Living With Non Celiacs

[Hells Bells]

How do you get it through to your husband to wash your hands after touching wheat bread before touching my bread.

WE have seperate toasters and if we have pasta there are 2 pots and two forks. I can't afford to feed us all gluten-free. He leaved bread crumbs everywhere, drains gravy onto the drainer and leaves it.

Help, I need a man transplant

[Lisa]

You know, we ask a lot of our spouses. They did not sign onto this project and quite a project it is.

My hubby's favorite meal is spaghetti and the poor man never get it. I can make a mean sauce, but he has to cook his own pasta (as I can not taste if its cook properly)

It will be a change, but it will happen. There are always bread crumbs around, but he is trying. He went to the store tonight and bought maple fudge, it listed wheat and he bought it. But he called before he got home and explained his purchase and offered to buy me some organic chocolate at a specialty store before he got home.

Change will come.

[mamaw]

I haven't seen a well trained man in this lifetime!!!! Only kidding...I do know if you find one you'd better keep that info to yourself or other celiac ladies will be after him!!!!!!!

When I started out my soul mate was the same way until I got sick.He kept asking what happened so I then let him have it ... After I got over my rant I asked kindly that he would consider being a bit more tidy with his wheat products.... So I basically blamed him for my gluten reaction.... He is so careful now most of the time, except when he is in a hurry....

Can't live with out them, can't live with them, just gotta love them creatures...MEN!!!!

Good Luck in your training.

mamaw

[happygirl]

Tell him that to you/other Celiacs, that gluten is like rat poison. Would he feel 100% comfortable around the house if there were remnants/crumbs of gluten laying around? Would he like to kiss you if you had just eaten some rat poison and drank some rat poison (beer)?

Your body doesn't care how gluten gets into your intestine...via cheating and eating gluten, through cross contamination, by accident, by carelessness, etc. It gets in and it doesn't discriminate.

Good luck!

[tarnalberry]

I don't know... My husband doesn't do these things because he doesn't want me to get sick. Have you asked your husband why he does these things? Or rather, why he doesn't think about these things? Because he probably is working totally on autopilot and not thinking.

[plantime]

I have to agree with Tiffany. When my husband is home on R&R, he is more paranoid than I am about gluten. All it took was for him to realize that when I don't eat gluten, I have energy for sex and I'm not constantly complaining about not feeling well.

[Lisa]

I have to agree with Tiffany. When my husband is home on R&R, he is more paranoid than I am about gluten. All it took was for him to realize that when I don't eat gluten, I have energy for sex and I'm not constantly complaining about not feeling well.

ding, ding,ding....tell me it ain't so, but it is.

[breann6]

def have to agree with Tiffany and Momma goose- if im sick in the bathroom- I'm not in the bed ya know? gotta give an incentive for being good...and just gently walk him through the in's and out when you see him making mistakes - I bought mats to work on and with a sharpie wrote GLUTEN FREE- on them instead of worrying about the cutting boards and such. i also bleach the counter tops after i know he's been around them with crumbs....I have labels in the fridge on two bins do not touch =gluten free only= and warned him that should he touch with glutenous fingers or sandwhich knives little ninja's will come out and spank him!! lol....he's getting better....squeeze bottles are helping too...he even thought about sharing chapstick the other day- i hadn't even thought of that yet!

~breann

[Kaycee]

My hubby has been great, but I can't help thinking that he married me 18 months ago thinking I was fine, I was thinking I was fine too. But then I was diagnosed 10 months ago and now things have completely changed. But he has been wonderful. At times he does not think, but he is getting better, I will never imagine him being 100 % perfect, but that is what I love about him. He is considerate and does care about my health, and I know I will stick around for him too if he got sick. That is what marriage is about, for richer for poorer, in sickness and health.

But I can't forget he has given up a lot for me, he moved house, he moved cities, he's changed lifestyles, he gave up beer (not to mention he can't drink it like he used to, is that old age catching up?). Now I am left thinking what have I given up or taken on to accomodate him? I might be searching for that answer for quite a while. Then I remember we have his dog, who I walk more than him (but that is good for me). I have supported him in a nasty court battle, and then I was the taxi for him when he lost his license a few years back. I will just have to make sure that next year I will be focussed more on him than on my health. Not that I will neglect my health, but more not be so obssessed with gluten. I should start practising that now

Cathy

Cathy

[Ann1231]

I wish my husband would understand this better! He keeps buying all these wheat products for us and keeps telling me "a little isn't going to hurt you". I am SO tired of trying to tell him that yes, it DOES hurt me!

[Nooner]

I wish my husband would understand this better! He keeps buying all these wheat products for us and keeps telling me "a little isn't going to hurt you". I am SO tired of trying to tell him that yes, it DOES hurt me!

Maybe he should get a copy of Dangerous Grains for the holidays?

Every time I read a thread like this I realize how lucky I am. My husband watched me get sick shortly after getting married and deteriorate steadily during the next 5 years. He rejoiced with me when I was diagnosed in August, and he works hard to keep the kitchen a safe zone. He does eat a little gluten in the house, but confines it to his counter and is (usually) careful to clean up. He once told me that he sees it as an "challenge" to see how long I can go without getting sick. Whatever, as long as it's working!

No, he's not perfect, and yes, sometimes he leaves crumbs out or touches the fridge door after handling a gluteny tortilla. But he tries really hard, and if the situation were reversed, I know I would make mistakes too. We're only 4 months into the gluten free adventure, so I just try to keep an eye out when he's in the kitchen with gluten, and gently remind him to clean up his crumbs if he forgets.

