How To Get A Pre-teen To Go Wheat Free?

[janelyb]

Ok so last summer/fall we had some natropath doc do non advasive muscle/nutrition response testing done. This doc recommended my 11 yr old go casein and wheat free. She was very upset and angry at me for not letting her eat normal food. We managed to be Gluten-free Casein-free for a short time and instantly we saw +++ changes in her. She has always had severe eczema and keratosis piloris, and within a few days her skin was clearing up. Unfortunately with the holidays I've slacked and our habits have reverted back to gluten and dairy. I still provide her with 1-2 gluten and casein free meals a day.

She has the eczema back full force, her back is covered in a rash. Which I wouldn't have known if I didn't walk by her room while she was changing, she's 11 and getting modest now.

So how can I get her back to eatting gluten and casein free??? It was such a huge power struggle to go cold turkey last time, she had major withdrawls and mood swings and so much anger directed toward me for making her eat differently. How can I slowly get her to accept the food????

She absolutely hates to be any different...but the whole family eats Gluten-free Casein-free dinner together so it's not like she's be eatting a totally different meal. I think lunch at school will be the main hurdle, since she likes to buy school lunch.

[Lisa]

I will leave this response to those parents with experience. But, I just wanted to say, that I have the utmost respect for parents with celiac children.

It's such a responsibility, but oh how dedicated parents you all are.

[lonewolf]

I have an 11 year old son who we've had the same battles with. He's been mostly dairy free since he was 18 months old, and has been gluten "light" for his whole life since I've been wheat free since he was an infant. But something about going completely gluten-free was a battle. He tested negative on all the tests, so it was extra hard to convince him. Now, he knows he feels better off gluten and dairy, so it's a little easier, but it's taken about a year.

Here are some things we did:

Talking and reasoning, just a bit.

Letting him read some of the research himself, so he knew I wasn't "making it up".

Making delicious meals and abundant treats. His whole class was jealous last Valentine's Day when I brought him a very large, heart-shaped sugar cookie with pink frosting. It looked WAY better than what they were all eating and made him feel special. I try to make his lunches really good with special treats so he doesn't feel deprived. (This isn't always easy. I discovered that the most important thing for him is to have something that looks "normal" like chips and cookies.)

Trying to be calm when he cheated on purpose and not make it into a power struggle. We TRY to have the attitude that we're all on the same side.

It does make it easier for him to have me and one of his sisters also gluten free. EVERYTHING at our house (except for sandwich bread for hubby and youngest son) is gluten-free, so it's "normal" at home.

Good luck! I really do understand the battle. Until she "buys into it" herself, it can be hard.

[FeedIndy]

I have been pretty generous with treats while making the adjustment. In fact, I bought chocolate cereal for the first time ever just to prove to my girls that there are good foods they can still eat! Providing lots of gluten free options really helps-the pantry is well stocked with Envirokidz bars, gluten free chips (Cheetos & Fritos are a favorite), raisins and Namaste cookies. I try to make lunches fun so she doesn't feel too different-when she does feel different it's because everyone wants what she has. Nacho lunchables are gluten free (as long as there isn't a candy bar in it, but I have found them all to be okay so far) so that is something "normal" she can take. She loves rollups-she wraps a piece of cheese in lunchmeat.

When she did have trouble and ask if she can have it "just this once" I use the rat poison analogy. I asked if she would eat some rat poison "just one time" and of course that disgusts here. Then I say, "What about just one little piece?" and "Why not, it's only a little bit of poison just this one time." Then I tell her that gluten is like poison to her body and even a little bit can hurt. She hasn't wanted to "cheat" since that discussion.

[celiacgirls]

I have an 11 year old girl who has been Gluten-free Casein-free for about 8 months. She has major mood issues when she has casein and is more irritable when she has gluten. She knows this so she is somewhat motivated to stay on the diet. I'm sure if I tried to feed her only "healthy" food, she would cheat. I make sure I have plenty of "normal" gluten-free/CF food around that the other kids also eat. This daughter has always been picky and eats only a few fruits and vegetables. Before this diet, I was always pushing her to have healthier snacks but now I let her have things like fruit rollups, potato chips, and popcorn. I also make a lot of cookies, brownies, and cupcakes and I try hard to make them something the other kids will want. Her friends have tried some of her food and like it. She never bought her lunch before, so bringing her lunch was never a problem for her.

