The Funny Pages - Tickle Me Elbow - The Original

[tom]

But of course... ...You Jackass!!!!!

<hammerhead>

[nikki-uk]

Nikki, I think I'd be interested in seeing your next massive, carbuncle-type blister in your av - - see if it's Guinness Book material... ...

Let ya know next time I have to walk anywhere....it always ends up with blistering barnacles!!!

WHAT BOOBY POEM? What in hell has passed me by? Is it in iambic pentametre? Is it, at the very least, in haiku form?

Maybe

Can't post...sumwun might phind it oh-fen-sieve

I'm a cryer in real life, so be warned--I'll probably start blubbering

me wanna come (whiney voice)

I think I would cry as well Patteigh!!!

Jess!!

Goil surgery????......UGH!! ....HEINOUS

OMG!!! Has the gauntlet been thrown down between Gian-knit and The Q ................hold TIGHT!!!!!!!!!

[jerseyangel]

Gian-knit

Of all the phunny name spellings, this is the one that always makes me laugh

[Darn210]

OMG!!! Has the gauntlet been thrown down between Gian-knit and The Q ................hold TIGHT!!!!!!!!!

Hmmmmm . . . and it seems that I'm the underdog . . . you guys do know that I've probably got 30 to 40 pounds on her, right???? Plus, I grew up with three brothers . . . one of which was . . . mean . . . do need to phashun me some kind of shield, though, for the muffins . . . oooh, oooh . . . we made catapults with the cubscouts a couple of months ago. I'll just build me a bigger version of one of them, collect the incoming projectiles muffins and fire them back at her!!!

[elye]

. . . do need to phashun me some kind of shield, though, for the muffins . . .

OMG!!!.. ........There, we have it!! The way we can use Sophie's $320.00 goalie pads in the off-season!! I'm shippin' them down to ya as we speak, Gyan-knitt!

[tom]

I'm not quite understanding how a mismatch of a bake-off morphed into a weapon-laden rumble.

I'd like to propose disallowing Iroquois skull-crushers, maces, muffin-pults etc & going w/ some old-fashioned bikini'd oil-wrestling???

[Darn210]

OMG!!!.. ........There, we have it!! The way we can use Sophie's $320.00 goalie pads in the off-season!! I'm shippin' them down to ya as we speak, Gyan-knitt!

Poifect!!! Can I borrow her helmet, too??

[Darn210]

I'm not quite understanding how a mismatch of a bake-off morphed into a weapon-laden rumble.

I'd like to propose disallowing Iroquois skull-crushers, maces, muffin-pults etc & going w/ some old-fashioned bikini'd oil-wrestling???

Anybody here actually surprised by this comment from Tom??? . . . <tom, believe me, nobody wants to see me in a bikini. >

[tom]

OMG!!!.. ........There, we have it!! The way we can use Sophie's $320.00 goalie pads in the off-season!!

:lol:

(That Em . . .alllllllllllllllways thinkin'!)

[DingoGirl]

Susie can boomerang a projectile muffin at my head!

:lol: Ready and willing!

Anniversaries!!!!!!!! and look where we all are!

Our lovely Paddeigh, always gentle and supportive (until we corrupted her ) and our spirited, sassy Bev, getting better <and phunnier> all the time!!!!!!!!!!! yay!

Hmmmmm . . . and it seems that I'm the underdog . . . you guys do know that I've probably got 30 to 40 pounds on her, right???? Plus, I grew up with three brothers . . . one of which was . . . mean . . . do need to phashun me some kind of shield, though, for the muffins . . . oooh, oooh . . . we made catapults with the cubscouts a couple of months ago. I'll just build me a bigger version of one of them, collect the incoming projectiles muffins and fire them back at her!!!

she said phashun

Um, I think I can gah-ran-tee that you DON"T got no 30 to 40 pounds on me, girlfriend........

I'm not quite understanding how a mismatch of a bake-off morphed into a weapon-laden rumble.

I'd like to propose disallowing Iroquois skull-crushers, maces, muffin-pults etc & going w/ some old-fashioned bikini'd oil-wrestling???

OH DEAR GAWD! no one wants to see ME in a bikini, either.

better idea!!!!!!! we'll have a contest. We can each make our specialties. Gian-knnitt brings baked goods. I'll make mojitos. We'll eat cupcakes and drink rum-laden beverages until we puke. That's our contest. :lol:

Gah!!!!!! where has the day gone?????????????????????????

must get quite busy now - figger out what to do tonight

[Mtndog]

Oh Ptaum- You gave us flowers!!!!!!!!! :wub: Ironically, I think that's a picture of TICKWEED :lol: I planted it in my garden this year as a joke- but hey, they're pretty!

