The Funny Pages - Tickle Me Elbow - The Original

[nikki-uk]

Oh, great...man flu in Nikki's brain. She will presently be whining, complaining, not being able to find anything in the fridge, refusing to ask for directions on the way to the doctor...

Funny you say that Emily.....I can't find anything worth eating in the fridge (MUST be ill) ......and DOCTORS????

Doctors are for wimps!!!!!!!!!!

SLIMMING CLUB.....is that......the same thing as a .......... gym? "Joining a gym" is what we call it here.

NO!! I already belong and go to a gym 3 times a week (cardio and weights and that)

The slimmimg club is like *Weight Watchers* (whatever brand name) where they give you recipes, tell you how many treats per day to have. You attend once a week - queue up with a load of other women (sometimes men), get weighed in - listen to the pep talk - blah blah

Both leave me out of pocket

Equally egregarious

Open Original Shared Linkfor Susie

[Darn210]

Susie . . . we didn't recieve an follow-up on the car-buying trip. Spill the beans. What happened?

[DingoGirl]

Open Original Shared Linkfor Susie

Lovely. You must check out McKenzie- Childs - - totally whimsical and crazy. I used to paint children's furniture, decades ago, in nearly their exact style (plagiarism) and sold it.

Ohhhhhhh....the Slimming Club. Yes. I need one also. gads......sick of everything!!!!!!

Susie . . . we didn't recieve an follow-up on the car-buying trip. Spill the beans. What happened?

OMG! Loser (aka Gail) got her car yesterday! We each drove the bug, I have changed my opinion on them entirely - 'twas quite a sassy little thing! So.......she went back with her ex-boyfriend and got it. She called me several times today, out of her mind with joy over her car - she said that it sort of rears up when she accelerates, like a pony. 'tis a very good thing for her.

Alas.......it made me SO sad...........I desperately want a clean, newer car..... don't see how this will happen.

And OMG - my digital camera, JUST A YEAR OLD, is permanently blurry (none of the camera experts could fix it)......and THEN???????????????? My Ipod is DEAD today!!!!!!! a blank screen, nothing there, even the computer can't charge it - - NOTHING!! Just all of a sudden, DEAD.

ohhhh this is not good, NOT GOOD - - my camera and my phone, dead in the same week........

I HATE TECHNOLOGY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[CarlaB]

OMG.....(suppressing gag reflex)...Carla, did you ever see..the WHOLE THING? The whole worm that was inside you? Very Alien-like....

Do you really want to ask this???? No, it breaks .... you see pieces of it ... I never went "digging", but still saw about 7 feet of it. :gag-emoticon:

[Darn210]

And OMG - my digital camera, JUST A YEAR OLD, is permanently blurry (none of the camera experts could fix it)......

You did get all gussied up, right? Shower, hair, make-up? You didn't go in in your pajamas, did you? Or were all the "experts" gay men or straight women?

[Darn210]

OMG.....(suppressing gag reflex)...Carla, did you ever see..the WHOLE THING? The whole worm that was inside you? Very Alien-like....

Do you really want to ask this???? No, it breaks .... you see pieces of it ... I never went "digging", but still saw about 7 feet of it. :gag-emoticon:

Emily & Carla, would it be all right if I quote you in my green guy emoticon thread? It's about time to bump that topic back to the top and this is the perfect conversation to demonstrate how useful it would be.

[CarlaB]

Emily & Carla, would it be all right if I quote you in my green guy emoticon thread? It's about time to bump that topic back to the top and this is the perfect conversation to demonstrate how useful it would be.

:lol:

[Mtndog]

...Feels like angels are copulating on our tongue?

Ahh! Gawd, me too, Bev. PB is my one serious, and I do mean serious, weakness. I completely lose control. In my many years of overindulging in peanut butter, I now know that there are only two things that do not go with it: tomatoes and mushrooms. Yup, everything else tastes amazing with PB!

