Moral Dilemna

[Guhlia]

Okay, so I've been diagnosed for over 3 years now and I'm really conscious now about food, allergies, and how they affect people. Recently a business "friend" of ours had a really nasty accident, he fell 30 ft. and shattered feet and ankles. He's currently home awaiting swelling to go down so he can undergo surgery. He's a really nice guy and recently did us a HUGE favor. Anyway, we wanted to send him a gift basket of some sort to wish him well. We ordered a snack basket filled with candy, pretzels, chips, and cookies. It really bothered me though that I was sending something like that. What is he's diabetic or allergic to wheat or...? Has anyone else felt the same in a similar situation? I mean, I'm sure it will be fine and he'll be able to enjoy the basket and all, it just really bothered me sending that. Am I being overly sensitive or is that a legitimate concern?

[blueeyedmanda]

Actually Angie, you bring up a very valid concern. Today there are so many people who for medical reasons are on special diets. I bet you are more aware of this now since you and Tori are gluten free. You are right he probably will enjoy the basket. It is a good point though. One I would not have thought of.

[Ursa Major]

Yes, I think it is a legitimate concern. That is why I would have sent a fruit basket instead, or bought reading material as in non-food items. Because eating gluteny foods is especially not great when lying around, either.

Still, I am sure he appreciates your gifts and the get-well wishes, even if he has a problem with the foods.

[mama2]

I think about that stuff now too. My husband is a football coach and we sometimes feed some of the guys dinner troughout the year. Since being diag I am always asking him to make sure none of them have any food alleregies. I feel bad feeding them to much gluten the night b/f a game, so I now make my meetballs and desserts gluten-free.

Your gift was thoughtful and that is what counts!=)

[mamaw]

Hi Angie

I bet he will appreciate your kindness... What I usually do is called the person's family member & ask if there are any diet restrictions. Or like Ursula I send fruit or non-food items that I know the person is interested in.

I do believe it is the thought that counts & I bet all will be fine. I receive things that I know people know I can't have but I always send back a " How thoughtful of you note to remember me" .I try not to make a big deal out of I can't eat the goodies enclosed but I focus on the fact that someone cared enough to think of me. I then pass the gift onto someone who needs it & can eat it.....

I get smelly candles & stuff like that for the holidays & I always have to pass them on to others as I'm so sensitives to smells.....

You are so sweet to appreciate the help you received & this iisthe most important..

Love that baby.

mamaw

[Ridgewalker]

I agree with everyone else, you're not being overly sensitive or paranoid. You're being thoughtful and considerate!

You know, this got me thinking... If 1 in 133 people (or more) are affected by Celiac Disease, someone should start a business making gluten-free gift baskets. Or gift baskets for several common allergies and intolerances, to open up the target market even more.

For that matter, it could be a good idea for a fund raiser for Celiac research.

-Sarah

[Guhlia]

There actually is a company that makes gluten free gift baskets. They're really expensive though. I can't remember who it is. I'm sure a google search would bring something up.

[Kaycee]

Yes I think it is a good point you have raised. I will in future think twice before I buy a food related gift for someone. I think buying chocolate and yummy things is easier for me to do than try to figure out whether they have read this book or not. I have got the worst imagination imaginable.

Also don't feel too bad about the present. I think all of us have to take responsibility for our own health, and if there was something in the care package that he couldn't have, ultimately it would be his choice whether he eats it or not.

Don;t feel bad, you are a wonderful friend to have

Cathy

[kevsmom]

Angie, The gift was so thoughtful of you, even if you are having second thoughts. I'm sure that he has people in and out visiting and helping him, since he really can't do a whole lot for himself at this time. He can always offer a snack to his visitors .

Your avitar is beautiful!!! Congratulations, again.

Cindy

[tarnalberry]

I have thought about that, but in a case like that, I'd probably call, and find out if there were any food intolerances, and then proceed. (Or send an email or phone call, or something like that.) But it's something to be aware of - and a good thing to check on.

