Jump to content
This site uses cookies. Continued use is acceptance of our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy. More Info... ×
  • Welcome to Celiac.com!

    You have found your celiac tribe! Join us and ask questions in our forum, share your story, and connect with others.




  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A1):



    Celiac.com Sponsor (A1-M):


  • Get Celiac.com Updates:
    Support Our Content
    eNewsletter
    Donate

The Funny Pages - Tickle Me Elbow - The Original


TriticusToxicum

Recommended Posts

Mtndog Collaborator

OK- part two of the student who alluded to the Police in his email (in which I asked him if he had read that book by Nabokov). He came in looking MORTIFIED today. That book by Nabokov is Lolita and it is NOT a nice book! I mean it's a great book, but it's not exactly what you want to allude to in an email to your teacher. :P

However, a friend of mine sent me this email:

"Good luck with grading papers - of course, in a non-King of Pain kind of way. I hope you don't have to find a new "career" like Roxanne did. I'm sure your students know that Every Little Thing you do is Magic, and that Every Breath you Take is providing the Synchronicity that they need to help them get their degrees. And if they don't, well, there's always Murder by Numbers..."

BA HA HA HA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :lol::lol::lol::lol:


Celiac.com Sponsor (A8):
Celiac.com Sponsor (A8):



Celiac.com Sponsor (A8-M):



  • Replies 51k
  • Created
  • Last Reply
CarlaB Enthusiast

Um, Richard, that leg lamp from A Christmas Story doesn't look like the description under it!!

I actually found those lamps in B'ton Indiana!!!

DingoGirl Enthusiast

Bev - - ba ha ha ha h ah ahhh!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wait....you did not know the book was Lolita? :ph34r::o:lol::lol::lol: Um, thought you did....remember, shaking like that OLD MAN in the book by Nabokov.....yikes.....a few years ago I started reading Lolita, in fact it is sitting in my shelves, and it grossed me out.....too creepy, couldn't do it! ha ha ha , LOVE that email from your co-worker!! :)

OMG, a guy has come into work a couple of times....not my type.....gave me his phone number, clearly wants to go out....so I called him tonight. Fun conversation. who cares. Told him I was DAMAGED and we could be friends, maybe, at best. He said, did you NOT get my marriage proposal? okay, so he's funny. Not my type. BUT......he REMEMBERED that I am Celiac, says he's coming in on Saturday with a gluten-free gift for me......

gained about 1,000 points!! I said, do you KNOW the fastest wayto the heart of a Celiac????? it's FOOD, baby, FOOD!!!!! :lol::lol::lol: so I told him if he does this, I will relent and go out to coffee with him. :)

Carla. Where was the leg? what'd I miss? I didn't see Richard posting the leg anywhere. And I'd know what it was, have seen that movie a hundred times. :)

Um, Richard, that leg lamp from A Christmas Story doesn't look like the description under it!!

I actually found those lamps in B'ton Indiana!!!

Mtndog Collaborator
Bev - - ba ha ha ha h ah ahhh!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wait....you did not know the book was Lolita? :ph34r::o:lol::lol::lol: Um, thought you did....remember, shaking like that OLD MAN in the book by Nabokov.....yikes.....a few years ago I started reading Lolita, in fact it is sitting in my shelves, and it grossed me out.....too creepy, couldn't do it! ha ha ha , LOVE that email from your co-worker!! :)

OMG, a guy has come into work a couple of times....not my type.....gave me his phone number, clearly wants to go out....so I called him tonight. Fun conversation. who cares. Told him I was DAMAGED and we could be friends, maybe, at best. He said, did you NOT get my marriage proposal? okay, so he's funny. Not my type. BUT......he REMEMBERED that I am Celiac, says he's coming in on Saturday with a gluten-free gift for me......

gained about 1,000 points!! I said, do you KNOW the fastest wayto the heart of a Celiac????? it's FOOD, baby, FOOD!!!!! :lol::lol::lol: so I told him if he does this, I will relent and go out to coffee with him. :)

Carla. Where was the leg? what'd I miss? I didn't see Richard posting the leg anywhere. And I'd know what it was, have seen that movie a hundred times. :)

Oh NO! I KNEW it was Loloita but he didn't and he must have found out and been horrified. Ha ha ha ha!

