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The Funny Pages - Tickle Me Elbow - The Original

TriticusToxicum

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elye Community Regular
elye
Posted
Just be sure you don't use heinosity in your normal emails, must remind my friends it's not a real word. :lol:

What on earth is the noun form of HEINOUS? Heinousness? Heinousation? Hmmmmm...

I love when dogs think you've thrown the stick!!

Nikki does have a point though . . . most of those firefighter have a job on the side and a lot of them do contract/construction type of work. I'm sure you could get one to lay a hardwood floor for you in exchange for sexal favoUrs.

Exactly, and then it would be sex with some meaning....you'd be meaning to get your floors fixed up--there you go!

Josie knows how to tell time. If someone (one of the kids) hasn't fed her by 8:00 am (and again by 6:00pm), then she stands in front of them and barks. She also knows when it's time for the school bus to come.

Gus is amazing this way, too. And I don't know how he knows when the mailman is coming, because the time does change day to day, but he'll start his mailman-coming bark about ten minutes before the guy is at our house. I think Gus smells him from blocks away with his very brown nose. :rolleyes:

Glad the Renaissance is comin' back, Tom!! :):)

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Green12 Enthusiast
Green12
Posted
......also, fairly sure a firefighter would be able to lay said wood :ph34r:

This statement strikes me as having multiple meanings....or at least two that come to mind :lol:

:ph34r:

Need a change?? ......a restyle???? :unsure: (I am thinking of it....but it's quite scary)

A total rehaul :lol: , and so true it is quite scary! Especially with curly hair, it's so unpredictable :lol:

I think maybe I just need a really good cut, it's hard to find someone though who understands how to speak the language of curly hair.

Yes, and today as well...already quite warm outside! :)

Sounds lovely, things have been on the mild side here lately....not too cold, but not exactly warm. At least it's been sunny and clear!

Josie knows how to tell time. If someone (one of the kids) hasn't fed her by 8:00 am (and again by 6:00pm), then she stands in front of them and barks. She also knows when it's time for the school bus to come.

That's a smart cookie of a dog you have :lol:

Gus is amazing this way, too. And I don't know how he knows when the mailman is coming, because the time does change day to day, but he'll start his mailman-coming bark about ten minutes before the guy is at our house. I think Gus smells him from blocks away with his very brown nose. :rolleyes:

My friend's dogs have that sense when their Daddy is several blocks away, they start to get real antsy and run around the house and then they go wait at the door, never fail 5 or 10 minutes later the garage goes up and he's home.

tom Contributor
tom
Posted

Oh what gorgeous day!

Was just out enjoying the Vietnamese Tet Parade!!! (Lunar New Year btw) Parade start point is just 2 blocks away, and the staging area extends to MY street!!

Kinda bummed that I *had* to come home to watch my U of Az Wildcats play the rival scumdevils in bball, BUT . ...the festival part will be all afternoon I think. :)

Wish I had a better camera on this ph. :(

InCREDible costumes of course. Dragons & floats & Warriors in shiny bright colors and, MOST curiously .. ... ..a score of .. ..is it Stormtroopers that have that white armor in Star Wars?? NOOOOOOO idea how THEY fit in rofl :lol:

blueeyedmanda Community Regular
blueeyedmanda
Posted

Oh Sillies no good news to report today....

John is very ill again with bronchitis.....

Landen the baby below is in the ER the Dr feels he may have RSV....which can be very bad for a small baby.

I just got back from the store so I can make him some homemade soup...John that is.

nikki-uk Enthusiast
nikki-uk
Posted
John is very ill again with bronchitis.....

:( Oh no...he's really not having a good run is he Amanda, hope he is on the mend soon.

Landen the baby below is in the ER the Dr feels he may have RSV....which can be very bad for a small baby.

One of my boys had this as a small baby & ended up in hospital.......the whole ward was full of babies with it!! :(

tom Contributor
tom
Posted

Whoa! Some wonderfully wAcKy avs!

Janet's painting Yeti shimmy-shake! :lol: :lol:

. .. . Sniffing butts, heavy flirting, lots of biffing and chasing, licking, romping......oh, and Annie had a good time, too!!!!!!!!!! :lol: :lol: (cracking self up)

:lol:

Gotta love enough mojo to get the self-crackups!

OMG - apparently I have got my mojo back, and with a vengeance

Yay!

