The Funny Pages - Tickle Me Elbow - The Original

[elye]

This is not exactly something I've ever wondered about..... . .

Hmm.. ... . . . ..... ....have I ever, even once, in my entire life, lain awake at night, wondering what the genetic implications would be if two identical twins married two other identical twins, and had children. ... .. .... . .?

Nope. Never.

Actually, Jack always tells me things that I have NEVER thought nor wondered about.

He told me yesterday that Ottawa, Ontario, has an 82% chance, year to year, of having a white Christmas.

London has a 15% chance.

Vancouver -- 13%.

Good to know... .. . .. . ..I, uh, guess.. . .....

[elye]

I phorgot!!!

HI, RAY-CHULL!!

[celiac-mommy]

I phorgot!!!

HI, RAY-CHULL!!

HI EM!!!

I did respond, very respectfully and thankful to her for her love and concern. I just got a response that essentially says my family will not be accepted into Heaven because of our lifestyle. She also thinks my DH has turned his back on God because he refuses to say the blessing at dinner-WIH?!?!

How am I supposed to be in their home for 5 days next week?? Oh I know, I just put all the vodka back in our bar freezer last night (needed the space)--all 14 bottles are going with me!!! But I tell ya, one more slam from her and I refuse to go!!!

[jerseyangel]

DH's response: Why are you getting so upset, you know she's crazy.... That followed "Have you been distracted lately? YOU were the last adult into the house Saturday, so YOU were responsible for the garage door being left open and all MY tools were stolen and nothing of yours, YOU got hit by another car, and YOU lost our son in the same day, are you sure everything's OK?" Right, cuz I have alterior motives, and I wanted all this sh!t to happen to me.....?!?!?!

Grrr-rrr-rrr (((Hugs))) I'm sorry hubby is being a fart. I would probably ask him what it's like to be perfect

As for yer MIL.....when I was your age it would have really bothered me but now I have no patience for mind games. I have the utmost respect for people to believe as they wish, but loathe when they use it to try and shame others.

You're a good person and a good mom.

Shtick happens....that's all.

True dat!

Hey! How 'bout the Ripper's postulations from this am? Quite fittingly psilly, methinks.... .. . ....all these identical twins hypothetically marrying, having kids who become shared children with their siblings... ... ... . ...I think .. . . ......

I thought I commented on this earlier Must be losing me mind Tis very interesting, yet something I've also never thought about.

He told me yesterday that Ottawa, Ontario, has an 82% chance, year to year, of having a white Christmas.

Houston's gotta be in the single digits......

Oh I know, I just put all the vodka back in our bar freezer last night (needed the space)--all 14 bottles are going with me!!!

Sounds like a plan

Did I see a minimom sighting??

[psawyer]

DH's response: Why are you getting so upset, you know she's crazy.... That followed "Have you been distracted lately? YOU were the last adult into the house Saturday, so YOU were responsible for the garage door being left open and all MY tools were stolen and nothing of yours, YOU got hit by another car, and YOU lost our son in the same day, are you sure everything's OK?" Right, cuz I have alterior motives, and I wanted all this sh!t to happen to me.....?!?!?!

Sheesh! After all you've been through already, you don't need more grief from family. Your MIL sounds like a real piece or work, but Jeez, hubby too?

Will 14 bottles be enough? Mebbe Jess has some she can share; I think she's the closest of us. Oh, wait, it's her birthday so that would take priority.

Not much silly here. Carry on!

[elye]

HI EM!!!

This is phunneeee. .. ......it's just no good a 'tall that we have two psillies with almost exactly the same name. Rah-shellle, I was yelling a greeting to Ray-chull, the psill who hasn't been around in ages. .... .. ...our pho-ne-tick spelling of everything adds more to the confuson... . ..but excellent that you greeted me back! Hell, with the weekend you've just been through, we need to be throwing you lots o' ... .. ... . ..

