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Survior's Guilt - Partner's Reaction To Glutening You

beth01

By beth01
in Coping with Celiac Disease

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beth01 Enthusiast
beth01
Posted

The only time I have been getting glutened lately, besides my remodeling, is from my boyfriend forgetting to brush his teeth when he gets home from being out. He is normally really good about it and it's only happened twice in six months, but accidents do happen and he feels just awful when it does happen. He told me it feels like to him to be the equivalent of punching me in the stomach. I know I am the one the suffers physically when this happens, but I by no means hold it against him or get upset with him. Most of the time I think I feel worse than he does, feel like a burden because we have to be so careful. Nothing can be spontaneous any more. I try to reassure him I'm not upset with him, but he takes it so hard.

How do you guys deal with this when the situation arises? Do your partners react the same way?

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notme Experienced
notme
Posted

(i recently b!+Ched about this to the hubs so he got more diligent and i promptly gave him my cold.  NOW i don't want him to kiss me because he has a cold and i'm better.  plus, eww.  he's got a cold)

 

just tell him he can't win LOLZ  just kidding.  i have this same dilemma!  he drinks beer and doesn't care what he eats <i don't either, except when it comes to that)  i didn't actually believe the kissing thing in the beginning until he did exactly the same thing and didn't want to make me sick over and over so he just avoids it - now i have to bug him and he is nervous he will make me sick no matter how careful he is <sooooo not spontaneous :(  what IS the solution...?

LauraTX Rising Star
LauraTX
Posted

I understand that predicament.  My hubby usually is pretty good about stopping me from kissing him or eating something off his plate, etc but we are not all perfect.  Since I get sick easily, we try to keep to simple kisses, no tonsil hockey, haha.  But last night be brought me gluten ice cream and I ate it (ugh silly me), so we both messed up and he feels SO BAD.  I could see it in his face last night.  Having another person train their mind to look out for you is always better than just one mind keeping track of things, and it seems that it is murphys law that the mess up will happen with both minds at once!  All you have to do is just learn from the situation, and learn from the slipups.  

notme Experienced
notme
Posted

i have to give him so much credit for yesterday, though:  my sister-in-law dug through the ice tray with her hands and he gave me 'that' look.  (she has a kid with a peanut allergy, so, throws a fit about anything nutty around her house, but i guess crumbs don't affect her.... bless her heart....)  he knew all that ice was no good for me anymore.   he's a keeper.  :)   

moosemalibu Collaborator
moosemalibu
Posted

This is unfortunately what happens when people really care about you. They hate to see you suffer. While it can be frustrating to have two people in misery (one physical and one emotionally) it's good to know you're so well looked after. Despite the few and far between hiccups.

GF Lover Rising Star
GF Lover
Posted

Hi Beth,

 

If I recall, you've been gluten-free for around 7 months?  

 

I think it comes down to the type of relationship you have.  I believe those that have a deep connection to their spouse/partner, can speak frankly about everything including bodily functions and have understandings of each other short comings and frailities.  

 

When my Hubs and I are intimit he will say he brushed his teeth.  If he doesn't say anything I just ask him.  Usually we just automatically brush after eating, it becomes a habit and is no longer a bid deal and can still be spontaneous.  

 

Recieving the diagnosis of any disease will take a lot of adjustments and is stressful.  Once the diagnosis is managable, you both will relax a bit.  You'll always be diligent, but it becomes a normal part of your life.  This adjustment period depends on many things ie: other diseases, damage that can't be reversed, etc.

 

You guys have to go through this together to find your 'New Normal'  :D

 

Colleen

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