Now

Don't

Let

Go

Of it!!!!!!!

I was just telling my dad this yesterday...how they should get a Wii at their retirement home. .. .

Grand idea!!

Just read yesterday about it being used for what they call Wii-habilitation from injuries.

I'm sad about my dad....anyone see the thread I started in testing/symptoms?

Will look asap.

. .. .

. .Stupid other intolerances :angry:

:angry: you 'n' me both, darlin' :angry:

Today we did find a duplex with both sides up for sale and a very cheap price!

Wow THAT was quick!!

~alex~ Explorer
~alex~
Posted

Arg!!! Totally frustrating day! My brother called me this morning and he sounded really sick -- said he had a cough and chest pain and said felt like he had a fever. I just saw him a couple days prior and he was healthy, although he did seem a bit tired. I went to his place to see him and his breathing was pretty laboured so I decided to take him to the ER. They did a chest Xray and thought it looked like "moderate" pneumonia so they prescribed some antibiotics and sent him on his way with directions to see his GP in a couple of days for a follow-up.

Medically, I don't think he needs to be in the hospital -- his O2 sat and all that stuff was good-- but he can sometimes have trouble taking care of himself even when healthy and I would have just felt better if he had been admitted. We're going to contact his wonderful social worker tomorrow to see if anything can be done, like visits from a the VON or something. (Um, my brother is a great guy who just has some troubling issues and has been in very deep depressions by time. We were able to get him a social worker a few years back when things were really bad for him and so she still checks in on him on occasion to make sure things are going well. I really don't want you to get the wrong idea about my brother -- he's a terrific guy -- just needs a little help by times.)

Anyway, I stayed with Colin this afternoon and our dad's going to stay overnight with him. Hopefully the social worker can help us get something set up tomorrow. Anyway, sorry for unloading all of this unfunniness on all of you. I guess I just needed to get it off my chest. I know it's not a huge deal it just upsets me to see him go through a possible setback when he'd been doing so well. :(

As a side note, Colin's dog would not leave his side all day and was curled up beside him in bed when I left his place a few hours ago. Dogs really just seem to know when their human needs a little extra love :). I honestly think that dog has been just as important as the medication in treating my brother's depressive episodes.

Everything was going just swimmingly and then my dad's accident and Colin getting sick . . . when it rains it pours I guess. This too shall pass, right???

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DingoGirl Enthusiast
DingoGirl
Posted
What on earth is the noun form of HEINOUS? Heinousness? Heinousation? Hmmmmm...

:lol: Well, that's why I made UP heinosity, 'tis the noun form of the word. V. useful. :lol: *snigger*

The outrageousness of the heinosity left a veritable pall over the whole parade. :lol:

I think maybe I just need a really good cut, it's hard to find someone though who understands how to speak the language of curly hair.

Julie, have you tried Ouidad products? They are said to be the absolute best for curly hair. Outrageously priced, of course. <_<

Um, I hesitate to ask, I am scared of the answer, but any news on that sad, cold, old dog across the street? Annie and I want him to come live wif us. :)

Oh Sillies no good news to report today....

John is very ill again with bronchitis.....

:( oh amanda, so sorry about John and that baby. Saying prayers.....

Yay!

Now

Don't

Let

Go

Of it!!!!!!!

:unsure: the mojo......a very fleeting, tentative thing. The harder one tries to hold onto it, the more it can just....slip through one's fingers. 'Tis a bit like a hummingbird.....when it decides to light on an object, well.......

I don't have any Deep Thoughts to complete this sentence. :blink:

I really don't want you to get the wrong idea about my brother -- he's a terrific guy -- just needs a little help by times.)

:) As do we all. He is so lucky to have you, your dad, and the social worker, AND his dog. And you are right, dogs are SO good for the mental health........I'd have been dead without mine, most likely.

And......I KNOW I"m not the queen........but I have a NEW EDICT AND PROCLAMATION: Sillies are NEVER, ever to apologize for venting about the sad news or serious issues of our lives. NEVER, do you all hear me???????????? Yes, this IS the silly thread, but, we do care about each other and are here to listen to eveyrthing - - the silly, the mundane, the absurd (oh we are SO good at the absurd!), :lol: , the good, bad, and ugly.

There now. I feel better. :)

Everything was going just swimmingly and then my dad's accident and Colin getting sick . . . when it rains it pours I guess. This too shall pass, right???

