Venting....i'll Just Stop Talking To Anyone

[MELINE]

Sorry for the venting and for all my frustration but I am NEVER GONNA TELL ANYONE HOW I FEEL AGAIN

I had nausea again today and I told my mother that I have extremely severe headaches again, nausea, bloating, tingling on my toes, pain in my ears and I feel so so tired again and I asked her if other people feel bad after eating (cause I keep feeling bad most of the times after eating) and she said the magic words.....

"It is all in your head. You get so tired at work, you work out too much and you are so sensitive. That is why you THINK YOU HAVE ALL THESE THINGS."

NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO I WILL NOT ACCEPT THAT.

And best of all.....she admitted she did put gluten in my food last week and there she goes! she has her proof. I did not complain about anything!!!! so it is in my head. And the doctor is ignorant!!!! And it is not possible to be 29 years old, with no severe problems so far, and to start having celiac now. And the young lady from the health store told her that she never heard of anybody having so many problems with food. AND SHE KNOWS BETTER. !!!!!

Ήμαρτον δηλαδή δεν ΑΝΤΕΧΩ. ΠΑΝΕ ΚΑΛΑ???????????Αν ειναι δυνατόν!!!!!!!!!

Ok that was in Greek but I needed to get it out.

[Jestgar]

Ήμαρτον δηλαδή δεν ΑΝΤΕΧΩ. ΠΑΝΕ ΚΑΛΑ???????????Αν ειναι δυνατόν!!!!!!!!!

Exactly!!

sorry you're frustrated (and feel like crap)

[MELINE]

Exactly!!

sorry you're frustrated (and feel like crap)

Guess my post was full of anger...hahahahahahaha......

But yes it feels like that......

[ShayFL]

That's crap....her slipping the gluten in your food. It would be like me thinking my Mom's thyroid problems were all in her head and replacing some of her meds with sugar pills. Id be pissed too.

[dollamasgetceliac?]

I really feel sorry for you , because I feel sorry for myself today. Yes you can be 29 or39 or 9 and have Crohn's, Celiac , Food allergies and a Doctor who thinks that it is all in your head .

And you have a loving mother who wants to prove that her little girl is healthy. In a way she is proving her love to you because she gave birth to a perfect child and some people can not stop expressing there love with food.

food does not = love!

I am so sick and fed up with telling people how I feel, why do they ask? i sometimes simply lie. Then I feel guilty and tell the truth: Then i feel bad that i told the truth and I get told that i have to stop thinking about my body.

My God how can I stop thinking about my body when i have pain in my stomach so bad that it feels like a blender is turning in it. After that I get numbness in half my face, I get acid reflux, tingling in my feet or they get really cold( My mom says wear socks) Yup I thought of the socks too but they do not help.

I feel like that other people see me as that is the women who is always sick. When i lost so much weight last year that is when all the overweight people got jelouse and the thin people got scared( that now I am on their side) All I can think is I better feed myself or I will colapse. i did gain back the weight and now everyone likes me again

Either way you know your body best, God gave us a gift that we know what is best for us. The Doctor told me I should do Yoga , so that I stop thinking of my body, that was before my dx. now he seems a little sheepish ( that it took so long for the dx. My new motto is this : i will only tell you guys how I feel, because everyone else will not understand or sometimes I worry they have not walked a mile in my shoes.

[ShayFL]

I can i.d. with some of what you are saying. I was always chubby through HS and into my mid 20's. Lots of friends (who were also chubby). Then after I had my daughter and lost a ton of weight (little did I know I was hyperthyroid at the time), friends started dropping. I never regained the weight and find now that all my friends are thin like me. It s so weird. Heavier women arent interested in me at all. I can feel it in social settings. It is an icy air for no reason. Jealousy. I dunno. I never cared about how my friends looked. I even rooted for the underdogs in school. Picking to have not only popular friends, but also getting to know kids on the fringe. Everyone had value. We are generally warped as a society. But it is what we have, so I work within the confines.

And I didnt even think of the "intentional glutening" coming from love. Or her wanting to prove to herself that you are perfectly healthy. That makes some sense.

[ravenwoodglass]

She glutened you intentionally and now she says the reaction is all in your head!!!!!!!

I am so sorry you are having to deal with this. I would not eat anything she put in front of me for a very long time. I don't myself see it as something that was done out of any kind of love but more as someone trying to prove to you that you are wrong about a condition that you have no control over. I wish I could give you a hug and her a slap upside the head. I would be very angry at her behavior also. I would never wish celiac on anyone but I wish we could make some folks walk in our shoes for a week or two, perhaps then they could understand. How would she feel if you slipped a double dose of a strong laxitive in her food? She sure wouldn't be happy but she did exactly that sort of thing to you. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

[dollamasgetceliac?]

She glutened you intentionally and now she says the reaction is all in your head!!!!!!!

