Jump to content
  • Welcome to Celiac.com!

    You have found your celiac tribe! Join us and ask questions in our forum, share your story, and connect with others.


  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A1):
    Celiac.com Sponsor (A1-M):
  • Get Celiac.com Updates:
    Support Our Content
    eNewsletter
    Donate

The Funny Pages - Tickle Me Elbow - The Original


TriticusToxicum

Recommended Posts

Jestgar Rising Star

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

I guess that's the cheese lovers equivalent to watching the grass grow.


Celiac.com Sponsor (A8):
Celiac.com Sponsor (A8):



Celiac.com Sponsor (A8-M):



  • Replies 51k
  • Created
  • Last Reply
PJconfig Newbie
Weebles wobble, but they don't fall down..........can NEVER get THAT out of my head.

How about the theme to "MASH". Suicide is painless, it last through all the ages. Bad Bad!

or Bad Bad Leroy Brown, badest man in the who d.... town.

Had a brother named Reathel, gave him a good bottle of wine for a holiday with a card that said Unkl Weebles Wobbles, but He don't Fall Down.

PJconfig Newbie
Ok, now this cracks me up :D

Visa add some charge to my card, it was 27p (about 40c) but I have no other transacations that month on that card.

I forget what is was a currency transaction... some surcharge they added the followingg month.

it costs me about 50% more to post a cheque (standard rate) and about 20x more for a guaranteed delivery...

Today I get my bill ... 12 pounds for late payment .. total 12.27

yeah I realise its a contract and its still trivial money but are they serious...

I just find the whole thing rather funny!

Always send them 10 to 25c more than required. That cost them to notify you each month that you are over and sometimes they have to even refund it to you.

Jestgar Rising Star
Always send them 10 to 25c more than required. That cost them to notify you each month that you are over and sometimes they have to even refund it to you.

I've actually done this on purpose - just to annoy a particularly annoying company. :)

Mtndog Collaborator
PATTI!! It must be a 'blue hammer' thing that we crrrave chocolate!!! :lol:

:lol::lol: Freaky bunny!

Ok, totally unrelated to Easter...strictly for cheese fanatics

Open Original Shared Link

:blink::blink: ...people actually watch this???? :unsure:

OMG- I was a blue hammer too!

A watch cheese get old video? I thought my life was boring!!!!!!!!!

GFP and PJ- I still have $5 in a Bank of America account just to annoy them!

Religious Jokes for this weeekend (not intended to offend anyone)

Easter Joke:

Why shouldn't you tell an Easter Egg a joke? ? Because it might crack up!

And from kosherforpassover.com:

Moses was sitting in the Egyptian ghetto. Things were terrible. Pharaoh wouldn't even speak to him. The rest of the Israelites were mad at him and making the overseers even more irritable than usual, etc. He was about ready to give up.

Suddenly a booming, sonorous voice spoke from above:

"You, Moses, heed me ! I have good news, and bad news."

Moses was staggered. The voice continued:

"You, Moses, will lead the People of Israel from bondage. If Pharaoh refuses to release your bonds, I will smite Egypt with a rain of frogs"

"You, Moses, will lead the People of Israel to the Promised Land. If Pharaoh blocks your way, I will smite Egypt with a plague of Locust."

"You, Moses, will lead the People of Israel to freedom and safety. If Pharaoh's army pursues you, I will part the waters of the Red Sea to open your path to the Promised Land."

Moses was stunned. He stammered, "That's.... that's fantastic. I can't believe it! --- But what's the bad news?"

"You, Moses, must write the Environmental Impact Statement."

:P :P :P :P :P Poor Moses

And for me (Buddhist jokes are VERY hard to find):

QUESTION: Why can't the Buddha vacuum under the sofa?

ANSWER: Because he has no attachments.

DingoGirl Enthusiast
9. Removed from a department store last December after screaming at Santa, "You're going to die up there, fat man!"

