Non-Supportive Husbands And Mothers

[gorgeous6]

My husband is from Mexico, and he thinks that because people over there have never talked about celiac disease that it is not a real disease. He is really unsupportive, and so is my mother. My mother has all the same signs, and symptoms for celiac disease, and she does not want to be bothered with going gluten-free or acknowledging that my son might have it as well. Why are people so darn disrespectful; especially family members? My gut feeling is that my son has the disease, and I need to know how to keep him safe from human cross-contamination. My daughters have no symptoms, but I guess that doesn't matter, they could still have it right? I can keep myself gluten-free, but what about my kids? If you have any suggestions, please let me know?

[Becci]

My mother is the same way... She is not un-supportive of me, in most ways.. But, she refuses to get tested or even go gluten-free. She has a TON of the symptoms, and refuses to try!

[MollyBeth]

Hey, I feel your pain here. This is my advice to you. Stick with it. I don't know how long you've been dealing but when I first started my family treated me like I was just going through some phaze and that this was a temporary change but I stuck to my guns and now they try really hard and go out of their way to try and accomidate me. I know it's frustrating because they should respect it right out of the gate but perhaps in time they will come around like my family did for me. Another thing that helped was my skin started having color again and my nails started growing and I had energy. They noticed these things and saw that it wasn't just some silly idea I had in my head. Show them these things that are physical proof that you are getting better.

[sandsurfgirl]

Your husband is being so ignorant it's shocking. Seriously? That's just plain dumb. There are blood tests. There are biopsies. It's a real disease. I'm so sorry for you. That's just got me shaking my head. I would have no tolerance for that sort of stupidity. He's glad he's not married to me because I'd call him an idiot. LOL

[K8ling]

My MiL actually thought I was being dramatic...

Until I had a wicked bad reaction from cross contamination. I all but pooped on her feet (almost barfed on her though).

Now she's SUPER supportive of me!

[sandsurfgirl]

My MiL actually thought I was being dramatic...

Until I had a wicked bad reaction from cross contamination. I all but pooped on her feet (almost barfed on her though).

Now she's SUPER supportive of me!

I only have one person in my life who acts like an ignorant moron about my celiac and that's my neighbor. I cursed him out recently because I got so mad that he was going to CC my food on the barbecue at my own house because "a little gluten won't hurt you." Sadly I am positive his wife has celiac. She knows she reacts to wheat. She has all the symptoms. She misses a lot of work due to illness and is always laid up on the couch with a blanket and heating pad from abdominal pain. But he's such a jackass about it, she won't even go get tested. She knows he will be horrible and so she's just suffering. I gave up finally because I just sounded like a broken record.

[momof4gf]

My husband insisted food has nothing to do with my kids symptoms. I still tried them on a gluten free diet and saw great results and elimination of almost all their symptoms (which are extremely varied among the 4 of them)! Once he saw the results he was a little more open to the idea but still skeptical - I don't think he thinks it could be as serious as it is. Even though we were told my 11-year-old son has "ratty bones" on a CT scan he had done of his ankle prior to a surgery this year (surgeon said it was due to chronic inflammation and he should have a rheumatoid workup). I wanted to take them all to a gastroenterologist but he objected saying we didn't need to spend the money on taking them, that if they felt better not eating gluten that was fine but let them eat it if they want. I made the appts. anyway and we are going next month. My gut tells me they have it and I could not live with myself if I continued to feed them gluten while feeling this way and then they developed more serious problems in the future because of it. If they have it, then maybe he'll listen to the doctor. They started their gluten challenge after 3 months gluten free so we'll see what happens. Even if it's negative I will still put at least 2 of my children who really have severe symptoms back on a gluten free diet. I have just done alot to try to educate the kids on the subject and explain to them why it's so important. They already know they feel better off gluten!

[sahm-i-am]

Why? Why? Why? Why Celiac Disease? I just don't understand why people think we over-react about being gluten free! It's not like it has a glamorous cure or that it is fun to be gluten free. Good Lord - people like your husband and the neighbor in the post above make me mad. What in the world do they think about diabetics or people with heart disease? Is it because there is no drug therapy for our disease? Whatever!

I am truly sorry you have to live with celiac disease AND clueless husband! Yes, your children should be tested. I didn't have any of the normal GI symptoms and they found Celiac!

[sandsurfgirl]

Why? Why? Why? Why Celiac Disease? I just don't understand why people think we over-react about being gluten free! It's not like it has a glamorous cure or that it is fun to be gluten free. Good Lord - people like your husband and the neighbor in the post above make me mad. What in the world do they think about diabetics or people with heart disease? Is it because there is no drug therapy for our disease? Whatever!

I am truly sorry you have to live with celiac disease AND clueless husband! Yes, your children should be tested. I didn't have any of the normal GI symptoms and they found Celiac!

I know WTF??????? Seriously I do not get it! It's almost like they are personally insulted that you won't be eating gluten. It's so lame!

[anabananakins]

I know WTF??????? Seriously I do not get it! It's almost like they are personally insulted that you won't be eating gluten. It's so lame!

It's nuts. And you're right, they are personally insulted. That people will keep pushing food, or denying you should be scared of contamination... "surely a little bit won't hurt?" is mind boggling. Would they go up to someone with a pin and poke them and expect that to be ok because it'd only draw a little blood? I will never understand why people are sooooooooo offended by you not wanting to eat something that you know will make you feel like death.