I am so going to find some glitter body paint. What a great idea!

I'd be sure and paint arrows if I were you! label it like "Here! Not over there!" I wanted to do that when I had my gall bladder out cuz you always hear those stories.

Hey, Patti, that's okay - - it'll be an appropriately Silly thing to do... ....

Yes- and quite in line with our phluid onslut onslaught. :wub:

Anybody here actually surprised by this comment from Tom??? . . . <tom, believe me, nobody wants to see me in a bikini. >

I gotta admit- I was thinking (bikinis or not) you two should just duke it out in a mud box!

Uncle ray (who I will see tomorrow at a family pah-tay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) sends this:

Grandma and Grandpa were visiting their kids overnight. When Grandpa found a bottle of Viagra in his son's medicine cabinet, he asked about using one of the pills.

The son said, 'I don't think you should take one Dad; they're very strong and very expensive.'

'How much?' asked Grandpa. '$10.00 a pill,' Answered the son.

'I don't care,' said Grandpa, 'I'd still like to try one, and before we leave in the morning, I'll put the money under the pillow.'

Later the next morning, the son found $110.00 under the pillow. He called Grandpa and said, 'I told you each pill was $10.00, not $110.00. 'I know,' said Grandpa. 'The hundred is from Grandma!'

[jerseyangel]

Anybody here actually surprised by this comment from Tom??? . . .

Well, he is a guy, after all

Pataghum, the flowers are be-u-te-ful!!!

What a sweetie you are!

[jerseyangel]

'The hundred is from Grandma!'

[Mtndog]

Uncle Ray strikes again: (my apologies to all the blondes- Uncle ray knows no boundaries

Bambi, a blonde in her fourth year as a UCLA Freshman, sat in her US

Government class. The professor asked Bambi if she knew what

Roe vs. Wade was about.

Bambi pondered the question; then, finally, said, 'That was the decision

George Washington had to make before he crossed the Delaware .'

[elye]

Whoa......funny stuff happening wif me phone line... ..dunno if this'll post or not. Could be outta the loop for the weekend.

Who said bikinis? Gaaaaaahhhhhhhhh.......

[psawyer]

Emily, it posted all right. I'm not sure about people of a certain age wearing bikinis. Of course, I personally would never be seen in one. I totally lack cleavage and am really completely flat in that department.

Something on the upside, but not silly. Jennifer has joined the team at our business and it looks like it will work well for all of us. She has a day job, but will work some evenings and weekends We are still looking urgently for another team member.

The $100 is from Grandma!

Amanda is getting some time away from work. Hooray!

[Ridgewalker]

Hey everybody! Just pooping in so nobody thinks I died. Good stuff and bad stuff to report...

End of school year stuff, several b-day parties,etc... Despite constant absences, Lucas passed 1st grade with flying colors, and Ezra's preschool teachers said he should do great in Kindergarten. I've got to get Ezra's graduation pic scanned so I can put it up as my av. What's cuter than a 5 year old in a cap and gown?!

We've been having lots of outside time, and art projects, and cookouts with the grandparents. Less than a week since school ended here, and we are LOVING summer vacation!!!

I still haven't put Luke on a probiotic yet, but the fiber supplements seem to be helping him!

I've been spending a lot of time with my friend I told you about, who's going through the bad divorce. I've known both of them for almost 10 years, and I cannot believe what a complete ass her husband has turned into. He just never grew up.

Oh, and the state is supposedly taking over maintenance of our road- which has always been a private road. And they've sent us all letters demanding nonsense-type work be done on everyone's front yards and driveways. It's a royal pain! And it got up to 100 degrees today-- not fun weather to heaving rocks out of a drainage ditch. So we're doing all this so that they'll repair any future potholes in our perfect-condition road, and plow the snow that we never get, because it's NC. Whatever.

The big thing that's going on right now has to do with my mom. Honestly, I'm really worried. She has a growth on her leg, and there's kind of a strong chance that it's cancer.

It's been there for a couple years, slowly growing. I nagged her into getting it biopsied about two years ago, and when she called for the results, the receptionist told her they came back normal. But it kept growing. So mom had our family doc look at it again, and she was horrified to see how big it has grown- the size of a silver dollar now.

So our doc looked back through the file at the biopsy results, and said that it was precancerous. Two years have gone by. It may have become cancerous by now, or maybe not. If it is cancerous, we don't know what type yet. I went with her to a surgeon Thursday, and he took another biopsy. It's going to be another week before we find out.

I'd love any prayers and/or positive thoughts you all could send her way! My mom's such a strong person, and I believe in my heart that no matter what it turns out to be, it will be manageable. But I am still worried. We are as close as a mother and daughter could be.

