Eating At Other People's Homes

[katiekay]

My husband and I ate at the inlaws tonight. We both have horrible stomach ache. I ate something that I can't imagine had gluten in it so must be cross contamination.

We've been invited to someone's home next weekend and wedding meal tomorrow... how do you guys handle?! I can't imagine grilling someone when invited to their home to eat but this is awful.

What do you guys all do? We don't have a diagnosis and I am sure they think I am a hypochondriac (although I've never mentioned health issues before).

[iamsarar]

I am interested in this too. I am going to a family dinner and when I talked to my aunt about hte food she thought being "that careful" was silly but said she cooks some gluten-free meals for her husband. She said she would make the gluten free dish first and them make the other things. I still don't trust it but trying to figure out how to handle it without making everyone mad.

[jerseyangel]

All I can tell you is what I do. I've been at this for almost 6 years and right at the beginning made it clear that I would bring my own food. I simply told people that I was insanely sensitive, and that I didn't want to put them to the trouble of trying to cook for me.

I was polite but firm--and after a few times everyone just accepted it and now it's not even an issue.

[kareng]

All I can tell you is what I do. I've been at this for almost 6 years and right at the beginning made it clear that I would bring my own food. I simply told people that I was insanely sensitive, and that I didn't want to put them to the trouble of trying to cook for me.

I was polite but firm--and after a few times everyone just accepted it and now it's not even an issue.

Ditto.

I try to find out what they are serving and bring something similar if possible. Then I borrow the microwave or I take mine hot and put it in a small cooler if we are eating soon after arriving. If it's a help yourself & stand around type of party, I just eat first and stick something really good (Snickers), that I don't eat often in my purse. In case I feel left out.

What has worked for my family is " my doctor said..". Even though he didn't cause he doesn't know.

[playin-d-fiddle]

My good friends know of my dire situation so they take it upon themselves, after a learning process highly facilitated by me, to make sure that I am safe (special cutting boards for me, calling to read me ingredient lists from packages, etc), but those not as close as they are might not completely understand, or 'get it'. That means that it is my responsibility to take care of myself that night and ensure that I am safe (until the world is a better place and we're not such a SHOCK to everyone).

If I am uncomfortable inserting myself into the necessary food conversations, or perhaps it's not entirely appropriate for whatever reason (that's up to you to decide), I make sure I am either not hungry or I bring my own food. Whether you're diagnosed or not, stating a "severe reaction to certain foods" should be enough to start the pertinent conversations. You'll get more comfortable with those conversations the more you have them. Eventually you might even get to the point where the explanation includes "if you want anyone else to be able to use the restroom this evening it might be a good idea for us to talk about the menu"!, for those who still have reservations. Talking to the chef, organizer, caterer, those are all requests that are not unheard of, nor are they asking too much

Often it can be difficult to accommodate our extreme sensitivities, which is why I always have food in my purse. Sure, you're going to miss out on some awesome food here and there, but you won't be sick afterward! I don't like to take any risks so unless I can talk to someone who cooked it, I won't touch it. The people around you will be curious and ask why you're not eating, or why you just pulled a small meal out of your bag. That gives you the opportunity to educate people that might not otherwise learn about the difficulties the gluten sensitive/allergic/intolerant face in these situations that others might just take for granted.

Hope that helps? Good luck!!

[hawkgirl98]

I always ask ahead of time about what will be served and specific ingredients and I've found people to be really understanding. Sometimes it turns out some things are already planned that are naturally gluten-free. Went to a party a few weeks ago where spinach dip was on the menu - the dip itself was gluten-free, but would be accompanied by pita bread. I talked to the host and she prepared a separate bowl of the dip for me to have with veggies & tortilla chips to avoid any cross-contamination. Similarly, at the holidays, my aunt usually makes a salad with nuts that are processed in a facility that also processes wheat. She just separated out a portion of the salad for me before adding the nuts for everyone else.

The holidays were actually a pleasant surprise for me - the only non gluten-free dish was stuffing. My aunt made the gravy with cornstarch instead of flour and then everything else - veggies, potatoes, meat - was naturally gluten free. To be extra safe, I went through the buffet line first to avoid people possibly mixing up serving spoon for the stuffing with the veggies or potatoes.

Anyway, I also always volunteer to bring something myself that I know will be safe to eat.

[katiekay]

thanks for all the great advice!!!

[mushroom]

I have let a few people cook for me, but not many Usually take my own, with apologies.

[GlutenFreeManna]

I just take my own food. I don't let anyone else cook for me except my mom and even then I'm in the room when she does it and she is using my pots and pans. She doesn't live with me and doesn't have to cook like this all the time so I can see how it would be easy to make a mistake even if she was trying to be careful. I would feel so bad if I ate something someone else made and I got sick. I wouldn't want to tell them I got sick, but I would have to tell them so it didn't happen again. I would rather just avoid that whole possible situation by eating my own food. It's really only awkward for the first meal or two. Then people just accept that that is the way it is. I DO drink soft drinks or tea and things that they offer and use their plates, silveware, etc. I just don't eat the food. I also try to bring something I can share (but make sure mine is portioned out ahead of time to prevent cc)--dessert is always a big hit

[rosetapper23]

Thankfully, many of my relatives also have celiac (including my mom), so family members are well versed in serving gluten-free meals. I even let a few, select friends cook for me (VERY short list). However, if anyone else invites me to lunch or dinner, I always respond, "I'm sorry, but I can't eat at other people's homes because I have celiac disease and don't feel safe unless the kitchen is a dedicated gluten-free one. I hope you'll understand." Usually, when this happens, the person immediately states that we can meet up at a restaurant instead. If people don't understand how dangerous celiac can be, I explain what the slightest contamination can do to me....they then seem even more frightened of having me eat at their home than I am at the prospect of eating there.

[annegirl]

I so ditto the watching family members cook. I walked into the kitchen just in time to see my dad put garlic salt (soy) on the hamburger patties. He rarely cooks (and he's the only one that puts garlic salt on hamburger patties) so if I hadn't seen it I would have thought they were safe and ended up being sick.

Even when people try their hardest it's tough to think of every single thing that could have a "bad" ingredient....especially when you have several intolerances.

[katiekay]

yea, it would be alittle much to expect others to keep track of all of it.

[Darissa]

We either bring our own food or snacks, or we just eat at home prior, and go over to visit. That seems to be the best for us. We have tried to eat at other peoples houses, and it just ddoesn't work out for us. My daughter and I are both very sensitive to CC. We go to dinner parties to socialize and visit, and not to eat. I make sure the host knows prior that we will not be eating, but we will come to visit. Eventually you get used to not eating, while watching everyone else eat!! I will often times bring a desert to share, so that way we can have something too. Or, if it's going to be a long evening, we offer to bring a main dish, so we have something safe to eat too.

[MindytheOrganist]

My hubby has had celiac for a little over a year, but he has been Type 1 Diabetic for over 30. All our friends and family think nothing of our bringing food to supplement what is being offered, because that's all they've known.