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You're Know You're A Celiac If...

chgomom

By chgomom
in Coping with Celiac Disease

Recommended Posts

almostnrn Explorer
almostnrn
Posted
You can´t marry some one you can´t fart in front front of.

OH Debbie, that was sooo funny and soooo true!!!

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  • Replies 112
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Sophiekins Rookie
Sophiekins
Posted

- you can list at least ten different places where you've thrown up

- you can direct your friend, by cellphone, from Splash Mountain to the nearest unoccupied toilet, though you've not been to disneyland in five years

-you have ever seriously considered the question "is it worse to clean vomit or poo off the bathroom floor?"

- bowel movements have reduced you to tears - both happy and sad

- you have a favorite rest room at the mall

-you have ever been late for work because you had to use the toilet

- you have reluctantly decided against purchasing the only pair of jeans on the planet that actually fit you, because they have a hopelessly impractical button fly

- you have considered buying above pair of jeans, and paying someone to fit them with a proper fly

- your friends joke about your "rest room radar"

-your date-activity of choice is the coffee. . .because watching you comb the menu for an edible entree will send him screaming for the hills, drinks are almost as complicated as dinner, and the movie theatre is a semi-toxic environment with all of that popcorn dust

- you actually lose weight when you go home for the holidays

- you have at least one close friend whom you bonded with over colonoscopy reminiscences

-your contribution to the party buffet table comes in two dishes - the one for the buffet and the one you plan on eating, which is usually in your pocket or purse

- you read the ingredients on laundry soap, deoderant, makeup, shampoo and sunscreen. . .as well as on plant food, fertilizer, and pantyhose. . .and you automatically boycott all products that don't include complete ingerdients on their packaging

- you know what Stablizer E471 is. . .along with a thousand other chemical additives

- you have concrete, personal, medical reasons for being anti-GMO

- you have started to worry that the produce containers at your grocery store are biodegradeable. . .and therefore no longer gluten-free

- you have ever considered learning a new language so you could eat on vacation

- your coworkers think you are insane because you have asked them to lick your stamps

Enough for now?

jaten Enthusiast
jaten
Posted
- you actually lose weight when you go home for the holidays

YES!!!! Because you're scared to eat anything other than fresh fruit and lettuce....how true!

ajay Newbie
ajay
Posted

...you won't eat the gluten-free bread in your gluten-free airline meal because there's no ingredient list on it.

...you've mastered the art of saying "oh, that's so sweet, but no thank you."

...under normal circumstances, the words "free samples" mean nothing to you.

...you pack a bag of food for a trip to the mall.

...one file drawer at work is just for food.

...you over-tip restaurant servers who "get it."

...you hate the phrase "modified food starch"

...there's a bowl of leftover halloween candy at work, and you don't even bother to dig through it.

...you eat dinner before you go to a dinner party.

...you've ever been so excited to find a gluten-free version of something you haven't had in years that you buy it and take it home... and only when you put it in the pantry do you realize you never actually liked the original stuff in the first place!

  • 2 weeks later...
saaa-wheat<3 Apprentice
saaa-wheat<3
Posted

...you add a post just to keep this thread bookmarked

...that you keep a thread like this bookmarked because when you return, you know it will make you smile or laugh!

Coda-Queen Newbie
Coda-Queen
Posted

"...your bread looks like a moon rock and tastes like dried out Play

Doh."

:P

The irony is that Play Doh has wheat in it.

dragonmom Apprentice
dragonmom
Posted

....show up at a buffet with your own food. :)

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jen3899 Apprentice
jen3899
Posted

...You have a panic attack at the store because you walked down the flour aisle only to find a bag has broken open...OH NO!

...Now you hold your breath on that aisle and the bread aisle...just in case...

...Your dog has learned that "give momma kisses" means to lick the air near your face

Anyone know of some gluten-free dog food? I currently use Diamond Brand Lamb Meal and Rice, which used to be gluten-free...then all of the sudden stopped with no known reason!!! My dog still likes it just the same...but I DONT!

Oh and when your dog used to be gluten-free...