:) Yes, darlin, this too shall pass.

OMG - I've finished the carpets - - - YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :rolleyes: Sparkling clean and fresh here, my body is in enormous pain after this marathon shampooing, and now must return the vile machine to the store.

See you sillies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

BTW - my whole head is a hedgehog todya. :huh: v. v. v. bad hair. Going to the sah-lahn on Tuesday to ameliorate and kill the wee hoglets. ;)

blueeyedmanda Community Regular
blueeyedmanda
Posted
Arg!!! Totally frustrating day! My brother called me this morning and he sounded really sick -- said he had a cough and chest pain and said felt like he had a fever. I just saw him a couple days prior and he was healthy, although he did seem a bit tired. I went to his place to see him and his breathing was pretty laboured so I decided to take him to the ER. They did a chest Xray and thought it looked like "moderate" pneumonia so they prescribed some antibiotics and sent him on his way with directions to see his GP in a couple of days for a follow-up.

On our honeymoon, John got severe pneumonia, he was sent home with antibodtics. I cant spell. They also gave him prednisone, and that cleared it up. Hope he gets better soon.

. . . when it rains it pours I guess. This too shall pass, right???

Aint that right :) it will pass, my mom always said things happen in 3's. I am keeping you and your family in my thoughts

:( oh amanda, so sorry about John and that baby. Saying prayers.....

Aww thanks :)

elye Community Regular
elye
Posted
John is very ill again with bronchitis.....

Oh, Amanda! I'm so sorry to hear this. I'm thinking about you guys...maybe a mug of some hot liquid jello? ;):rolleyes:

I really don't want you to get the wrong idea about my brother -- he's a terrific guy -- just needs a little help by times.

My heart goes out to you, Alex. I think many of us have lovely, yet needy, relatives. As Susie said, he's lucky to have you...and a great dog! Thinking about you guys.....

So, watching the Grammys as I type. Rumour has it that MJ may be making an appearance. That could be why he appeared on me arse, guys...to commemorate the 25th anniversary of Thriller. You know, it makes sense...choosing an absolutely average, unknown Canadian woman, and emblazoning her bewtocks with a sign. This has the mark of MJ all over it...He just may mention my name in front of millions this evening. Mygawd, maybe there's a picture of this miraculous effigy to be flashed on the jumbotron. Gaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh....!! :lol::lol::lol:

blueeyedmanda Community Regular
blueeyedmanda
Posted

Sillies, I am going downstais to visit. Landen has RSV, hopefully he will not end up in the hospital. He was allowed to come home.

The wind is blowing very hard, I believe it feels we can lift up and land in OZ tonight...:)

I'll update you all when I come back upstairs.

Thanks for all your thoughts, I may have never met you guys but I have your support everyday and I love that. Thanks for always being here :)

happygirl Collaborator
happygirl
Posted

I haven't been around as much lately, and certainly can't catch up with everything, but wanted to say hi to all the sillies!!!! :D

Carry on....

DingoGirl Enthusiast
DingoGirl
Posted
You know, it makes sense...choosing an absolutely average, unknown Canadian woman, and emblazoning her bewtocks with a sign.

This sentence produced a HUGE guffaw and was worth at least 300 calories. :lol: I will watch for your arseuver on the programME this evening.

Sillies, I am going downstais to visit. Landen has RSV, hopefully he will not end up in the hospital. He was allowed to come home.

The wind is blowing very hard, I believe it feels we can lift up and land in OZ tonight...:)

I'll update you all when I come back upstairs.

Thanks for all your thoughts, I may have never met you guys but I have your support everyday and I love that. Thanks for always being here :)

:wub:

we love you...... 'tis a marvelous place, our silly home.

gotta eat!!!!!!!!!!!!

psawyer Proficient
psawyer
Posted
I haven't been around as much lately, and certainly can't catch up with everything, but wanted to say hi to all the sillies!!!! :D

Carry on....

Laura's back!

elye Community Regular
elye
Posted
Sillies, I am going downstais to visit. Landen has RSV, hopefully he will not end up in the hospital. He was allowed to come home.

Thanks for all your thoughts, I may have never met you guys but I have your support everyday and I love that. Thanks for always being here :)

Keep us posted, Amanda! You're the support system, so take care of yourself...try to get a good night's sleep... :)

tom Contributor
tom
Posted

I don't know what I missed w/ this arseuver word. I DO know it refers to Em's cheeky stigmata .. .but . .. .where'd the uver come from?? :huh::huh:

[uh-oh can't end w/ 'from'? Grrrrr .. . . where'd the uver originate?? :huh::huh: ]

Julie, have you tried Ouidad ....