You're right- food,baby,food!

:wub: Awww...give him a chance.

TriticusToxicum Explorer

Quick drive-by...

I am SOOOOOOO BUSY! This will last until about the middle of January :(

I miss you all too. :)

So I'm away for a bit and you all have been busy ...

1) Seducing students (Beverly, what will we do with you!)

2) Getting Lyme Disease (Sorry to hear, but happy you've finally got an answer Carla)

3) Getting engaged before the first coffee date?? :blink: (Was is the architect with the pencil fetish as i predicted?)

Must go prepare for an appointment.

Try to stay out of trouble (or jail in Bev's case ;) )

CarlaB Enthusiast

Do you see the leg now? If not, refresh, he's still got it. I think I may get Adam one of those lamps for Christmas!! :lol: He has a little room he's finished in the attic, it would be hysterical, it actually is a front window, but through the dormer in the roof. LOL

Richard, I didn't "get" Lyme while you were gone .... just got diagnosed with it!! ;) It's great knowing that I'm really sick and not a hypochondriac ... of course, I've always known that ...

Beverly, I missed the first part of the story about the guy emailing you about the book ... is this a different guy than the brown-noser?

TriticusToxicum Explorer
Do you see the leg now? If not, refresh, he's still got it. I think I may get Adam one of those lamps for Christmas!! :lol: He has a little room he's finished in the attic, it would be hysterical, it actually is a front window, but through the dormer in the roof. LOL

Richard, I didn't "get" Lyme while you were gone .... just got diagnosed with it!! ;) It's great knowing that I'm really sick and not a hypochondriac ... of course, I've always known that ...

Beverly, I missed the first part of the story about the guy emailing you about the book ... is this a different guy than the brown-noser?

OOHHHHHHHH... I thought you were waiting for your Deer Tick to come in the mail! :P


Celiac.com Sponsor (A8):
Celiac.com Sponsor (A8):



Celiac.com Sponsor (A8-M):



CarlaB Enthusiast

Okay, I have a funny "A Christmas Story" type story. I was dressed up in a rather conservative dress, so I wore fishnet stockings with it. My very young son (he was about 6), said, "Mom, I LIKE your tights!" It really reminded me of that scene in "A Christmas Story" where the boy looks at the lamp leg .... maybe you had to be there, but it seems men of ALL ages like fishnets.

Mtndog Collaborator
Quick drive-by...

I am SOOOOOOO BUSY! This will last until about the middle of January :(

I miss you all too. :)

So I'm away for a bit and you all have been busy ...

1) Seducing students (Beverly, what will we do with you!)

2) Getting Lyme Disease (Sorry to hear, but happy you've finally got an answer Carla)

3) Getting engaged before the first coffee date?? :blink: (Was is the architect with the pencil fetish as i predicted?)

Must go prepare for an appointment.

Try to stay out of trouble (or jail in Bev's case ;) )

no richard, unacceptable answer. You are required in this thread... you started it! :P:P

No jail for Bev.....he started that one. Yes- Carla, same brown noser student who went a LITTLE too far in his brown-nosing and got embarassed (as he should!). I see him for conference today- he will be SCARED (I am so frightening in person :P:lol: ). Actually, I can count the number of times I've been truly angry with someone (annoyed, aggravated, yes, but not angry) and it's NOT pretty. I'm a Scorpio :ph34r: I love my peeps fiercely. :wub::wub:

DingoGirl Enthusiast

RICHARD!!!!!!!!!!

Dr. Bev is absolutely right. it is an UNACCEPTABLE answer and we will not have this. No, no, no, no and again no. You are REQUIRED to check in at least once a day!!!!!!!!!!! :angry::P:angry::P:angry::P

all right, the dingos are pacing, I just got home from work (um, I have some power there now as the other "shopgirl" (reference to the bored girl in Steve Martin's novel) has quit! because she is TOO miserable there! So, they are being EXTRA nice to me now and I repeat, I have power. B) Kinda fun. But, it means the dingos are alone for long periods of time.....not so good :huh: . so anywho they are beyond staring and onto pacing, I have to take them out in the cold and dark, in teh community of STepford a-walking we will go.

