The Funny Pages - Tickle Me Elbow - The Original

[jerseyangel]

Mygawd...Methinks this would not bring one prosperity, but the heimlich manoever...

[Mtndog]

Ha! I'll put it under my hubby's bowl!! I don't work, so he needs to be the one who's prosperous!

Hey, we can meet, too! Chloe and I will be going to NY on the 9th, can you be there?

OMG-my appt is on the 10th!!!!!!! In NYC. Do you fly in and out the same day? More than likely, I will take the train down on the 9th if hotels aren't BLOODY outrageously expensive. But Nikki and I can always share a room cuz I KNOW she is coming!

Say What??!!?? Hoglets in my hair??!!?? Did my hair look that bad??? Ummmm . . . plus, we were at the mall. Only service animals allowed and my hoglets are not seeing-eye-hoglets. Had to hide them in my purse.

:lol: :lol: :lol: Seeing eye hoglets!

Good gawd, have never negotiated the car thing without a man. Alas, I have made some phone calls, and feel slightly adequately informed.......

Just bring the Iroqouis Skull Crusher and beat them into submission- heck, they'll probably GIVE you the car if you show up with that!

Okay, I'm sitting here on the computer while one son vacuums and another son empties the trash

When I grow up, I want to be Carla!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

He who survives the pudding prospers

:lol: :lol: And everyone else chokes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Mtndog]

OMG- just got the funniest email from TripAdvisor (for those of you that don't go there, it's a place to review hotels, resorts, restaurants, etc). These were the funniest comments that they got in 2007:

1. Not So Great Expectations

"I could have done without the blood-stained mattress and the (actual)

chunk of poop on my bedspread, but I didn't expect the Hilton." (a celiac got there first!)

2. Rest in Peace

"I spent the night in the (hotel) room and experienced a friendly spirit.

This presence got into bed with me, an old lady, she was nice and I just

patted her on the head and we had a comfortable restful sleep. I think I

will ask for a different room next time." :lol:

3. Mime Over Matter

"The neighborhood is filled with aggressive mimes, including one sitting

on a toilet bowl (how creative). Room cards are changed for no reason and

you cannot understand why you can't get into your room. All in all it was

a very unpleasant stay." (Where's Nikki?)

4. Deep Thoughts

"Time could be spent pondering over the meaning of some of the many safety

signs around the complex. Out of the several we managed to identify, the

two we found to be of greatest use were 1. Not to step on any crocodiles

whilst bare foot, and 2. No ugly, or spotty children to frequent the

pool." (OMGawd!!!!!!!!!! Spotty children!)

5. Is That Really What You Meant?

"I echo the sentiments of the previous reviewer. The ambience is lacking

to be sure, but the food is like angels copulating on your tongue." (WOW! Is it gluten-free?)

6. Freezing Over

"Sleeping in the street during a blizzard would be better than staying at

this hell-hole. The place should be imploded." :lol:

7. No Accounting for Taste

"Subject: Crab Trap Restaurant. We enjoyed our experience at the Crap

Trap. The food is very good with nice size portions and reasonable prices

(especially for the shore). The only down side is the wait." (huh? )

8. A Sore for Sight Eyes

"Food not special, and the couple that lives there with their dog is very

'homey' and 'folksy' types. Not for everyone. The premises are well kept,

but some private parts we could see thru open door were not." (oh no- HOMEY!!!!!!!!!)

9. Leave It to Beaver

"Imagine awakening at 4:00 am to the sound of loud footsteps in the

stairwell, only to realize that someone is drunk and knocking on your

hotel door saying, 'Beaver...it's me. Let me in, Beaver.'" :lol:

10. The Last Laugh

"In fact, I told the management there that I was putting a review on your

website about their poor service and they laughed at me and said go right

ahead, nobody reads the TripAdvisor site." OOPS!

[elye]

Gaaaaaahhhhh!!!

Angels copulating on your tongue.....

[Darn210]

. . . but the food is like angels copulating on your tongue.

Not sure if this is good or bad . . .

"Food not special, and the couple that lives there with their dog is very

'homey' and 'folksy' types. Not for everyone. The premises are well kept,

but some private parts we could see thru open door were not." (oh no- HOMEY!!!!!!!!!)

Folksy private parts . . .

[DingoGirl]

Managed to stay up until midnight - very boring really - didn't even get drunk (bad cold)

...but have successfully passed on my germs to hubby....he of course feels like he has a tennis ball in his throat....as opposed to my golfball

OMG - last night I went out - alone - at midnight into the still, silent 'hood here at Stepford - not a creature was stirring - and banged my spoon onto the pots and pans.