I missed the 1000th page rollover! I'll try to not be such a slacker.

[nikki-uk]

There's SARAH!!!!!!!!!

Sending positive thoughts for your Mum.....do let us know - it must be very worrying for you

Glad you & the boys are having phun!!

EMILY!!!!!!!...come back!!!....don't fall into the forumless abyss!!!!!!!!!!!

I've got to drop kids off at clubs (I am a glorified taxi) then stock up on food as we are going to Scotland on Monday (leaving eldest son at home ....I've got to write a list of 'to do' and NOT 'to do' for him )

Busy, busy back later pholks

[elye]

Morning, everyone!

It's all okay phone-line wise.....huh, very odd......last night our phone line kept cutting in and out, would become very static-ey and then would be silent....then back on but a faint static...then a constant busy signal (?).....now 'tis poifect.

Was SO looking forward to dealing with my best friends over at the Bell Canada behemoth....NOT. So, I'll keep me fingers crossed.

Sarah, I am thinking and praying for you and your mom. The waiting is always SO tough.. ...but we've seen how strong you are, and I bet you get it from your mom.

Sounds like you're having a terrific summer wif yer kids!

I'll be back, barring static... ... ...

[Jestgar]

So we have Tom in a bikini (monokini?) Sarah's mom growing silver dollars, Uncle Ray walking around with elderly blondes (with big smiles) and gluten-free projectiles flying overhead whilst everyone cowers under goalie pads. Did I get it all?

I'd be sure and paint arrows if I were you! label it like "Here! Not over there!" I wanted to do that when I had my gall bladder out cuz you always hear those stories.

For my first knee surgery I wrote "Not this one" on my contralateral other knee. I believe I was talked about for weeks.

I have no iron in my body (ferritin is 2, normal is about 100). Brain doesn't function, and for some strange reason, when my brain isn't working right I lose the small words, but can still use the big ones. And I can't follow a thought or concentrate. Nigh on impossible to do my job this week. I do a lot of stuff that requires focus and remembering what you've done until you've finished and can write it down.

Great visit with the gyn. She (of course it's a she) looked at my bloodwork and said "Can you even get up in the morning?" Amazing how nice validation is. The derm saw the same bloodwork two weeks earlier and his only comment was "You've now got the record for the lowest ferritin I've ever seen."

Anyway, got some prescription iron. Was promised improved brain activity in two weeks. Now I have to tell my boss that I need 6 weeks off. Fortunately I'm too tired to even care.

Can I get one of those goalie pads to nap on?

[jerseyangel]

Sarah!!!! There you are

You better know that I'll say a prayer for your mom! Yes, the waiting is so hard....

Good news about the boys--glad you can be there for your friend

Road stuff=heinous

Take care, we're always thinking about you

[Darn210]

Sarah!!! So glad you could poop in . . . prayers and hugs for you and yer mum . . . we were gettin' ready to send out a search party for you.

For my first knee surgery I wrote "Not this one" on my contralateral other knee. I believe I was talked about for weeks.

Well, I say give 'em somethin' else to talk about . . . just takin' a guess as to where they are headin' with the hints (6 weeks off, low iron, hanus goil surgery) . . . use your glitter body paint to write, "This uterus, not my other one" . . . Positive energy headed your way, too, Jess!! . . . and I suppose that Susie and I can put off our rumble until you no longer need the napping goalie pads.

I am child free for a couple of hours . . . yipeeeeee!!! . . . hubby took the kids to the museum ('tis a thunderstormy day today - we're ASSuming baseball will be cancelled).

[jerseyangel]

Ugh....I did it again. Yesterday I decided to treat myself to some homemade popcorn and a Boylan natural soda. I've been on the grainless, sugarless Edna for 5-6 weeks now and thought what the hell--one day won't make a difference.

Well, as far as the weight loss maybe, but I spent all last evening and most of the night nauseous and having terrible anxiety. At one point, my heart was beating so fast that I scared meself. Plus, I virtually never vomit--but I came thisclose last night.

I seriously think that the corn did this--it was one of the foods that the Kinesiologist said I should not eat ever.....of course, so what do I crave?

Feeling better this morning--but wrung out.....

Gawd

[Jestgar]

Bummer Patti. I, too, had corn one day. It was enough to convince me not to do it again (well, until the next time I do it again).

At least you can be sure that (most of the time) you are doing really great things for your body.

[jerseyangel]

Bummer Patti. I, too, had corn one day. It was enough to convince me not to do it again (well, until the next time I do it again).

At least you can be sure that (most of the time) you are doing really great things for your body.

Yeah--tis true