Whereas, I have nothing to say after the whereas. :huh::lol:

and it's my big TV night, The Office, Gray's, and then my new favorite, Men in Trees. Big night here.

what an exciting life I lead. :lol:

oh, the guy who is not my type who asked me out came in today. you may remember, last night I finally got around to calling him on the phone to tell him that I couldn't go out with him. So, he comes in today, to buy something, and then says, I almost called you back last night to tell you good night. :huh::ph34r: Um, scary and stalkerish, and I told him so....... :huh:

Mtndog Collaborator

Oh susie- just Don't Stand so close to him! :lol::lol::lol::lol:

DingoGirl Enthusiast
Oh susie- just Don't Stand so close to him! :lol::lol::lol::lol:

excellent. ;) My co-worker says it's because I"m too approachable and too friendly to everyone.....hence guys think they have a chance.

holy cow, I am going to watch this. The new, cranky Dingo Bee-och girl will emerge. :lol::lol::lol:

TriticusToxicum Explorer
oh, the guy who is not my type who asked me out came in today. you may remember, last night I finally got around to calling him on the phone to tell him that I couldn't go out with him. So, he comes in today, to buy something, and then says, I almost called you back last night to tell you good night. :huh::ph34r: Um, scary and stalkerish, and I told him so....... :huh:

Did you happen to mention the your collection of skull crushing artifacts? :blink:

I wouldn't eat any of the gluten-free stuff he brings...you might wake up in Thailand or something :blink::o

If he was buying anything sharp or pointy i would DEFINITELY PASS and get an unlisted number. What kind of creep is this? He sounds more "Divinyls" than "Police" if you get my drift :ph34r:

Glad you're wielding some Dingo-tude at work. :)

DingoGirl Enthusiast
Glad you're wielding some Dingo-tude at work. :)

DINGO-TUDE!!!!! :lol::lol::lol::lol: That's my new favorite thing!

Um, waking up in Thailand.... :lol: yes, I'll watch for that. I gotta get rid of this guy. The skull-crusher won't do it.....the guy is HUGE. Maybe 6'5" and over 300 pounds? :huh: well I suppose a strategically placed whack to the head....... :lol:

anywho so glad you checked in Richard. You're off the hook, for today.

Carla...you DEFINITELY must buy that lamp for Adam and put it in the window. Too funny.

okay.....gotta figure out what to do with today.....too many heinous things on my list. ugh. :angry:

TriticusToxicum Explorer
.....the guy is HUGE. Maybe 6'5" and over 300 pounds? :huh

Sounds like a Hunka-HUNKA Burnin' Love to me! :o

Time to get some Open Original Shared Link...

maybe a set of Open Original Shared Link or a SHINOBI-ZUE even a KUSARIGAMA would be helpful. The bigger they are the harder they fall, so aim low and stand back. Use your dingo-like quickness to your advantage :)

DingoGirl Enthusiast
Sounds like a Hunka-HUNKA Burnin' Love to me! :o

ewwwwwwwwwwwwww :huh:

no no no make it stop!!! :blink:

TriticusToxicum Explorer
ewwwwwwwwwwwwww :huh:

no no no make it stop!!! :blink:

Maybe you could use this to your advantage. Maybe you could get him to sit on the annoying brother. Then buy him a bunny "I will love him and pet him, and call him George" and send him on his way. :)

Mtndog Collaborator
Did you happen to mention the your collection of skull crushing artifacts? :blink:

I wouldn't eat any of the gluten-free stuff he brings...you might wake up in Thailand or something :blink::o

If he was buying anything sharp or pointy i would DEFINITELY PASS and get an unlisted number. What kind of creep is this? He sounds more "Divinyls" than "Police" if you get my drift :ph34r:

Glad you're wielding some Dingo-tude at work. :)

Nice! Dingo-tude it is! :lol::lol::lol::lol::lol:

Waking up in Thailand would be great.......just not THAT way!