Okay.... .. ....as I know that you are all now simply fascinated by the statistical probabilities of snow on Christmas day, Jack has provided me with some comprehensive data for the US:

City Probability Open Original Shared Link 90% Open Original Shared Link (Alaska Panhandle) 17% Open Original Shared Link 100% Open Original Shared Link 1% Open Original Shared Link 3% Open Original Shared Link 1% Open Original Shared Link 1% Open Original Shared Link 50% Open Original Shared Link 57% Open Original Shared Link 13% Open Original Shared Link 13% Open Original Shared Link 3% Open Original Shared Link 30% Open Original Shared Link 40% Open Original Shared Link 30% Open Original Shared Link 50% Open Original Shared Link 23% Open Original Shared Link 13% Open Original Shared Link 83% Open Original Shared Link 23% Open Original Shared Link 50% Open Original Shared Link (Open Original Shared Link) 90% Open Original Shared Link 97% Open Original Shared Link 73% Open Original Shared Link 23% Open Original Shared Link 67% Open Original Shared Link 44% Open Original Shared Link 20% Open Original Shared Link 87% Open Original Shared Link 23% Open Original Shared Link 3% Open Original Shared Link 77% Open Original Shared Link 10% Open Original Shared Link 1% Open Original Shared Link 83% Open Original Shared Link 60% Open Original Shared Link 60% Open Original Shared Link 3% Open Original Shared Link 1% Open Original Shared Link 10% Open Original Shared Link 33% Open Original Shared Link 37% Open Original Shared Link 3% Open Original Shared Link 47% Open Original Shared Link 13% Open Original Shared Link 7% Open Original Shared Link 8% Open Original Shared Link 53% Open Original Shared Link 7% Open Original Shared Link 8% Open Original Shared Link 70% Open Original Shared Link 30% Open Original Shared Link 23% Open Original Shared Link 60%

Jack simply pores over these kinds of numbers. ....don't quite know what he's computing, or wondering, or thinking..... . . .

[jerseyangel]

Rae-schell--Once upon a time, Mark and I were shopping with our 2 little kids--the younger one was about 2. This kid was an ideal child--sweet, quiet, well behaved, didn't cry or carry on excessively.....a little joy. He was slow to walk, and had only been mobile for maybe 6 months at this point.

He was right there with us and his brother, when we took our eyes off them at the same time for about a second--and he was gone. Gone. We called to him, searched around frantically--he was no where to be found. I was beyond panic--we alerted the salesperson who alerted the security guard. They monitored the door. It was awful--I'd never been that afraid of anything, nor have I been since.

After what felt like an hour (but was probably more like 15 minutes), he came peeking out of a round rack of clothing I swear I had looked into, not 2 feet from where we had been standing.....very proud of himself for putting one over on us. This was after a half-dozen of us had combed the whole store.....twice.

Don't let anyone make you feel badly--things happen despite our best efforts sometimes. Thank goodness all is well now, the rest of 'em need to let up and move on.

[elye]

Good Morning, Psillies!

Wow, we may be skewing those Ottawa white Christmas stats this year.... . . we'll see, but it has been continually mild and warm all through November (KNOCK WOOD!)... .. ...today will be sun and 10 C.

The thought of shovels, window scrapers and big, messy boots.. . .. ....ugh.

[Jestgar]

'mornin' all

Lyle had some remaining tooth chips taken out of his jaw, so hopefully it will heal now.

Drywall guys should finish today with texturing.

Turned my homework in on time.

Life is all good. No lost kids. No insensitive hubbies. No chance of a white Christmas. What else could a girl want?

[celiac-mommy]

Tis a new day, tis going to be a good day. DH told off MIL last night, responding to her email, so that's good. I'm still not looking forward to spending next week with her, but I guess I'll just have to suck it up and be the bigger person!

Sorry Em, I'll pay more attention to my name-whether or not it contains an "s" I needed the big, enthusiastic "hi" though, so I'll just pretend it was for me

Jess, hope Lyle is OK now, that sounds painful!! I'm happy that you have no lost kids, insensitive hubby, and no hope for a white Christmas-I'll try to live vicariously through you!!

Thanks for you support, it's good to have good friends!!

[Jestgar]

I'm happy that you have no lost kids, insensitive hubby, and no hope for a white Christmas-I'll try to live vicariously through you!!

Fair enough. And anytime I see a small child wandering aimlessly I'll bring him to your house -- just in case.

[elye]

No lost kids. No insensitive hubbies. No chance of a white Christmas. What else could a girl want?

Um... . . . . .. ... . .. .......a silent, geographically and spiritually distant MIL?

Jyesss! You've apparently got an 8% chance of a snowy Christmas... . ... .... ..statistically improbable, but there's always a chance.... .. . ..