Gail had quite a good laugh over it and the cacaphony it caused and she was quite proud that I did it, as was I. Good gawd....I wish SOMEONE would show some........originality here.

Stepford POPPED IN yesterday adn gave me my check - $125 for 10 days - and Spike goes on long walks with us, comes over and hangs out for HOURS (he is not allowed out of his kennel in her house - so he is only in the back yard, or in his kennel - period), and receives MUCH better care than in the $28 per day kennel......so this whole thing is going to be renegotiated.

Nicola - what is Cava? does it come from hog jowls??????????

PINCH PUNCH SILLIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hey! No MIL complaining allowed, Amanda, unless your situation has been more dire than mine, i.e., MIL here for many, many days....

dear gawd - not sure HOW you've managed this - - what does she DO all day long?

I feel for you Emily, that would be murder for me. Mine is nice and all but she pushes her views....religion and beliefs are a main one, she always tries to start a debate. If it is not that she will just start acting emotional. Like John's dad works a lot and so if he doesn't come home exactly when she tells him, when he gets there and we are there she will get mad and then cry and it makes you feel uncomfortable.

Omygawd.....this really is, um, kinda crazy.....is she a gluten-brain?????

Thankfully I was able to get over it and partied without tears until the wee hours. I hardly drank at all but I feel hung over from lack of sleep. I'm not sure how I was able to study all night and then write an exam in the morning a few years ago while in University. I can hardly think straight enough to do the laundry today.

Hi Alex! I think we ALL wonder how we used to do all of that......college and studying are for the young!!!!!!!

I would like to wish everyone here a very happy, healthy and prosperous new year.

I really do love to pop in here and get my silly "fix" for the day. Thanks for that.

AND, I have enough blackeye peas for everyone. Carla, don't forget to put a nickle under your bowl of peas, it will bring you prosperity.

Hi Lisa! OMG - do you REALLY come here for your daily fix of Silly? In a secret, clandestine sort of way?

I think people are scared to have it known that they associate with us

:lol:

Janet - seeing-eye hoglets *snort*

[blueeyedmanda]

I am so going to diet this year....no more gummi bears....

[Darn210]

I am so going to diet this year....no more gummi bears....

Amanda, we know you have a secret stash . . .

[Mtndog]

OMG - last night I went out - alone - at midnight into the still, silent 'hood here at Stepford - not a creature was stirring - and banged my spoon onto the pots and pans.

Gail had quite a good laugh over it and the cacaphony it caused and she was quite proud that I did it, as was I. Good gawd....I wish SOMEONE would show some........originality here.

THAT IS AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hi Lisa! OMG - do you REALLY come here for your daily fix of Silly? In a secret, clandestine sort of way?

I think people are scared to have it known that they associate with us

:lol:

I'm afraid of us too!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am so going to diet this year....no more gummi bears....

Oh my GAWD...if that was ALL I had to rule out, I'd be in good shape. NO MORE PEANUT BUTTER for moi. I cannot control myself while eating it!

[elye]

NO MORE PEANUT BUTTER for moi. I cannot control myself while eating it!

...Feels like angels are copulating on our tongue?

Ahh! Gawd, me too, Bev. PB is my one serious, and I do mean serious, weakness. I completely lose control. In my many years of overindulging in peanut butter, I now know that there are only two things that do not go with it: tomatoes and mushrooms. Yup, everything else tastes amazing with PB!

[blueeyedmanda]

Bev-I too use too much peanut butter. Since getting that easy peanut butter cookie on here a few weeks back....too many cookies have been made and eaten....

I need to really get serious about my diet and excercise.....I used to fit into more clothes than I do now....the worst part is I dont really eat all that unhealthy, I usually do not eat a lot of junk food, occasionally I buy a bag of chips, but they usually go stale halfway through the bag since I eat them here and there and then forget about them, I used to eat ice cream but I guess with it being winter I haven;t been in the mood as much for it....but I just keep gaining weight, had the thyroid checked out in Sept when at the Dr and all tests were normal....not sure....I have not been feeling too attractive these days though....

[CarlaB]

OMG-my appt is on the 10th!!!!!!! In NYC. Do you fly in and out the same day? More than likely, I will take the train down on the 9th if hotels aren't BLOODY outrageously expensive. But Nikki and I can always share a room cuz I KNOW she is coming!