:lol: for some reason that one nearly made me spit out my coffee

Always send them 10 to 25c more than required. That cost them to notify you each month that you are over and sometimes they have to even refund it to you.

excellent PJ! welcome to our madness.

okay - here's something - -

Open Original Shared Link

remember not to move the cursor onto the picture until you SEE the whale....... ;)

Mtndog Collaborator

Now that is something disgusting yet all Celiacs can appreciate. I try not to do it naked in a pool though!


Celiac.com Sponsor (A8):
Celiac.com Sponsor (A8):



Celiac.com Sponsor (A8-M):



DingoGirl Enthusiast
Now that is something disgusting yet all Celiacs can appreciate. I try not to do it naked in a pool though!

Yes, I don't stick my bum in the air to pass gas in the pool.... :lol:

my mom sent me the whale, and said, send it to all your SillyYak friends who seem to appreciate your scatological humour. :P

Mtndog Collaborator
Yes, I don't stick my bum in the air to pass gas in the pool.... :lol:

my mom sent me the whale, and said, send it to all your SillyYak friends who seem to appreciate your scatological humour. :P

She said "scatological" :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :P

jerseyangel Proficient

Susie,

I'm exhausted and slap happy from shopping, baking and cleaning for tomorrow! That "whale" just cracked me up--I'm sitting here all alone, laughing like an idiot :lol:

Bev--"no attachments" :lol: Very funny!

Happy Easter all you nuts :D

Mtndog Collaborator

Thank you Easter Bunny! Bawk! Bawk!

nikki-uk Enthusiast

HAPPY EASTER SILLIES!!!!!

Open Original Shared Link

Blimin brilliant!! :lol: ,thank-you Susan.

Butt humour alway's goes down well!!

I'm exhausted and slap happy from shopping, baking and cleaning for tomorrow!

..Sounds great Patti, are you having the boys over for a delicious dinner??

My 2 youngest are sitting in the garden having a 'chocolate picnic' and will probably be shortly very hyper-active due do the disgusting amount of sugar hitting their bloodstream!! :ph34r: ..but hey, it's only for one day.

Well now, today's the day Terry and I are giving up smoking :ph34r: (yes, I am ashamed to admit my weakness)

....bracing myself for severe dark mood swings :unsure:

Being as the kids are off school for another week I hope my patience will hold :lol:

We both gave up a couple of years ago, but it slowly crept back in......BUT!!...we are super determined this time.

It's gotta be done and somehow it seems daft that I spend so much time being careful what we eat and yet smoke lol!

I mean, here's me not eating gluten, dairy, or any trans fats, hanging out in health food shops and gym classes and yet smoking :huh: ..the two just don't tally!! :lol::lol:

Sooo, we are both 'patched up' and no turning back :unsure: ..I'm scared :unsure:

I've bought myself a stack of crosswords and puzzles to keep me busy, plus loads to do in the garden planting seeds in the greenhouse.

Poor Terry has a list as long as your arm of DIY things to do around the house :lol:

TODAY I am a non smoker ;)

Mtndog Collaborator

Congratulations!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It's my dark secret too :ph34r:

jerseyangel Proficient
HAPPY EASTER SILLIES!!!!!

..Sounds great Patti, are you having the boys over for a delicious dinner??

My 2 youngest are sitting in the garden having a 'chocolate picnic' and will probably be shortly very hyper-active due do the disgusting amount of sugar hitting their bloodstream!! :ph34r: ..but hey, it's only for one day.

Well now, today's the day Terry and I are giving up smoking :ph34r: (yes, I am ashamed to admit my weakness)

....bracing myself for severe dark mood swings :unsure:

Being as the kids are off school for another week I hope my patience will hold :lol:

We both gave up a couple of years ago, but it slowly crept back in......BUT!!...we are super determined this time.

It's gotta be done and somehow it seems daft that I spend so much time being careful what we eat and yet smoke lol!

