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The Roommate Situation Is Worse...

num1habsfan

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num1habsfan Rising Star
num1habsfan
Posted

OK this is going to be too long but I have to get it out of my system because i'm definitely having an emotional breakdown... :(

View your entire conversation history with this contact

ok well i got another threatening letter from Access (TV/internet), because this b**** downloads stuff all day and night even though we got a warning before, and i had enough. i called mom about it and she was like "give me her phone # NOW"

so shes supposed to phone her, and her parents, or at the least get a hold of her parents. and likely tell her to leave/start packing her things. like and her access bills are still overdue from DECEMBER and powerbill from i think november (her share). She has $89 in overdue, which makes my credit look VERY BAD.

i just talked to my landlord that i can get a single apartment (unfortunately a basement one) march 1st. Even if mom does kick her out i'm still going to go into the single. As it is, thats $650/month.

AND if I leave, because I paid the full damage deposit, she would have to pay me $200 for her share of it

the contract termination is as easy as one of us writing a note to him saying we're leaving

its really too much for me, i cant even stop crying right now :(

its also good thing i've been dealing with the bank for a long time, and me/my parents know the main lady well. because shes letting me have an extra loan until I can cash in my bonus builder account on oct 4th, then use that as payments towards the loan. since i have no money left in my student loan,and once i pay rent will be down to $18 :( .

The saddest part is that most of my loan was for specialty food/meds!! in 2006 the total between the 2 was $2650, and 2007 $2500 + the $750 of bus tickets to calgary appointments. So over $6000 just to live. I dont even BUY regular groceries, my mom pays for all of that.

I also got told this morning that basically my health clearly doesnt matter to the university, even though I explained clearly what i've been going through. I still have to get a 65% average and she's telling me to-retake a couple classes I already did. Because I'm not taking 5 classes this semester, I will have the fall 2008 semester to get my average to 65%. If I dont, I'm kicked out until winter 2010. THAT was enough emotions going through me for one day, its a bunch of BULL. I even stressed that I'm registered with the disability office and that SIAST excused me for too low of an average/low attendance because of health, but they really dont care about that here. I think that should be illegal. If someone is disabled/very ill medically we should have special considerations/exemptions and NOT be expected to be like a regular/healthy person.

AHHHHHHH and i know once the roommate gets home she's going to tear my head off and make me feel like more crap.

I really can't handle this. I'm usually so strong but not now, not anymore.... :( :( :(

~ Lisa ~

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Phyllis28 Apprentice
Phyllis28
Posted

Sending hugs. Once you move in on your own there should be less stress. Hopefully, less stress will improve your health.

jerseyangel Proficient
jerseyangel
Posted

Lisa :( It's just one thing after another for you--I'm glad that at least you were able to vent and get it all out.

I agree that once you are on your own, and don't have to deal with your roommate anymore, things will hopefully settle down and you can focus on your health and school.

Try and take things one day at a time--hugs and good thoughts! :)

~alex~ Explorer
~alex~
Posted

i just talked to my landlord that i can get a single apartment (unfortunately a basement one) march 1st. Even if mom does kick her out i'm still going to go into the single. As it is, thats $650/month.

AND if I leave, because I paid the full damage deposit, she would have to pay me $200 for her share of it

Does your mom have the authority to kick your roommate out? Is your name the only name on the rental agreement? If that is the case and your roommate is not named on the lease, do you have a written agreement with her? If you do have a contract with her, you would probably have to give her a certain amount of notice before kicking her out (2 months). I'm not sure what your lease situation is -- it sounds very complicated.

Don't you get the damage deposit back? Or is there damage?

If your unable to attend class a large proportion of the time it might be wise to take a medical leave of absence. I know it's not the ideal situation but it would probably be better than getting kicked out for academic failure and than having to take the mandatory year off before re-enrolling. But if you don't have a documented illness it might be difficult to be approved for a medical leave of absence.

num1habsfan Rising Star
num1habsfan
Posted
  • Author
Does your mom have the authority to kick your roommate out? Is your name the only name on the rental agreement? If that is the case and your roommate is not named on the lease, do you have a written agreement with her? If you do have a contract with her, you would probably have to give her a certain amount of notice before kicking her out (2 months). I'm not sure what your lease situation is -- it sounds very complicated.

Don't you get the damage deposit back? Or is there damage?

If your unable to attend class a large proportion of the time it might be wise to take a medical leave of absence. I know it's not the ideal situation but it would probably be better than getting kicked out for academic failure and than having to take the mandatory year off before re-enrolling. But if you don't have a documented illness it might be difficult to be approved for a medical leave of absence.

I did say, to end the contract for at least one month in advance, its as simple as writing a note for the landlord saying you're leaving.

My mom is the one who got this apartment for me in the first place, and the person who told the landlord to cancel the contract I had and start a new one with her. In fact when this idiot was trying to convince us to live together, she talked to my mom about it and not so much me. So I think we do have the right.

