New Attitude Problem For Me

[rinne]

Rinne,

I could have wrote this myself This is EXACTLY what goes through my mind. It is a feeling of being torn definately. I also feel like I am between two places. The first being that I want to give advice and the second knowing that I can't because they won't change until they are ready.

Sarah, I'm glad to know I am not the only one who feels this way.

I wonder if a lot of people are in a gluten fog, a kind of drugged state from which clear thinking is difficult, I think I was. In my experience it was the pain that woke me up, perhaps others also need to get to the point where you cannot ignore it anymore. Maybe that is when they are receptive to hearing what we have to say about gluten.

[BRUMI1968]

One of the unfortunate things with the timing of all of this is that, when I first started to go gluten-free I had all this new and growing energy which came out in anger and frustration (still healing, still dealing with residual anxiety) -- I'd been repressing a lot of that over time as I dealt with my stuff. I started to be really direct in my communication to him about the partying just at the time when he most needed me to lay off (before his dissertation defense). I was trying to tell him that I was feeling pulled down by his habits -- and that was my main issue.

My man and I are in therapy -- our therapist has celiac in fact -- and an interesting thing came up the other day. I said that I was feeling more comfortable expressing anger now that I was eating meat - I thought maybe the chickens were mad and they were passing it onto me. I was being slightly tongue in cheek of course. But he said that maybe now that my gut is finally feeling better, I'm no longer metabolizing my anger that way, but am able to express it. I'm sure Joe doesn't necessarily think this is a good thing, at least not at the time I'm expressing it, but it is so important for our relationship and for me.

Also, perhaps, finally finding actions that can help us and then committing to doing them is empowering - when we are empowered, we feel better about stating aloud our needs - more legitimate in doing so.

I saw my complaining friend yesterday after a few days off. He only complained about his seasonal allergies, so that was a good day. I'm trying just to not respond to his complaining at all, but just to sing a song in my head or something while he is doing it. Maybe it'll be unfun for him to do, and then he just won't. We'll see. Maybe ... he's an alcoholic, I don't remember if I said that ... his issues with his health overall and his deserving to be in top shape are somehow connected to his addictive personality. I'm not sure. Anyway, if the part of it that really fries me is that he NEVER takes my (or his own) advice, I should probably just not give it repeatedly. Once/twice/thrice...but not constantly. It ends up with me sounding like a nag anyway.

Thanks all for your posts.

[Rikki Tikki]

Sally - we need you in Rachelville, clearly....just meander on over to the OMG I think I can eat dairy thread....but be warned, it's a looney bin now over there....

Ok Susan but before I go I would like to know what job I can have

[DingoGirl]

Ok Susan but before I go I would like to know what job I can have

Sally - - we still have many openings and the magical thing about R-ville is that, whatever you're good at is basically your job! It's perfect! And the only screening process is that you have to be Celiac, or at least gluten-intolerant!! yay! come on over!

[floridanative]

Well I'm late but this thread is great! Recently while visiting family I found out my BIL's (no relation) father is now having that numbness that diabetics get so he can't hold his own grandkids anymore. He's been diabetic for years but is really not doing well now and I think he's only 62. Well my BIL eats the most unhealty diet of anyone I've ever met - tons of coke, bag of chips a day, blah, blah. I guess he doesn't care that he'll probalby get diabetes too. So my poor little nephew is doing what at age 5? Eating junk all the time. It's so sad because he's 5, so he can't know better. One morning he ate very lttle of his breakfast, eggs, bacon and fruit. He asked to be excused and 10 minutes later he asked for some Hostess junk thing. He didn't get it because his Mother put her foot down but when it's my BIL in charge, he'll give the kid anything he wants - which to date has never been anything healthy. It's times like those that I really do appreciate not living any closer that 2 hours away. It just breaks my heart to see what this kid is growing up eating. It's disgusting.

[CarlaB]

This is the first look I've taken at this thread ... I'm getting ready to take the kids to the pool, but I skimmed over it.

It does bother me when people are unhealthy and don't take care of themselves, then complain about it. I'm not talking about someone who is a bit overweight, or a bit underweight, we all differ in size -- but some people are clearly eating too much garbage as someone else pointed out about the lines at fast food restaurants. Obesity is a huge health crisis in the world today, and some may be obese for health issues, but if you look around many are obese for how they eat and don't exercise. Obesity is not the only problem either, you've got the guy with the icky tongue, the pre-diabetic with the soda, etc. I think the frustration is mutual because they see someone like us who has to take charge of their health through diet, and does, then they feel guilty. Often I find that I'm not the one who brings up the health problem. The overweight person will ... usually it's something like, "You're so lucky you're naturally thin." I assure them that I have to work at it with exercise and diet, that at one point in my life I was 20 pounds overweight and used exercise and healthy diet -- took a year to take off that weight! Then, I'm familiar with the opposite problem, too -- needing to gain weight!!

Anyway, I think we attract that kind of comment and complaining because they are feeling guilty that they are not taking charge like we are. Maybe it's their way of seeking encouragement ...