I mean, here's me not eating gluten, dairy, or any trans fats, hanging out in health food shops and gym classes and yet smoking :huh: ..the two just don't tally!! :lol::lol:

Sooo, we are both 'patched up' and no turning back :unsure: ..I'm scared :unsure:

I've bought myself a stack of crosswords and puzzles to keep me busy, plus loads to do in the garden planting seeds in the greenhouse.

Poor Terry has a list as long as your arm of DIY things to do around the house :lol:

TODAY I am a non smoker ;)

Congrats Nikki! :D I just know that you and Terry will be successful this time ;)

I smoked for about 8 years--I quit when I was pregnant because I was so nauseous I couldn't even think about food or cigarettes! I will say that even now I still get a "pull"--no more cravings--to light up now and again! :ph34r:

I think because you're doing it together, and have it planned out so well, you are really gonna do it this time. And look at all the things you are going to get done around the house! Win-win :lol:

I love the idea of a chocolate picnic! I hope they had fun. :D

Yes--I'm making Easter dinner here--the boys and a girlfriend will be here, of course. I'm making a rib roast, mashed potatoes, gravy, carrots, string beans, salad, tomato and mottzerella salad, and rolls. I made a gluten free lemon merangue pie and ordered a regular chocolate chip cake from the bakery.

What do you have planned? I hope your weather is cooperating--ours is sunny but cold.

Have a wonderful holiday my friend, and good luck with the cigs! :)

DingoGirl Enthusiast
She said "scatological" :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :P

:lol::lol: one of my favorite words and now, so applicable and appropriate, is it not? I said it to my GI on first visit - - - - had been examining poop every day WITH A FLASHLIGHT, egads.....so I said to him, "so far in my scatological studies, I have seen...." and he thought I was the funniest thing...ha ha! little does he know.............. :lol:

I'm exhausted and slap happy from shopping, baking and cleaning for tomorrow! That "whale" just cracked me up--I'm sitting here all alone, laughing like an idiot :lol:

:lol: Excellent Patti. And BTW, your Easter meal sounds fabulishous!!! :rolleyes:

Nikki - - - YOU CAN DO IT!!! but guess what, Bev, Nikki, I, too, am a secret smoker. :ph34r: It's those dang cloves, I keep a pack in my freezer, as some of you know. Used to be one pack a year, seriously, now I think I'm up to three packs a year. Very bad!

Well I am off to enjoy this PERFECT spring day God has given us.

HAPPY EASTER YOU NUTTY NUTS!!!!!

:D

nikki-uk Enthusiast

Good Morning sillies!! :)

Yesterday's face

A gloriously sunny day here in London and day 2 of 'giving up the fags'

NOTE:In the UK ''fags'' are slang for cigarettes.

If I say ''I'm dying for a fag'' it does not mean ''I'm dying for a gay man'' ;)

Well, yesterday wasn't as bad as I thought it might.....just a background thought of 'something's missing'.

However Terry is feeling the strain slightly more me thinks :unsure: ....had his head in a puzzle book for ages last night and did not speak for 4 hours!! :blink:

I know from past experience that the patches can stop you from sleeping properly so I took mine off at bedtime.

Terry didn't however - as he usually sleeps extremely deep (due to his depression meds I think) and had a fitful night full of weird dreams.

One of his dreams was he went to the pharmacy and they were selling shelves full of delicious (but ridiculously cheap) looking gluten-free pastries and cakes and buns and so he bought them all!!!!

I, too, am a secret smoker. :ph34r: It's those dang cloves, I keep a pack in my freezer, as some of you know. Used to be one pack a year, seriously, now I think I'm up to three packs a year. Very bad!

Wow, not ever come across Clove cigarettes but they sound terribly exotic and marvellous!! :lol:

Mtndog Collaborator

GO NIKKI GO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You can do it and then I'll do it (God- I gotta do it!). It is hard and don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

Here's something to make you giggle in the meantime:Open Original Shared Link

nikki-uk Enthusiast
Here's something to make you giggle in the meantime:Open Original Shared Link

Ha - ha :lol:

Thanks Bev,.....and was that Bill Murray in there too??

