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How Often Do You Cheat?

steve-010

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sandiz Apprentice
sandiz
Posted

Can never cheat, it is too painful. It is poison to me.

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cap6 Enthusiast
cap6
Posted

I would never ever cheat. It would just negate all of the work I've done to be gluten free. If the two of you have children they are at risk for being celiac and I am if she would have trouble coping with a celiac child.

domesticactivist Collaborator
domesticactivist
Posted

It's nice to recommend a book to him, but it's a pretty big leap in logic to suggest HE is the one who needs therapy because he got involved with someone who has problems. He seems like a pretty together guy with a great head on his shoulders. He sees the problem, came here for answers and is taking all of our advice to heart. I think he sounds like a great catch who caught a rotten fish.

I agree that the OP sounds like a great guy, and I really do hope that he just got unlucky with her and will be able to easily move on now that he's seen this side of her. However, most people I have observed have a more difficult time than that, no matter how good they are as people. If it is more difficult than just throwing this fish back for the OP, it might be beneficial to consider what trying to help her does for him.

I wasn't suggesting that "he is the one who needs therapy." Rather, I was trying to get the point across that relationships are often about more than who is the good guy and who is the bad guy, and it might be helpful to consider that we are often attracted to others who fit us like puzzle pieces. Building awareness of that through therapy, reading, talking on a forum, or other means can help a person grow in ways that lead them toward healthier relationships.

That has been my experience, and I hope it is read and understood as a shared idea/perspective rather than an attack.

sandsurfgirl Collaborator
sandsurfgirl
Posted

I agree that the OP sounds like a great guy, and I really do hope that he just got unlucky with her and will be able to easily move on now that he's seen this side of her. However, most people I have observed have a more difficult time than that, no matter how good they are as people. If it is more difficult than just throwing this fish back for the OP, it might be beneficial to consider what trying to help her does for him.

I wasn't suggesting that "he is the one who needs therapy." Rather, I was trying to get the point across that relationships are often about more than who is the good guy and who is the bad guy, and it might be helpful to consider that we are often attracted to others who fit us like puzzle pieces. Building awareness of that through therapy, reading, talking on a forum, or other means can help a person grow in ways that lead them toward healthier relationships.

That has been my experience, and I hope it is read and understood as a shared idea/perspective rather than an attack.

Thanks for clarifying. I get what you're saying. Maybe I will read that book.

msmini14 Enthusiast
msmini14
Posted

I went gluten-free in february 2008, I ate gluten on purpose march of 08 because I couldn't resist and I didn't understand how important it was for me to eat gluten-free. Well after march of 08 I have never eaten gluten on purpose, it is not worth getting sick or any other affects that it takes on me.

It sucks because there are people out there who tell everyone they have celiac and then eat wheat. This causes some people not to take us seriously when we explain our situation.

eatmeat4good Enthusiast
eatmeat4good
Posted

You can lead a celiac to gluten free food but you cannot make her eat that way.

I'm sick as a dog and mentally ill with cross contamination. I would never cheat.

Gluten seriously disturbed my cognitive and mental ability. I had impaired perceptions and couldn't do basic problem solving like drawing connections between cause and effect. Maybe gluten is interfering with her cognitive processes. Anger and irritability are classic glutening symptoms, and you would have to live with that if she didn't stop eating gluten. Wow.

steve-010 Newbie
steve-010
Posted
  • Author

Well, this weekend was full of BBQ's and whatnot for Memorial Day. It was a beautiful weekend up here and we sat pool side, etc.

We went to a party one of the nights and everything was going fine. Although, she did eat a hot dog. She didn't ask if they were gluten free (and honestly, I have no idea if they are). All she said is that they were good hot dogs, not the cheap ones, so they were fine. Whatever.

Anyway, I'm not her babysitter so I let her do her thing. She went inside the house and about 10 minutes later I went in to refill my drink (I wasn't drinking beer so that I wouldn't feel bad kissing her). I saw her throw something into the trash and then put her arms up like she was stretching. I didn't think much of it. It's 3 days later now and she confessed to eating a slice of pizza. The only reason she told me is because I would have seen the giant rash on her stomach. I went without eating any gluten around her and she has to sneak away from me to eat pizza!

The day before she ate some Carvel Ice Cream cake (Wheat something is 3rd ingredient). I asked her about this and she said she won't let me take that away from her. The next day she ate more Angel Food cake like she did the weekend before. Then on Monday she called me out for eating a cheese burger with a bun and said that she thought I was going gluten free.

Sorry for the rant. I just can't trust her anymore. I'm 95% gluten free while I'm around her but she's only 75% gluten-free around me (and probably only 50% gluten-free when I'm not around).

