Should I Be Ashamed Or Excited?

[blueeyedmanda]

I guess the title pretty much says it all.

Here's the story. I am getting married at the end of October. I had picked up a dress at a yard sale for a steal, almost a year ago. I liked it when I tried it on there, but when I got home and kept looking at it, it wasn't what I liked. In the spring, I was in Salvation Army, and there was a new with tags Jasmine dress on the rack. It was so pretty. It fit almost perfectly. I was going to get it dry cleaned, it was a bit dirty on the bottom from my guess is being dragged on the floor. In our state they will not spot clean at all, so I was told at the cleaners, that they could dry clean it but the beads on top may come off and they were not liable for that. I took the dress home (not cleaned) to think it over. My coworker had made a good point, it will get dirty the minute you get out of the church, so if it is not noticable not to worry about spending the money on dry cleaning. The other weekend I took it out, put it on to inspect the dirtiness. One thing I must have overlooked at the store, there are runs in the front of the dress, as if it got scratched by a finger nail or ring. It looks horrid. I was devastated. My fiance told me he wanted me to go buy a dress a new one, he didn't care about the price. He thinks every girl deserves the prettiest wedding dress.

Yesterday, while getting my maid of honor fitted, I tried on dresses. I had started looking and pinning the ones I wanted. I found the dress of my dreams. I tried on 10 dresses yesterday. This one was on sale for $200. For a brand new dress at David's Bridal, wow! They didn't have any of my size on the $99 rack.

Well, today I showed the dress to the girl next to me. She couldn't believe I bought another dress. Another coworker, couldn't believe it either, she exclaimed how many dresses do you need. Then she went on to say why am I having a wedding, I could use the money to buy a house. I am not even having a big fancy wedding, it is just a small little thing. When my good friend, came over and said Are you kidding about the dress, I said no and showed it to her. She loved it. I said I was ashamed to have bought another. She said I needed to be happy. Well the girl next to me, has turned around to say I said her and the second woman were being rude about my dress.

So now I feel horrible. I am not even excited about the wedding, I wish I could back and never tell anyone. I never feel comfortable at work, they are so odd about stuff. This sent me over the edge. I was outside in tears earlier. I am getting married. I should be happy. Instead I am hiding.

sorry for the rant, just wanted to get that off my shoulders.

[jerseyangel]

Oh Amanda, I'm so sorry that girl made you feel bad I think she was way out of line--what business is it of hers how many dresses you buy?

It *is* important for you to be happy on your special day. I understand you tried to economise with the first two dresses, but in the end, they turned out to be not what you really wanted. I'm glad that your fiance realized this and urged you to go shopping.

$200 (while a lot of money) isn't horribly expensive for a wedding dress. Please don't feel guilty or let anyone make you feel bad for what you choose. I'm really happy for you that you found something you love!

I'm thinking I wouldn't share any important or personal information with your co-workers. It does not sound like they have your best interests at heart. There are some people who just hate to see anyone else happy--sad, but true.

So, take a deep breath and don't let them get to you. You're getting married!!!!! And it's going to be wonderful.

And I want to see pictures

[TrillumHunter]

Mean girls come in all ages....

This moment when you join together is a beginning. It should be marked with celebration and beauty. You will be beautiful that day and full of joy--think of what is ahead for you! If you can buy three dresses and still put food (gluten-free, of course!) on the table, so be it. Mark this beginning. It's one of the few you will never forget!

[confused]

Dont let what they told you bother you. They are just jealous.

I wonder what they would of told me with what i spent on my wedding dress. You got an awesome deal on your dress and that is what matters, Every bride deserves to look beautiful and be in a dress that makes her feel like the prettiest girl in the world

You are going to show us the dress arent you lol.

paula

[Guhlia]

Amanda, don't feel bad. I have two wedding dresses. The first was a victorian style dress that I decided would be too hot to wear in June. The second was a prom dress that I bought two weeks before the wedding, just when all the prom stuff went on clearance. You need to wear whatever you like. This wedding will last a lifetime in memories and it's only fair for you to wear exactly what you want to. Don't worry about what those women said, there's nothing wrong with changing your mind or buying something different.

[angel-jd1]

*said in her best big sister voice*

Now listen here Miss Amanda.......this is YOUR wedding. These girls are just being hiefers because they are jealous!! Ignore them!!!

Stop, take a deep breath and for goodness sakes BE HAPPY!! You have found your prince charming and you two are going to have a wonderful life together. This dress drama is only a grain of sand in the life that you two will share. Forget about it, spend the $200 and get your dream dress!! Look like the princess you deserve to be.

OK I'm done now hehe

-Jessica

I guess the title pretty much says it all.