Hey, why hasn't any guy chimed in about a female gluten-eating spouse? Is it only men who make mistakes? Tell me it isn't so!

[Guest cassidy]

My husband has had a rough time with this. He has gotten mad at me several times because I can't just go pick up take out or go anywhere for dinner when we are hungry and he wants to eat fast. He was horrible about leaving crumbs everywhere. I watched him make a sandwich one day. Without washing his hands he touched the fridge, clean kitchen towel, drawer with the zip loc bags and trash can cabinet. I had to go behind him and throw the towel in the wash and wash all the handles and countertop down.

If we share side dishes at dinner it took him a long time not to double dip. I would always ask "is this safe for me?" and after a few times of realizing he just made it so I couldn't eat whatever he double dipped in, he finally started to get the idea. He said it was hard for him because I couldn't just go anywhere to eat and he say me worry when we were invited out to dinner. We talked about his feelings and he saw me get sick enough times that he finally started to come around. I think it was just time that helped.

Good luck. I'm pregnant with a boy now and I am determined to instill compassion, empathy and general helpfulness in him. I'm afraid my son and my husband will be learning these things at the same time!

[Guest nini]

my husband still does this... aggravates me to no end. My daughter and I are both gluten-free and you'd think he'd be more careful, but I watch him make sandwiches and see him touch everything, even pulling ALL the cheese or lunchmeat out of the package, getting his gluteny hands all over everything then putting it back in the container like it's no big deal, I guess he assumes we aren't going to ever eat any lunchmeat or cheese, or just doesn't think about it, then he walks around the whole house eating his sandwich dropping crumbs everywhere... UGH... I give up. I think he's finally learned about double dipping although I have seen bread crumbs on the butter and have had to open a new butter for me... when I was first diagnosed and we used to go out to eat, he would get aggravated at me for being so "demanding" when ordering... I wasn't demanding, just trying to clarify the importance of everything being gluten-free... he sees me when I get sick too, so you'd think it would sink in...

[wifeandmomofceliac]

Okay, so I AM the gluten eating spouse. My husband and 2 kids are gluten free. And yes, I occasionally make mistakes. Last week, while making 2 pots of oatmeal (one Irish Oats for the gluten-free crew, and one Quaker for me and third child), I stuck the wrong spoon into the Irish Oats to stir. Oops. I did realize it immediately, though, and refrigerated for the gluten eaters to have the next day. The down side was that I did not have time to make a second pot, so the gluten-free crew got stuck with cold cereal. (Humble apologies, muttered repeatedly).

It does, however, make me feel better that my gluten-free husband makes at least as many mistakes as I do. He has gotten better recently. But it took a long time for him to have the fortitude to ask the necessary questions when going out to eat. His attitude was that he was an adult, and the consequences were his to bear. When I pointed out that not only does his family need him to be healthy, but his daughter needs him to set an example to speak up for herself, he made the change. And this really has helped our little girl feel more comfortable about making sure her needs are met. (Our littlest one can't speak up for himself yet, but he'll have a good example when he is older.)

Good luck to all.

Michelle

[Hells Bells]

Thank you all for your responses, its good to know that I am not alone in this.

I keep seperate stuff fro me in the fridge labeled, had not thought of my own cutting board ect. It made me realise other things too, had not thought about the cc opening the fridge and he is terrible with the tea towels. I am getting paranoid about my paranoia now.

The key is education and education and education and honey dear.

And you know my sex life did get better when I became, gluten-free. Now theres a whole new topic.

[nikki-uk]

Okay, so I AM the gluten eating spouse. My husband and 2 kids are gluten free. And yes, I occasionally make mistakes. Last week, while making 2 pots of oatmeal (one Irish Oats for the gluten-free crew, and one Quaker for me and third child), I stuck the wrong spoon into the Irish Oats to stir. Oops. I did realize it immediately, though, and refrigerated for the gluten eaters to have the next day. The down side was that I did not have time to make a second pot, so the gluten-free crew got stuck with cold cereal. (Humble apologies, muttered repeatedly).

Happened to me too!!

I am the spouse and a mother of a coeliac (although I am gluten-free, 2 of our sons aren't)

I was doing 2 lots of toast ( 2 toasters, 2 different breads, 2 different tubs of butter and 2 knives!!)

Brain went into meltdown and I accidently put the glutened knife in the gluten-free butter !!!

Ooops!!

Threw the lot and started again!

Mistakes happen!!

I must admit though although I'm not a coeliac (gluten-free by choice) I am much hotter on seeing the potential for CC than hubby (who is a coeliac).

Maybe it's a man thing???

[sspitzer5]

My boyfriend is very good about the gluten thing. We don't have very much of it in the house, but he eats wheat bread and gluteny take out. There have been many times when he pointed out contamination that I hadn't even thought of. Perhaps its because he's super neat to begin with. I'm the only one leaving crumbs around our house!

S

[lilmama]

I wish my husband would understand this better! He keeps buying all these wheat products for us and keeps telling me "a little isn't going to hurt you". I am SO tired of trying to tell him that yes, it DOES hurt me!

This is my hubby line. I'm still new to the whole diet so he is too. He doesn't understand that what I ate a month ago now cause me great tummy troubles. He is working w/me to try and find fods I can eat. I went to a chicken place today and explain to the manager that I needed it to be totally gluten free. Explain to her what that meant. She went to the back and made my order for me. One of the 1st people not to look at me like I had bats flying out of my ears. Unfortunately I think there made have been cross contamination. I knew the risk but was on the run after doing last minute shopping.