sure you look fine, and your personality is Suburb. I was never rich, but most of my friends were. It never stopped me. I used to be richer, but now I'm dirt poor ( the reccesion hit us years ealier than most), but I'd get my arse to a high..........

Yes, I'm aware of the Burning Man thing and would love to go, but that dirt poor thing always gets in the way. Besides, anything with the word MAN in it is out for me, with all the heartache I've had with that 4-timing jugular. But, I might take him back and share him. Isn't sharing a good thing and really the base for any good foot orgy?

The Seezio from Ohio

[Jestgar]

It'll be a blast Suze. They've acquired money, you've acquired experiences. Yours are better.

[ranger]

We'll send letters of authenticity, if it helps

An Ode tomahtoe (eh-hem):

Mah toe, oh no!

So far below.

Mah toe~don't know

if you can go

all night around

mah dancin' pole.

Mah toe, you know

viagra can't e'en help you

grow.

Mah toe, you're cool

workin' out in the public pool.

Woodstock wants you,

at the orgies they drool.

Lipo? Botox??

I know! If things go badly you can 'confess' to earning your living as a high-paid call girl and then act like you recognise her husband's photograph

I went 'schmoozing' once or twice wif some hob-nobbers I knew and I still laugh about it. The only one who didn't accept me for the person I am was even less, shall we say 'fortunate' than I am. Once I was invited to attend a $200 a plate charity lunch. The hostess/speaker was a highly prominent newswoman who was more recently relieved of her position for her alleged involvement in a little "pay to play" scandal we call Synegro. My table mate--the well-to-do'er who brought me--didn't know what to do with the cold potato soup, so instead of using her spoon she picked up the glass and belted it back like a beer She later told me that "rich people have better manners" and I almost choked.

Just be yourself Suze!!! Don't even try to live up to that lifestyle--why in **** would you want to??

That is the most eridulite pome I have ever read. It catches the essence of tomatoe!

[Mtndog]

This is so true--plus quite honestly Souczie, how about all those things that are special about you that money can't buy?

'Zactly- Our Psiouxsie is rich in the IMPOTENT ways!!!!!!!!!!

Rachel- Is your pup OK? has the Benadryl hit- it makes me too. Then I pass out.

shamPOO is a funny word :lol:

say..........maybe I should start drinking now?

You mean you haven't started? It's 5:00 here!!!!!!!!!

<snackle>

well, let's see, before this trip to LA I'd have to:

1. get hair extensions

2. get liposuction of belly and other areas

3. lose 10 pounds

4. bleach my teeth until my gums fell off

5. have full-body spray tan

6. upper eyelid surgery

7. botox filler in angry line between brows

and......do 500 situps a day for six months

and....none of the above will happen :lol:

Nah......you're more than likely 10x hotter than them. I overheard a woman say this weekend, "Body by kids, maintained by Coors"

An Ode tomahtoe (eh-hem):

Mah toe, oh no!

So far below.

Mah toe~don't know

if you can go

all night around

mah dancin' pole.

Mah toe, you know

viagra can't e'en help you

grow.

Mah toe, you're cool

workin' out in the public pool.

Woodstock wants you,

at the orgies they drool.

We have a new POOet Laureate!

Yes, I'm aware of the Burning Man thing and would love to go, but that dirt poor thing always gets in the way. Besides, anything with the word MAN in it is out for me, with all the heartache I've had with that 4-timing jugular. But, I might take him back and share him. Isn't sharing a good thing and really the base for any good foot orgy?

Oh no....Burning man :lol: Me hubby has been at least 4 times (really- when we lived in san Francisco) I have yet to join him

[psawyer]

Hmmm, a trip to Niagara Phallus sounds quite stimulating. Only Emily would look at phalls and see what she did (tho my spell checker suggests it as one correction).

Okay, so if there is SHAMpoo, what happens when the poo is not sham? There's a delightful image for the shower.

I think I hear the sounds of the Political Correctness Police heading to Nevada to ensure that this Burning PERSON is properly named with inclusive language.

Soozie, go and have a great time.

Quick pop-in--must go start on the lasagna.