Sounds like the patriarch of Nikki's cupboard ppl.

P.S. Amanda & Alex - so sorry about the non-silly trials you & yours are dealing w/.

May they all get better asap!!

P.P.S. Big day for zipper-pharts here today. . . .

blueeyedmanda Community Regular
blueeyedmanda
Posted
P.P.S. Big day for zipper-pharts here today. . . .

LOL! made me laugh tonight

Landen is smiling tonight and seems to have a little more energy. Jen does not have to work until Tuesday evening so if he is doing much better, she will go to work and he will stay with us. Instead of dragging him out in the cold to the babysitters.

John is not so well, hopefully in time.

The wind is still whipping my house.

Any word from Alex tonight?

nikki-uk Enthusiast
nikki-uk
Posted

Alex, hope your brother gets better soon :) ...he's lucky to have a sis like you to worry about him :)

So, watching the Grammys as I type. Rumour has it that MJ may be making an appearance. That could be why he appeared on me arse, guys...to commemorate the 25th anniversary of Thriller. You know, it makes sense...choosing an absolutely average, unknown Canadian woman, and emblazoning her bewtocks with a sign. This has the mark of MJ all over it...He just may mention my name in front of millions this evening. Mygawd, maybe there's a picture of this miraculous effigy to be flashed on the jumbotron. Gaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh....!! :lol::lol::lol:

I LOVE the musings of our average,unknown Canadian gal (AKA Emily)

...I noticed Amy was let out of rehab to do some songs by satellite.....or was it Richard let out of the Everyday mineral cult :blink: ...hard to tell

I haven't been around as much lately, and certainly can't catch up with everything, but wanted to say hi to all the sillies!!!! :D

Always good to have Laura pooping in :D

Sounds like the patriarch of Nikki's cupboard ppl.

:lol::lol: nice one Tom!!...yeah WTH's 'Ouidad'????????? :unsure:

Julie, I share your fear of getting my hair cut...as most don't realise that once it's dry it springs up to HALF the length than when it was wet :o ....and I can't cut me own hair :angry: ..... shall I fly out to do yours????

I am actually thinking of having it cut like Open Original Shared Link....but am VERY scared..........whatchall think??????????

blueeyedmanda Community Regular
blueeyedmanda
Posted

Morning Nikki

I hate getting my hair cut. I just got it highlighted and cut 3 weeks ago....it was layered which I do get done frequently. I did blonde and red highlights which was a big move for me....I am starting to like it now. The cut....I think the layers are all off, looks very strange, unlike a layer I ever did before. Then to top off the shock...the price tag!!! I almost felt my legs give way.

Anyway, was a cold walk from the parking lot to the building this morning, it is 4 outside but the windchill is down below zero somewhere.

John stayed home sick, yesterday at some point he turned the thermostat down since he was way too hot....well I finally figured it out at 4 am. It was 67 in our house, and like 10 below outside, plus the wind was blowing hard against the house, and we are an end unit. I woke up shivering...literally. Coldest night of the year, goofy John.

Emily where are you, I don't even see you peeking yet...I need the brain, I work today :):)

elye Community Regular
elye
Posted

Morning, all!

Ohhhh, it's cold here. Minus fifteen. Blechhhh....

[uh-oh can't end w/ 'from'? Grrrrr .. . . where'd the uver originate?? ]

I noticed the word in the hilarious site that Janet posted...an unofficial Canadian dictionary. Arseveur is likely from the East Coast boating communities, denoting one end of a canoe or rowboat ("that there's the end where the arse of hers goes. Mine goes up here")..... :lol:

P.P.S. Big day for zipper-pharts here today. . . .

Tom!! Did you chart them? Did they form a fascinating astrological symbol, something that coincides with certain planetary positions and yearly cycles? Could be in the shape of a hippopotamus, or gerbil. Maybe it could reveal to you your Totem, or Norse Rune.... :rolleyes::lol::lol:

I am actually thinking of having it cut like Open Original Shared Link....but am VERY scared..........whatchall think??????????