[Guest thatchickali]

I definately think like that too. I got a thank you gift, that was tons of gluten-filled things, it really hurt a lot because the person knew I had celiac disease and I thought it was more thoughtless than thoughtful...but some people just never get it.

I just got diagnosed this summer and I already told my family, I will be hosting a gluten-free Thanksgiving dinner at my house, you are all welcome to come, and I am planning on baking gluten-free cakes for birthdays and when my boyfriend has a long day I make him a gluten free meal even though he doesn't have to have it.

I bought the mix to make a cake for my room mates birthday and she said to me, "If you make a gluten free cake for me I'm not going to eat it, but you can eat it." Some people just don't understand but I know that if I had a need for a gift basket I would love for someone to go out of their way to get me something Gluten Free. That's kind of off subject, but still...

[Ridgewalker]

I bought the mix to make a cake for my room mates birthday and she said to me, "If you make a gluten free cake for me I'm not going to eat it, but you can eat it." Some people just don't understand

I have to say, that's one of the most appalling rude, ungrateful, and thoughtless statements I've ever heard in my life! What kind of attitude is this, That birthday cake that you're making for me doesn't have my favorite kind of flour in it, so it's gross and I'm not eating it...

"Not getting it" is no excuse for rudeness, IMHO. I'm sorry you had to deal with that!

-Sarah

[psawyer]

I have to say, that's one of the most appalling rude, ungrateful, and thoughtless statements I've ever heard in my life! What kind of attitude is this, That birthday cake that you're making for me doesn't have my favorite kind of flour in it, so it's gross and I'm not eating it...

"Not getting it" is no excuse for rudeness, IMHO. I'm sorry you had to deal with that!

-Sarah

Amen.

[NoGluGirl]

Dear Angie,

It is wonderful you are so considerate of others' needs! Many people do not think of such things. Most of society wanders around thinking about themselves and that is it! We all are happy to know someone who is not like that! You are a great friend, and a caring human being.

Sincerely,

NoGluGirl

P.S. Congratulations on your new baby!

Dear Ali,

I know people like that, too. If your friend does not like it, it is her loss! More for you! Happy birthday to her, and you get the cake! She does not deserve it if she is going to be unappreciative and rude.

[JNBunnie1]

Dear Angie,

It is wonderful you are so considerate of others' needs! Many people do not think of such things. Most of society wanders around thinking about themselves and that is it! We all are happy to know someone who is not like that! You are a great friend, and a caring human being.

Sincerely,

NoGluGirl

P.S. Congratulations on your new baby!

Dear Ali,

I know people like that, too. If your friend does not like it, it is her loss! More for you! Happy birthday to her, and you get the cake! She does not deserve it if she is going to be unappreciative and rude.

Amen, again. I find myself bringing people funny books and crossword puzzles and joke books and videos (preferably of comedians) and pretty much anything I can think of to give them a giggle, because laughter is pretty much the only exercise he's going to get lying on the couch, and it helps you feel better. If I know what the person likes I bring them food, too.

[NoGluGirl]

Dear JNBunnie1,

I always have a list I make handy for everyone. That makes things much easier for birthdays, anniversaries, and Christmas. I include foods, but have many other things as well. It can be anything from favorite stores and restaurants, to their favorite artwork. I am good at finding gifts. I also know how to save money on the good stuff. I have actually been considering being a personal shopper. Many people just do not have the time at Christmas to get things, and would rather pay someone else to do it on top of wrapping gifts!

Sincerely,

NoGluGirl

[Mountaineer Josh]

Speaking as the only male on this topic, I believe your being overly sensitive. There are other things to worry about out there in the world.

[Guhlia]

Thanks for the male perspective, Josh.

An update, Keith received the snack basket and called us immediately to thank us. He said that it was a "man's" basket and he really appreciated the change from the flowers that he's been receiving.

[JNBunnie1]

Thanks for the male perspective, Josh.

An update, Keith received the snack basket and called us immediately to thank us. He said that it was a "man's" basket and he really appreciated the change from the flowers that he's been receiving.

