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The Funny Pages - Tickle Me Elbow - The Original

TriticusToxicum

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jerseyangel Proficient
jerseyangel
Posted
It's hard, and I'm mourning a lot of things right now, but...... despite being sick as a dog, this has been a decent day. :)

Yep Sarah--you'll get to the point where you are getting decent days here and there, then more often and after that they'll start to string together. :)

You are strong--and smart--and you will get to the other side of all this. Hope the storm isn't too hard on you guys down there.

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Judyin Philly Enthusiast
Judyin Philly
Posted
:lol: OMG you poor thing!! From the way you describe him, I woulda been verklempt, too! :P

:lol: just loved this ......thanks.......love verklempt.....but i'll never be able to remember how to spell it :lol:

Oh my GAWD Sarah- that ROCKS!!!!!!!!! Not only are you looking at other men, but you're looking at YUMMY other men! I'm just glad he wasn't your ob/gyn or proctologist ;)

Yeah.......Sarah is LOOKING :blink:

Good to hear that there is some life left in you Sarah....there's hope! ;) There is always room to appreciate the finer things in life.

YEP FOR SURE

Amanda! It'll happen when yer at yer busiest and when you least expect it.... . .. .like when you're tackling a newly-bought home........ ;):)

YEP-- LIFE HAPPENS WHEN VERY BUSY LIVING IT ;)

Haven't thought about that in years :lol:

:lol:

Due to Tropical Storm Hanna the beach trip for this weekend has been postponed.

Glad u'r staying home and safe and maybe 'baby making' for your this weekend.

Hehe, I have to admit, I never did have a problem LOOKING at the "menu." But this one was swoon-worthy. And NICE. And no ring. Can't help but be uplifted there...

The selfish cruelty, the heartlessness... that now finally, in an odd way, the worse he gets, the more I'm able to be glad I'm away from him. It would have come out one way or another eventually, I guess.

BTW, if I disappear for awhile, it's just Hanna. The rain kills the internet connection here. My parents have that Wild Blue satellite, and it stinks.

glad your looking at the menue.......it's a good sign and happy you are more comfortable with being glad to be 'away from him' hard that it is.

Good luck during the storm. write when you can.

hugs all

Judy

Jestgar Rising Star
Jestgar
Posted

sigh

The chorale group I sing with is having a welcome reception. I asked what they were serving.

Pasta with Chicken - basil/garlic oil - olive oil garlic - parmesan cheese

Pasta Primavera with veggies, Broccoli - Pine nuts - sun dried tomatoes

Salads (lots of salads), dessert, pies, apple crisp, cakes, drinks

I'm thinking I'll being filling up on pop...

Mtndog Collaborator
Mtndog
Posted
Hehe, I have to admit, I never did have a problem LOOKING at the "menu." But this one was swoon-worthy. And NICE. And no ring. Can't help but be uplifted there...

I keep thinking about an email Lisa (H) sent me- and I promise I'm going to write back- but... maybe this can be a fresh start for me, and the boys, too.

It's hard, and I'm mourning a lot of things right now, but...... despite being sick as a dog, this has been a decent day. :)

BTW, if I disappear for awhile, it's just Hanna. The rain kills the internet connection here. My parents have that Wild Blue satellite, and it stinks.

That's how it starts- two steps forward, one step back. Cant ask for much more (although Emily would ask for a speculum-holding Matthew McConaughey look alike :P). It's hard to phathom all that has happened, but you're right- it is a new beginning. :wub: :wub:

Well, I applied for a job today :ph34r: Not teaching (not consistent enough) but doing something fun. At Halloween, the town next to us (Salem, MA) goes crazy so I applied to be a tour guide at

Open Original Shared Link

Does this sound like me or what?

Guilt! Greed! Revenge! Enter the world of Nathaniel Hawthorne's burdened characters from his classic The House of the Seven Gables, as they haunt the hallways of their eerie mansion. Witness two families entangled in a curse as Matthew Maule condemns Colonel Pyncheon with the very words destined to become his fate and follow his family for nearly 150 years; "God will give you blood to drink!" Travel through this house at your own risk, for as long as there is a Pyncheon descendant inside, only darkness and death will fill its walls. :ph34r: :ph34r: :ph34r:

Mtndog Collaborator
Mtndog
Posted

Aww Jess. Maybe this will cheer you up:

: Halloween Costume

A bald man with a wooden leg gets invited to a Halloween party.

He doesn't know what costume to wear to hide his head and his leg

so he writes to a costume company to explain his problem.

A few days later he received a parcel with the following note:

Dear Sir,

Please find enclosed a pirate's outfit. The spotted handkerchief will

cover your bald head and, with your wooden leg, you will be just right

as a pirate.