...You get mad when someone gives the gluten-free pets a NON gluten-free treat!

blueeyedmanda Community Regular
blueeyedmanda
Posted

you know when you travel many miles to go visit a Whole Foods, Trader Joes, or other store because you heard of the baked items they carry :)

you get excited when you find a store-bought cookie which is not only soft but doesn't taste like card board.

you shop at Wegmans and can proudly show your friends the little yellow circle with the "G" on the store products which are gluten free. You have to reassure that you can eat the jelly you bought or that really good raspberry salad dressing since it is usually 100 questions.

you are used to the looks you get at work when you make wraps and people question the tortilia....

dragonmom Apprentice
dragonmom
Posted

look forward to passover because they make great gluten-free desserts.....

LYNN21 Newbie
LYNN21
Posted
hahahah... :lol:

my daughter has been a celiac for two weeks so i can relate

I can't think of anything... I've only been a certified Celiac for three days now. :(

Rebecca47 Contributor
Rebecca47
Posted

:D When you go into a walmart store and find pure maple syrup or anything gluten free and the price went down three or so dollars, compared to trader joes or whole foods ( whole paycheck)Now even safway is carring organic and more gluten free items. i only been a diagnosed celiac for 3 months. There is light at the end on the tunnel ha ha ;):rolleyes: i am still trying to find my way around this board, but its great.

Rebecca

super-sally888 Contributor
super-sally888
Posted

Hahaha!!!

This thread is funny enough that I read every post - though it's so long.

- When your nickname is "La Cubeta" "The Toilet"

- Whenever you exit a room quickly your friends smirk and say, don't worry she's just going to the rest room.

- When you actually go to use public toilets in your office building rather than using the toilets in you office room (to avoid the smell and anyone hearing you throwing up).

- When you know where every toilet is along your bike and running routes (and when you go faster than usual, your friends just know it's cause you have to find that next toilet urgently)...

- When you ultimate pleasure is reaching the toilet just in the nick of time...

- When toilet humor is your forte!!!

- When you scratch more than a squirrel after eating anything containing gluten..

S

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  • Posts

    • knitty kitty
      Headaches / Migraines and Hypoglycaemia

      By knitty kitty · Posted

      @Sarah Grace,  Thank you for the update!  It's so good to hear from you!  I'm glad Thiamine, B Complex and magnesium have helped you.  Yes, it's important to take all three together.    I had to quit eating cheese and nuts a long time ago because they triggered migraines in me, too.  They are high in tyrosine, an amino acid, found also in fermented foods like sauerkraut and red wine.   I found taking Tryptophan very helpful with migraines.  Tryptophan is a precursor of serotonin and people with migraines are often low in serotonin.  (Don't take tryptophan if you're taking an SSRI.)     This recent study shows tryptophan really helps. The association between dietary tryptophan intake and migraine https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/31254181/   For immediate respite from a migraine, try smiling REALLY BIG, mouth closed, tongue pressed against roof of mouth, and crinkle up your eyes like you just heard or saw the funniest thing...  This causes an endorphin release in the brain.  Usually it's the funny event, then the endorphin release and then the smile.  Smiling first makes the endorphin center think it missed something and it catches up quickly by releasing endorphins after the big crinkle eyed smile.  Must make crinkly eyes with smile or it won't work.  If you do this too frequently within a short time frame (several hours), you can deplete your endorphins, but you'll make more in a couple of hours, so no worries. Get your thyroid checked, too.  Migraines are also seen in low thyroid function (Hashimoto's or hypothyroidism).  Celiac and thyroid problems go hand in hand.   Vitamin D helps, too.  Low Vitamin D is found in migraine.   I'm so glad you're doing better.  
    • Jmartes71
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      By trents · Posted

      My migraines generally have their onset during the early morning hours as well. Presently, I am under siege with them, having headaches all but two days so far this month. I have looked at all the things reported to be common triggers (foods, sleep patterns, weather patterns, stress, etc.). Every time I think I start to see a pattern it proves not to pan out in the long run. I'm not sure it's any one thing but may, instead, be a combination of things that coalesce at certain times. It's very frustrating. The medication (sumatriptan or "Imatrix") is effective and is the only thing that will quell the pain. NSAIDs, Tylenol, even hydrocodone doesn't touch it. But they only give you 9 does of sumatriptan a month. And it doesn't help that medical science doesn't really know what causes migraines. They know some things about it but the root cause is still a mystery.
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