:D Ours is on the 10th, too! We're flying in on the 9th, get there at noon (La Guardia). We have all afternoon to play, but we do need to leave while it's still light out to get up to Hyde Park (2 hours away). The thing that usually restricts our time in NYC is PARKING! I haven't been able to find something for more than an hour. At least not near Risotteria.

Oh, we have to meet! You have to come up on the 9thl! You can stay with us, but we'll be staying in Hyde Park.

We will be there for a while on the 10th, too. Our appts. are at 9:30 and 10 AM, then we don't fly out till 7pm .... so we have to be at the airport about 4:30 to return the rental car, and all that it takes to fly .... so I guess that leaves about 1-3:30 or so open.

Okay, I need to read the rest, I had to answer this one before I could read anymore, LOL.

[Darn210]

:D Ours is on the 10th, too! We're flying in on the 9th, get there at noon (La Guardia). We have all afternoon to play, but we do need to leave while it's still light out to get up to Hyde Park (2 hours away). The thing that usually restricts our time in NYC is PARKING! I haven't been able to find something for more than an hour. At least not near Risotteria.

Oh, we have to meet! You have to come up on the 9thl! You can stay with us, but we'll be staying in Hyde Park.

We will be there for a while on the 10th, too. Our appts. are at 9:30 and 10 AM, then we don't fly out till 7pm .... so we have to be at the airport about 4:30 to return the rental car, and all that it takes to fly .... so I guess that leaves about 1-3:30 or so open.

Okay, I need to read the rest, I had to answer this one before I could read anymore, LOL.

Oh, how quickly I am forgotten . . . before long, Carla's av will be of her and Bev . . . I will just have to comfort myself with the fact that I was her first.

[Darn210]

OMG - last night I went out - alone - at midnight into the still, silent 'hood here at Stepford - not a creature was stirring - and banged my spoon onto the pots and pans.

This mental image makes me chuckle . . .

[CarlaB]

1. Not So Great Expectations

"I could have done without the blood-stained mattress and the (actual)

chunk of poop on my bedspread, but I didn't expect the Hilton." (a celiac got there first!)

Oh, we actually had something similar happen .... a hotel room had a bikini bottom in the dresser drawer and there was poop in it! We got a big discount on the room! What a pit! It was a family reunion and we didn't get to pick the hotel.

They were going to have a family reunion this past summer at a State Park in NY .... Adam told me about it and I asked if he was seriously thinking about going .... he said, "Why not?" Umm, because it's Lyme central!!! All I need is for him to get bitten! I don't even walk in the grass when I'm in NY! Yes, I'm paranoid!

OMG - last night I went out - alone - at midnight into the still, silent 'hood here at Stepford - not a creature was stirring - and banged my spoon onto the pots and pans.

:lol: :lol:

I am so going to diet this year....no more gummi bears....

I've gained 5 pounds since getting rid of my tapeworm! I may need to start watching it soon myself!

Ahh! Gawd, me too, Bev. PB is my one serious, and I do mean serious, weakness. I completely lose control. In my many years of overindulging in peanut butter, I now know that there are only two things that do not go with it: tomatoes and mushrooms. Yup, everything else tastes amazing with PB!

Once when I was pregnant I put it on bratwurst, it was GREAT! I love it on a bacon and mayo sandwich, too. I like my grilled cheese with peanut butter and mayo ... I've eaten them that way since I was a little kid.

That bacon sandwich is good with tomatoes and lettuce on it, but peanut butter and just tomatoes sounds yucky.

but I just keep gaining weight, had the thyroid checked out in Sept when at the Dr and all tests were normal....

My thyroid was at the low end of normal ... so my LLMD checked for more stuff (free T3 and free T4 and some other stuff). Everything was low normal, so he started me on Armour Thyroid. I'm feeling much better! I just got it retested ... I'll let you know how it comes out.

Basal temperatures are a good indicator of thyroid ... you might Google info on that. You can buy glandular thyroid, which is what Armour is, over the counter (but not Armour). I took Solaray Thyroid for years based on my basal temps, but stopped when I went to my Lyme doc .... within a few months, he realized I needed to be on thyroid.

[CarlaB]

Oh, how quickly I am forgotten . . . before long, Carla's av will be of her and Bev . . . I will just have to comfort myself with the fact that I was her first.

:lol:

You can meet us, too!

I notice that I never even made your avatar .... but then again, we would have the same avatar and no one would be able to tell the difference between us .... except my picture would be better than yours!

