Depression? Me? Never... (sarcasm) I like to say I'm moody. :-) I probably have more ups and downs than the average person and they come and go without rhyme or reason.
For a time it was all just down though. Someone close to me said the following and it snapped me back to better days... "I feel so sorry for you that because you don't know what the future holds for you now, that you now choose to waste the days you have now that God has given you."
I wasn't going out. I was turning down invites. I wasn't proactively planning future events. I kinda sucked as a person, really. I became quite self-absorbed. I was googling symptoms multiple times per day. B-L-A-H!
My normal now is that I'm not normal. I don't need to google everything that doesn't feel right because I expect to have weird sensations. I'm living my life now and will worry about whats to come when it arrives. I hang out with friends. I take food everywhere. I make fun of people for eating gluten as though they are smoking a cigarette. Coming from me, my friends just laugh because they know I'm poking fun and keeping it light. If someone coughs, I tell them they need a Celiac panel. :-)
I came VERY close to going on an anti-depressant and fought it tooth and nail. What helped me... 1. The words I previously shared 2. I went to church 3. I started saying yes to a lot more offers that came my way just for the sake of getting out EVEN when I really didn't want to 4. I set a calorie goal to gain weight and never missed that calorie goal. As I gained weight, I felt better. If I couldn't eat those calories (at first I couldn't) I would drink them. I would make a shake or a smoothie and make it disgustingly calorie rich. I did everything that every diet/health book would say not to do because my immediate problem was malnourishment. Forget about cholesterol, forget about sugar, forget about fat... (Thats what I did/it worked for ME) May not be the same for you...
Anyhow, you are NOT alone in feeling down. If you can find it in you to force yourself to be busy and out more than you are, if forces your mind to think about and focus on other things than your immediate perceived circumstance. Its not easy. It was hard for me, has to be even harder for you. START LIVING!
Oh yeah, and I drink caffeine :-) I probably shouldn't but hey, I gave up gluten... The coffee stays :-)