Mtndog Collaborator

I believe it twas!

Here's another favorite: Open Original Shared Link

DingoGirl Enthusiast
Wow, not ever come across Clove cigarettes but they sound terribly exotic and marvellous!! :lol:

Nikki! stay away from the Cloves! they are eeeeeeeeeeeee-villlllle!!! I am quite sure you've encountered them, or at least smelled them....I picked up this habit in college from all the European soccer players I hung out with, as I was, er, practicing my language skills ;) (that actually is the truth!).....well anywho these evil cigarettes are said to cause bleeding lungs and contain even more nicotine than regulars :ph34r: they are vile.....I usually smoke half....used to be one a month.....they give me quite a nice little buzz...... :ph34r::ph34r::ph34r: I need help.....

you guys won't beee-LIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEVE what I just did at the car wash......I will tell you later, IF he ever calls me..... oh dear gaaaaaaaaaaawd!!!!!!!!! :o

Bev - I LOVE that hot tub bit! always makes me laugh....

nikki-uk Enthusiast

Day 3 and all is well ;)

....I usually smoke half....used to be one a month.....they give me quite a nice little buzz...... :ph34r::ph34r::ph34r: I need help.....

OH DEAR LORD!! - you are teasing me now!! :lol: ...why, the more EVIL - the better the buzz I've always found!! :ph34r: (more's the pity)

you guys won't beee-LIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEVE what I just did at the car wash......I will tell you later, IF he ever calls me..... oh dear gaaaaaaaaaaawd!!!!!!!!! :o

More teasing Susan???...I'm intrigued :blink: ...

(BTW....loving the new avatar :D )

Mtndog Collaborator

Susie- I LOVE your new avatar and you MUST tell us about your car wash adventure.

You guys have to check this out. It's very foul but funny. It's called Photoshop Phridays and here's a good one:

Open Original Shared Link

nikki-uk Enthusiast
You guys have to check this out. It's very foul but funny. It's called Photoshop Phridays and here's a good one:

Open Original Shared Link

YUCK!!!!!! but funny :D

DingoGirl Enthusiast

OMG - - "pig scabs" - - (page 2) :huh:

and there's Nikki's hybrid pig bat - - - :lol: Um, do tell us where you came up with that? Oh my gosh......reminds me of the time in Monterey - - - I had a guy over there doing some work, and he had a tiny, baby pig, about the size of the one in your photo, it was his pet......probably weighed about 7 or 8 pounds - - - well, the dogs were absolutely out of their dingo minds over said piglet - - chased and sniffed the poor thing all over the place - - I will have to find the photos and scan and put them up here - - -

the car wash incident - - - :lol: There was a very attractive man - - working on some construction there (he was a contractor or something like that, with a brand new Ford F series truck - - very bad-ass).....kept smiling at me, rather shyly - - - so I handed my phone number to a guy that worked there to give to the cute guy - - - and then sped off - - - terrified - - - and later I wondered if a) my handwriting was legible (quite often it is most assuredly not), and 2) if he gave my number to the correct person...... :o

:lol::lol::lol:

....well anywho, I"m too much of a chicken, if he DOES call, I won't even answer the phone :ph34r:

nikki-uk Enthusiast
OMG - - "pig scabs" - - (page 2) :huh:

:huh:

and there's Nikki's hybrid pig bat - - - :lol: Um, do tell us where you came up with that?

Well...*snort* - - I fear the lack of toxic chemicals coursing through my brain has rendered me with a very childish sense of humour :lol:

We (2 boys + me) were having a mini picnic in the garden with lots of left over sticky sweets and choccy from Easter and we invited the farm animal toys...(what!!..you don't do that?? :unsure: )..BUT!! the halloween toys were mixed up with them.....thus my 12yr old invented the piggy bat

I don't know why, but it REALLY tickled me :lol::lol: (...I am quite mad... : :( )

I LOVE PIGS!!