[blueeyedmanda]

Thanks for the info Carla I am going to check into it.

[DingoGirl]

I'm afraid of us too!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am TOTALLY askeert of us!!!!!!!!!!!

...Feels like angels are copulating on our tongue?

our new Sillyville phrase, methinks..............fits nicely.

II usually do not eat a lot of junk food, occasionally I buy a bag of chips, but they usually go stale halfway through the bag since I eat them here and there and then forget about them,

umm......this sentence gave me pause.......

MYGAWD, woman, are you some kind of freakish superhero? Chips can get STALE in your house? I am not even ALLOWED to buy chips or have them in the house............will awaken in the middle of the bloomin' night and devour them....... Can't even buy them. When I want chips, I eat them at my mom's house.....and she is instructed to remove them from me after a certain time......

Why am I so rrrrrrrrrrrrrrravenous since removing gluten???????????

Oh, how quickly I am forgotten . . . before long, Carla's av will be of her and Bev . . . I will just have to comfort myself with the fact that I was her first.

and I....on the west coast........will just remain forever jealous.......

This mental image makes me chuckle . . .

I have to say....'twas mighty peculiar. I walked outside (having never even considered the the fact that I'd still be awake at midnight) and thought SURELY I'd hear a smattering of firecrackers or SOMETHING indicating a reckless celebration of revelry......and..................

NOTHING.

It was foggy - and the fog throws a thick, viscous blanket of muffled stillness over everything it touches, so I was practically SMACKED with the drear quiet when I walked out front.

I waited......waited........nothing.

Pure silence.

Lights out, everywhere.

So finally........maybe at about 12:01, a full 60 seconds into the New Year, I just started banging things into the black, shrouded stillness of the Stepford night, a screeching, jarring cacophony into the sterile and controlled environs of this Ridiculous White Enclave.............

:lol: :lol:

*snoooooooort*

it was VERY entertaining.

goodnight, my lovelies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[nikki-uk]

Trip adviser!!!!

EXCELLENT!!!!!

But Nikki and I can always share a room cuz I KNOW she is coming!

*nervous laugh* ...ahem........

*sigh* BEV -----I 've told you before I'm not prepared to put up with your flatulance (GAD!! That room would be one BIG Dutch Oven )

Nicola - what is Cava? does it come from hog jowls??????????

Possibly

Tis poor man's Open Original Shared Link silly!!!!!

I have to say....'twas mighty peculiar. I walked outside (having never even considered the the fact that I'd still be awake at midnight) and thought SURELY I'd hear a smattering of firecrackers or SOMETHING indicating a reckless celebration of revelry......and..................

NOTHING.

It was foggy - and the fog throws a thick, viscous blanket of muffled stillness over everything it touches, so I was practically SMACKED with the drear quiet when I walked out front.

I waited......waited........nothing.

Pure silence.

Lights out, everywhere.

So finally........maybe at about 12:01, a full 60 seconds into the New Year, I just started banging things into the black, shrouded stillness of the Stepford night, a screeching, jarring cacophony into the sterile and controlled environs of this Ridiculous White Enclave.............

'Sterile and controlled environs of this Ridiculous White enclave'

Yeah, but YOU showed 'em!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

...Short word on PB.... ...tis ok on toast..but can't go mad about it....maybe yours is different to mine

[elye]

Morning, Amanda et al!

I've gained 5 pounds since getting rid of my tapeworm! I may need to start watching it soon myself!

Amanda....maybe we could go halves on a tapeworm. Y'know...just for a month or so, get rid of this ten that simply will not disappear...

That bacon sandwich is good with tomatoes and lettuce on it, but peanut butter and just tomatoes sounds yucky.

Yep. PB and anything...salmon, broccoli, olives...ANYTHING. (...but tomato and 'shrooms...)...

and I....on the west coast........will just remain forever jealous.......

As will I, to the north...forever jealous and alone in my av....

NOTHING.

It was foggy - and the fog throws a thick, viscous blanket of muffled stillness over everything it touches, so I was practically SMACKED with the drear quiet when I walked out front.

I waited......waited........nothing.

Pure silence.

Lights out, everywhere.

Susie, this is one horror movie-type setting. I could just hear the swelling music as you set foot outside, into this thick silence. You are so un-stepfordish...how on earth do you manage there?!

*nervous laugh* ...ahem........

*sigh* BEV -----I 've told you before I'm not prepared to put up with your flatulance (GAD!! That room would be one BIG Dutch Oven )

Nikki said dutch oven...