[Takala]

The reason he's not hearing about it as much is because they are eating properly down there in Mexico, and using a corn (maize) based diet and tortillas, beans, rice and potatoes, from the New World, instead of this wheat from Europe and the mid- East which was imported up here in North America. (well, the white rice is Asian, but it's western Asian and from wet climates, and it's a different family. Wild rice is from the upper midwest here) Some of the Indigenous Native Tribes of the Americas, both north and south America, carry the genes which are going to pre dispose them to either celiac or gluten intolerance.

See here: Open Original Shared Link This link has a chart which shows the Mayans and Mazatecans and Mixtec have a LOT of carriers of the DQ8 genes. Having the genes doesn't mean you definitely get it, but it puts you in the class of people who can be triggered into developing it.

I found one Mexican board for Celiacs, if he wants to read of this in Spanish Open Original Shared Link and it has other links in Spanish Open Original Shared Link which has other links in Spanish.... this is a cute foodie gluten free blog Open Original Shared Link

Now if he were from Brazil or Spain, it would take him a month to go thru all the stuff I found from there Open Original Shared Link

Why are some people so not getting it. Well, one of the symptoms of being gluten intolerant is your brain doesn't always fire on all cylinders.... and some people are not as flexible about the thought of changing anything as others.

[cap6]

K8ling ~ Now that would get your point across!!!

[Charlie's Girl]

My husband is from Mexico, and he thinks that because people over there have never talked about celiac disease that it is not a real disease. He is really unsupportive, and so is my mother. My mother has all the same signs, and symptoms for celiac disease, and she does not want to be bothered with going gluten-free or acknowledging that my son might have it as well. Why are people so darn disrespectful; especially family members? My gut feeling is that my son has the disease, and I need to know how to keep him safe from human cross-contamination. My daughters have no symptoms, but I guess that doesn't matter, they could still have it right? I can keep myself gluten-free, but what about my kids? If you have any suggestions, please let me know?

My 82 year old mother lives with me and has cc'ed me on numerous occasions. She, too has many signs of celiac disease as do many of my relatives from her side of the family. I am making the house gluten free little by little and she whines or worse yet does a poor pitiful me aren't I the martyr routine. But I have to do it. I have been so sick for so long and won't get better fighting battles in my own home. I suggest you make your home gluten free. If you eat traditional Mexican food- he may not notice the difference. My mother goes out to lunch at least twice a week and has a church dinner on Tuesdays. As I write this- she is headed off to brunch with her friends. She gets plenty of gluten outside the home. Your husband can too.

I show my mother or read to her posts from this forum. I make sure she is more than aware of any reactions I have. I remind her daily that I am too sick to___________(fill in the blank). It is a constant educational process. You will have to embark on a steady course to educate him. It's not his fault he doesn't understand. He has no prior experience. And you will just have to be strong with your Mom. She must respect you and your children's medical needs. She wouldn't fill him up with candy if he were diabetic- would she? And if she glutens them or you- make sure she shares in the joys of vomiting, D and C. Call her every 20 minutes to let her know you are in the bathroom again.

And always trust your instincts. I believe they are the greatest gift given to women- if only we paid attention to them.

I don't know why people are so disrespectful about celiac disease. I wouldn't be. It's hard enough without having to wage a constant campaign in your own home.

Come here to rant when you need to and revel in your renewed health. Good luck with them.

[Kimbalou]

My husband is from Mexico, and he thinks that because people over there have never talked about celiac disease that it is not a real disease. He is really unsupportive, and so is my mother. My mother has all the same signs, and symptoms for celiac disease, and she does not want to be bothered with going gluten-free or acknowledging that my son might have it as well. Why are people so darn disrespectful; especially family members? My gut feeling is that my son has the disease, and I need to know how to keep him safe from human cross-contamination. My daughters have no symptoms, but I guess that doesn't matter, they could still have it right? I can keep myself gluten-free, but what about my kids? If you have any suggestions, please let me know?

I think people react differently when it's a disease regarding food. People are probably thinking you are going on a fad diet or something. So far, I've had good support. The best thing is that I am finding it is a healthier diet, really. I plan on cooking more at home now, which is always cheaper than eating out. So, try to look at the positive side of things. Since your husband is Mexican, he would be happy to know you can eat corn tortillas, rice and beans right? And possibly cheese. I'm not trying to be a smart-a$$...but seriously, I hear Mexican food has a lot of "ok" things to eat, right?

Hang in there and stick to your diet!

[bridgetm]

I've been using a tactic similar to the one Charlie's Girl suggests. While away at school my mom sends me an occasional "What's new?" text message if she hasn't heard from me in a while (a while being 24 hours) and I almost always include the status of my abdominal pain or "other than spending half the day in the bathroom..." in my response. She'll ask why I feel that way and when I reply with something like "I ate a scoop of veggies from the caf" she starts to realize how sensitive my system can be. Now she calls days before I plan to go home to ask what I want to eat over the weekend and where she should shop, if she can use a certain ingredient, etc. Sometimes she acts like I'm doing this just to make her life more difficult (it doesn't help that there are a few true hypochondriacs in the family), but then she'll see me curled up in a ball on the couch after eating out and asks what she can do to make life easier.

No one who hasn't gotten sick from eating that stuff will ever be able to understand the full implications, but little by little they might come to realize that it sucks for you too and that you're not just being dramatic.