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steve_010

How Often Do You Cheat?

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I would never ever cheat. It would just negate all of the work I've done to be gluten free. If the two of you have children they are at risk for being celiac and I am if she would have trouble coping with a celiac child.

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It's nice to recommend a book to him, but it's a pretty big leap in logic to suggest HE is the one who needs therapy because he got involved with someone who has problems. He seems like a pretty together guy with a great head on his shoulders. He sees the problem, came here for answers and is taking all of our advice to heart. I think he sounds like a great catch who caught a rotten fish.

I agree that the OP sounds like a great guy, and I really do hope that he just got unlucky with her and will be able to easily move on now that he's seen this side of her. However, most people I have observed have a more difficult time than that, no matter how good they are as people. If it is more difficult than just throwing this fish back for the OP, it might be beneficial to consider what trying to help her does for him.

I wasn't suggesting that "he is the one who needs therapy." Rather, I was trying to get the point across that relationships are often about more than who is the good guy and who is the bad guy, and it might be helpful to consider that we are often attracted to others who fit us like puzzle pieces. Building awareness of that through therapy, reading, talking on a forum, or other means can help a person grow in ways that lead them toward healthier relationships.

That has been my experience, and I hope it is read and understood as a shared idea/perspective rather than an attack.


Our family is transitioning off the GAPS Intro Diet and into the Full GAPS Diet.

Gluten-Free since November 2010

GAPS Diet since January/February 2011

me - not tested for celiac - currently doing a gluten challenge since 11/26/2011

partner - not tested for celiac

ds - age 11, hospitalized 9/2010, celiac dx by gluten reaction & genetics. No biopsy or blood as we were already gluten-free by the time it was an option.

dd - age 12.5, not celiac, has Tourette's syndome

both kids have now-resolved attention issues.

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I agree that the OP sounds like a great guy, and I really do hope that he just got unlucky with her and will be able to easily move on now that he's seen this side of her. However, most people I have observed have a more difficult time than that, no matter how good they are as people. If it is more difficult than just throwing this fish back for the OP, it might be beneficial to consider what trying to help her does for him.

I wasn't suggesting that "he is the one who needs therapy." Rather, I was trying to get the point across that relationships are often about more than who is the good guy and who is the bad guy, and it might be helpful to consider that we are often attracted to others who fit us like puzzle pieces. Building awareness of that through therapy, reading, talking on a forum, or other means can help a person grow in ways that lead them toward healthier relationships.

That has been my experience, and I hope it is read and understood as a shared idea/perspective rather than an attack.

Thanks for clarifying. I get what you're saying. Maybe I will read that book.


Lots of doctors diagnosed me with lots of things including IBS, lactose intolerance, wheat intolerance, and quite a few of them threw up their hands in total confusion.

Had GI symptoms, allergy symptoms and unexplained illness my whole life.

Jan. 2010 Diagnosed celiac at the age of 40.

Ready to get well and get on with my life!

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I went gluten-free in february 2008, I ate gluten on purpose march of 08 because I couldn't resist and I didn't understand how important it was for me to eat gluten-free. Well after march of 08 I have never eaten gluten on purpose, it is not worth getting sick or any other affects that it takes on me.

It sucks because there are people out there who tell everyone they have celiac and then eat wheat. This causes some people not to take us seriously when we explain our situation.


Gluten Free going on 5 years and counting!

gluten-free is a life change and not a diet.

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You can lead a celiac to gluten free food but you cannot make her eat that way.

I'm sick as a dog and mentally ill with cross contamination. I would never cheat.

Gluten seriously disturbed my cognitive and mental ability. I had impaired perceptions and couldn't do basic problem solving like drawing connections between cause and effect. Maybe gluten is interfering with her cognitive processes. Anger and irritability are classic glutening symptoms, and you would have to live with that if she didn't stop eating gluten. Wow.


Healing is a matter of time, but it is sometimes also a matter of opportunity.

--Hippocrates

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Well, this weekend was full of BBQ's and whatnot for Memorial Day. It was a beautiful weekend up here and we sat pool side, etc.