My first dog was a white Staffordshire Bull Terrier ..and he always reminded me of a pig, snorting and snuffling with wee stumpy legs :lol: (RIP Ollie)

the car wash incident - - - :lol: There was a very attractive man - - working on some construction there (he was a contractor or something like that, with a brand new Ford F series truck - - very bad-ass).....kept smiling at me, rather shyly - - - so I handed my phone number to a guy that worked there to give to the cute guy - - - and then sped off - - - terrified - - - and later I wondered if a) my handwriting was legible (quite often it is most assuredly not), and 2) if he gave my number to the correct person...... :o

Well now Susan, sounds to me as if you got some bad-ass attitude yourself there girly - you -go - girl!!!!! B)

Such impulsiveness indeed!!!

YOU BETTER BE ANSWERING YOUR PHONE!!!!

:lol::lol::lol::lol:

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

  • Get Celiac.com Updates:
    Support Celiac.com:
    Join eNewsletter
    Donate

  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A17):
    Celiac.com Sponsor (A17):





    Celiac.com Sponsors (A17-M):




  • Recent Activity

    1. - knitty kitty replied to Jane02's topic in Gluten-Free Foods, Products, Shopping & Medications
      9

      Desperately need a vitamin D supplement. I've reacted to most brands I've tried.

    2. - Jane02 replied to Jane02's topic in Gluten-Free Foods, Products, Shopping & Medications
      9

      Desperately need a vitamin D supplement. I've reacted to most brands I've tried.

    3. - knitty kitty replied to Jane02's topic in Gluten-Free Foods, Products, Shopping & Medications
      9

      Desperately need a vitamin D supplement. I've reacted to most brands I've tried.

    4. 0

      Penobscot Bay, Maine: Nurturing Gluten-Free Wellness Retreat with expert celiac dietitian, Melinda Dennis

    5. - Scott Adams replied to Jane02's topic in Gluten-Free Foods, Products, Shopping & Medications
      9

      Desperately need a vitamin D supplement. I've reacted to most brands I've tried.

  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A19):
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      133,334
    • Most Online (within 30 mins)
      7,748

    johnfreirefr
    Newest Member
    johnfreirefr
    Joined
  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A20):
  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A22):
  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      121.6k
    • Total Posts
      1m
  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A21):
  • Upcoming Events