HAHAHAH!!!! Well, in THAT case, Blue collar comedy tour is probably what I would have sent!

[NoGluGirl]

Dear Angie,

That is great to hear! I had a feeling you did the right thing! Flowers are not exactly a guy thing. At least, not most of the time. When a guy needs a gift, they can be difficult to buy for. If you are another man, you have a better idea of what the other guy wants.

As Josh said, men do not worry as much as women. There are times where that is a very good thing. We tend to be people pleasers. That can wear us down. Since we often worry when it is not necessary, it is a lot of wasted energy. The thing is, it is our nature as women.

Dear JNBunnie1,

ROTFLMAO! I love the Blue Collar Comedy Tour! I love Larry The Cable Guy! He is so hilarious! Git-R-Done! I have a shirt that says that. Dad got it while he was in Texas.

Sincerely,

NoGluGirl

[loco-ladi]

I try to do a plant with special meaning... I recently gave a peace lily to my friend when she tragically lost her husband. she loves flowers and the name and type fit the occation. With people not as close food is typical but does pose dangers I have tried to get away from but thinking of something nonfood to give instead.

Others feel uncomfortable around "us" and I think its because they either dont understand or dont want to try.

Due to other reasons in my life I am currently working "in the yard" (switching out broken cars from the trains) so i am home every night and generally work with or close to the same people each day....

Its common practice to bring in "treats" to share with the others, I noticed shortly after my return to the yard and discussions about celiac based issues others stopped doing that...... now my thought was, thats nice but not at the same time...

I started the tradition again by making up a fantasic batch of "cause your special" brownies with chocolate chips (my little addition) and they were a big hit, although I had to guilt my trainmaster/boss into trying one, he was scared I basically said "your worried they will taste nasty", and I dared hiim to try one little bite and if he didnt love them I would pay him $1 ..... I still have my $1 and he finished off 2 before he left!

everyone loved them and they look forward to my treats each week..... They also found there is more to a gluten free diet than they thought.... I have found they pay closer attention when they buy things to share, and I leave a few little goodies in my locker to eat when theirs cant be eaten....

Another little side note.... now everyone is adding "frito's" to their salads they think its great!

[corinne]

Wow - your friend is very lucky to be alive. I rockclimb and the stats say that less than 10% of people survive a groundfall over 25 feet. He's got a rough road ahead with the injuries and is fortunate have thoughtful friends such as you.

[Guhlia]

Wow, really?!?!?! I knew he was lucky to be alive, but I didn't know quite how lucky he was. Also, the injuries aren't as bad as initially thought, so things are really looking up for him. He will definitely walk again which is way cool considering how he landed.

[NoGluGirl]

Dear Angie,

Your friend must have an angel watching over him! I know a doctor I used to have had a daughter who fell 30 feet.

She was like your friend, where she had a long way to recovery, but amazingly survived the horrible fall. Garden of the Gods has had many people die from falling there. Our doctor's daughter's back was in bad shape, but she made a full recovery. Tell your friend he can do it!

Sincerely,

NoGluGirl

[shimo]

Okay, so I've been diagnosed for over 3 years now and I'm really conscious now about food, allergies, and how they affect people. Recently a business "friend" of ours had a really nasty accident, he fell 30 ft. and shattered feet and ankles. He's currently home awaiting swelling to go down so he can undergo surgery. He's a really nice guy and recently did us a HUGE favor. Anyway, we wanted to send him a gift basket of some sort to wish him well. We ordered a snack basket filled with candy, pretzels, chips, and cookies. It really bothered me though that I was sending something like that. What is he's diabetic or allergic to wheat or...? Has anyone else felt the same in a similar situation? I mean, I'm sure it will be fine and he'll be able to enjoy the basket and all, it just really bothered me sending that. Am I being overly sensitive or is that a legitimate concern?

I really never thought about this, but I guess I am going to start asking people before sending chocolates on christmas.

Very valid concern indeed.