Friends And Family Not Supporting You?

[Guest Keating823]

For some reason, my family (my 3 brothers) and my friends think it's hilarious when they are eating a really good looking sandwich or something and look at me and be like "do you want a bite? oh wait, you can't! but are you sure you don't want any? It's reallllly good!" This goes on for a while. They also like to talk about how gross my food looks and tastes when I am eating. It makes me so mad! Anybody else have that? Oh and they call me the silly-yaker... which actually I don't mind because it sounds hilarious. And when they are eating they will be like "don't eat this rach, it's a gluten-bomb!!". Yes, my family and friends are quite the jokesters.

[CarlaB]

If it's bothering you, I would answer them something like this, but in your own words ... "I'm glad you're having a good laugh at my expense." That should give them the clue that you don't think it's funny.

If your food doesn't look as good as theirs, you need to eat something else!!!! My gluten-free food always looks great! I tend to stick to things that are naturally gluten-free. Next time they have a sandwich, make yourself a steak (is it really that much more expensive than gluten-free bread? !

[stef-the-kicking-cuty]

This is not very fair to your situation. You are not celiac by choice, so it's not fair, that they are picking on you like that. You should let them know!

[Karbol]

For some reason, my family (my 3 brothers) and my friends think it's hilarious when they are eating a really good looking sandwich or something and look at me and be like "do you want a bite? oh wait, you can't! but are you sure you don't want any? It's reallllly good!" This goes on for a while. They also like to talk about how gross my food looks and tastes when I am eating. It makes me so mad! Anybody else have that? Oh and they call me the silly-yaker... which actually I don't mind because it sounds hilarious. And when they are eating they will be like "don't eat this rach, it's a gluten-bomb!!". Yes, my family and friends are quite the jokesters.

Sounds like it's hard for you. I never thought of teasing as something my son could be dealing with. I am going to ask him now. I hope that you could tell your friends and family how you feel. They may be trying to be "light about it", but obviously it is having the opposite effect for you. A simple, "Hey Guys, it is really hard for me to ........" Hang in there. Karbol

[ravenwoodglass]

What I would do is give them a smug and knowing look and say something like "You know this is genetic right? Well your time may come, and sooner than you think." This of course only applies if they are old enough to know what genes are. If they aren't I would try and enlist your parents in educating them or simply ignore them and take satisfaction in the fact that you are doing what you need to do, in a mature manner, to live as long and as pain free as you can. There is not much you can do to make these kids more adult but you can change the way you react to their teasing. If you do not react to their taunts eventually they will stop.

[blueeyedmanda]

What I would do is give them a smug and knowing look and say something like "You know this is genetic right? Well your time may come, and sooner than you think." This of course only applies if they are old enough to know what genes are. If they aren't I would try and enlist your parents in educating them or simply ignore them and take satisfaction in the fact that you are doing what you need to do, in a mature manner, to live as long and as pain free as you can. There is not much you can do to make these kids more adult but you can change the way you react to their teasing. If you do not react to their taunts eventually they will stop.

I really like your response about the genetics.

[Guest Keating823]

What I would do is give them a smug and knowing look and say something like "You know this is genetic right? Well your time may come, and sooner than you think." This of course only applies if they are old enough to know what genes are. If they aren't I would try and enlist your parents in educating them or simply ignore them and take satisfaction in the fact that you are doing what you need to do, in a mature manner, to live as long and as pain free as you can. There is not much you can do to make these kids more adult but you can change the way you react to their teasing. If you do not react to their taunts eventually they will stop.

haha that is actually really funny. and yes, they are definitely old enough to know about genetics... they are ages 16, 23, and 25! and the oldest hasn't been tested for it yet so i'm sure that will give him a little scare haha

[bloatedntexas]

yes, i have had my share of teasings. they make comments like "hey, want to go to lunch at pot belly sandwich? oh wait, you can't eat sandwiches." they think it's cute. they make fun of my celiac shirts, too and say things like "can i get one that says, "i love my retarded cousin". this is after i have bought them one that says "someone i love is a celiac". it hurts my feelings, but they simply don't understand that celiac is real and it is painful. i try not to take personally.

[ravenwoodglass]

haha that is actually really funny. and yes, they are definitely old enough to know about genetics... they are ages 16, 23, and 25! and the oldest hasn't been tested for it yet so i'm sure that will give him a little scare haha

Any rude comments or ewhhh remarks went away after my kids and hubby were tested. They were all positive I then became the one to go to ask 'can I eat this, is this safe to use etc'. Testing of all family members is strongly encouraged because of the number of body systems that can be effected and the link to lymphomas and other nasty diseases. So..... Tell them to roll up their sleeves, or to order stool testing from Enterolab. I would be will to lay money that you are not the only one in the family.