Bev, I was not aware of your infamous gas issues. If we ever do meet, I'm taking dibs on the room where Bev ISN'T!! Dibs! Dibs!! I SAID IT FIRST!!

...Short word on PB.... ...tis ok on toast..but can't go mad about it....maybe yours is different to mine

OH! Nikki, the PB experience here in North America is infinitely different than that one must tolerate over there. For whatever the reason, it is very difficult to find in England (I finally found one tiny jar in the back of a little shop near the Thames, and then never again in our travels), and it was HEINOUS. Dry, flavoUrless...and when we asked for some PB for our breakfast toast, we'd be looked at like we were out of our minds. Instead we were given marmite. Doesn't cut it.....

[blueeyedmanda]

Morning Emily!

Sure, going 1/2sies sounds good. Anything to eat away at my excess flab....which I understand whales have all that blubber to keep warm...how come my fat isn't keeping me warm this winter?

[nikki-uk]

Amanda....maybe we could go halves on a tapeworm. Y'know...just for a month or so, get rid of this ten that simply will not disappear...

Where can I get me one of these tapeworms???

I just don't want to see it!!!!

As will I, to the north...forever jealous and alone in my av....

Well, I am East...but wayyy East ....we shall be lonely together Emily (is that an oxymoron thingy??? )

Bev, I was not aware of your infamous gas issues. If we ever do meet, I'm taking dibs on the room where Bev ISN'T!! Dibs! Dibs!! I SAID IT FIRST!!

Damn!! Emily got first ''Dibs''

Bev's former Native American name (before Sleeps through Christmas) was actually Farts like a machine gun

I'm sure she won't mind me telling!!

OH! Nikki, the PB experience here in North America is infinitely different than that one must tolerate over there. For whatever the reason, it is very difficult to find in England (I finally found one tiny jar in the back of a little shop near the Thames, and then never again in our travels), and it was HEINOUS. Dry, flavoUrless...and when we asked for some PB for our breakfast toast, we'd be looked at like we were out of our minds. Instead we were given marmite. Doesn't cut it.....

I always suspected as much - ours IS dry - gets stuck to your teeth and quite unremarkable

Best I don't ever taste the North American PB (I'm sure it would be like Angels copulating on the tongue) unless I get a tapeworm

Anything to eat away at my excess flab....which I understand whales have all that blubber to keep warm...how come my fat isn't keeping me warm this winter?

I ask myself the same question Amanda!!

[CarlaB]

Amanda....maybe we could go halves on a tapeworm. Y'know...just for a month or so, get rid of this ten that simply will not disappear...

Check out www.tapewormdiet.net.

Do you think these people are really serious!? I felt so much better when I got rid of mine ... the color came back in my face even .... I don't look so gaunt ... I think two of the pounds were in my cheeks, the other three are in my other cheeks.

[blueeyedmanda]

Bye Sillies,

Sickness has taken its toll and I am going home for the rest of the day.

[elye]

Well, I am East...but wayyy East ....we shall be lonely together Emily (is that an oxymoron thingy??? )

Like Milton's revered "Darkness visible"...

You wax poetic, Nikki!!

I always suspected as much - ours IS dry - gets stuck to your teeth and quite unremarkable

It's odd....what is different about our respective PBs? The remarkable stuff I eat copiously here is "all natural", nothin' but peanuts, and I thought the stuff we picked up in London was same, but perhaps not. It was very disappointing. In fact, I had been told and had read often before we left to bring our own PB, as the UK attempt is pure heinosity. I would be ten pounds thinner in England, I know that for sure.

So, Nikki, are you a marmite eater? It is available here, but expensive and not very popular. I saw it everywhere over there. Quite salty...seems like spreadable yeast...

Check out www.tapewormdiet.net.

Do you think these people are really serious!? I felt so much better when I got rid of mine ... the color came back in my face even .... I don't look so gaunt ... I think two of the pounds were in my cheeks, the other three are in my other cheeks.

Actually, I am certain that tapeworms are NOT a funny thing to have, and I did hesitate to make a joke of them...(but then went ahead... ). I cannot imagine a large worm residing in my body, and knowing that it's there, and waiting for the treatment to take affect. Gahhh....very un-Silly...!

Yeah, I think upon reflection that I'd take the extra ten...

Bye Sillies,

Sickness has taken its toll and I am going home for the rest of the day.

OH! Amanda...now you're sick? Take care of yourself!