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My Mom's Not Gluten Free But Should Be...

The Kids Folks

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The Kids Folks Apprentice
The Kids Folks
Posted

Hi-

I typically post on the parents of kids with celiac section, but this time I have a question about dealing with my mother. My DD, DS and DH and myself all went gluten in October. Although itwas not diagnosed through medical testing but rather diet - we have seen remarkable changes in all of us. Enough said.

Here is the issue - DH and I have noticed in both of our families symptoms of gluten intolerance... most recent is my mother. When she is "dieting" and cutting out breads and pasta - her mood is very amazing - super upbeat, laughing, pretty much just goes with the flow of things. However, this past week - she was doing a lot of baking for my niece's graduation. Thus tons of gluten filled cookies and bars and well you know when you bake - you pretty much taste every thing and then eat the extras!!

So, yesterday at the graduation party I realize that my mom seems, more than iritated at things that don't necessarily effect her. The kids at the party destroyed some yard games, her bars were running b/c of the warm weather, my SIL was throwing away plastic bowls that could eventually be reused ... you get the idea - nothing major to be upset about! Then the kicker was when she found out that my niece made a decision that my mom is totally against, but that really won't affect my niece a whole lot in the general scheme of things. My mom pretty well lost it and of course went to tell my dad and then got made at me when I told her to just let my niece have her day! She also will hold grudges that begin of course duing the major gluten feast!

So... sorry this got so long... how do I deal with my mom who I will be seeing at another gathering today (of course gluten food will be involved). Not to sound like a first year med student diagnosing her but I KNOW that the gluten is causing this irrational behavior. Talking to her about going gluten free has been an on going deal of which she feels is too expensive, too time consuming, too much work!

The kids folks

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Ahorsesoul Enthusiast
Ahorsesoul
Posted

I so wish we had a magic wand. It's hard when we know that people would feel so much better going gluten free. I've been gluten free long enough now that it is not difficult but it is a whole change in lifestyle.

Roda Rising Star
Roda
Posted

I can understand your frustration because you care. I am pretty convinced my brother needs to be on a gluten free diet also. He was dx with sarcoidosis in 1992 and since has ongoing chronic rashes. He has gi issues, lactose problems, and is obese. I was leaning toward my Mom having it but everything came out ok for her. I do, in hindsight, believe my father needs tested and he might be the one with the problem. My brother, father and I always, despite our weight issues, have had really low cholesterol and triglicerides. I have read that low triglicerides can be an indication of malabsorption. My father for as long as I can remember has also suffered from horrible acid indigestion and reflux. He also had surgery a long time ago to remove some gangranous bowel. I talked to my brother about it several times now how he would benefit from it. I might as well been talking to a brick wall. He even got angry at me so I don't preach anymore. My father had some recent blood work done that indicated some deficiencies and I mentioned to my mom he should get screened for celiac. When she mentioned it to him he, via my mother, pretty much told me to mind my own business. It's hard though to sit back as watch someone do something that is compromising their health. They are adults and I only hope someday they see how well I am doing and come to the conclusion on their own to give it a try before it's too late. My mom however is very open and supportive. I am due for a family trip to visit them in PA next week. This is my first trip back since being diagnosed. I plan on taking a few things with me and do some shopping when I get there. I am going to be in charge of all the cooking our meals together so I have less of a chance of contamination. Mom does not care and I think is looking forward to have someone cook for her. We are having a big family get together. My brother is smoking all the meat. I have checked with him about ingredients and believe it or not every thing he uses is gluten free by default so I'm good there. I am going to make all the side dishes and deserts gluten free. Except for my immediate family, noone else will know and probably won't have a clue! :)

.

The Fluffy Assassin Enthusiast
The Fluffy Assassin
Posted
Hi-

I typically post on the parents of kids with celiac section, but this time I have a question about dealing with my mother. My DD, DS and DH and myself all went gluten in October. Although itwas not diagnosed through medical testing but rather diet - we have seen remarkable changes in all of us. Enough said.

Here is the issue - DH and I have noticed in both of our families symptoms of gluten intolerance... most recent is my mother. When she is "dieting" and cutting out breads and pasta - her mood is very amazing - super upbeat, laughing, pretty much just goes with the flow of things. However, this past week - she was doing a lot of baking for my niece's graduation. Thus tons of gluten filled cookies and bars and well you know when you bake - you pretty much taste every thing and then eat the extras!!

So, yesterday at the graduation party I realize that my mom seems, more than iritated at things that don't necessarily effect her. The kids at the party destroyed some yard games, her bars were running b/c of the warm weather, my SIL was throwing away plastic bowls that could eventually be reused ... you get the idea - nothing major to be upset about! Then the kicker was when she found out that my niece made a decision that my mom is totally against, but that really won't affect my niece a whole lot in the general scheme of things. My mom pretty well lost it and of course went to tell my dad and then got made at me when I told her to just let my niece have her day! She also will hold grudges that begin of course duing the major gluten feast!

So... sorry this got so long... how do I deal with my mom who I will be seeing at another gathering today (of course gluten food will be involved). Not to sound like a first year med student diagnosing her but I KNOW that the gluten is causing this irrational behavior. Talking to her about going gluten free has been an on going deal of which she feels is too expensive, too time consuming, too much work!

The kids folks

You expose her to your cooking to show her how tasty (and easy) gluten free cuisine can be, you point out to her how much happier and easy-going she is when she's on Atkins (or whatever largely gluten-free diet she's been on), and you try not to worry about it. I went gluten-free in late 2007. The woman I was living with was ever so much more obviously celiac than I am, from PCOS to family thyroid problems. I cooked gluten-free for her for a solid year, working on her constantly to convince her that she's celiac and needs to give up gluten. She shot the messenger. Sooo I can tell you from experience that convincing anybody to go gluten free is significantly harder than getting them to change, say, their religion. Do your best and try not to worry about it.

ang1e0251 Contributor
ang1e0251
Posted

In my experience, stating your case, then letting it go, is one of the hardest and yet probably easiest ways to get along. You can only love them, offer them your great gluten-free cooking and be open to them when they ask you questions. They only need to know they can come to when they are ready to face it.

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