Before Christmas vacation, I suspected her of cheating so I told her that if her behaviour and mood were such that I thought she was cheating, I was going to meet her for lunch every day and go to all of her parties with her to make sure she didn't cheat. Over the Christmas break, I didn't let her go to her friends' houses but had the friends come here so I knew what she was eating. I'm hoping the threat of me following her around will keep her honest. I do not want to go back to the way she was before this diet.

When she asks if she can have something she shouldn't, I ask her why she would want to feel that way on purpose. So far, that seems to work for her, at least when I am there.

[Joanie & Meg]

My 11 year old daughter was horrible with her behavior before going gluten free. So I do understand! It was like she had a bad case of pms since she was born! She doesn't want to eat gluten because it makes her very sick to the point of crying with pain. The funny thing is her friends all wish their Mom would cook like I do! Thank God that does help. I also do keep some things in the house that I wouldn't have before like kisses etc. We are trying to limit the milk products now because they also cause problems. Funny thou she knows which ones don't do well for her. She also has learned how to read labels so that makes her feel smart. Also we cook together. Or sometimes I let her do little things herself. But as for my 20 year old-because scope was - he eats whatever-but his blood was +. He is moody when eats gluten. We have had long talks about this and I am very frank with him about it. Like telling him what it has done to his grandma. At least when he is home he eats gluten free, he lives at home while in college-but you know they are always on the move. as parents all we can do is our best-but always, always keep talking to them in a loving manner.

Good Luck,

Joanie

[Cheri A]

First of all, ((HUGS)) for both you and your daughter!!

Unfortunately, I think that she needs to get on board with the gluten-free/cf diet before it will work. Does the eczema bother her? Like the others have said, she needs to feel like her food is good.

My dd is only 8 years old and has been gluten-free for a little over a year. We have been free of the other things for most of her life. At the beginning, we had a difficult time because we were all in "mourning" for our beloved wheat! The turning point was, I believe, when her dad took her drive-thru at McDs and forgot to ask for meat only. She got home and just had to have the bun (and the fries, of course). Within 15 minutes of eating, she was writhing in stomach pain and the big "d" started. She told me the next morning that she never wanted to eat at McDs again. We haven't. We have had slip ups and she always tells me that it's not worth how she feels. Most of the slip-ups have been when eating out.

She, also, likes to be like everyone else. So we go with the different, but equal deal. I pack every day and she gets cookies, chips, etc. just like everyone else. There are a lot of "normal" foods that are gluten-free.

[chrissy]

why not have the celiac panel done? at her age you may not get her to go gluten free without a "real" diagnosis.

[janelyb]

thanks everyone. He excema does bother her alot!!!! I often suspect it is more of a dairy allergy because the rash started at about birth when formula was introduced.

I am planning on having the doc also run a celiac panel on her as well.

Janel

[Joanie & Meg]

I forgot to say earlier-both my daughters skin problems are completely gone for the last few months. She had ezema and something else and poff they are gone after being on diet a few months. Good luck.

Joanie

[Cruiser Bob]

There's no easy way to get kids to eat "properly" in our view, with respect to food allergies or sensitivities. My kids have been gluten-free for 12+ years now, live between 2 gluten-free households and generally do pretty well with their diet. I know they cheat and I know they enjoy it when they do, and yes the "nightmare girl" surfaces when she doesn't eat properly. The kids are now 14 & 16.

You can't tell them go ahead - it's your life, just chose how early you want to die? That's the real issue, if we chose to continue to put poison into our body, something is going to break.

Their mom and I both agree that we can't force them, and we both work hard on setting a good foundation. Heck, my kids are getting real close to being off on their own, making their own decisions on what they ingest.

Third grade was the only hard year for food and teasing by other kids. My older is a girl, and in the "in crowd" in high school, and her diet restrictions don't affect her social life. "Angie eats really wierd food" was a quote from her last fall. Angie is a vegan - it made me smile. Her friends all like the food she brings to school.