  • Posts

    • knitty kitty
      @Jane02, I hear you about the kale and collard greens.  I don't do dairy and must eat green leafies, too, to get sufficient calcium.  I must be very careful because some calcium supplements are made from ground up crustacean shells.  When I was deficient in Vitamin D, I took high doses of Vitamin D to correct the deficiency quickly.  This is safe and nontoxic.  Vitamin D level should be above 70 nmol/L.  Lifeguards and indigenous Pacific Islanders typically have levels between 80-100 nmol/L.   Levels lower than this are based on amount needed to prevent disease like rickets and osteomalacia. We need more thiamine when we're physically ill, emotionally and mentally stressed, and if we exercise like an athlete or laborer.  We need more thiamine if we eat a diet high in simple carbohydrates.  For every 500 kcal of carbohydrates, we need 500-1000 mg more of thiamine to process the carbs into energy.  If there's insufficient thiamine the carbs get stored as fat.  Again, recommended levels set for thiamine are based on minimum amounts needed to prevent disease.  This is often not adequate for optimum health, nor sufficient for people with absorption problems such as Celiac disease.  Gluten free processed foods are not enriched with vitamins like their gluten containing counterparts.  Adding a B Complex and additional thiamine improves health for Celiacs.  Thiamine is safe and nontoxic even in high doses.  Thiamine helps the mitochondria in cells to function.  Thiamine interacts with each of the other B vitamins.  They are all water soluble and easily excreted if not needed. Interesting Reading: Clinical trial: B vitamins improve health in patients with coeliac disease living on a gluten-free diet https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/19154566/ Safety and effectiveness of vitamin D mega-dose: A systematic review https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/34857184/ High dose dietary vitamin D allocates surplus calories to muscle and growth instead of fat via modulation of myostatin and leptin signaling https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/38766160/ Safety of High-Dose Vitamin D Supplementation: Secondary Analysis of a Randomized Controlled Trial https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/31746327/ Vitamins and Celiac Disease: Beyond Vitamin D https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC11857425/ Investigating the therapeutic potential of tryptophan and vitamin A in modulating immune responses in celiac disease: an experimental study https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/40178602/ Investigating the Impact of Vitamin A and Amino Acids on Immune Responses in Celiac Disease Patients https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC10814138/
    • Jane02
      Thank you so much @knitty kitty for this insightful information! I would have never considered fractionated coconut oil to be a potential source of GI upset. I will consider all the info you shared. Very interesting about the Thiamine deficiency.  I've tracked daily averages of my intake in a nutrition software. The only nutrient I can't consistently meet from my diet is vitamin D. Calcium is a hit and miss as I rely on vegetables, dark leafy greens as a major source, for my calcium intake. I'm able to meet it when I either eat or juice a bundle of kale or collard greens daily haha. My thiamine intake is roughly 120% of my needs, although I do recognize that I may not be absorbing all of these nutrients consistently with intermittent unintentional exposures to gluten.  My vitamin A intake is roughly 900% (~6400 mcg/d) of my needs as I eat a lot of sweet potato, although since it's plant-derived vitamin A (beta-carotene) apparently it's not likely to cause toxicity.  Thanks again! 
    • knitty kitty
      Hello, @Jane02,  I take Naturewise D 3.  It contains olive oil.   Some Vitamin D supplements, like D Drops, are made with fractionated coconut oil which can cause digestive upsets.  Fractionated coconut oil is not the same as coconut oil used for cooking.  Fractionated coconut oil has been treated for longer shelf life, so it won't go bad in the jar, and thus may be irritating to the digestive system. I avoid supplements made with soy because many people with Celiac Disease also react to soy.  Mixed tocopherols, an ingredient in Thornes Vitamin D, may be sourced from soy oil.  Kirkland's has soy on its ingredient list. I avoid things that might contain or be exposed to crustaceans, like Metagenics says on its label.  I have a crustacean/shellfish/fish allergy.  I like Life Extension Bioactive Complete B Complex.  I take additional Thiamine B 1 in the form Benfotiamine which helps the intestines heal, Life Extension MegaBenfotiamine. Thiamine is needed to activate Vitamin D.   Low thiamine can make one feel like they are getting glutened after a meal containing lots of simple carbohydrates like white rice, or processed gluten free foods like cookies and pasta.   It's rare to have a single vitamin deficiency.  The water soluble B Complex vitamins should be supplemented together with additional Thiamine in the form Benfotiamine and Thiamine TTFD (tetrahydrofurfuryl disulfide) to correct subclinical deficiencies that don't show up on blood tests.  These are subclinical deficiencies within organs and tissues.  Blood is a transportation system.  The body will deplete tissues and organs in order to keep a supply of thiamine in the bloodstream going to the brain and heart.   If you're low in Vitamin D, you may well be low in other fat soluble vitamins like Vitamin A and Vitamin K. Have you seen a dietician?
    • Scott Adams
      I do not know this, but since they are labelled gluten-free, and are not really a product that could easily be contaminated when making them (there would be not flour in the air of such a facility, for example), I don't really see contamination as something to be concerned about for this type of product. 
    • trents
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

NOTICE: This site places This site places cookies on your device (Cookie settings). on your device. Continued use is acceptance of our Terms of Use, and Privacy Policy.