Nikki!! Love this style...Do it! :)

Darn210 Enthusiast
Darn210
Posted

OK, first of all . . . Hope everyone is feeling better. This includes all sillies, silly siblings, silly children, silly spouses, silly neighboUrs, silly parents, silly friends and silly pets. And Alex!!! for (oracle) Pete's sake, why shouldn't you get to be unsilly once in a while when the rest of us do it all the time?

Nikki - I love the Kylie Kut.

Here is the actual email I sent my daughter's teachers this morning (she has three):

My daughter is out for one more (and hopefully last) day. Could you please send any work home with her brother and we will get started catching up. Or for all you teachers that hate to see a preposition at the end of a sentence . . . We will get started with the up catching.

Now tell me that I have not been overly influenced by the lot of you.

elye Community Regular
elye
Posted
Or for all you teachers that hate to see a preposition at the end of a sentence . . . We will get started with the up catching.

Now tell me that I have not been overly influenced by the lot of you.

:lol::lol:

Oh!! I'm afraid I MUST, at this time, insert a mini (I promise) grammar lesson. This will make everyone feel a little better, perhaps less intimidated, by the dreaded preposition usage.

Janet, your original use of "up" in your note was correct, and needed no alteration. This is due to the fact that it was part of what we call a phrasal verb. These are maddening (at least, for second-language learners) verb forms that consist of a verb and one or more prepositions. Together they act as one word, a verb, and are treated as such grammatically. Sentences in English can correctly end with a verb, therefore they can end with a phrasal verb. There are hundreds of these in our idiom. You used catch up, Janet, meaning to get past work done. There's break off, carry out, do without, give up, look for, etcetera etcetera.

...And therefore, the beautiful quote of my all-time hero W. Churchill is in fact unnecessary. He could correctly have said, "Ending a sentence with a preposition is something that I shall not put up with", as "put up with" is a phrasal verb.

There you go! I'm sure you've all been racked with frustration and wonder at the world of phrasal verbs..... :lol::lol::rolleyes:

Jestgar Rising Star
Jestgar
Posted

For all you curly haired girls, there's a book called (I think) Curly Girl. My hairdresser, who is part of my commute group recommended it to the one woman with curly hair. It's apparently got some useful tips.

blueeyedmanda Community Regular
blueeyedmanda
Posted

So John is on his way back to the dr, his family dr, yesterday he was seen in our hospitals clinic. They gave him Cipro, which he started taking, now he has a rash going up his arms which is itchy and huge. He also feels floored as he describes it to me. So now he is off to the dr. Hope he gets better soon. I am really worrying about him.

DingoGirl Enthusiast
DingoGirl
Posted
P.P.S. Big day for zipper-pharts here today. . . .

:lol: lotsa rat-a-tats, eh? Forgot to mention - be sure you are able to discern the subtle but distinct differences of zipper farts vs. machine gun farts. :lol:

I LOVE the musings of our average,unknown Canadian gal (AKA Emily)

...I noticed Amy was let out of rehab to do some songs by satellite.....or was it Richard let out of the Everyday mineral cult :blink: ...hard to tell

:lol: :lol:

nikki - the haircut - -not sure. Kylie's hair is not as curly as yours, would you be fighting with it quite a bit to maintain this 'do? :unsure:

Tom!! Did you chart them? Did they form a fascinating astrological symbol, something that coincides with certain planetary positions and yearly cycles? Could be in the shape of a hippopotamus, or gerbil. Maybe it could reveal to you your Totem, or Norse Rune..

:lol:Norse runes....

My daughter is out for one more (and hopefully last) day. Could you please send any work home with her brother and we will get started catching up. Or for all you teachers that hate to see a preposition at the end of a sentence . . . We will get started with the up catching.

Now tell me that I have not been overly influenced by the lot of you.

:lol: :lol: :lol: oh dear gawd

There you go! I'm sure you've all been racked with frustration and wonder at the world of phrasal verbs.....

:rolleyes: not so much, but this little lecture made my heart pound a bit faster.....