Peanut butter TRULY is the taste of angels copulating on your tongue!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Uhm...don't know about PB and salmon????? :ph34r: Uhm...if you TOOK shrooms maybe PB would be good with them :lol:

Oh, how quickly I am forgotten . . . before long, Carla's av will be of her and Bev . . . I will just have to comfort myself with the fact that I was her first.

Janet- Your new nickname is Slayer cause you are ALWAYS killing me!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh, we actually had something similar happen .... a hotel room had a bikini bottom in the dresser drawer and there was poop in it! We got a big discount on the room! What a pit! It was a family reunion and we didn't get to pick the hotel.

As my 4 year old niece would say, "OmGAWD that is So disgusting!"

*nervous laugh* ...ahem........

*sigh* BEV -----I 've told you before I'm not prepared to put up with your flatulance (GAD!! That room would be one BIG Dutch Oven )

Ahhhhh......Nikki- you gave away my secret!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Nikki said dutch oven...

Bev, I was not aware of your infamous gas issues. If we ever do meet, I'm taking dibs on the room where Bev ISN'T!! Dibs! Dibs!! I SAID IT FIRST!!

No I SWEAR I'm better now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Bev's former Native American name (before Sleeps through Christmas) was actually Farts like a machine gun

I'm sure she won't mind me telling!!

Farts LIKE MACHINE- no gun.OK- maybe. But the other people I was with were Cheats Like Ba&*ard, Smells Like Goat, Eats like Pig, oh it's a VERY long story involving a bus, 8 adults, 50 high school students, 7 weeks and a UHaul. :lol:

Bye Sillies,

Sickness has taken its toll and I am going home for the rest of the day.

Hope you feel better!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Mtndog]

Yuck. Oh, and they're not that wide ..... But they are LONG!

BLECH.......we need a GAG emoticon!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tis true, I am a neatnik.....

But enough wine, and I just might throw all caution to the wind.....

I would KILL to see Patti buzzed and throwing caution to the wind. Gas to PA $50, bottle of wine $35, flowers for patti $50. Seeing patti drunk and dancing on her kitchen table, PRICELESS

DEAR GAWD!!!!!!!!!I can't stop posting - the man flu has moved into my BRAIN!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh Nikki- it's MAN-FLU? I didn't know things were so serious.....I must come immediately.

Sorry that happened

I do have an idea--make a picture frame ("tile" an inexpensive, wide frame randomly with the broken pieces) and put a nice picture of your mom in it

OH gAWD- i am brain dead.......I thought she was suggesting making a frame with the tapeworm.

Oh my.... the tears are running down my cheek. How funny! That will "fix" me for at least a week!

Oh no.......Goosey got fixed!!!!!!!!!! :lol: :lol:

[Darn210]

:lol:

Is that a Yes?

[DingoGirl]

You did get all gussied up, right? Shower, hair, make-up? You didn't go in in your pajamas, did you? Or were all the "experts" gay men or straight women?

:lol:

I actually WAS showered, made up, flat-ironed the hair.....all of it. Put on my most powerful fragrance. Walked confidently and with enormous dignity and.....well, just enough bad-ass arrogance in my Frye boots to command some, um, respect (I guess? ha ha ha).

Saw a saleswoman looking at me from behind the counter........I quickly averted my gaze and walked to where the three men were standing, doing absolutely nothing.

Sheesh, I did my best, the bloody camera has.....who knows what. And...it's JUST OVER a year old......warranty no longer applicable.

BAH!!!!!!!!!!!!

Emily & Carla, would it be all right if I quote you in my green guy emoticon thread? It's about time to bump that topic back to the top and this is the perfect conversation to demonstrate how useful it would be.

:lol:

[CarlaB]

Is that a Yes?

I don't care ... tell the world I had a tapeworm ... I guess I already have!

[blueeyedmanda]

Hi everyone, popping in for a bit. My stomach is still ugh! I am thinking I got a hint of the tummy bug....not fun! John made me some homemade soup and brought me some kiwis. Now I am resting. I am hoping to go to work in the morning.