I know we (parents and gluten-free-grandparents) are always slipping in little comments about long term diet/health, but we all try really hard not to make it too big a deal. Sushi (get gluten-free Tamari) and Mexican are always good, but without cheese, it is hard.

Dairy is a tough one for kids. We were dairy free for about 4 years, but now the kids do alright with dairy, too bad I don't - oh well.

Also, both kids have been going to camp for about 6 years now and that helps, as there is a ton of gluten-free/Dairy free food, at a camp environment, where the gluten-free food is better than the regular camp food. My oldest will be a JR. councilor this year.

Try getting the "Living Without" magazine - get a subscription. Join GIG, get your daughter cooking and enjoying things. I know it's a lot harder to actually do all this, but eventually you'll be able to sneak through the side door with enough information that she'll get it.

They'll be making there own decisions, by themselves pretty soon. Feel like crap, look like crap, or feel good, look good?? Make a deal - the two of you keep a daily diary on food that goes in and reactions. Get her to go 45 days on "your required" diet and then give her 45 days to use her judgement on diet. Then compare notes.

Just ideas from the peanut gallery

Bob

[kirbymom]

I have mild eczema, but am dairy light and know that it is dairy related so am in the process of going dairy free in my house - we all are as I am the main cook - we are already gluten free. Get your daughter involved. Please PM me for some yummy recipes - I tried the chocolate cake recipe from Special Diets for Special kids yesterday and everybody loved it (snack for break at my church). Many of us have done lots of testing and have recipes that taste good to everybody. I get my daughters (2 and 6) to help me bake and try recipes - it is a little frustrating at times, but can be very fun and the results are usually good. Get a few good recipes to start with and branch out from there. A good place to start would be Special Diets for Special kids - although it is targeted to autistic kids, the recipes are decent. Just don't get bogged down in the science. We also just tried Dari-Free and I think my 2 year old will actually drink it (she avoids soy, does not like rice milk and is still nursing along with 5 mos old baby).

Try connecting your daughter with another person her age that has gone through the same thing - ask other parents on the board. A "penpal" that understands her might just help! Just another thought - kids want to fit in.

If you want, I can look up good gingersnap, muffin, chocolate cake, pizza crust (although would have to be without cheese), brownies, and cookie recipes and pass them on to you.

Another good book - I think it's called The Kid Friendly Allergy Food Cookbook - it's targeted gluten free, but has substitutions for dairy free as well. It uses a lot of just rice flour which I find too dry, but is easy to use as a start.

[Granny Garbonzo]

I am no expert, but have raised my own daughters, and 4 foster teens, and was raised in a home that took literally hundreds of kids in foster care.....

First, let him or her know that if they keep eating gluten the results won't be pretty.

They will soon develop uncontrolable gas (this means farting in public, around peers), and soon the gas will seem like nothing compared to pooping in their pants with uncontrolable cases of the trots. Skin problems will not only be ugly when they are in bloom, but will cause scarring that will get uglier as they get older. Their abdominal area will become bloated as though they are 7months pregnant, their hair will not only loose its shine, but may fall out or turn ugly in color. They may become very fat or very skinny with a big belly. When they go to get shots it may be difficult for medical personnel to access veins that are shrunken and shrivelled. And by midlife or earlier they will no doubt have multiple physical, mental, and emotional problems, including the relationship problems that go along with being grumpy and uncomfortable and sick.

I am not exagerating. I have had this disease for 20years and watched my grandmother deteriorate until she died, and now am watching my mother who is 76 and won't stick to the diet, as she slowly lets gluten take her life. I had another friend who was my mother's age who I sat with as she died from celiac disease. These people who have this disease and won't stick to the diet usually get to the point where they have the trots so bad they have to wear diapers and can not go places with friends, the poop runs out of the diapers and gets all over things, it is terribly miserable and unsociable when the diet is not strictly adhered to.

Maybe research lots of material on celiac disease and cut out little snippets of info and put them where the kid might read them. People don't like to present others with unpleasant information, but there are times when a little shocking reality is just what is needed.