Very truly yours,

Acme Costume Co.

The man thinks this is terrible because they have emphasized his wooden

leg and so he writes a letter of complaint. A week goes by and he

receives another parcel and a note, which says:

Dear Sir,

Please find enclosed a monk's costume. The long robe will cover your

wooden leg and, with your bald head, you will really look the part.

Very truly yours,

Acme Costume Co.

Now the man is really upset since they have gone from emphasizing his

wooden leg to emphasizing his bald head so again he writes the company

another nasty letter of complaint. The next day he gets a small parcel

and a note, which reads:

Dear Sir,

We have TRIED our very BEST .

Please find enclosed a bottle of molasses and a bag of crushed nuts.

Pour the molasses over your bald head, pat on crushed nuts, stick your

wooden leg up your arse and go as a caramel apple.

Very truly yours,

Acme Costume Co

elye Community Regular
elye
Posted

Oh, Sarah!! :):)

This is wonderful, that you're turning a bit of a corner, slowly but surely.... .. . ...having ONE day that wasn't agonizing, then another that's decent...... . .. little by little....... :)

Such a strong, amazing woman we have in our midst!

You amaze us all, Sarah. :wub:

Love and hugs!!

Darn210 Enthusiast
Darn210
Posted
Well, I applied for a job today :ph34r: Not teaching (not consistent enough) but doing something fun. At Halloween, the town next to us (Salem, MA) goes crazy so I applied to be a tour guide at

Open Original Shared Link

Does this sound like me or what?

Guilt! Greed! Revenge! Enter the world of Nathaniel Hawthorne's burdened characters from his classic The House of the Seven Gables, as they haunt the hallways of their eerie mansion. Witness two families entangled in a curse as Matthew Maule condemns Colonel Pyncheon with the very words destined to become his fate and follow his family for nearly 150 years; "God will give you blood to drink!" Travel through this house with Bev as your guide at your own risk, for as long as there is a Pyncheon descendant inside, only darkness and death will fill its walls. :ph34r: :ph34r: :ph34r:

Yep, that sounds like you all right!! Let me know if you get it and my next visit to my friend's house, will come take yer tour . . . :lol:

OK . . . I have a confession . . . I got a job . . . besides the temporary Queen gig, that is. Tuesday is my first day. I'm working at a preschool from 8:30 to 1:00 on Tuesdays and Thursdays. The pay is crap but the hours are great and whenever my kids are off, I'm off too.

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elye Community Regular
elye
Posted

Bev! This sounds fantastic! A scary tour guide! You'll be terrifying! ;):lol:

Jestgar Rising Star
Jestgar
Posted
Does this sound like me or what?

Guilt! Greed! Revenge! Enter the world of Nathaniel Hawthorne's burdened characters from his classic The House of the Seven Gables, as they haunt the hallways of their eerie mansion. Witness two families entangled in a curse as Matthew Maule condemns Colonel Pyncheon with the very words destined to become his fate and follow his family for nearly 150 years; "God will give you blood to drink!" Travel through this house at your own risk, for as long as there is a Pyncheon descendant inside, only darkness and death will fill its walls. :ph34r: :ph34r: :ph34r:

I'll send you a dollar for every time you work 'yeti', 'anal glands' or 'kangaroo scrotum' into your tour.

curlyfries Contributor
curlyfries
Posted
Yes!! Someone ELSE is scarier than I! Think we may be in trouble..... . . . I sense a true closing in of the ranks..... .. . ... :rolleyes:

:D:D:D

Sarah, you need to tell me the evildoer's name. I'm gonna do a voodoo hex! Make his penis fall off. Or just become horribly diseased.

Yikes!......Bunnie Bobbit! :unsure:

Here's my favorite new joke as told to me by my 4 YO daughter. What do you call cheese that does not belong to you? NACHO cheese! :lol: :lol:

What did the fish say when he ran into the concrete wall?...........DAM!!!

Nothing we do will ever match! It's perfect!

There ya go.........goes right along with all the psillie mismatched shoes!

He took my vitals, and when he got to my pulse, he said, very concernedly, that it was really fast. I couldn't help it. A hoarse little snicker popped out before I could stop it. Oh well.

Sarah!.........that's hee-lair-e-us!!!

Ohhh! Au contraire............. . . .....I think having a clean-cut Matthew, speculum in hand, holding cervical office may just make it all bearable! :lol:

I don't know.............can a va-jay-jay blush???? :ph34r:

the resident on the floor where I was was a guy I went to high school with :o Gawd.....