[melrobsings]

DUDE!!! I get the same sort of thing but one that really pissed me off way at my mans company BBQ. His boss was doing corn on the grill and I said "hey dude what brand of butter do you use?" and he said "what?! Butter? Are you kidding me?!" and I said like a hard @ss "nope. what brand?" and he said "it's butter, get over it!" and my man goes "dude, she has food allergies" and he just huffed and I looked at him up and down and say "EW" (like a typical california valley girl and I totally can cause i was born and raised there!) and walked off. I didn't have my corn but I heard via my man that I go voted "coolest girl friend there" cause I "ew-ed" his boss! not to mention there was nothing there for me to eat but the smoked sausage we brought....and wine, LOTS of wine!

[Jestgar]

yes, i have had my share of teasings. they make comments like "hey, want to go to lunch at pot belly sandwich? oh wait, you can't eat sandwiches." they think it's cute. they make fun of my celiac shirts, too and say things like "can i get one that says, "i love my retarded cousin". this is after i have bought them one that says "someone i love is a celiac". it hurts my feelings, but they simply don't understand that celiac is real and it is painful. i try not to take personally.

Maybe you can suggest to them that if they can't figure out how important this is to you, you'll be forced to get a "i love my retarded cousin" shirt.

[aikiducky]

yes, i have had my share of teasings. they make comments like "hey, want to go to lunch at pot belly sandwich? oh wait, you can't eat sandwiches." they think it's cute. they make fun of my celiac shirts, too and say things like "can i get one that says, "i love my retarded cousin". this is after i have bought them one that says "someone i love is a celiac". it hurts my feelings, but they simply don't understand that celiac is real and it is painful. i try not to take personally.

I would so show up in a t-shirt that said "I love my clueless co-workers/siblings/whoever it was that made the remark" the next time I was going to see them...

Pauliina

[Guest Keating823]

it's not so much that i can't fend for myself... growing up with 3 brothers and a sister and being the second youngest i have definitely have a sense of humor and can crack a joke back but after a while it just gets annoying. i mean, how many gluten-bomb jokes can people laugh at? i have a celiac t-shirt too! it says "silly yak" and then it has a picture of a yak with crossed eyes. it's hilarious. anyways, i can't believe everyone else gets stupid celiac comments like me haha

[Jestgar]

Next time you eat with them, carry a box of ex-lax. When they offer you gluten, smile and offer them a couple pills "so we can go through this together".

[Guest Keating823]

Next time you eat with them, carry a box of ex-lax. When they offer you gluten, smile and offer them a couple pills "so we can go through this together".

hahaha sounds like a plan.

[melrobsings]

or buy the gluten-free brick bread and chuck it at them! It will knock them out cold!

[zarfkitty]

Next time you eat with them, carry a box of ex-lax. When they offer you gluten, smile and offer them a couple pills "so we can go through this together".

OMG! Now I'll have to carry a box of ex-lax in my purse so I'm never caught unprepared!! :lol: :lol:

[Teacher1958]

For some reason, my family (my 3 brothers) and my friends think it's hilarious when they are eating a really good looking sandwich or something and look at me and be like "do you want a bite? oh wait, you can't! but are you sure you don't want any? It's reallllly good!" This goes on for a while. They also like to talk about how gross my food looks and tastes when I am eating. It makes me so mad! Anybody else have that? Oh and they call me the silly-yaker... which actually I don't mind because it sounds hilarious. And when they are eating they will be like "don't eat this rach, it's a gluten-bomb!!". Yes, my family and friends are quite the jokesters.

I always say that you choose your friends, but you can't choose your relatives, unfortunately. I know you don't want to stop seeing your brothers, but I have pretty much disowned many of my relatives. They had no tact and would tease anyone about anything. I can't even imagine the ridiculous things they would say about the gluten free diet. I consider most of them a bunch of rednecks, but that's neither here nor there.

Maybe you should try to avoid as many meals as possible with your family. You could always arrive late or leave early. You could get up and walk out. You could eat your own food before you get there and go do something else while they eat. I suppose it's impossible to insult them, so that's not an option. I think I am fresh out of ideas.

[georgie]

Oh...I so need this thread...... Last night was my first family dinner at our local Pub since being diagnosed. THEY chose the venue. There was NO choice for me. I knew this - so my dear hubbie cooked a risotto before I left and I ate that at home. So ...I wasn't hungry while I sat there watching them eat their crumbed snitzels, battered fish and sauce laden food. Or the hot vegetables made with cheese sauces. Or the chips made from a packet blend. I wasn't hungry ..but ..it ..was ... so HORRIBLE

Then they kept offering me food. Or even worse - offering me a bread roll and then saying ' you can't eat this but they are nice'

The final straw was when the chocolate mud cake came out with candles etc - for the birthday lady. It had been ordered and planned but ...NOTHING was planned for me .... I used to love Mud Cake ...

