Ways to tell friends please do not give me homemade goodies

[paraweazle]

How do I let well-meaning friends to stop making homemade food gifts.  I get glutened frequently.

[GFinDC]

Just tell them.  They can always buy you a gluten-free food gift if you prefer.  Or a gift certificate so you can choose your own product.

[kareng]

1 minute ago, paraweazle said:

How do I let well-meaning friends to stop making homemade food gifts.  I get glutened frequently.

You just tell them.  And you definitely don't eat the stuff.

You can explain that there is no way for them to make you safe food.  Or that you are "soooooo sensitive".  Or your doctor said.... Or have your spouse, older kid, mother, etc tell them for you.

If they just give you these things once a year at Christmas, then you can thank them and  give it away or throw it out when they aren't around.

[weebl]

On 8/3/2018 at 6:09 AM, kareng said:

You just tell them.  And you definitely don't eat the stuff.

You can explain that there is no way for them to make you safe food.  Or that you are "soooooo sensitive".  Or your doctor said.... Or have your spouse, older kid, mother, etc tell them for you.

If they just give you these things once a year at Christmas, then you can thank them and  give it away or throw it out when they aren't around.

Curiously, I got a gift of homemade goodies from extended family, with them knowing full well I couldn't eat it, and they gave me that disclaimer (cookies) and that I would likely share with the others in my house. But then there was other homemade stuff in there too (chocolates), which they figured I could eat, but I knew there was no way I was going to, between not knowing how it was prepared, and the fact that it is in the same box as the cookies, cross-contamination was definitely guaranteed. 

The stuff is sitting in the box, waiting for me to give to my wife and kids (letting the kids work on all the other junk food they got over Christmas first).

It sure irked me that they knew I couldn't eat it, yet gave it anyway.

[Lorjenn22]

On 8/3/2018 at 8:04 AM, paraweazle said:

How do I let well-meaning friends to stop making homemade food gifts.  I get glutened frequently.

 

21 hours ago, weebl said:

Curiously, I got a gift of homemade goodies from extended family, with them knowing full well I couldn't eat it, and they gave me that disclaimer (cookies) and that I would likely share with the others in my house. But then there was other homemade stuff in there too (chocolates), which they figured I could eat, but I knew there was no way I was going to, between not knowing how it was prepared, and the fact that it is in the same box as the cookies, cross-contamination was definitely guaranteed. 

The stuff is sitting in the box, waiting for me to give to my wife and kids (letting the kids work on all the other junk food they got over Christmas first).

It sure irked me that they knew I couldn't eat it, yet gave it anyway.

 

[Lorjenn22]

hi, i d k id like to know too! what irked me is relatives that have been to our house twice for special occasions sent us chereyls cookies, and not gluten-free either, after hering all about how we don’t keep anything not gluten-free in house! my mother tho doesn’t hv be gluten-free trys not keep any thing and this year we were mailed 2 different baked goods by relatives we were sure got the hint! last year they mailed us grapefruit and my mother wrote thankyou saying how great it was! now i wonder if they thought the diet was temporary but us celiacs no thats never the case

[Ronnie d]

take the gifts,smile and thank them,and take it to work and let others enjoy. or just let your family enjoy.

  you know you can't eat it, but I don't see a need to hurt the kind persons feelings.

[apprehensiveengineer]

Depends on how sustained the relationship is. Are they likely to ever get you a gift again, or is this a one-time thing (eg. goodbye gift)? If you'll not see them again, don't trouble yourself and give it away (I try for donation/food bank if possible).

If it's someone you'll be interacting with again in the future who is likely to see you in food situations, it is best to be honest right off the bat. I usually tell people that it's more complicated than they think because of the way our labeling laws are, and because they would have to buy new cookware and unopened packages. This usually turns people off, but sometimes people don't believe that this could be true for whatever reason. Then I emphasize that I don't even let my parents cook for me at home unless I supervise them, because it is easy to make a very small mistake that will hurt me a lot. That usually helps diffuse them feeling insulted about my not trusting them.

 

[Awol cast iron stomach]

All great answers above. I began to say 2 phrases. Initally this was hard for me.

I do not allow gluten across my threshold.

and

I only eat food I bring from home. 

I go into more detail if necessary, I am celiac with multiple food intoleranes.  As most here say either they immediately know what celiac is as a friend or relative has it or they are clueless. 

I am finding once I start this people share their food allergy and while not exactly the same part of immune system triggered,  I say oh so you have a medical food restriction as well. This works quite well and the subject gets changed shortly after.

One time a child have me some wrapped cookies, she being very young, I said they are beautiful thank you. Once she left the building with mom , I pitched them and washed hands. She is not someone I regularly see.

 

Edited January 28, 2019 by Awol cast iron stomach
Missed word