Reminds me of the internal ultrasound I had last year. I recognized the girl who was doing it as an old friend from middle school. That's just........weird. I didn't say anything until it was over. Just didn't seem right to be renewing old acquaintances while she's sticking that thing up my nethers. :unsure:......sorry guys

I keep thinking about an email Lisa (H) sent me- and I promise I'm going to write back-

:wub:

Hanna needs to check herself........interfering in psilly lives...........she don't know who she's messin wif! <_<

Jestgar Rising Star
Jestgar
Posted
I'm working at a preschool from 8:30 to 1:00 on Tuesdays and Thursdays. The pay is crap but the hours are great and whenever my kids are off, I'm off too.

:huh:

You're trading your child-free hours to spend time with more children :blink:

ya, I woulda been a great parent...

Mtndog Collaborator
Mtndog
Posted
I'll send you a dollar for every time you work 'yeti', 'anal glands' or 'kangaroo scrotum' into your tour.

Well, I may as well start practicing. Nathaniel Hawthorne's complete works:

The Scarlet Yeti

House of the Seven anal Glands

Young Goodman Kangaroo Scrotum

:P

Green12 Enthusiast
Green12
Posted

Um, I've been sucked into another vortex...FACEBOOK, spent practically all day there trying to figure it out. Didn't mean to neglect the phorum and me Sillies!!!! :lol:

and with it brought a very unwelcome phluid that I hate...and another disappointment knowing that it means no family start this month......

:( I'm sorry Amanda. It's going to happen one day, I just know it! In the meantime, keep practicing ;):lol:

OMG--I gotta go in a minute and get dinner but when Matt was born (24 years ago yesterday), the resident on the floor where I was was a guy I went to high school with :o

Oh gawd Patti, what are the odds?

Sigh... I was thinking last night, how my feelings have evolved over the past three weeks. At first I was just so horribly shocked and wounded, I kept thinking, "I can't do this, I'll never be able to get through this." And that was just looking at the fact that I would be apart from him.

I had NO IDEA how much worse it was going to get... The selfish cruelty, the heartlessness... that now finally, in an odd way, the worse he gets, the more I'm able to be glad I'm away from him. It would have come out one way or another eventually, I guess.

Sarah!!!!!!! :wub:

I think this is a very good sign, you had to arrive at this point by yourself no matter what everyone else around you was saying. I am so glad you had a somewhat decent day today, even though you have a lot of sucky things going on, you so deserve for things to turn around and get better.

Please take good care of yourself and get over that pnumonia asap! Tha5t's an order!

:lol: at the MM look-alike, I would probably faint, hee hee.

sigh

The chorale group I sing with is having a welcome reception. I asked what they were serving.

Pasta with Chicken - basil/garlic oil - olive oil garlic - parmesan cheese

Pasta Primavera with veggies, Broccoli - Pine nuts - sun dried tomatoes

Salads (lots of salads), dessert, pies, apple crisp, cakes, drinks

Sigh indeed, BOO on this menu!

Well, I applied for a job today :ph34r: Not teaching (not consistent enough) but doing something fun. At Halloween, the town next to us (Salem, MA) goes crazy so I applied to be a tour guide at

Open Original Shared Link

Does this sound like me or what?

PERFECT Bev!!!!! I'm so excited for you :D

OK . . . I have a confession . . . I got a job . . . besides the temporary Queen gig, that is. Tuesday is my first day. I'm working at a preschool from 8:30 to 1:00 on Tuesdays and Thursdays. The pay is crap but the hours are great and whenever my kids are off, I'm off too.

Yay Janet, this is exciting too!!!

And I must have missed the rollover, congrats on yer Queenship :lol:

Has anybody heard from Tom? :unsure:

Green12 Enthusiast
Green12
Posted
I'll send you a dollar for every time you work 'yeti', 'anal glands' or 'kangaroo scrotum' into your tour.

:lol:

Well, I may as well start practicing. Nathaniel Hawthorne's complete works:

The Scarlet Yeti

House of the Seven anal Glands

Young Goodman Kangaroo Scrotum

:P

:lol::lol:

Bev is going to be rich!

Yikes!......Bunnie Bobbit! :unsure:

HAHAHAHA

This almost made me spit out my water Lisa

:lol:

Reminds me of the internal ultrasound I had last year. I recognized the girl who was doing it as an old friend from middle school. That's just........weird. I didn't say anything until it was over. Just didn't seem right to be renewing old acquaintances while she's sticking that thing up my nethers. :unsure:......sorry guys

Another oh gawd, again what are the odds......maths anyone? :unsure:

curlyfries Contributor
curlyfries
Posted
I'm working at a preschool from 8:30 to 1:00 on Tuesdays and Thursdays.

aaaahhhhh......perhaps they are still innocent at that age.