I am so sorry you are having to deal with this. I would not eat anything she put in front of me for a very long time. I don't myself see it as something that was done out of any kind of love but more as someone trying to prove to you that you are wrong about a condition that you have no control over. I wish I could give you a hug and her a slap upside the head. I would be very angry at her behavior also. I would never wish celiac on anyone but I wish we could make some folks walk in our shoes for a week or two, perhaps then they could understand. How would she feel if you slipped a double dose of a strong laxitive in her food? She sure wouldn't be happy but she did exactly that sort of thing to you. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

I think many people do not understand food allergies , Celiac etc... and I think it is a form of denial from the mothers side that her daughter is ill, I have had many people swear to me that the cake does not have nuts or that their kitchen is clean( Allergy free) and they think that if I ate their food that I will get better... it is just them not understanding that this is a disease that is real and food does not = love, I think that I would absolutely be cooking for myself, that is for sure. Until her Mom truly understands Celiac.

[LuvMoosic4life]

I can definitly relate!!!!! I often give up on telling my mother how I really feel because she gives me the "youre thinking about it too much/all in your head" thig, then I say, "well how can I not think about it when I have constant pain in my stomach and migranes that wont go away??"

dgknadgnpdaign!!!!!!

[CarolAnne]

Hi...I'm so sorry that you are not feeling well. I know that getting things under control can be really tough...especially when you have so many things to watch for. I've been WheatFree for over 20 years and GlutenFree for over 3 years...and I can tell now the minute I put something into my mouth that contains Gluten. I can taste it almost immediately...usually it just tastes too good to be gluten-free...darn, I still miss how food used to taste!!

But to get back to today perhaps I can offer a suggestion that might help. I see a Naturapathic ARNP (who is also gluten-free) and she's been great in helping me get past some of my tummy issues. She's got me on a really good Multi-Vitamin w/Iron in the morning (don't be afraid to double the suggested dose) and a really good Multi-Mineral in the evening (again at double the suggested dose) and my real favorite is L-Glutamine Plus that I take one with every meal...up to 4 a day. This stuff works the best!!

L-Glutamine Plus: Glutamine is the major fuel of the intestines, and contributes to the metabolic processes that are necessary for tissue support. A healthy intestinal lining maximizes nutrient absorption, while acting as a barrier to foreign invaders.

I've found that when I cook for myself...I have absolutely no issues at all...and it's just wonderful. But when I eat out, or eat something that someone else has prepared my reactions have decreased a great deal. I can still tell when I've been Glutened...but it's soooooo much easier to deal with now.

When I teach other newcomers who are going Gluten-Free I always suggest they start by going back to the basics. A minimum of 6-weeks on a really strict beginning diet of 'real' food. Only fresh or frozen fruits or vegetables...100% unprocessed meat, fish or chicken...and a minimum of unprocessed dairy...with olive oil, salt & pepper. Absolutely nothing processed...if it comes out of a box or can it's a no-no...absolutely nothing white, no white sugar, rice, potato etc. (you can use any other rice, sweetener or potato) No known allergens of course...and nothing even remotely containing Gluten. And plenty of fluids...herbal teas, water, juices...whatever. Once the six weeks is up...hopefully you'll be feeling better and you can begin to re-introduce more comfort foods that still don't contain any Gluten of course. I hope some of this might be helpful

[Ursa Major]

Meline, the way I see it is, that your mother intentionally poisoned you, to prove to you that gluten is not a problem. And then to have the gall to claim that your reaction to her poisoning is in in your head! If that was my mother, I'd never eat anything she cooks again. Because how can you trust her now to cook gluten-free for you? I sure wouldn't!

Maybe that is why you aren't getting better, maybe she has intentionally glutened you all along! If you still live at home, you might have to move out and only eat food you have cooked for yourself.

[debmidge]

Do you have to live with her? Sounds like you need your own space.

[flourgirl]

My mother went on a serious guilt trip about my illness....as if somehow it was her fault that she "gave me" this condition. I say condition because it sounds better to my ears than "disease". She won't get tested herself, tho' she knows subconsciously that she has it and that it has caused her misery and great sulffering throughout her life. Wish she had this information years ago, instead of now in her later years.

Anyway, your mother sounds like she is in serious denial, maybe suffering guilt, and trying to prove to herself that you do not have this condition and therefor it is not her fault that you are so ill. I know that people in general don't want to know just how ill you feel, and don't want the details. I try to keep it all to myself except for here. Those who have not experienced all that we do have no concept whatsoever and just can not understand it. And you can't make them understand. My own hubby has made no real effort to understand. With my diagnosis I brought tons of reading material into the house....searched everything I could find on the web.....spent hours in the stores with my lists to develop new eating habits. He has read nothing, and has even scoffed at things I tried to tell him. So, I don't tell him. Even at my sickest and thinnest, he didn't get it.....so I don't try to make him get it. He doesn't want to know...so I let him play ostrich.