Best of luck, don't give in or give up, remember, with teens consistency and saying what you mean and meaning what you say is all important.

[Granny Garbonzo]

Also, from what I've seen, many people with allergies often stop being allergic after a few years of staying completely away from the gluten. Remember celiac disease is not an allergy, but it effects the immune system so severely that it can bring on any health issues that that person has a tendency toward. To me, it stands to reason that if you clear up your immune system by being extremely carefull to stay away from gluten, other symptoms my take care of themselves. Another good reason to be very careful with gluten-free diet then, is to avoid having to add to the list of other foods you may become allergic to later is you keep torturing your immune system with gluten.

Like others are saying, you do have to learn to cook differently, but there is hardly anything that my family has not figured out how to make ourselves. Even the people in our family who do not have celiac disease eat almost entirely the same diet we do, and don't seem to mind at all. And we all work full time and have time constraints like anyone, but we have just learned to keep our products available in our pantries and try lots of different things and share recipes and products we find good. You can do it too. Chances are if your child has celiac disease, you or others in the family have it too and don't know it. So it is really a healthy thing for the whole family to go on the gluten free diet, and if the whole family has to change their diet, not just your teen, they may feel better about it.

[gfp]

Wow.. I just browsed through this thread out of interest.... lots of good advice!

Cruiser Bob: Can't argue.... and IMHO whatever you force on your kids "under your own roof" is just as likely to it leading to completely the opposite once they branch out of their own....

Granny Garbonzo: equally good advice but now I feel I'm missing lots of others....

I think at the end of the day you can do what you can do.... I poste half in jest a few days ago that when we become parents we suddenly forget what is was like being a child... and suddenly appreciate what it ws like being our own mom and pop....

So my qualifed opinion as someone who hasn't had kids (thus not done the swap of knowledge/memories)... is you can't force anyone and forcing them too far has at least an equal chance of achieving entirely the opposite you intended.

One thing I would worry most about is long term health.... and development of autoimmune disorders etc. but so far as I can see the risks are far less as a child for 4-5 years than long term as an adult.... PLEASE ..I'm not saying its OK.... I'm trying to say its a crap shoot... I think like Cruiser Bob says providing a long term good example is better than punishment or refusal to discuss and always being available on the subject is invaluable.

The best analogy I can think of is smoking, kids KNOW the dangers nowadays.... but yet many still choose to smoke... they figure they can give up or they are not going to do it for long...

All studies show that the primary influence is parental example... if you smoke and tell your kid not to its less likekly to work...

This doesn't bely the fact that the smoker might be in the best position to actually tell them WHY.... but kids are by nature rebellious...

Anyway, that's just my 2c.... its not in any way meant as criticism... and I don't envy your situation....

[ryebaby0]

As the mom of a 13 yr old (dx at 10) with various food issues and systemic problems, I feel your daughter's pain, and yours. It is a very hard adjustment and involves a grieving process. That being said --- she IS different, and might as well fold those differences into her life NOW; on the other hand, she isn't all THAT different and you shouldn't feel too sorry for her. She will never treat this as a non=negotiable dietary change if you give the impression that somehow she has room for cheating, wailing, and fussing. Don't let her play on your own grief, sadness, etc.. There's tons of food out there. You have to have a strong, positive attitude for her to model. She is more than what she eats. In the meantime, try everything and anything, staying open to possibilities and treating it like an adventure. Throw lots of yucky stuff out. Cook with her. Have her friends over to experiment and taste-test. Have her post reviews of things. Have her shop on-line for food. And remember, she can still have Hershey bars! (We used to play this game --- if my son would say "I can't have ------" I would retort "but you can have --------")

hang in there ~

[Ruth]

For anyone with gluten-free kids, I highly recommend the book "The gluten-free Kid, a Celiac Disease Survival Guide" Written by Melissa London

My 11yo daughter thought it was great...even reading it 3 years after going gluten-free.

BTW: She had absolutely NO celiac symptoms or any illnesses at all. She had very high positive blood tests and positive biopsy.

Take Care,

Ruth