TheTOTAL damage deposit was $400. I paid all of that. Therefore she has to pay me the $200 for her share if I leave. If she goes I obviously owe her nothing and have the advantage.

.................

And Patti, thank you for your hugs. You're right, this is just a neverending battle for me and I want it to stop already :(. You've always been one who have supported me right from the beginning and I couldnt be more greatful.

~ Lis ~

ravenwoodglass Mentor
ravenwoodglass
Posted

With everything you have had going on you certainly don't need more stress. ((((((((HUGS)))))))) I hope the roommate situation gets resolved soon. I also agree that if you can a medical leave of absence from school might be the way to go if you can. I know that might be disappointing but you want to be able to do your best and with all the health problems you have going on that would be hard. Anyway I hope you all get this settled soon.

melrobsings Contributor
melrobsings
Posted

I'll kick your room mates butt! ;):D

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num1habsfan Rising Star
num1habsfan
Posted
  • Author
With everything you have had going on you certainly don't need more stress. ((((((((HUGS)))))))) I hope the roommate situation gets resolved soon. I also agree that if you can a medical leave of absence from school might be the way to go if you can. I know that might be disappointing but you want to be able to do your best and with all the health problems you have going on that would be hard. Anyway I hope you all get this settled soon.

Thanksss *hugs back*"

I just talked to my dad. He said my mom called him earlier at work all upset telling him what happened, and he hasn't spoke to her yet, but she told him shes definitely phoning my roommate's parents. So i dont know how that went. he's going to try phone the cable company for me. Told him I can get a place for March 1st and he's not objecting to it at all(which is a good thing). He's already asking what day of the week it is and stuff like that. He's going to talk to my mom about it and get back to me..

Problem is, I have a whole 2 days to decide :o

~ LIsa ~

Adelle Enthusiast
Adelle
Posted

If you have do decide between your own place and a place with a new roommate, go with living alone!!!! I've never had a good roommate experience. Living alone is always better, even if you're broke!!

I'm so glad this situation is getting resolved!!

num1habsfan Rising Star
num1habsfan
Posted
  • Author

I am one more step closer to freedom!!!!!!! Talked to mom and she said take it. Now once i catch my breath, gonna call the landlord back. Will keep you guys updated!!

~ Lisa ~

num1habsfan Rising Star
num1habsfan
Posted
  • Author

Whooo all I have to do is drop off a rent cheque and a letter saying i'm leaving out of the contract today in the mail box, and its an all go!!!!!!!!!

28 days to freedom! :lol:

~ Lisa ~

jerseyangel Proficient
jerseyangel
Posted

Ah--there is light at the end of the tunnel! :D

So glad to hear this, Lisa!

Ursa Major Collaborator
Ursa Major
Posted

Lisa, what a nightmare! I am glad you're finally getting out of this miserable relationship with this awful roommate from hell :blink: . I hope that once you live on your own that you will be able to concentrate better on your studies and get better grades. And I bet once you are not under so much stress that your health will improve as well.

num1habsfan Rising Star
num1habsfan
Posted
  • Author

Thanks guys!! Though for right now I can't be too happy...I know whats coming: a lot of stomping, swearing, insults, and major threats from her side of things. My guess is that it'll be much more than I can tolerate :(:ph34r: . And that'll be because: my parents will not let her keep this apartment. and rightfully so....they paid for the advance rent and the damage deposit, plus setting up power and tv/internet. Sooo $1200, vs. $0. BIG advantage point over my parents, yes??? She never paid a single thing to them!!! :o .

Mom said to me "i'll call her tonight". She wants to handle that part herself. I'm so terrified of either when she walks in that door tonight, or when i get back from my night class (whichever happens first after mom calls). The last time she was very angry she seriously POUNDED on my bedroom door and stomped in here, which is definitely invasion of privacy, and then treatened me, I nearly called the cops. I think if she gets bad enough like that again, I will...if it goes too far :/

~ Lisa ~

Ursa Major Collaborator
Ursa Major
Posted

Lisa, do you have any friends where you are? It might be a good idea to have somebody with you when she gets there tonight, for your protection.

If she threatens you and gets abusive you would have every right to call the cops and have her kicked out of your apartment sooner than the end of February.

jerseyangel Proficient
jerseyangel
Posted
Lisa, do you have any friends where you are? It might be a good idea to have somebody with you when she gets there tonight, for your protection.

This is exactly what I was going to say--you don't want to be alone when she gets there. Plus, you want a witness ;)

num1habsfan Rising Star
num1habsfan
Posted
  • Author

No i dont know anyone else really. The only friend I have here in the city is the person who's also kinda friends with her. So he doesnt want to be involved (but at this point, he's on my side after I reminded him about her owing $600+ to us). Besides him, nobody else :(. If anything, I will record it on my digital camera....so I at least have the voice of her reaction.

