Playdates (gluten-free/cf/sf Pie Recipe Link Included)

[tgrand]

I hope everyone had a wonderful Gluten Free Memorial Day. I know we did. My husband and I cooked a yummy brisket, pinto beans and I made some fried okra with organic gluten free corn meal. Oh, and don't forget my homemade strawberry lemonade and my lime coconut custard pie (casein free and soy free too!). Boy, did we eat good! Who needs hamburgers and hotdogs! Just wanted to share a successful holiday experience. I'll share the pie recipe link below.

Now, onto the need some advice part. My daughter and I are both gluten and casein free, gluten-free since Oct 07 and CF since Apr 08. She's 2 years old. I am very involved with a Mommy and Me group that I helped to start. Well, my friends aren't very supportive, to be honest, even my more inner core group. I mean they are to an extent, but not as much as I would like. I would love to host playdates at my house, but they told me I shouldn't becuase it would be too rude to ask people to not bring their toddler's gluteny snacks to my house. All most kids eat are teddy grahams, pretzels, goldfish, crackers and I don't want that in my house b/c toddlers would get that everywhere! I just want to host our friends and would gladly provide decent safe foods for everyone. I was planning the summer calendar for the group and thought that a playdate with a kiddie pool and sprinklers would be so fun for the kids to host at our place. I thought that serving watermelon, popsickles and even those disgusting non-food and totally not good for you chewy "fruit" snacks that many kids eat to ensure several choices that are gluten free. One of my closest friends nixed the idea. Am I just so self involved to think that my 'friends" could deny themselves of gluten for 2 hours to come to our house? Is that really too much to ask here? I am really confused. There have been other comments and situations I won't go into here, like do all Celiacs have OCD, and so on. I am just wondering if I'm expecting too much from my friends or if I need to find new more supportive friends. My DD had a friend in her MDO class who has an egg allergy and her brother is allergic to peanuts. They made the school totally peanut free b/c of him. I wouldn't dream of ever going to their house and bringing peanut contaminated food over. Just wanting some help in discernment. I hate to leave this group after all I have put into it, but they make it hard for me to be a part and seem to leave me on the outside since I'm apparently obsessed with this strange diet, b/c of course I chose this for myself and our family b/c it's fun, trendy and so easy, ya know! But, seriously I guess it also hurts b/c I was really sick with a laundry list of health complications and still have a lot to overcome. My DD's growth was stunted somewhat and recently she grew 2 1/2 inches in just 6 weeks time once we eliminated casein in addition to gluten. Doesn't that make this serious stuff?

Thanks to everyone who reads this post and I welcome any comments, opinions or advice on how to handle this situation.

Lime Coconut Pie Recipe - Open Original Shared Link

Blessings!

TGrand

[stolly]

I would invite everyone for the playdate with a heads up that you plan to provide all of the food so you can offer treats everyone (including you and your daughter) can enjoy. There are plenty of things you can offer...fruit, gluten free pretzels/chips/cookies, or whatever you and your daughter would typically have as snacks (sorry, I don't know much about casein free, so you would know best what would work). I would not risk having lots of gluten crumbs spread in the house by a group of toddlers when you would be the one who would have to clean up.

Just wanted to add that this is all new to me, but I feel pretty strongly that your friends should just roll with this. My DD 2.5 has been gluten-free since March, she is the only one in our family. I have served some gluten foods (really only potato rolls that don't crumble much) in our home to my parents and close family because they are all very good about washing hands and minimizing mess. However, I certainly wouldn't serve them during a 2 hour toddler playdate that doesn't need to revolve around food anyway. I plan to keep her 3rd birthday party completely gluten free...I need to do some planning now!

[lizard00]

I don't think you are self-involved at all. I agree with the PP, tell them that you will provide the snacks. Isn't that what most people would do anyway??? Did your friend give you a reason why she didn't think it was a good idea? I mean, watermelon(for sure) and even popsicles (some) are usually better than pretzels or goldfish.

