Oh My God I Feel So Bad, Stress, Sad, Angry, Etc

[dogle]

This how I've been feeling for the past 4 months. I can't go to bed early, I always go to bed between 3 to 4 am, I don't want to go early. I haven't been able to find a job though I'm trying right now. I haven't had the biopsy but I'm improving with the diet though I know I will have to go back to eating gluten so that the biopsy comes out positive. These months have been so difficult, I feel sad about having lost my job, there are memories, that come into my head, of times when I was being affected by this problem and I didn't know what I was going through. Like flashbacks when I had to say NO to invitations, good times, girfriends, trips, parties, projects, family reunions, etc; oh God I feel so bad remembering how much pain and suffering I was having for so many years, I miss my teenage years, my twenties, I've could have done a lot of things, I was feeling terrible, I swear. I did finish my career, that is a big plus, but it's like the world I'm around doesn't understand what I have gone through and the way I am right now, my habits, everything is the result of living undiagnosed, and now I just can't accept it, I have lost years, oh God I feel so sad. All my friends lived their youth pretty well, I did not. I'm alone but still hoping. I know I'm not depressed it's just that too many things happened in a short period of time. My job loss, celiac disease (positive antiobdies), my flashbacks of so many things that were not done the way I would have liked to, my fight with the world to make them understand this is something important, and try to change my diet habits, it's too much, I'm sarcastic kind of bittered sometimes, I know there is so much hope and things will get better but, right now, I'm just trying to make my way out of this hole, it isn't easy. I will keep coming here for relief. I just needed to write.

[gfmolly]

This will get better. The diet is a challenge at first, but you can master label-reading and knowing how to handle situations when you have to eat out. I have been diagnosed since April of 2007 and now I feel like a normal person! Even a year out, I didn't think it possible, because I was still not healed. I would have to say I was fortunate, because I did not have the psychological symptoms, like depression-but do understand that depression is a symptom of the disease!! You have had alot happen to you....know that there is a a way for you to feel better and you can do this.

Have you considered not going through the biopsy? Many people on the board have not even had positive antibody tests, but know that gluten is the poison, and have proceeded from there. I am one that was so sick, when the antibody test came back positive, I went for total gluten and dairy free without the biospy. I also saw enough of a change on the diet to feel confident in that decision. Of course it is very personal.

I am sorry that you are feeling so upset. Please know that I understand and have felt your pain. I only wish the best for you.

Molly

[ravenwoodglass]

Your not alone. We understand. Many of us deal with the same anger, thoughts and regrets. The loss for many of us goes far beyond just the hours spent sick. You have a right to be angry and to grieve. Don't give yourself a hard time about that but also try not to let the grieving process and the anger hamper your moving forward. I hope the world brightens for you soon.

((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))

[mommida]

I hope in time you will see your positive blood test as your liberation papers. You are now in charge of your health. Stay on the gluten free diet. An "official" diagnoses is not neccessary. It could cause health coverage or insurance policy problems.

It would have been nice to find this out when you were younger, but your second chance finally came. Yesterday is gone and today is what matters, and is what you need to focus on. Heal now and get out there and do what you wanted to do. People out there have it a lot worse, believe me.

[Green Eyes]

Hey dogle,

I think all of us can say we've been there to some degree. You can't change what has already happened, BUT you can change the present and the future. Make peace with the past and know that today is your new beginning. You can start making postive memories right this minute. Don't waste another minute all the bad stuff, focus everything you have on what you can change and make it happen. Do "1" postive thing today and make a difference in your life as well as someone else's.

Best wishes,

Jennifer

[jlinc]

Hi dogle,

I suffered from the psychological effects of celiac disease, and some of the things you say sound very familiar to me. I can still get depressed if I happen to be glutened (I usually feel it around 36-48 hours after being glutened, and it lasts about 24 hours). When I'm in the middle of it, there's little I can do to feel better. But if you can get on the diet and stick with it for at least a few weeks, you'll start to feel better. It didn't take me very long (Vitamin D helped me a lot, too).

You're on the right track, keep going and you'll feel WAAYY better!