We went to a party one of the nights and everything was going fine. Although, she did eat a hot dog. She didn't ask if they were gluten free (and honestly, I have no idea if they are). All she said is that they were good hot dogs, not the cheap ones, so they were fine. Whatever.

Anyway, I'm not her babysitter so I let her do her thing. She went inside the house and about 10 minutes later I went in to refill my drink (I wasn't drinking beer so that I wouldn't feel bad kissing her). I saw her throw something into the trash and then put her arms up like she was stretching. I didn't think much of it. It's 3 days later now and she confessed to eating a slice of pizza. The only reason she told me is because I would have seen the giant rash on her stomach. I went without eating any gluten around her and she has to sneak away from me to eat pizza!

The day before she ate some Carvel Ice Cream cake (Wheat something is 3rd ingredient). I asked her about this and she said she won't let me take that away from her. The next day she ate more Angel Food cake like she did the weekend before. Then on Monday she called me out for eating a cheese burger with a bun and said that she thought I was going gluten free.

Sorry for the rant. I just can't trust her anymore. I'm 95% gluten free while I'm around her but she's only 75% gluten-free around me (and probably only 50% gluten-free when I'm not around).

Big talk coming tonight. I'll let you know how it goes.

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Good luck, Steve! I think there are alot of women on here that would love to date you! ;)

Someone should start a gluten-free/food allergy dating service.


 

 

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Good luck!


Our family is transitioning off the GAPS Intro Diet and into the Full GAPS Diet.

Gluten-Free since November 2010

GAPS Diet since January/February 2011

me - not tested for celiac - currently doing a gluten challenge since 11/26/2011

partner - not tested for celiac

ds - age 11, hospitalized 9/2010, celiac dx by gluten reaction & genetics. No biopsy or blood as we were already gluten-free by the time it was an option.

dd - age 12.5, not celiac, has Tourette's syndome

both kids have now-resolved attention issues.

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Good luck!

It strikes me, reading what you wrote about her sneaking off to have a piece of pizza and "confessing her crimes" later is just such a huge red flag. What else might she sneak? I mean, if you guys want to have kids, she'd already be doing harm by eating gluten during a pregnancy (the celiac antibodies attack the placenta, increasing risk of miscarriage and prematurity), but what if she really wanted a drink, often? Would she say "oh, I just can't say no" and end up giving the kid fetal alcohol syndrome? What if she took to smoking? Or gambling? Or any other addictive behavior. Yes, yes - I realize that some people find gluten to be physiologically addictive, but if she won't even acknowledge her behavior and that she needs to work on it and/or get help...

Good luck! I hope the talk goes well.


Tiffany aka "Have I Mentioned Chocolate Lately?"

Inconclusive Blood Tests, Positive Dietary Results, No Endoscopy

G.F. - September 2003; C.F. - July 2004

Hiker, Yoga Teacher, Engineer, Painter, Be-er of Me

Bellevue, WA

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never EVER cheat. maybe she has never been 100% gluten free long enough to see what a huge difference it makes. it took awhile to 'detox' (ohhh, cranky, cranky) and to even out my digestion - although every day you feel a little better... also had to cut out alot of other things when i went gluten-free like dairy, soy, certain veges and fruits, etc. i lived for years (25 years!!!) without knowing i could feel this good and no way did i want to change my diet when i was dx'd! yet i managed to raise 4 children to decent human adulthood. did have one miscarriage, though. if my husband gave up on me i don't know how i would have survived till now. i was very, very reckless when we started dating....... i hope everything works out....... but her brain may not be working - i know mine didn't. he was my voice of reason.


arlene

misdiagnosed for 25 years!
just as i was getting my affairs in order to die of malnutrition...
gluten free 7/2010
blood test negative
celiac confirmed by endoscopy 9/2010

 

only YOU can prevent forest fires - smokey t. bear

 

have a nice day :)

Celiac.com - Celiac Disease Board Moderator

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