~ Lisa ~

lisal Newbie
lisal
Posted

Yikes, I remember when I was young and had my fair share of bad roomies. It's quite difficult to deal with certain situations. I kicked one out, got along horribly with another... it's all very stressful. If you can live alone, it is easier to do so in my opinion. No one getting into your stuff or skimping on costs. Your roomie sounds like a short tempered person. If I were you, I would try and get that friend to come for a visit to help diffuse the situation.

Good luck.

Judyin Philly Enthusiast
Judyin Philly
Posted

LOTS OF GOOD IDEAS HERE LISA...........PLEASE STAY SAFE AS YOU HAVE A LITE AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL NOW ;) HANG IN THERE KIDO.

JUDY

num1habsfan Rising Star
num1habsfan
Posted
  • Author

Ahh about 25 minutes until I'm out of class and back to the apartment. my parents were out of town and i'm sure they are already back so that means she must have got the phone call from my mom by now...*scared* :ph34r:

~ Lisa ~

num1habsfan Rising Star
num1habsfan
Posted
  • Author

AHHHHHh this is NOT FAIR!!!!! :( . Why did my parents get my hopes all up about making her leave too?? WE did all the work to get this apartment, and SHE GETS TO STAY?!?! ...ane she apparently already has a replacement for me. Why do I try to make things works, they obviously dont :( :( *cries*

~ Lisa ~

Judyin Philly Enthusiast
Judyin Philly
Posted

LISA

:blink: i'M CONFUSED??????????????????/

iS SHE STAYING IN THE APT YOU PAID THE SECURITY DEPOSIT ON AND GETTING A NEW ROOMMATE AND YOUR GOING TO A BASEMENT APT??????????//

DID YOUR PARENTS CALL HER AND HER PARENTS TONIGHT?????????????

ravenwoodglass Mentor
ravenwoodglass
Posted
AHHHHHh this is NOT FAIR!!!!! :( . Why did my parents get my hopes all up about making her leave too?? WE did all the work to get this apartment, and SHE GETS TO STAY?!?! ...ane she apparently already has a replacement for me. Why do I try to make things works, they obviously dont :( :( *cries*

~ Lisa ~

(((((((((HUGS)))))))))

We recently went through roommate hell with my son. He moved to the other end of the country and locked into a lease for $1,200 a month. Both of the guys and my DH signed the lease. About 3 months into the lease the roommate stopped paying rent and began using every opportunity he could to gluten my DS. To say the last year was roommate hell is the understatement, I won't go into details but this guys habits were very risky and my DS was unable to get him to leave because he was on the lease. We ended up having my son leave the apt even though it meant this jerk got to live there rent free for the 3 month remainder of the lease. We had cosigned so we had no choice.

It may not seem fair to have her keep the apartment but that may be the only way out of it. At least she is looking for a roommate to take over your half of the lease.

I think once you get into your own place and are moved in and looking at your gluten free cupboards, your personal stuff put where you want it and left there safely, your couch and chairs that are only going to have your freinds sitting on them, you walk in after class and find peace and quiet and a place to relax and study and take a deep breath you will be able to see that although inconvienent it was the way to go. I hope once you get moved you are able to get past what caused you to have to move into a single and enjoy the peace and tranquility.

num1habsfan Rising Star
num1habsfan
Posted
  • Author
(((((((((HUGS)))))))))

We recently went through roommate hell with my son. He moved to the other end of the country and locked into a lease for $1,200 a month. Both of the guys and my DH signed the lease. About 3 months into the lease the roommate stopped paying rent and began using every opportunity he could to gluten my DS. To say the last year was roommate hell is the understatement, I won't go into details but this guys habits were very risky and my DS was unable to get him to leave because he was on the lease. We ended up having my son leave the apt even though it meant this jerk got to live there rent free for the 3 month remainder of the lease. We had cosigned so we had no choice.

It may not seem fair to have her keep the apartment but that may be the only way out of it. At least she is looking for a roommate to take over your half of the lease.

I think once you get into your own place and are moved in and looking at your gluten free cupboards, your personal stuff put where you want it and left there safely, your couch and chairs that are only going to have your freinds sitting on them, you walk in after class and find peace and quiet and a place to relax and study and take a deep breath you will be able to see that although inconvienent it was the way to go. I hope once you get moved you are able to get past what caused you to have to move into a single and enjoy the peace and tranquility.

Thank you **hugs back**. This place will end up costing me about $750 a month, the cost of a double apartment, including the power and tv/internet (which I cant avoid either seeing as everything for the school IS on internet). I'm greatful that heat and water is included, no more fighting to freeze, can turn up the thermostat all i want now without it being turned down!!

Yes, the gluten-free food thing is what i'm looking forward to the most. I never never been able to actually keep my own food if it wasnt in the totes or a small cupboard, this way it will be all on its own, where I want it, easy to find, etc. The bedroom will be much bigger so I will actually have room for stuff and won't have to do homework on my bed. There will be no distractions keeping me from focusing on my homework. Like one of you said, the grades are bound to go up now for sure.

27 days can't come soon enough.....

~ Lisa ~

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