OMG - the grammies (grammys?) - - what a wretched, class-less lot of rubbish....I am so disappointed, every year......um, people don't really even SING any more......they just.....talk.....w/ weird outfits on and stupid getups (Kanye's glasses/costume). Rap, my friends, if I may state a strong opinion, is the DEATH of a society, I have decided. Surely extinction is next for our species........ :huh: I watched half the programME and found no one w/ talent at all. Um.......why, please tell me WHY, is Rihanna famous.........that song.............dear gawd........her voice......You know why she's famous?????? I"ll tell you. Because she thinks she is "all that" and........sure as the stigmata on our Average Unknown Canadian woman's arseuver, that is the ONLY reason. :blink:

the only enjoyable moment for me was Keely Smith singing with - OMG - what's-his-name...Pam Anderson's second- or third-ex husband...that skanky thang w/ the long stringy hair.....

helpppppppppp meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

:lol:

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      how much gluten do I need to eat before blood tests?

      By trents · Posted

      So, essentially all of the nutrition in the food we eat is absorbed through the villous lining of the small bowel. This is the section of the intestinal track that is damaged by celiac disease. This villous lining is composed of billions of finger-like projections that create a huge amount of surface area for absorbing nutrients. For the celiac person, when gluten is consumed, it triggers an autoimmune reaction in this area which, of course, generates inflammation. The antibodies connected with this inflammation is what the celiac blood tests are designed to detect but this inflammation, over time, wears down the finger-like projections of the villous lining. Of course, when this proceeds for an extended period of time, greatly reduces the absorption efficiency of the villous lining and often results in many and various nutrient deficiency-related health issues. Classic examples would be osteoporosis and iron deficiency. But there are many more. Low D3 levels is a well-known celiac-caused nutritional deficiency. So is low B12. All the B vitamins in fact. Magnesium, zinc, etc.  Celiac disease can also cause liver inflammation. You mention elevated ALP levels. Elevated liver enzymes over a period of 13 years was what led to my celiac diagnosis. Within three months of going gluten free my liver enzymes normalized. I had elevated AST and ALT. The development of sensitivities to other food proteins is very common in the celiac population. Most common cross reactive foods are dairy and oats but eggs, soy and corn are also relatively common offenders. Lactose intolerance is also common in the celiac population because of damage to the SB lining.  Eggs when they are scrambled or fried give me a gut ache. But when I poach them, they do not. The steam and heat of poaching causes a hydrolysis process that alters the protein in the egg. They don't bother me in baked goods either so I assume the same process is at work. I bought a plastic poacher on Amazon to make poaching very easy. All this to say that many of the issues you describe could be caused by celiac disease. 
    • catnapt
      how much gluten do I need to eat before blood tests?

      By catnapt · Posted

      thank you so much for your detailed and extremely helpful reply!! I can say with absolute certainty that the less gluten containing products I've eaten over the past several years, the better I've felt.   I wasn't avoiding gluten, I was avoiding refined grains (and most processed foods) as well as anything that made me feel bad when I ate it. It's the same reason I gave up dairy and eggs- they make me feel ill.  I do have a bit of a sugar addiction lol so a lot of times I wasn't sure if it was the refined grains that I was eating - or the sugar. So from time to time I might have a cookie or something but I've learned how to make wonderful cookies and golden brownies with BEANS!! and no refined sugar - I use date paste instead. Pizza made me so ill- but I thought it was probably the cheese. I gave up pizza and haven't missed it. the one time I tried a slice I felt so bad I knew I'd never touch it again. I stopped eating wheat pasta at least 3 yrs ago- just didn't feel well after eating it. I tried chick pea pasta and a few others and discovered I like the brown rice pasta. I still don't eat a lot of pasta but it's nice for a change when I want something easy. TBH over the years I've wondered sometimes if I might be gluten intolerant but really believed it was not possible for me to have celiac disease. NOW I need to know for sure- because I'm in the middle of a long process of trying to find out why I have a high parathyroid level (NOT the thyroid- but rather the 4 glands that control the calcium balance in your body) I have had a hard time getting my vit D level up, my serum calcium has run on the low side of normal for many years... and now I am losing calcium from my bones and excreting it in my urine (some sort of renal calcium leak) Also have a high ALP since 2014. And now rapidly worsening bone density.  I still do not have a firm diagnosis. Could be secondary HPT (but secondary to what? we need to know) It could be early primary HPT. I am spilling calcium in my urine but is that caused by the high parathyroid hormone or is it the reason my PTH is high>? there are multiple feedback loops for this condition.    so I will keep eating the bread and some wheat germ that does not seem to bother me too much (it hasn't got enough gluten to use just wheat germ)    but I'm curious- if you don't have a strong reaction to a product- like me and wheat germ- does that mean it's ok to eat or is it still causing harm even if you don't have any obvious symptoms? I guess what you are saying about silent celiac makes it likely that you can have no symptoms and still have the harm... but geez! you'd think they'd come up with a way to test for this that didn't require you to consume something that makes you sick! I worry about the complications I've been reading about- different kinds of cancers etc. also wondering- are there degrees of celiac disease?  is there any correlation between symptoms and the amnt of damage to your intestines? I also need a firm diagnosis because I have an identical twin sister ... so if I have celiac, she has it too- or at least the genetic make up for having it. I did have a VERY major stress to my body in 2014-2016 time frame .. lost 50lbs in a short period of time and had severe symptoms from acute protracted withdrawal off an SSRI drug (that I'd been given an unethically high dose of, by a dr who has since lost his license)  Going off the drug was a good thing and in many ways my health improved dramatically- just losing 50lbs was helpful but I also went  off almost a dozen different medications, totally changed my diet and have been doing pretty well except for the past 3-4 yrs when the symptoms related to the parathyroid issue cropped up. It is likely that I had low vit D for some time and that caused me a lot of symptoms. The endo now tells me that low vit D can be caused by celiac disease so I need to know for sure! thank you for all that great and useful information!!! 
    • trents
      how much gluten do I need to eat before blood tests?