This week the 2nd graders got in trouble in the cafeteria for signing *gay* to each other......and no, they didn't get it from me.......me thinks theirs is gang related cuz it's not ASL.

Julie!!!....you traitor!!!

Janet.......methinks there needs to be a royal summons for squire Ptaughmnus!

Darn210 Enthusiast
Darn210
Posted
:huh:

You're trading your child-free hours to spend time with more children :blink:

ya, I woulda been a great parent...

You know, if my kids were the same age as the kids I'd be working with, I wouldn't have been able to handle it. I'll be working with 2 1/2 to 3 year olds . . . not anything like my 7 and 9 year olds . . . and there's the other three days/week to do important stuff like surfing the net for yeti jokes.

elye Community Regular
elye
Posted

OUR QUEEN WILL BE MOONLIGHTING! Janet, are you certain you will be able to fulfill your royal duties while spending two days a week wif preschoolers?.. ...Actually, sounds like there will be a fair amount of overlap...... :rolleyes:

All right, Psillies, Janet may be bringing some newly-acquired strategies to the fore....get ready to be having quiet times and time outs, edicts proclaiming that we use our words, and moments where we must go and be by ourselves to think about what we've just said.......

:rolleyes::lol:

FACEBOOK! Julie, isn't it great? We've got a Psilly friendship circle started! :);)

curlyfries Contributor
curlyfries
Posted
All right, Psillies, Janet may be bringing some newly-acquired strategies to the fore....get ready to be having quiet times and time outs, edicts proclaiming that we use our words, and moments where we must go and be by ourselves to think about what we've just said.......

:rolleyes::lol:

........and she'll remind us to sit on our pockets.... and use our inside voices.

elye Community Regular
elye
Posted
........and she'll remind us to sit on our pockets....

...Sit on our pockets? :huh:

I think I'd rather sit on Mr. MacConnehay's pockets..... ...

As long as he's cleaned up.......... :ph34r::lol:

curlyfries Contributor
curlyfries
Posted
...Sit on our pockets? :huh:

I think I'd rather sit on Mr. MacConnehay's pockets..... ...

As long as he's cleaned up.......... :ph34r::lol:

:lol::lol::lol:

Aahhh....different pockets!

Kids have a habit of sitting in chairs on their knees, thus they are usually leaning over the table or desk. So if they are told to sit on their (BACK ) pockets, it's nicer than telling them to sit on their butts.

JNBunnie1 Community Regular
JNBunnie1
Posted
...Sit on our pockets? :huh:

I think I'd rather sit on Mr. MacConnehay's pockets..... ...

As long as he's cleaned up.......... :ph34r::lol:

AMEN. Mr McCoughnehay (does anyone know how to spell that?) can sit in my pockets anytime. Wait, did I get that right? Anyway....

D'you know I was THIS close to getting a Jake Gyllenhaal look-alike in bed? Oh, the places we didn't go........

JNBunnie1 Community Regular
JNBunnie1
Posted
Yikes!......Bunnie Bobbit!

Bunnie Bobbit? Nobody tell my boyfriend...... :ph34r:

jerseyangel Proficient
jerseyangel
Posted
sigh

I'm thinking I'll being filling up on pop...

What a gluten-pallooza <_<:angry:

Well, I applied for a job today

Omg Bevvie--this is perfect for you!! :lol: Sounds like a lot of fun!

OK . . . I have a confession . . . I got a job . . .

Wow--you too, Jan-it! Sounds like the hours are perfect for you :)

Reminds me of the internal ultrasound I had last year. I recognized the girl who was doing it as an old friend from middle school. That's just........weird. I didn't say anything until it was over. Just didn't seem right to be renewing old acquaintances while she's sticking that thing up my nethers. :unsure:......sorry guys

Gawd, Lisa--another thing we have in common! :rolleyes:

Has anybody heard from Tom? :unsure:

Nope--hope he's doing ok.

........and she'll remind us to sit on our pockets.... and use our inside voices.

...and not to run wif scissors....

Bunnie Bobbit? Nobody tell my boyfriend...... :ph34r:

:o Speaking of scissors..... :unsure::P

psawyer Proficient
psawyer
Posted
Sillies---my post count rolled this morning.....and with it brought a very unwelcome phluid that I hate...and another disappointment knowing that it means no family start this month......

Ah, sometimes it is a challenge to be a guy here in sillyville. :rolleyes:

Oh, well, I think I will stick around anyway. ;)

curlyfries Contributor
curlyfries
Posted
Ah, sometimes it is a challenge to be a guy here in sillyville. :rolleyes:

Oh, well, I think I will stick around anyway. ;)

Awwwww, PeOter......any guy stuff you want to share????........we can scratch our crotches, belch, and talk about football and hot chicks if it'll help. ;)

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