The Funny Pages - Tickle Me Elbow - The Original

[jerseyangel]

  ranger said:

My Sylvia Plath thung is gone:

I am now Mia Angelou

Ranger Sluvonovitch--yer killin me!

I wanna see those phamous pheet o'youse!

[Darn210]

Alright . . . I've succumbed to peer pressure and put up a picture of one of my feets . . . See, I think a little polish would help detract from the fact that I need to shave my legs.

[jerseyangel]

  Darn210 said:

Alright . . . I've succumbed to peer pressure and put up a picture of one of my feets . . . See, I think a little polish would help detract from the fact that I need to shave my legs.

Jeeze Jan-it.......not fer nuthin ........a wee bit of grooming goes a long way

A vat of wax and a heavy duty toe nail clipper over here, stat!

[jerseyangel]

I see you down there, PeOter---haul them pheet out here!

[ranger]

  jerseyangel said:

Ranger Sluvonovitch--yer killin me!

I wanna see those phamous pheet o'youse!

In all Syriousness (BTW- I am Irish) I am, by law, not allowed to show my pheet in publlic. You guys can bandy your feet aroud, like boobs at Marde Gras. F#* Fett

I love New Orleans. I had so much fun there in a few days. I started to write a book. The title was "Sarah Offinger and her Seven Starving Offpsring'. iT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A COMEDY.

But, fron the first word, it was not. It was about a woman who was brutally raped and beaten and ended in a cheap motel outside of NO. On Lake Ponchotrain. I fleshed out the characters, outlined the plot, wrote 2 chapters. And then Katrina hit !

Pffspring"

[elye]

'Morning, Psills!

Gah. What feet you have there, Jyaghnutt. I am......speechless.... .....

Slewskiza! Get back on that novel you began! Take it up again..... . sounds like you have something grand, there.

But wait -- I'll bet the notes for said book are on your art table, beneath your crock pot.

Hell, just add the shredded pages to your BOOGERNION recipe.

[ranger]

Jaggernut- You only need to shave 1 leg and then put yer best foot forward.

Pester- Don't want to see your balls again, just a vew of your feet.

Em-modiem- If If moved my c-pot, i wood have to cook and paint. Way too lazy.

Am an unscheduled person, but every am have the same routine. Stumble to the kitchen, hit the on on button on the coffee pot, go pottyandbrushtooth,drink coffee smokin ciggarettes and watching Captain Kangaroo, Then take my fasting blood sugar. This am I was especialyy stumbly felt almost typsy almost tipped over. Blood sugar 38! I checked to see if I was in a coma. Asertined that I was not (the pinch test) and grabbed a candy bar. Piskes me off, cause now I have to take a post-cranial test and those strips cost $$.

So, I'm posting on the internet with no glucose feeding my brain and I think we're all in trouble. If I offend anyone, I can take the anti- Twinkie defense! If I forgit anyone, I can take the oldtimers desiese defense. If I'm totally obnoxious, well, that's just me.

Good Morning. Just wanted to tell all of you how much your wit and cents of humor has enhanced my life.

Sarah Offinger

[Jestgar]

'mornin' all. Those island hellions have struck again, more signage. Would love to discuss it, but I desperately need coffee.

Goin' to a farm t'day. Fortunately someone else is driving.

[elye]

  ranger said:

Piskes me off, cause now I have to take a post-cranial test and those strips cost $.

Slewzinskia! 38!? This is right dangerous! Are you type one or two?

What in hell is a post-cranial test? Li'l strips that you put in yer ear to measure sugar movement through the synapses? Well, nothing could cost more than the blood-testing strips, at a dollar per.... . . .

  ranger said:

So, I'm posting on the internet with no glucose feeding my brain and I think we're all in trouble. If I offend anyone, I can take the anti- Twinkie defense! If I forgit anyone, I can take the oldtimers desiese defense. If I'm totally obnoxious, well, that's just me.

I havewritten online post-insulin reaction, and my train of thought is usually pretty stable, but thank GAWD no one can see me (absolutely NO webcams will grace my PC system) as I often have syrup-encrusted hair, looking quite unbelievable. I throw back maple syrup in the night/early morning when I dip low, or DH pries open my mouth when I just cannot. It can miss the mark. Things can look kinda like this:

http://www.1976design.com/blog/images/34a.webp

  Jestgar said:

'mornin' all. Those island hellions have struck again, more signage. Would love to discuss it, but I desperately need coffee.

GAH! Details!

Are you gettin' more civckebs at this farm, Jyessss?

[Jestgar]

  elye said:

GAH! Details!

Are you gettin' more civckebs at this farm, Jyessss?

Eatin' ones, mebbe, if'n he's got 'em :ph34r:

Apparently the rogue sign posters got a standing ovation at a recent PTO meeting at the school that would benefit from the bond that the grouchy poster is opposing....