      By trents · Posted

      Welcome, @catnapt! The most recent guidelines are the daily consumption of a minimum of 10g of gluten (about the amount found in 4-6 slices of wheat bread) for a minimum of two weeks. But if possible stretching that out even more would enhance the chances of getting valid test results. These guidelines are for those who have been eating gluten free for a significant amount of time. It's called the "gluten challenge".  Yes, you can develop celiac disease at any stage of life. There is a genetic component but also a stress trigger that is needed to activate the celiac genes. About 30-40% of the general population possesses the genetic potential to develop celiac disease but only about 1% of the general population actually develop celiac disease. For most with the potential, the triggering stress event doesn't happen. It can be many things but often it is a viral infection. Having said that, it is also the case that many, many people who eventually are diagnosed with celiac disease probably experienced the actual onset years before. Many celiacs are of the "silent" type, meaning that symptoms are largely missing or very minor and get overlooked until damage to the small bowel lining becomes advanced or they develop iron deficiency anemia or some other medical problem associated with celiac disease. Many, many are never diagnosed or are diagnosed later in life because they did not experience classic symptoms. And many physicians are only looking for classic symptoms. We now know that there are over 200 symptoms/medical problems associated with celiac disease but many docs are only looking for things like boating, gas, diarrhea. I certainly understand your concerns about not wanting to damage your body by taking on a gluten challenge. Your other option is to totally commit to gluten free eating and see if your symptoms improve. It can take two years or more for complete healing of the small bowel lining once going gluten free but usually people experience significant improvement well before then. If their is significant improvement in your symptoms when going seriously gluten free, then you likely have your answer. You would either have celiac disease or NCGS (Non Celiac Gluten Sensitivity).
    • catnapt
      how much gluten do I need to eat before blood tests?

      By catnapt · Posted

      after several years of issues with a para-gland issue, my endo has decided it's a good idea for me to be tested for celiac disease. I am 70 yrs old and stunned to learn that you can get celiac this late in life. I have just gradually stopped eating most foods that contain gluten over the past several years- they just make me feel ill- although I attributed it to other things like bread spiking blood sugar- or to the things I ate *with* the bread or crackers etc   I went to a party in Nov and ate a LOT of a vegan roast made with vital wheat gluten- as well as stuffing, rolls and pie crust... and OMG I was so sick! the pain, the bloating, the gas, the nausea... I didn't think it would ever end (but it did) and I was ready to go the ER but it finally subsided.   I mentioned this to my endo and now she wants me to be tested for celiac after 2 weeks of being on gluten foods. She has kind of flip flopped on how much gluten I should eat, telling me that if the symptoms are severe I can stop. I am eating 2-3 thin slices of bread per day (or english muffins) and wow- it does make me feel awful. But not as bad as when I ate that massive amnt of vital wheat gluten. so I will continue on if I have to... but what bothers me is - if it IS celiac, it seems stupid for lack of a better word, to intentionally cause more damage to my body... but I am also worried, on the other hand, that this is not a long enough challenge to make the blood work results valid.   can you give me any insight into this please?   thank you
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