Sorry.....I didn't mean to make this my own vent.....but sometimes that's how it goes.

Hope you can get your condition under control, and start to feel terrific! All I can say is....try to understand where the others are coming from....don't take it too personally when they don't get it.....be in control of your life and surrounding for your own sake, and do whatever it is you need to do. If you don't take care of your self and your own life..then who is going to? Take care...be healthy.

[NorthernElf]

Ouch - unreal what your own mom did to you !

I gotta say though, when I first started eliminating gluten I *think* my family was thinking I was just doing a diet thing. I'm lean and very active but I have always had stomach issues & a nasty nasty virus changed my life forever - I was ill for a few weeks & unable to eat and my digestive tract suddenly became celiac. Hmmm - putting it like that sound pretty weird but that's how it can happen. So - after months of tinkering, a doc who tested me wrong (scoped 3 months after being gluten-free AND she didn't tell the GI to look for celiacs so no biopsies were taken), and lots of internet research, I figured it out. It took me a bit to figure out the gluten-free diet but once I did, Yee-ha ! Sometimes you don't know how bad you feel until you feel good ! For a while I was doubtful, sorta of in denial, but it's hard to pin down the diet without CC issues and hidden gluten and besides, now my body is totally anti gluten. I ate a contaminated meal off a gluten-free menu at a restaurant and spent part of the afternoon in the bathroom. I have no doubts at all !

Having said that, it's a bit of a journey getting there AND it's not like you eat gluten and turn blue immediately for all to see. In other words, it's not always an instantaneous obvious reaction that someone else can see. It can be a gradual onset, so others may not believe it. My family finally does. After that restaurant glutening - I happened to be at my parents' place - my dad started quizzing me about celiacs and if I would ever 'grow' out of it, then said it kinda sucks, huh ! It doesn't help that after I went gluten-free I dropped a couple of pounds, hence them thinking it was a diet thing (as did some other people!). I've been dealing with this for over four years.

Anyway, just remember YOU are in control. Even though my family is on board, they don't know about gluten-free eating as much as I do so I can't trust them too much, or anyone for that matter. They wouldn't gluten me on purpose but may accidentally. Gosh, we sure have to read our labels and double check the internet to know what's safe. Best of luck - protect yourself - it's your body, you health !

[feelingbetter]

Meline- Maybe it is time for you to move out on your own. Your mother sounds quite difficult to deal with. I would not want her to cook for me. It also sounds like this is adding to your stress load which isn't good for your physical or emotional well being.

Good Luck!

Brenda

[MELINE]

wow.......all of you are so supportive......venting is not bad after all....Thank you all SO SO SO MUCH....

I have some great news today!!!!!!!!!!! After that talk I took her with me to my new doc (first visit for me today to that new doctor). And he described all of my symptoms to her, he showed her books, he showed her articles and studies and he told her of what can happen to me if I keep eating gluten. And she finally believed me!!!!!!!!!We had a really good talk and she got very sad of what she did and now she keeps asking me if she can get me something gluten-free to eat or where she can search for gluten-free recipes....I don't believe it ! It was so easy after all! all she needed was a convincing doctor.....

Well I really spent a lot of time reading again and again all of your posts. There are some words of wisdom there

Brenda, I am already thinking of moving out. You see here in Greece family is a bit different than in other countries....It is not so usual to leave home before you get married..But I am moving out I hope this September. It is something I must do for my own good. You are right..

Northenelf I really laughed with that "turn blue" thing!!! hahahahaha!!! I'll use it!!!! I am glad you are so gluten-free now and you feel great!!

Flourgirl I am sorry that your mother denied to do the test....It's ok to do it your venting cause it is always helpful to hear that I am not the only one who has that problem with others not understanding. I think I will follow your example and I will not tell anyone how I feel. Yes it is actually my health....

debmidge and Ursa Major I will soon move out....for my own good...I am already 29 years old. It is something I was planning to do but I had to wait for a permanent job, and from July I will have it. Ursa Major yes I think she has done it more than once....that is why I m not getting any better...

CarolAnne I told my doc about l-glutamine and he said YES!! He said it would be great for me. And that thing about processed food he said it is something we should all do , and of course most of all celiacs. Useful tips! thanx!! I'll follow that 6 weeks protocol...

MSAU22 you too have that problem.....ooops....yes, it is hard to stop thinking about it when it is always there......

ravenwoodglass I was so so so so so so so so happy even to hear about a hug!!!!! thanx so much!!!!!!!

That was so cute..

ShayFL I know what you are talking about.....people have a serious problem with kilos....To tell you the truth I don't know if she did it because she wants to prove something, or because she loves me so much or I don't know why....maybe it is a mix of many reasons. But is still is unexeptable....