[ranger]

M- Type 2 and you? Ya, it bugs me when it goes that low, especially since I spend so much time alone. But, it gives me an excuse to eat a Butterfinger bite (like I need an excuse). NOTHIN and I mean NEVER does anythig EVER travel between my synapses. No known strip can measure the great void. But, ya do clean up well. luv the hair!

Jestica- You are going to a pharm to get CHICKENS? If you see a live no-headed chicken, can ya pick me up one?

Signs, signs, everywhere a sign. And signs about signs. Someone should sing a song about signs.

[jerseyangel]

  ranger said:

Signs, signs, everywhere a sign. And signs about signs. Someone should sing a song about signs.

[elye]

  jerseyangel said:

I was waiting to see a van of crazed, marker-and-bristol-board-brandishing renegades from Puget Sound racing through that video. .. . ....

[nikki-uk]

  jerseyangel said:

Pads right on cue

You know, I think I like Sleuzinskia's posts EVEN better when there's now't firings between the synapses!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

EM!!..love the pic ....my hair looks like that every morning without maple syrup

[Darn210]

Oh, Sleezan wasn't talking about these signs?

[psawyer]

  Darn210 said:

Oh, Sleezan wasn't talking about these signs?

:lol: Especially the Choking Hazard. Pause the video and read the whole thing.

[curlyfries]

  Darn210 said:

Oh, Sleezan wasn't talking about these signs?

Also like the one about having sharp edges......in small print at the bottom it says also, the bridge ahead is out

[celiac-mommy]

I worked here all thru high school, people used to stop and take pics of the sign. Think it was on Leno once!

Open Original Shared Link

[DingoGirl]

:lol:

happy Saturday aft, Sills..........y'all are in phine phettle today, and LOVE the pheet

<------- hit refresh, and you will see the UGLIEST pheet

Please note very short toes and the fact that they are presently NOT polished, AND I have not taken care of ragged cuticles

HAAAAAAAAAAAATE MY PHEET

and *gasp*

I think NICOLA has the MOST beautiful feet! those long phalange toes are what I COVET!! are you CRAZY??? I have severe PHOOT ENVY of Nik's beautiful, tanned, long toes and nice nails

So - when they shorten your toes, you can give the bones to me, for my extensions

  mushroom said:

Now that's my problem, phinally identified: the crockpot is in the wrong place. Put crockpot on painting table, mix watercolor, heat on low for five hours and if ya still feel in da mood, throw some paint on de paper and see what happens; mix with garden soil from under de fingernails, throw on a civckeb and let in walk all over it and ye have a masterpeice

LOVE this, shroomie. Good luck getting out - STAY ALIVE!!! we WILL FIND YOU!!!!!!!!

  nikki-uk said:

<-----------THE FOOT!!!!!!!!!!!!

My feet are ugly - toes are like fingers , second toe longer - skinny, skinny feet that build up stupid amounts of hard skin (because it protects them?)

Anyhoo, I need a fat implant (got plenty elsewhere) and a toe shortening op ........... actually I've watched a programME about cosmetic surgery for feet - ............_{<scared!..hold me!!...hate pain!!>} actually, I think I'll put up wiv wot I've got

you could na be more WRONG, Missy. hard skin? You wanna talk about HARD SKIN????? dear gawd, you should see mine. 'tis like a white, hard, cracked shield, everywhere. bane of my existence, truly

Emmel's and Pad's pheets lookin' quite nice also

Kurt's feet - as white as mine (I actually have fake tanner on them - otherwise they are positively NOT flesh-coloUred)

  ranger said:

Here's the reciept.

1. Cut the erasor tips off yer pencils till you have 1 lb. Add to pot.

2. Snip off the bristles off 2 #10 brushes. Add to pot.

4. Add 2 small tubes of Burnt Umber, a 1/2 lb. of linseed oil, and toss. Cook on low for 6 hrs.

5. Remove lid. Add 1/2 bottle of dry, red turpentine and all the snot you have collected all day.

6. Cook on highfor 2 more hrs. And you have that classic French dish-

ERASOR TIPS BOOGERNION!

OR

1. Draw a white on white pitcher of Pautine. Add to pot and cook for 8 hours on low. And you have-

A HOUSE ON FIRE! ::

OH

MAH

GAH

:lol: x 500

I think this is the phunniest thing I"ve EVER read on this thread - nearly spit out me water, Slutvana

eraser tips boogernion *snackle*

Geoss buying civkebs today? fer eatin? whot? just stick to bacon and ice cream!!!!!!!! sounds good to me........oh, but no drinking, and no fooling around? well - never mind *cakle*

part deux coming up

[DingoGirl]

  celiac-mommy said:

(

This, my dear, sounds FABULOUS!!!! My hubby does NOT like Edward and he's NOT allowed in our bed any more! Damn....