Big talk coming tonight. I'll let you know how it goes.

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kareng Grand Master
kareng
Posted

Good luck, Steve! I think there are alot of women on here that would love to date you! ;)

Someone should start a gluten-free/food allergy dating service.

domesticactivist Collaborator
domesticactivist
Posted

Good luck!

tarnalberry Community Regular
tarnalberry
Posted

Good luck!

It strikes me, reading what you wrote about her sneaking off to have a piece of pizza and "confessing her crimes" later is just such a huge red flag. What else might she sneak? I mean, if you guys want to have kids, she'd already be doing harm by eating gluten during a pregnancy (the celiac antibodies attack the placenta, increasing risk of miscarriage and prematurity), but what if she really wanted a drink, often? Would she say "oh, I just can't say no" and end up giving the kid fetal alcohol syndrome? What if she took to smoking? Or gambling? Or any other addictive behavior. Yes, yes - I realize that some people find gluten to be physiologically addictive, but if she won't even acknowledge her behavior and that she needs to work on it and/or get help...

Good luck! I hope the talk goes well.

notme Experienced
notme
Posted

never EVER cheat. maybe she has never been 100% gluten free long enough to see what a huge difference it makes. it took awhile to 'detox' (ohhh, cranky, cranky) and to even out my digestion - although every day you feel a little better... also had to cut out alot of other things when i went gluten-free like dairy, soy, certain veges and fruits, etc. i lived for years (25 years!!!) without knowing i could feel this good and no way did i want to change my diet when i was dx'd! yet i managed to raise 4 children to decent human adulthood. did have one miscarriage, though. if my husband gave up on me i don't know how i would have survived till now. i was very, very reckless when we started dating....... i hope everything works out....... but her brain may not be working - i know mine didn't. he was my voice of reason.

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    • Mari
      My only proof

      By Mari · Posted

      Years  ago a friend and I drove north into Canada hoping to find a ski resort open in late spring,We were in my VW and found a small ski area near a small town and started up this gravelled road up a mountain. We  got about halfway up and got stuck in the mud. We tried everything we could think of but an hour later we were still stuck. Finally a pickup came down the road, laughed at our situation, then pulled the VW free of the mud. We followed him back to the ski area where where he started up the rope ski lift and we had an enjoyable hour of skiing and gave us a shot of aquavit  before we left.It was a great rescue.  In some ways this reminds me of your situation. You are waiting for a rescue and you have chosen medical practitioners to do it now or as soon as possible. As you have found out the med. experts have not learned how to help you. You face years of continuing to feel horrible, frustrated searching for your rescuer to save you. You can break away from from this pattern of thinking and you have begun breaking  away by using some herbs and supplements from doTerra. Now you can start trying some of the suggestions thatother Celiacs have written to your original posts.  You live with other people who eat gluten foods. Cross contamination is very possible. Are you sure that their food is completely separate from their food. It  is not only the gluten grains you need to avoid (wheat, barley, rye) but possibly oats, cows milk also. Whenever you fall back into that angry and frustrated way of thinking get up and walk around for a whild. You will learn ways to break that way of thinking about your problems.  Best wishes for your future. May you enjpy a better life.  
    • marion wheaton
      Are Lindt chocolate balls gluten free?

      By marion wheaton · Posted

      Thanks for responding. I researched further and Lindt Lindor chocolate balls do contain barely malt powder which contains gluten. I was surprised at all of the conflicting information I found when I checked online.
    • trents
      Are Lindt chocolate balls gluten free?

      By trents · Posted

      @BlessedinBoston, it is possible that in Canada the product in question is formulated differently than in the USA or at least processed in in a facility that precludes cross contamination. I assume from your user name that you are in the USA. And it is also possible that the product meets the FDA requirement of not more than 20ppm of gluten but you are a super sensitive celiac for whom that standard is insufficient. 
    • BlessedinBoston
      Are Lindt chocolate balls gluten free?

      By BlessedinBoston · Posted

      No,Lindt is not gluten free no matter what they say on their website. I found out the hard way when I was newly diagnosed in 2000. At that time the Lindt truffles were just becoming popular and were only sold in small specialty shops at the mall. You couldn't buy them in any stores like today and I was obsessed with them 😁. Took me a while to get around to checking them and was heartbroken when I saw they were absolutely not gluten free 😔. Felt the same when I realized Twizzlers weren't either. Took me a while to get my diet on order after being diagnosed. I was diagnosed with small bowel non Hodgkins lymphoma at the same time. So it was a very stressful time to say the least. Hope this helps 😁.
    • knitty kitty
      My only proof

      By knitty kitty · Posted

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