[jerseyangel]

Hi everyone, popping in for a bit. My stomach is still ugh! I am thinking I got a hint of the tummy bug....not fun! John made me some homemade soup and brought me some kiwis. Now I am resting. I am hoping to go to work in the morning.

I was worried about you! How sweet is John, making you homemade soup

[blueeyedmanda]

Yep, I always keep the Wegmans Chicken Culinary in the pantry. So he went to Wegmans and bought the fresh soup veggies already cut and cleaned in the bag, Glutano Taligate noodles, and perdue already cooked chicken. He made chicken soup.

I was happy.

Do you ever use the culinary stocks Patti?

[blueeyedmanda]

Night Night Sillies!

See ya in the morning Emily, my morning poster

[nikki-uk]

Lovely. You must check out McKenzie- Childs - - totally whimsical and crazy. I used to paint children's furniture, decades ago, in nearly their exact style (plagiarism) and sold it.

Yes, I will

I love Poole pottery - we visited the factory - could only afford 'slight seconds' dinner set ...cha-ching!!!!

Alas.......it made me SO sad...........I desperately want a clean, newer car..... don't see how this will happen.

Completely relate to this....we get a new car every 3 years......I couldn't care what make or model.....just over the moon at the sheer cleanness of it all ......although I would actually like a nippy little car that reared up like a pony ...and maybe neighed as you pulled away at the traffic lights

I never went "digging", but still saw about 7 feet of it. :gag-emoticon:

NEARGGGHHHH!!!!!!

7 FOOT!!!!!!!......that is one bad ass tape man!!!!!!!!

You did get all gussied up, right? Shower, hair, make-up? You didn't go in in your pajamas, did you? Or were all the "experts" gay men or straight women?

OMG!!!!!!! Gussied up ....*snort*.....WHAT'S THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Cheats Like Ba&*ard, Smells Like Goat, Eats like Pig

That would be me, hubby and coeliac son.

......but which one am I???????

I would KILL to see Patti buzzed and throwing caution to the wind. Gas to PA $50, bottle of wine $35, flowers for patti $50. Seeing patti drunk and dancing on her kitchen table, PRICELESS

You're NOT wrong!!!!!!

OH gAWD- i am brain dead.......I thought she was suggesting making a frame with the tapeworm.

Would it move and undulate????

ARGGGHHHH!!!!! ...<green guy>

Hi everyone, popping in for a bit. My stomach is still ugh! I am thinking I got a hint of the tummy bug....not fun! John made me some homemade soup and brought me some kiwis. Now I am resting. I am hoping to go to work in the morning.

Hey Amanda!!!

How you doing???

[blueeyedmanda]

Hi Nikki,

I am feeling better than I did. I am still feeling a little off stomach wise but I am eating some light foods. Hopefully things will be better today. I am back at work.

[elye]

Morning, Sillies!!

Great evening...we went to Mama Mia for the second time, only this time, MIL was with us. She sat rather stone-faced through most of it. Did not even notice her toe-tapping, or smiling with any type of abandon. Some bizarre, old-school puritan work ethic is woven far too deeply into her soul, I feel...

Emily & Carla, would it be all right if I quote you in my green guy emoticon thread? It's about time to bump that topic back to the top and this is the perfect conversation to demonstrate how useful it would be.

This is an excellent idea. Janet, you should open up a file and place therein any and all stomach-turning quotes from posts throughout this forum. Send said file to Scott after you have MANY pages. Just think of all the times we have seen a post-header warning, "Warning: graphic content", or "Sorry for this...quite gross"...

How will Scott be able to refuse us with a HUGE Revolting Content Sampling file?!

Farts LIKE MACHINE- no gun.OK- maybe. But the other people I was with were Cheats Like Ba&*ard, Smells Like Goat, Eats like Pig, oh it's a VERY long story involving a bus, 8 adults, 50 high school students, 7 weeks and a UHaul.

Bev....

You absolutely MUST elaborate.

Road trip of the century?!