[mushroom]

1

DH's response: Why are you getting so upset, you know she's crazy.... That followed "Have you been distracted lately? YOU were the last adult into the house Saturday, so YOU were responsible for the garage door being left open and all MY tools were stolen and nothing of yours, YOU got hit by another car, and YOU lost our son in the same day, are you sure everything's OK?" Right, cuz I have alterior motives, and I wanted all this sh!t to happen to me.....?!?!?!

Raeshell, WIH has been going on in yer life?? (I don't access da Book). What a hideous set of cirumstances and wot a horrid response from hubby; mine does that too, kick a gal when she's down!! I kick him back!! As for MIL, one's religious practices (and ultimate destination ) is one's own affair even if they are her grandkids you are raising. You poor dear; will be thinking of you, fortified with wodka at Thanksgiving and can hear you giving thanks that Thanksgiving only comes once a year

He told me yesterday that Ottawa, Ontario, has an 82% chance, year to year, of having a white Christmas.

London has a 15% chance.

Hey, I aced it! Only there for one Christmas and it snowed on Christmas eve. Magical!

Grrr-rrr-rrr (((Hugs))) I'm sorry hubby is being a fart. I would probably ask him what it's like to be perfect

Aren't all husbands poifect (in their eyes) :rolleyes: And all wimmen (by comparison) complete nincompoops??) When you think about it, it's amazing what we can manage to accomplish with our total inadequacy

Um... . . . . .. ... . .. .......a silent, geographically and spiritually distant MIL?

I lucked out with my MIL; wheelchair- and house-bound with MS (bet she was celiac too--they just blamed everything on her MS), grateful for anything I did for her, afraid to upset me in case I didn't come back (I was such an ogre ) and unable to pop in on me unexpectedly and catch egregious household neglect, even though we moved close to take care of her.

Have my sis down visiting for a week. We celebrated her birthday yesterday at a restaurant cafe devoted to food allergen sufferers. Guten/dairy/egg/nuts and also vegetarian, some dishes are GDENV free all at once.. I took my own loaf of bread (without potato starch) picked up fresh and still warm from the Gluten Free Bakery and we feasted on chicken with a glorious rocket pesto, a wondrous Mediterranean rice salad with nuts and dried fruits and a green salad sans tomato where we didn't have to worry about soy or gluten in the dressing. Capucchino and a Choc. biscuit and it was all good. He was going to give us a substitute spread for our bread and I said goshdarnit, no, LAY ON THE BUTTER!!! And the bakery has offered to bake fresh for me whenever I want because the loaves without potato starch turn out so well they can sell them in the bakery, so just let them know I'm coming the day before and fresh bread all the time :D I'm feeling very lucky.

Hope you have all been having stress-free days with cooperative husbands, no lost children, silent MIL's, no accidents, no ills, no badnesses of any kind

[psawyer]

Still not much silly here.

A nasty day in Toronto for a lot of people. The Yonge subway (underground mass transit) was partially closed early in the day after somebody jumped in front of a train.

Then in the afternoon, a construction contractor working above the line a few miles further north damaged the tunnel, so the line was shut through that section for the entire evening rush and may not reopen in time for the morning rush.

Meanwhile, in the early hours of this morning, Toronto Fire responded to a call a few blocks from our store and found a crystal meth lab. This is an upscale 'hood where small semi-detached houses run about $800,000--the pholks running the lab had rented both halves of the building (they are at large somewhere, according to police).

Tomorrow is another day.

[elye]

Wow, POeter.....never a dull moment in your burg.. . .. . .... . .

In Ottawa, it is fairly exciting when the O-Train is stopped to let a gaggle of Canada geese (complete with waddling chicks) cross the tracks... . . .....that seems to be what makes news, here.

Really, though, that's the way you want it to be, methinks.

[Mtndog]

Still not much silly here.

A nasty day in Toronto for a lot of people. The Yonge subway (underground mass transit) was partially closed early in the day after somebody jumped in front of a train.

Then in the afternoon, a construction contractor working above the line a few miles further north damaged the tunnel, so the line was shut through that section for the entire evening rush and may not reopen in time for the morning rush.

Meanwhile, in the early hours of this morning, Toronto Fire responded to a call a few blocks from our store and found a crystal meth lab. This is an upscale 'hood where small semi-detached houses run about $800,000--the pholks running the lab had rented both halves of the building (they are at large somewhere, according to police).