TriticusToxicum Explorer

Bev? TRIPLETS?! I didn't even know you were expecting!

ahhhh only 16 days until 24 hrs of "A Christmas Story" some of the best lines Open Original Shared Link :)

I so LOVE this time of year if for nothing other than TBS on Christmas eve :rolleyes:

happy weekend to all

CarlaB Enthusiast

We own the movie ... so, Richard, I'm sure you know all your soap flavors, which one did you like best?

Jestgar Rising Star

Another Christmas related bit of science

Open Original Shared Link

DingoGirl Enthusiast
Bev? TRIPLETS?! I didn't even know you were expecting!

:huh::huh: what? confused....what'd I miss.... :huh:

Excellent santa claus scientificness, Jestgar! :)

OMG....trauma....lost my cell phone....discovered its absence this morning.....went psychotic....a good samaritan found it and called my mom...... :rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes: I am going to pick it up now!!! I am thrilled, have never lost it before and have been nervous all day, felt like I was missing a limb (I don't know why, I hardly even use the thing!)........ :lol: I lost it last night whilst walking the dingos in my complex (here at Stepford) and one of the gardeners found it and turned it into his boss!! There is GOOD IN HUMANITY!!! It's a Christmas MIRACLE!!! (well, not as good as the REd Ranger or was is Red Rider Rifle but pretty good) :P

Mtndog Collaborator

Susie Q- Hit refresh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

<-----------------------------------------------------

I wish I was expecting those three under my Christmas Tree!

But if you click Open Original Shared Link

Open Original Shared Link

Open Original Shared Link

Open Original Shared Link

andOpen Original Shared Link

You'll see what MIGHT be in my stocking this Christmas. Just applied for one.

YAHOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

TriticusToxicum Explorer
Another Christmas related bit of science

Open Original Shared Link

She blinded me with SCi-i-i-ence! B)

We own the movie ... so, Richard, I'm sure you know all your soap flavors, which one did you like best?

I don't think I have a "favorite flavor" I do however, NEVER want to see another bar of Fels Naptha for as long as I live! :wacko:

jerseyangel Proficient
I do however, NEVER want to see another bar of Fels Naptha for as long as I live! :wacko:

OMG!! You just made me think of my grandmother :lol:

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.


  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A19):



  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      131,181
    • Most Online (within 30 mins)
      7,748

    Ruby B
    Newest Member
    Ruby B
    Joined

  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A20):


  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      121.4k
    • Total Posts
      1m

  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A22):





  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A21):