And if they can't seem to get it, ask them to put themselves in your shoes. Would they feed their children poison? Because that's what you're doing if you feel your daughter gluten. I seriously don't understand why people just can't seem to get it. If it was their child they would be expect you to be accomodating. Perhaps you can get them some info that explain why this diet is so important for your family's ongoing health.

And your cookout sounded DELICIOUS!!! I do love brisket, it was the best meal we had in our week stay of Texas!!

[dandelionmom]

My friend's son has a peanut allergy and no one thinks it is odd that she asks people not to bring food. I don't see why anyone would be offended especially if you're offering to provide snacks.

[kbtoyssni]

I don't get what your friends' problem is with not bringing their own snacks, either. Do they think their children will starve if they don't have goldfish or pretzels??? It's a short party, even if their kid hates your food they'll be fine. And I think your food sounds great. What kid doesn't love watermelon and popsicles?

I don't think you're self involved for wanting to protect your and your daughter's health. These get-togethers are social events, meant for your kids to learn to play together and for the moms to have some adult time. It's not about the food. I've got plenty of great friends who are perfectly ok with not bringing gluten into my house. And if any of them had a food allergy, I wouldn't bring that food to their house. It's just a common courtesy, a way of showing you care enough about the other person to think of their needs. That's what friendship is.

[dbmamaz]

I'm also disconcerted that your closest freind nixed the idea . .. doesnt sound like a good freind to me. I would have a serious talk with her and try to understand why she is so negative, and try to explain to her why its so important to you. and if that doesnt help, look for new freinds

I do know some toddlers can be very, very picky about their favorite foods. However, consider making gluten-free chex mix with rice chex and gluten-free pretzels!! What toddler could resist that?!

[Tori's Dad]

I can't answer your question as to whether you are expecting too much from your friends, but I can tell you what we have come to expect....nothing. Our attitude has been that we expect absolutely nothing from friends and family. That way we are never dissapointed.

I will add that we have been so blessed in that we have gotten tons of support from friends and family and that is awesome. But, when there is the encounter with a thoughtless person it rolls off our back because we never expected them to be supportive anyway.

I too don't understand why someone would not let thier child come to your house without bringing a snack???? That doesn't make any sense so I suggest you make sure they understand that you will allow them to eat and will provide plenty of snacks.

If they want to bring goldfish crackers over, our stance has been to let them. Tori is 7 now and has been gluten-free for 2 years and she already understands, and is comfortable with, the fact that other people will be eating things that she can't. I know that's hard for a todler to grasp but they will probably surprise you.

[home-based-mom]

Invite your "friends" to this forum to read for an hour. That way they can see just how sick people get and that you have very good reasons for needing to keep your home gluten free.

If they are still unsupportive, then maybe they are not such good friends after all. (ouch)

Is there a R.O.C.K. group in your area?

For what it's worth, I buy the gluten-free snacks for my church nursery, and the parents are asked not to bring baggies full of Goldfish, Cheerios, etc. Everyone seems to be fine with that.

[Juliebove]

I have never had a kid come over to play who brought their own snacks. Now my daughter generally does bring her own. Now because of the food allergies, but prior because I am picky about what she eats and unless I know the family is as picky as I am such as serving low or no sugar and organic foods.

I uaed to get a lot of flack from some people by sending her snacks. They felt I was being unfair to her and not letting her have the good stuff the other kids got to eat. It's a different story now though. My daughter is allergic to peanuts among other things. I think having a peanut allergy sets off alarm bells to some people because they consider it to be a dangerous thing. So they are fine with me sending her snacks.

[ShayFL]

If you ever want to have a fun "food based" party with kids, you can have them make "friendship fruit salad". Each mom/kid can bring their favorite fruit. Then everyone gathers in an appropriate spot and using plastic knives to cut some fruit an putting it all into a big bowl, mixing and then serving in fun cups.

[gfpaperdoll]

just my opinion, but life is about changes, I would find new friends...

you can start a gluten-free play group as easily as you started that one...