Tomorrow is another day.

Today will be better.

Today will be better.

Today will be better.

Holy SH%t! A crystal meth lab? Nutting phunny about that.

[psawyer]

Good morning! Thursday was a quiet, rainy day. Today it is sunny, and it continues to be unseasonably mild.

Where are all the sillies?

[elye]

Where are all the sillies?

Gaaaaaahhh, Oracle POeter! I've been in a sudden, terrifying forumless abyss, since suppertime last night. Finally just got back online after calling my friendly ISP, BUT my router needs re-configuring.

What in hell? I dunno how to do this, or if that will even fix the original problem, as I am currently by-passing the router and have the modem hooked up right to the tower.

Gads. I canna stand what I know will be coming - - the plaintive wailing of internet addicts as the withdrawal takes hold.... . .... DD and DS will NOT be able to work the laptop NOR the ever-handy ipod touch.. . . .

[jerseyangel]

Em--just noticed the new av!! So cute

[psawyer]

Gaaaaaahhh, Oracle POeter! I've been in a sudden, terrifying forumless abyss, since suppertime last night. Finally just got back online after calling my friendly ISP, BUT my router needs re-configuring.

What in hell? I dunno how to do this, or if that will even fix the original problem, as I am currently by-passing the router and have the modem hooked up right to the tower.

Hmmm. What type of router do you have? I am most familiar with the LinkSys WRT54G and its close relatives. Do you know just what the problem is with the configuration? I'll be offline for about the next hour--heading for the store with errands on the way.

Love the substandards in the av!

[elye]

What type of router do you have? I am most familiar with the LinkSys WRT54G and its close relatives. Do you know just what the problem is with the configuration?

Oh, dear gawd, I wish I DID know. I wish I knew more than simply how to surf the net, print stuff, access and send email.... . ..crap, should take me a course or two.

I have a LinkSys WRT310N, purchased from Future Shop about ten months ago. We've had a problem with it before and it has been recently configured - -everything fine until last evening. I've got my friendly neighboUrhood geek ($$) coming over at 4 to see what in hell is going on.

Cha ching.

Every time he comes over, this techie always comments on my desktop pic... . .says it's the most memorable one he's ever seen. Here it is:

[Mtndog]

Good morning! Thursday was a quiet, rainy day. Today it is sunny, and it continues to be unseasonably mild.

Where are all the sillies?

Reporting fer duty King Peter- at thy service!

Em- That is one crazy painting! It's Magritte, is it not? Always makes me think of the Thomas Crowne Affair.

The substandards look great! happy and healthy and homey! Yeah Elsie and Charles! Such a great breed...smart sweet and loving!

[celiac-mommy]

Hellooooooo!!

So far, Friday has been good!(and I gets to see New Moon tonight so that's even bettah!!) Thursday was so busy that I didn't have time to think of all the things I've been so upset about, so that is good

MIL and I emailed each other back and forth 3x each, finally DH actually sat down and read everything each of us had written, he told me I was being WAY too nice, and he fired off a well written, straight to the point email telling her to mind her own business and that since she has "Zero say on whether or not we get into Heaven," she should butt out for good and "Never again preach to me in an email!" We got a final note from his father putting the kabash on any more emails, it was respectful, to the point and actually made sense So either, 1. We aren't going to Hell, or 2. They've officially told us that we were sinning, so they are now obsolved of witnessing our heathenism, and are free to enter Heaven while we, and all the other people I love so dearly are going to Hell together! I guess we'll have to wait and see how it turns out-----hopefully waiting a long, long time!!

Hope you all have a wonderful weekend. We are going to my mother's to enjoy a pre-Thanksgiving, Thanksgiving feast with all the other heathens in my family. Then we will be off to Idaho to visit said inlaws and hope they don't burn us on a stake or sumphin

Luvs ya all!!!

[jerseyangel]

Have a phun, saphe trip Rah-shell! I'm sorry I said your hubby was acting like a fart--he really came through for you!

[celiac-mommy]

Have a phun, saphe trip Rah-shell! I'm sorry I said your hubby was acting like a fart--he really came through for you!

Oh he was being more than a fart, tis not unusual for him Thanks for the well wishes. I'm gonna be drunk 5 days straight!!