Jlinc

[frec]

I want to second what jlinc said--start taking vitamin D3. Most celiacs are short on vitamin D--as a matter of fact they are finding that a lot of people are. It helps depression--really helped mine-- and your immune system. And--especially if you are female--start taking calcium and magnesium. Celiacs run short on those too.

Hang on. I was kind of relieved to find out I had celiac disease, that there was a reason for the problems I was having, and that I could improve things. It sure would have been nice to skip twenty years of sprinting to public restrooms though...Good luck with your job search.

[dogle]

Thank you so much for everyone's kind words and advices; this is my world today, this forum is the place where I can get so much support, I also want to be helping people once my life takes form again. I'm still with the psycological effects of this ailment. I know there's so much hope, but, as I said before, sometimes one accumulates so much pressure that one finally bursts. I'm feeling better. I'm wishing everyone a happy 2009, this is the year where all of us will see very postive changes in our health, life, future, etc, I really hope so. I will keep in contact.

[cyberprof]

Thank you so much for everyone's kind words and advices; this is my world today, this forum is the place where I can get so much support, I also want to be helping people once my life takes form again. I'm still with the psycological effects of this ailment. I know there's so much hope, but, as I said before, sometimes one accumulates so much pressure that one finally bursts. I'm feeling better. I'm wishing everyone a happy 2009, this is the year where all of us will see very postive changes in our health, life, future, etc, I really hope so. I will keep in contact.

Start taking Vitamin D, calcium, magnesium like the PP said, plus take Vitamin B12 "sublingual" (under the tongue). You can find sublingual B12 at healthfood stores, just make sure all of these are gluten-free. For D, magnesium and calcium I use Nature Made. For sublingual B12 I use Trader Joe's.

Celiacs are deficient in these vitaminus (usually) because the body just doesn't absorb it. Taking extra will help while you heal. Good luck.

[stellar]

This how I've been feeling for the past 4 months. I can't go to bed early, I always go to bed between 3 to 4 am, I don't want to go early. I haven't been able to find a job though I'm trying right now. I haven't had the biopsy but I'm improving with the diet though I know I will have to go back to eating gluten so that the biopsy comes out positive. These months have been so difficult, I feel sad about having lost my job, there are memories, that come into my head, of times when I was being affected by this problem and I didn't know what I was going through. Like flashbacks when I had to say NO to invitations, good times, girfriends, trips, parties, projects, family reunions, etc; oh God I feel so bad remembering how much pain and suffering I was having for so many years, I miss my teenage years, my twenties, I've could have done a lot of things, I was feeling terrible, I swear. I did finish my career, that is a big plus, but it's like the world I'm around doesn't understand what I have gone through and the way I am right now, my habits, everything is the result of living undiagnosed, and now I just can't accept it, I have lost years, oh God I feel so sad. All my friends lived their youth pretty well, I did not. I'm alone but still hoping. I know I'm not depressed it's just that too many things happened in a short period of time. My job loss, celiac disease (positive antiobdies), my flashbacks of so many things that were not done the way I would have liked to, my fight with the world to make them understand this is something important, and try to change my diet habits, it's too much, I'm sarcastic kind of bittered sometimes, I know there is so much hope and things will get better but, right now, I'm just trying to make my way out of this hole, it isn't easy. I will keep coming here for relief. I just needed to write.

[stellar]

I am just the opposite. I am so tired by 8:30-9:00, I usually just crash after I put my children to bed. But then I'm up at 5:00-5:30 when my stomach starts to rumble. I also have the extreme depression and sometimes feel like I'm dying...seriously. I've only been gluten free for a couple months and I see little improvement. It took doctors (4 of them) 9 months to figure out what was wrong with me. Therapy was suggested because they thought it was all in my head. Now they also think I may have Crohn's (had the colonoscopy last week and should know the results next week). I'm also considering the depressing thought that I may have lymphoma because I have pain in my groin and armpit, as well as tightness in my throat, aching legs, and of course fatigue. I feel your pain and anger! The medical community needs to be more aware of this disease and the possible side effects it can cause. I am only 36 years old and the thought of dying and leaving my 3 young children behind scares the hell out of me.