  • Upcoming Events

  • Posts

    • Jane878
      By the time I was 5 I had my first auto0immune disorder, Migraine headaches, with auras to blind me, and vomiting, sensitivity to light and sound. I was 5 years old, and my stepfather would have pizza night, milling his own flour, making thick cheesy gluten pizza, that I would eat and the next day, I would have serious migraines, and my mother & stepfather did nothing about my medical problems. When I was 17 in my first year at college, I was diagnosed with my 2nd known auto-immune disorder, Meniere's disease. I was a elite athlete, a swimmer, and soccer player. And once again my parents didn't think anything of understanding why I had a disorder only older people get. Now after my mother passed from Alzheimer's disease she also suffered with living with gluten. She had a rash for 30 years that nobody could diagnose. She was itchy for 45 years total. My brother had a encapsulated virus explodes in his spleen and when this happened his entire intestines were covered with adhesions, scar tissue and he almost lost his life. He has 5 daughters, and when I finally was diagnosed after being pregnant and my body went into a cytokine storm, I lost my chance to have children, I ended up having Hashimoto's disease, Degenerative Disc disease, and my body started to shut down during my first trimester. I am 6ft tall and got down to 119lbs. My husband and I went to a special immunologist in Terrace, California. They took 17 vials of blood as we flew there for a day and returned home that evening. In 3 weeks, we had the answer, I have Celiac disease. Once this was known, only my father and husband made efforts to change their way of feeding me. At the family cabin, my stepfather & mother were more worried that I would ruin Thanksgiving Dinner. It wasn't until one of my cousins was diagnosed with Celiac disease. They finally looked into getting Gluten Free flour and taking measures to limit "gluten" in meals. He did nothing but ask for me to pay for my own food and wi-fi when I came to the cabin to stay after our house burned down. When he informed my mother, they proceeding to get into a physical fight and she ended up with a black eye. The is just more trauma for me. Sam had no interest in telling the truth about what he wanted. He lied to my mother that he had asked my husband if I could pay for "food" when he asked Geoffrey if I had money to pay for my wi-fi. My mother hates when he spends so much time on the computer so he lied and said I could pay for my own food. I will remind you I weighed 119lbs at this time. (At 6ft) that is a very sick looking person. Neither parent was worried about my weight, they just fought about how cheap my stepfather was. As my mother was diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease in 2014. He had her sign over the will to a trust and added his children. He had no testimonial capacity at the time, so she signed without proper papers. Making this Trust null and void. When I gave my brother my childhood home, my mother stated I would be getting an equal part of inheritance to the house on Race. It currently worth 2.0 million $. I got nothing, and my stepfather has since disowned me b/c of my claim and he knows that my mother would never have left it uneven between my biological brother and myself. She sat me and my husband down, as we lived at the Race Street house and treated and took care of it as our own. My brother took over b/c he was going through a horrific divorce and needed a home so he could get a better custody deal with his soon to be ex-wife who was a Assist DA for Denver. She used the girls against him, and he & I were the primary caregivers. We, Judd and I spent the most time with them pre the divorce. Once Judd moved into the house, he threw all of my mother, grandmother and my family heirlooms out to the Goodwill. Nobody told my mother about this as she was going through cancer treatment and had Alzheimer's disease in her mother and her sister. My stepfather and biological brother took advantage of this matter, as I called a "family council" that my brother just never could make it to at the last moment. All of the furnishing, kitchen ware, everything was in the house my brother just moved into. He had had 2 weddings, I chose to elope b/c my stepfather ruined my brother's first wedding by talking about his relationship with my brother in front of my dad and his entire family, insulting him and having my grandfather leave the ceremony. It was a disaster. My stepfather just plays dumb and blames my father for the slight. I was the only child not to have a wedding. So, my mother and stepfather never had to pay for a thing. My mother had had an agreement with my father he'd pay for college and all medical issues with their kids, myself and Judd. So truly my mother never had to pay for anything big for me in her entire life. I am looking for anyone that has had a similar story, where they grew up in a household that had a baker that regularly milled flour and ate gluten. What happened to you? DId you suffer from different auto-immune diseases b/c of living with a baker using "gluten" Please let me know. I have been looking into legal ways to get my stepfather to give me what my mother had promised, and he erased. Thank you for listening to my story. Jane Donnelly  
    • trents
      Possibly gluten withdrawal. Lot's of info on the internet about it. Somewhat controversial but apparently gluten plugs into the same neuro sensors as opiates do and some people get a similar type withdrawal as they do when quitting opiates. Another issue is that gluten-free facsimile flours are not fortified with vitamins and minerals as is wheat flour (in the U.S. at least) so when the switch is made to gluten-free facsimile foods, especially if a lot of processed gluten-free foods are being used as substitutes, vitamin and mineral deficiencies can result. There is also the possibility that she has picked up a virus or some but that is totally unrelated to going gluten-free.
    • Sheila mellors
      I asked about the new fruit and nut one and the Dietician said yes I could eat it safely. Hooe this helps
    • Heatherisle
      Daughter has started gluten free diet this week as per gastroenterologists suggestion. However says she feels more tired and like she’s been hit by a train. I suggested it could be the change to gluten free or just stress from the endoscopy last week catching up with her. Just wondering if feeling more tired is a normal reaction at this stage. I suppose it’s possible some gluten might have been present without realising. Have tried to reassure her it’s not going to resolve symptoms overnight
    • DAR girl
      Looking for help sourcing gluten-free products that do not contain potato or corn derived ingredients. I have other autoimmune conditions (Psoriatic Arthritis and Sjogrens) so I’m looking for prepared foods as I have fatigue and cannot devote a lot of time to baking my own treats. 
×
×
  • Create New...