I actually WAS showered, made up, flat-ironed the hair.....all of it. Put on my most powerful fragrance. Walked confidently and with enormous dignity and.....well, just enough bad-ass arrogance in my Frye boots to command some, um, respect (I guess? ha ha ha).

I know where your problem happened, Susie...you exhibited dignity. In this retail situation, one must act somewhat beaten. Not desparate, just at the end of one's rope, with all self-respect teetering...

Offering to sleep with one of the straight, male clerks could yield results quickly, as well...

[blueeyedmanda]

Emily I beat you this morning!

[Darn210]

OMG!!!!!!! Gussied up ....*snort*.....WHAT'S THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

From the word detective:

Open Original Shared Link

Hell's Bells.

Dear Word Detective: You have been so helpful in the past (and interesting and entertaining as well, I might add), that I was hoping you could shed some light on another of those annoying, seemingly random phrases we all use. The term is "with bells on," as could be used to say that you will be somewhere all "gussied up" and ready. Well, okay, I've now come up with two phrases I'd like help with. Any insights you could give will be appreciated. -- Mark Nandor, Columbus, OH.

Aw, shucks. Wasn't nothin', Mister. We New York City folks just love helping strangers, I guess. Say, wanna buy a bridge? It'd look right purty in downtown Columbus.

I glad to see that someone else finds "I'll be there with bells on" annoying. I don't know what it is about this phrase, meaning "definitely" or "emphatically," that pushes my buttons, but it does with a vengeance. You invite someone to your party, all you want is a simple "yes" or "no," and instead you're assaulted by an obnoxious mental image of some twit prancing around covered in bells. "With bells on" seems to date back to the 1930's, but unfortunately (or maybe fortunately) its origin is a mystery.

"Gussied up" is a horse of a different color, however, and I think its slightly sarcastic tone is just right for describing someone dressed to the nines. "Gussied up" is usually described as a native Americanism dating to the early 20th century. The "gussy," it is theorized, was actually a "gusset," a triangular piece of fabric sewn into a garment to make it fit better. Gussets were, in those days, typical of fancy clothes and, by extension, a fitting symbol of sartorial frippery.

The Oxford English Dictionary, however, proposes a different, and I think much more likely, origin of "gussied up." It turns out that "gussie" -- a diminutive of the name "Augustus" -- is Australian slang for an effeminate man, dating back to the early 1900's. It's easy to imagine a rich young dandy named "Gussie" incurring the contempt of turn-of-the-century Australians, so I vote for this theory. With, of course, bells on.

Now I posted this for Nikki . . . but it brings up a question. Emily, is your poodle boy, Gus, somewhat 'effeminate'?

[nikki-uk]

Gusset

...and effeminate poodles ......thanks Janet !!!!

[jerseyangel]

Do you ever use the culinary stocks Patti?

I've never tried it--I use Pacific Chicken Broth.

Good to see you're bck at work and feeling somewhat better

Morning, Sillies!!

Great evening...we went to Mama Mia for the second time, only this time, MIL was with us. She sat rather stone-faced through most of it. Did not even notice her toe-tapping, or smiling with any type of abandon. Some bizarre, old-school puritan work ethic is woven far too deeply into her soul, I feel...

Mornin' Emily

Sad that your MIL can't seem to enjoy herself. My mom is that way, actually.

[Darn210]

New Av . . .

We visited an Alpaca Farm whilst in Virginia. The owners could not have been any nicer. It was Christmas Eve afternoon. We were just hoping to stand at the fence and take a look. They took us into the pens/paddocks, let the kids hand feed them, and gave us quite a run down on what's involved in raising alpacas. They invited the kids in for apple cider and let them play with their new puppy and cats. We were there for 1 1/2 to 2 hours!!!

Their alpacas were very curious. Would get in your face to sniff you but if you reached out to try to pet them, they would scoot away . . . fast!

[blueeyedmanda]

Alpaca's are so neat, did you see any with two different colored eyes? It is strange, but I still love those animals....so cute and you're right, curious too!