Here's the story. I am getting married at the end of October. I had picked up a dress at a yard sale for a steal, almost a year ago. I liked it when I tried it on there, but when I got home and kept looking at it, it wasn't what I liked. In the spring, I was in Salvation Army, and there was a new with tags Jasmine dress on the rack. It was so pretty. It fit almost perfectly. I was going to get it dry cleaned, it was a bit dirty on the bottom from my guess is being dragged on the floor. In our state they will not spot clean at all, so I was told at the cleaners, that they could dry clean it but the beads on top may come off and they were not liable for that. I took the dress home (not cleaned) to think it over. My coworker had made a good point, it will get dirty the minute you get out of the church, so if it is not noticable not to worry about spending the money on dry cleaning. The other weekend I took it out, put it on to inspect the dirtiness. One thing I must have overlooked at the store, there are runs in the front of the dress, as if it got scratched by a finger nail or ring. It looks horrid. I was devastated. My fiance told me he wanted me to go buy a dress a new one, he didn't care about the price. He thinks every girl deserves the prettiest wedding dress.

Yesterday, while getting my maid of honor fitted, I tried on dresses. I had started looking and pinning the ones I wanted. I found the dress of my dreams. I tried on 10 dresses yesterday. This one was on sale for $200. For a brand new dress at David's Bridal, wow! They didn't have any of my size on the $99 rack.

Well, today I showed the dress to the girl next to me. She couldn't believe I bought another dress. Another coworker, couldn't believe it either, she exclaimed how many dresses do you need. Then she went on to say why am I having a wedding, I could use the money to buy a house. I am not even having a big fancy wedding, it is just a small little thing. When my good friend, came over and said Are you kidding about the dress, I said no and showed it to her. She loved it. I said I was ashamed to have bought another. She said I needed to be happy. Well the girl next to me, has turned around to say I said her and the second woman were being rude about my dress.

So now I feel horrible. I am not even excited about the wedding, I wish I could back and never tell anyone. I never feel comfortable at work, they are so odd about stuff. This sent me over the edge. I was outside in tears earlier. I am getting married. I should be happy. Instead I am hiding.

sorry for the rant, just wanted to get that off my shoulders.

[Karen B.]

I had the wedding of my dreams -- me, him, the minister and no one else. But I've never liked ceremony and always swore that was what I wanted for a wedding. It gave me an easy out to anyone that complained about not being invited "My own mother wasn't there, you should complain?" :-)

That was my choice, my dream wedding. If your choice is the dress and so forth, that's your choice and don't let anyone take the joy out of it. Especially over a $200 wedding dress. While $200 is a lot of money, it's not a lot of money for a wedding dress -- it's very reasonable. It's not uncommon for wedding dresses to cost much more.

And I've got news for your co-worker, $200 won't go very far when you are talking about a downpayment on a house. But it will do just great towards making your wedding day a day you will enjoy remembering.

I think some of your co-workers suffer from small and petty spirits. Possibly, they are jealous of your happiness. That's their problem, don't let them make it yours.

[blueeyedmanda]

Thanks you guys, I am starting to feel a bit better. Yesterday my bride side finally kicked it...I got excited, before I was just so overwhelmed about everything. Now I am excited and my maid of honor and I started getting things to make. Here is a link to the dress

Open Original Shared Link

[Guest Doll]

People who know my posts may realize that I'm not always politically correct... ...so here goes :

Anyone who makes you feel guilty about YOUR own wedding deserves a slap across the face. I don't know if people like to make other people feel bad, are jealous, or just plain ignorant. Regardless, it is YOUR big day, and you deserve to be happy. Don't feel bad about spending $200 on your wedding dress (provided you will not go without food for a month). It would be *very* hard to find a dress in good condition that fits you well in a second hand store. Most people would need to buy a new dress anyway. Now, granted $200 is not really that much for a wedding gown, but it does depend on your budget and what you want to spend. I think you got a very good deal, and I am sure you will look beautiful! Donate the other dresses to a program that helps underprivileged women, I am sure there is a charity that will accept them.

Congrats on your upcoming wedding and good luck!

[angel-jd1]

Thanks you guys, I am starting to feel a bit better. Yesterday my bride side finally kicked it...I got excited, before I was just so overwhelmed about everything. Now I am excited and my maid of honor and I started getting things to make. Here is a link to the dress

Open Original Shared Link

Awww that's a very pretty dress....I say GET IT

[blueeyedmanda]

Awww that's a very pretty dress....I say GET IT

Thank You, I did purchase it yesterday. I got it on sale too. It was the only one out of 10 that was what I liked. Now I did get spaghetti straps for it, I am not the strapless type.

[jerseyangel]

Amanda sweetie,

The gown is just lovely, and you will look simply beautiful in it

Don't give those negative nellies another thought

[confused]

That is a very pretty dress, 200 for that dress is an awesome deal. Just a tip if you plan on keeping it, after you wear wash it by hand in the bathtub then wrap it up, if you take it to an dry cleaner you will lose the pearls on it. That is what my mom did with mine then we put it in a keepsake box. I really hope one of my girls will wear it in about 30 yrs lol.

paula

[Guhlia]

Amanda, that dress is GORGEOUS!!! I'm so excited that you went ahead and got it.