I think it's a problem for lots of hubbies

  ranger said:

Nice pheet all, but not as nice as mine. Mine are so nice that I could be footmodel. Of couse, I would have to wear oven-mitts on them to protect them from bastages like you guys who would like to cut them off to make high gelatinous soup out of them. . Perfect pheet, jelous bastages. I am not allowed, by law, to show my feet in public for the feer that hairless childs would become so morose that they would slay there parents for the lack of proper gynichological and genentech misinformation. Not to mention the crazed serial rapist would become insane at the site of my almost phalic phalanges.

Is it a matter of the manner of birth? It could be. I was born to a cult of future Wal-Mart employees in Omaha, Neb. They did home births, and reached up and pulled the child out by the head withe price guns, I was 50% off. Needless to say, this totally deformed my head, but my feet were f*ing PERFECT!

Love ya all, but hate your pheat,

Sylvia Sleezen Plathovich.

As Em said, am always rather speechless and riotous after Sleezen's posts

  ranger said:

But, I can for sure dance with the most espungent feet on the phace of the earth! Which, proves to me, that I am the daughter of a 100 and 15 year old black woman. I am so proud! I've always got teary-eyed over the song " We Shall Overcome".

My Sylvia Plath thung is gone:

I am now Mia Angelou

gnutty is whot she is, just plain GNUTTY

  Darn210 said:

Alright . . . I've succumbed to peer pressure and put up a picture of one of my feets . . . See, I think a little polish would help detract from the fact that I need to shave my legs.

*snort* maybe a wax?

  ranger said:

I love New Orleans. I had so much fun there in a few days. I started to write a book. The title was "Sarah Offinger and her Seven Starving Offpsring'. iT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A COMEDY.

But, fron the first word, it was not. It was about a woman who was brutally raped and beaten and ended in a cheap motel outside of NO. On Lake Ponchotrain. I fleshed out the characters, outlined the plot, wrote 2 chapters. And then Katrina hit !

Pffspring"

Um......how did it get to New Orleans all of the sudden?

I have a song 'bout Lake Ponchartraine, sung by BGTAnyas - love it - but they're canadienne, so that's conphuzing

  Jestgar said:

Apparently the rogue sign posters got a standing ovation at a recent PTO meeting at the school that would benefit from the bond that the grouchy poster is opposing....

gahhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!! that is phan-pharking-tastic, Geoss

  nikki-uk said:

You know, I think I like Sleuzinskia's posts EVEN better when there's now't firings between the synapses!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

EM!!..love the pic ....my hair looks like that every morning without maple syrup

either way, Slutzer is uppin' the wackl mighty phinely

[JNBunnie1]

<----- Look look! The royal feet!!!!

Nail polish has kinda growed out, but I'm kinda lazy about stuff noone but my boyfriend ever sees.

And hey Dingo Lady! White skin used to be what was coveted, for thousands o years no less!! This dark skin thing is just a fad, don't worry.

I got cracked today, I's tired.

[ranger]

As I told you, since my SIL (who has a Masterbaters degree in Russian Lit) fixed my PC, I cannot get video on my personal computer (PC). I donowno how to make botched soup and beef stroganoff and ptravonovich balls as a very sad derivitive of that expain. Please!

The song, Signs, was published in 1970. and done by a band called "The 5 Man Electrical Band". As I was a rabid hippy-dippy at that time, I think I know this to be true. That day, there was some orange sunshine and maybe a bit of marscolin. I was 24. That's the last time I cleaned my house.

My personal rules for cleaning:

1. Do yer laundry. Fold yer clothes and put them on the LR chair that nobody sits in. Saves time. o No going into the bedroom and snouting thru the dresser.

2. Donn't evr make the bed. Bedding needs to air out.

3. Do the dishes once a day, every day. Waking up to dirty dishes is as bad as going to sleep without a kiss, unless you have no one. Then, call me. I'll hook you up. With John.

4. When you feel the need to wash sumptin like walls, floors, mirrors, toilets , yer kids, wait tillit's filthy so you can see the dif. What a feeling of accomplishment!

[curlyfries]

  JNBunnie1 said:

<----- Look look! The royal feet!!!!

Ummmmm........bunnie, dear..........ya might wanna change yer caption under yer av!

[JNBunnie1]

  curlyfries said:

Ummmmm........bunnie, dear..........ya might wanna change yer caption under yer av!

HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

[curlyfries]

  ranger said:

My personal rules for cleaning:

1. Do yer laundry. Fold yer clothes and put them on the LR chair that nobody sits in. Saves time. o No going into the bedroom and snouting thru the dresser.

No spare living room chair. How about the dining room table?