One cousin - a nurse - had a smirk on her face and I knew what she was thinking. Others seem to think it was a joke too.

ARGGHH ! I swear and declare that family dinners like this are the pits and I will not attend in future. Why waste karma on negative situations - I would rather be with friends who accept me and help and support me ...

[stef-the-kicking-cuty]

haha that is actually really funny. and yes, they are definitely old enough to know about genetics... they are ages 16, 23, and 25! and the oldest hasn't been tested for it yet so i'm sure that will give him a little scare haha

And when the oldest one gets tested and it comes back negative, then you must reply "That might not save you, a negative result can become positive anytime, you have to be retested every year"... lol.

[Teacher1958]

Oh...I so need this thread...... Last night was my first family dinner at our local Pub since being diagnosed. THEY chose the venue. There was NO choice for me. I knew this - so my dear hubbie cooked a risotto before I left and I ate that at home. So ...I wasn't hungry while I sat there watching them eat their crumbed snitzels, battered fish and sauce laden food. Or the hot vegetables made with cheese sauces. Or the chips made from a packet blend. I wasn't hungry ..but ..it ..was ... so HORRIBLE

Then they kept offering me food. Or even worse - offering me a bread roll and then saying ' you can't eat this but they are nice'

The final straw was when the chocolate mud cake came out with candles etc - for the birthday lady. It had been ordered and planned but ...NOTHING was planned for me .... I used to love Mud Cake ...

One cousin - a nurse - had a smirk on her face and I knew what she was thinking. Others seem to think it was a joke too.

ARGGHH ! I swear and declare that family dinners like this are the pits and I will not attend in future. Why waste karma on negative situations - I would rather be with friends who accept me and help and support me ...

The question I asked myself was this- "If these people weren't family, would I be friends with them?"

That question pretty much answered itself. A family should support its members, not cause them emotional pain. Too many people endure untold agony because they feel that they have to spend time with their families. Always remember that it's a choice no matter how much guilt they throw at you.

[Guest Keating823]

don't get me wrong... i absolutely LOVE my family. they are my best friends. my sister is my best friend in the world, she has celiac disease too. and my brothers are so funny nice and protective of me. i mean, all my friends are jealous i have such an amazing family they are just awesome. it's just a little teasing. i mean, i tease my 25 year old brother for being as tall as a giant and my younger brother for being an idiot. haha i just thought it would be AWESOME to just be able to vent about those stupid times when you just get SO FRUSTRATED with having this stupid disease.

[ravenwoodglass]

don't get me wrong... i absolutely LOVE my family. they are my best friends. my sister is my best friend in the world, she has celiac disease too. and my brothers are so funny nice and protective of me. i mean, all my friends are jealous i have such an amazing family they are just awesome. it's just a little teasing. i mean, i tease my 25 year old brother for being as tall as a giant and my younger brother for being an idiot. haha i just thought it would be AWESOME to just be able to vent about those stupid times when you just get SO FRUSTRATED with having this stupid disease.

And this is a good safe place to vent all you need. We all need to vent and it does not mean that you love them any less, and if teasing is something you guys have always done in a good natured way it doesn't mean they love you less. But if it does bother you it may be a good idea to sit down with them and tell them why.

[par18]

don't get me wrong... i absolutely LOVE my family. they are my best friends. my sister is my best friend in the world, she has celiac disease too. and my brothers are so funny nice and protective of me. i mean, all my friends are jealous i have such an amazing family they are just awesome. it's just a little teasing. i mean, i tease my 25 year old brother for being as tall as a giant and my younger brother for being an idiot. haha i just thought it would be AWESOME to just be able to vent about those stupid times when you just get SO FRUSTRATED with having this stupid disease.

Actually the disease is pretty smart. It responds to the diet . It is the uneducated masses (including doctors, co-workers, family members and friends) who are STUPID! After all "stupid is as stupid does".

Tom

[kbtoyssni]

It's too bad it's your family doing this, because it's a little harder to cut them out of your life than friends. Do you ever bring yummy gluten-free food to share at family events? I know this probably isn't going to work with people like this, but I like to show everyone how yummy and normal my food is. I make gluten-free cakes all the time and bring them to work. About 30 seconds after I send out the email I've got a line of people waiting for a piece.

Seriously, though, you don't need this kind of negative influence in your life. I'd tell them to stop it and if it doesn't, stop hanging around at meal time.