[blueeyedmanda]

That is a very pretty dress, 200 for that dress is an awesome deal. Just a tip if you plan on keeping it, after you wear wash it by hand in the bathtub then wrap it up, if you take it to an dry cleaner you will lose the pearls on it. That is what my mom did with mine then we put it in a keepsake box. I really hope one of my girls will wear it in about 30 yrs lol.

paula

Thanks for the tip

[CarlaB]

Excited, of course!

Are the women who said you should take the wedding money and buy a house married?

I am thinking that maybe they just don't appreciate marriage and sharing the celebration with your friends and family. Marriage seems to be less common than it used to be, so it seems that many don't appreciate what it means.

I find it funny that you bought two used dresses, then a new one, but it's still nothing to be ashamed of! You can always take them back to the Salvation Army so someone else can buy them!

My computer won't go to the website, so I can't see your dress.

[GeoffCJ]

My wife is Chinese-Vietnamese-American. It's traditional to wear multiple wedding dresses on your wedding day. she "only" had 3, a friend of hers had 5. Her mom wanted her to have 5, but she thought that was silly.

It's your day, don't let anyone ruin it. We had all kinds of little squabbles trying to arrange a wedding that would feel "normal" and "right" to both sides of the family. In the end, we told both sides, "Look, it's our wedding, what matters is just that we love each other, and we'll do our best to incorporate some traditions from both sides, and everyone is going to have fun. If you can't handle that, stay home. "

Seemed to work.

And the girl that gave you a hard time just sounds like a b**ch to me. Don't let her get under your skin.

Geoff

[GeoffCJ]

BTW- That's a very nice dress.

And $200, for anything wedding related, is pretty inexpensive. I was bit reluctant to have a big wedding, but we did, and it was awesome and spectacular and wonderful and I wouldn't change a thing.

there are pictures and our vows here.

Open Original Shared Link

[confused]

Thanks for sharing those pics and vows, looks like you had an beautiful wedding. I spent about 2000 for my wedding dress and attire, it was an one of a kind. Now having 5 kids, i sometimes feel bad for spending that kind of money, but we had the big catholic wedding. Thank goodness my parents paid for it all, and poor things i left my husband at the alter, cause his side of the family caused many problems the night before and the day of the wedding. But my mom told me i was marrying my husband and not his family lol and that i beter get back on that alter and get married. I am so glad i listened to her, even tho his family still dont like me, but at least they stay away from us lol.

All wedddings are special, and the bride needs to do what makes her happy. If she wants a 5 dollar dress of a 10,000 dress or if she wants 1 or 5 dresses, it doesnt matter to anyone but the bride (and a groom for a small percent).

paula

[GeoffCJ]

our wedding was quite a bit more expensive that that, and we paid for 90% of it. I was still a student at the time, so it was tough, but we did it, and I have no regrets. I don't think a fancy, big celebration is needed, but I certainly had a great time and don't regret a thing.

Geoff

[jerseyangel]

I need to butt in here one more time--Geoff, your wedding pictures are beautiful! Thanks for sharing

[confused]

our wedding was quite a bit more expensive that that, and we paid for 90% of it. I was still a student at the time, so it was tough, but we did it, and I have no regrets. I don't think a fancy, big celebration is needed, but I certainly had a great time and don't regret a thing.

Geoff

no that was just for what i wore, the wedding was over 10 times that. But that was the last time i had all 4 of my grandparents at anything of mine. That is something i will cherish the rest of my life. My poor grandpa was there with an concussion, and he died a few months later. He was my rock, i miss him so much. I am so sad he never met any of my kids besides my stepson, who he loved so much. But my son who i was pg with when he passed away we named after him, and boy are they similiar. People in my hometown still talk about our wedding and its been 8 yrs lol.

Blue, what day are you getting married on? I think an october wedding is wonderful. What is the weather like up there in october? What color is your bridesmaid dress. i love weddings and love to know the details lol. Are you going to have an veil or tiarra, hair up or down?

paula

[GeoffCJ]

no that was just for what i wore, the wedding was over 10 times that.

I should learn to read.

[confused]

Thats ok.

But if i could have found dress as beautiful as blue, i would have gotten one like hers, but we didnt have an davids bridal. I think she got that for an steal and im so jealous.

paula

[Karen B.]

Thanks you guys, I am starting to feel a bit better. Yesterday my bride side finally kicked it...I got excited, before I was just so overwhelmed about everything. Now I am excited and my maid of honor and I started getting things to make. Here is a link to the dress

Open Original Shared Link

A dress like that for only $200 is quite a steal! It's gorgeous! Twenty years from now, your husband will still remember how lovely you looked in that dress and I think your co-worker is jealous.

If you donate the other 2 dresses to a charity, don't forget to get a receipt. Getting married will change your tax status and you might be able to use the donation to reduce your taxes.