The Funny Pages - Tickle Me Elbow - The Original

[Jestgar]

Hi all, well, have some disturbing news to report.

My cat, Delilah, ripped open an abcess on her face (beyond disgusting, although no where near 7 feet of tapeworm) so I took her to the vet. He took her into the back room to clean her up, and came back in a few mnutes later to say: You might want to think about changing the name because Delilah is, <deep breath> a boy.

Yes, my poor cat is gender confused. Although this goes a long way towards explaining her his behaviour problems.

So now we're working on repairing his self esteem, acknowledging his (huevoless) manliness and changing our pronoun useage.

sigh

[~alex~]

He must have been so graceful.....but now your DH's hockey bag stinks even worse! Soylent green????????????????? :ph34r: :ph34r: The yeti could have played nekkid- he's tough enough

Yes!!! Soylent Green is people . . . errrr . . . smelly hockey bags!

Hi all, well, have some disturbing news to report.

Must have been quite a shock! An intersex cat . Even though his/her sex is male, his/her gender can still be female if that is what he/she indentifies with :lol:. You and your cat could be quite progressive.

Any thoughts on the new manly name? Samson comes to mind . . .

[psawyer]

Peter said "went west".

Doh, I first heard this from a friend from the Boston area (works in Cambridge, but lives somewhere on Cape Cod). "Went South" works too.

FWIW, the failed FRU is the AMD. That's computer techie speak for the cooling fan has failed and needs to be replaced. Without the fan, these machines overheat and shut down within five minutes!

Peter's using the cats' computer!

You can't imagine what this looks like. I'm uploading a new avatar showing me trying to read the monitor while Oliver and Thomas sit on the desk in front of it.

Hi all, well, have some disturbing news to report.

My cat, Delilah, ripped open an abcess on her face (beyond disgusting, although no where near 7 feet of tapeworm) so I took her to the vet. He took her into the back room to clean her up, and came back in a few mnutes later to say: You might want to think about changing the name because Delilah is, <deep breath> a boy.

Yes, my poor cat is gender confused. Although this goes a long way towards explaining her his behaviour problems.

So now we're working on repairing his self esteem, acknowledging his (huevoless) manliness and changing our pronoun usage.

Our youngest cat is named Riley. Jacquie believed in the "Life of Riley" for a cat whose every need was catered to by doting humans, and decided that the next cat would have that name. On April 14, 2005, I rescued a female kitten, but the die was already cast. She seems to be surviving with a boy's name.

[Darn210]

Wow...I write notes in red on margins, as well, but I've never written anything as provocative as Spruesiacal Eclectisism. I just scribble things like, "that's dumb!" or "Come ON! Are you kidding?!"

I MUST remember this when I start teaching Freshman Writing again- "Are you joking?" "Who taught you grammar?" "Why are you in college when you can't even spell?" "Who REALLY wrote this paper- YOU or a YETI?"

Ohhhh, you guys are killin' me!!!!!!!!!!!

Must have been quite a shock! An intersex cat . Even though his/her sex is male, his/her gender can still be female if that is what he/she indentifies with :lol:. You and your cat could be quite progressive.

Any thoughts on the new manly name? Samson comes to mind . . .

Ahhh . . . Samson is an excellent suggestion!!

You can't imagine what this looks like. I'm uploading a new avatar showing me trying to read the monitor while Oliver and Thomas sit on the desk in front of it.

What helpful little kitties you have, Peter. How did you teach them to read?

Splendid form tonight, sillies!!!! Impressively mirthy. Outstanding jocularity. Irrepressible frivolity. I've been using the thesaurus on dictionary.com, can you tell? . . . Hey, put away that red pen, I do NOT write like a Yeti!

[tom]

. . . Hey, put away that red pen, I do NOT write like a Yeti!

Let the Yeti <bury the> Lead?

[nikki-uk]

this Arm and Hammer baking soda

This in the UK is toothpaste .......maybe smear over carpets - dingos lick it up - their breath is much nicer - everyone's a winner !!!

what? who, ME? a... another silly forum? why NO? of course not!!!!!!!

No one will love you like we do (said very seriously - with straight face)

good gawd, keeps me on my toes using up all my silly here....got none left for anywhere else

I know what you mean!.....I can barely raise a smile in 'real' life

kinda fun, drinking on the job

I always think so..............wait........ .........what's my job?????

well, here is something that I do. In these reports, many of the prisoners are on....get this.....antidepressants. Ummmmm........yeah.........you're depressed? can't sleep? bored???? YA THINK???????????????? Yeah.....you've been involved in miscreancy and debauched behavior since you were 13, and then you killed someone, and now you're in prison for life. Depressed?

Well now - fancy that?....depressed you say???

"rule out Spruesiacal Eclectisism"

Mmmm, yes <stroking chin knowledgably>

I write these very words on 'post it' notes and slap them on suspicious looking customers in Tesco's .............. not many recognise the symptoms........we are an elite few.......perhaps a passing Gastro/Psychiatrist will notice my efforts????

West???? It went WEST is bad?

I'm quite familiar w/ it went south to indicate a reduction in overall goodness, but "it went WEST"????

Sheesh . .. <mutter mutter>. . . Only in northern N. America!!!!!!!

here are some Britisms that mean the same thing:

''It all went a bit Open Original Shared Link(cockney rhyming slang for ''wrong'')

''It went Open Original Shared Link

''It went belly up''

Tom!!!

What has happened to the yeti's arms (they have stretched!!!).......and someone seriously needs to get him to an Orthodontist....worst overbite I've ever seen!!!!!!!!!!

You might want to think about changing the name because Delilah is, <deep breath> a boy.

I always find that those furry little peanuts at the back end give boy cats away

Erm.......I hope Peter actually asked the cats before he so rudely used their computer !!!!! (Manners please!!!!)

...And finally....'' GoUrmandising the nuggets'' (Brit spelling folks )

[blueeyedmanda]

Morning Sillies!!!! Welcome to Friday!!!!

Been waiting for Friday all week!

[elye]

Morning, Amanda, and eventually you all!

He must have been so graceful.....

Man, that creature was like a symphony on ice...I could not believe the grace. Like nothing we've EVER seen, in our parade, at Amanda's wedding, in the hottub, or as Santa. Made it look so effortless. It seemed like the Forrest Gump syndrome--I simply jelled into his caged-up, visored face as he was being shoved out onto the ice, "Okay, yeti!! You gotta stop, I mean annihilate, every single little black thing that's fired at you!! DO IT FOR THE TEAM, MY BOY!" ...and he did. Ask him to do something, he will just do it.

It may have helped that I mentioned a trip back to Jess's lab if any pucks were let in...

FWIW, the failed FRU is the AMD. That's computer techie speak for the cooling fan has failed and needs to be replaced. Without the fan, these machines overheat and shut down within five minutes!

Ewwwwwwwwww......Peter, STOP this talk!!

On April 14, 2005, I rescued a female kitten, but the die was already cast. She seems to be surviving with a boy's name.

My daughter has two girlfriends named Riley. Such times we now live in...

Let the Yeti <bury the> Lead?

Bah...don't allow the yeti to write.

Just Let the Yeti Read....

No one will love you like we do (said very seriously - with straight face)

Not possible with you, Nikki....just cannot see this....

here are some Britisms that mean the same thing:

''It all went a bit Open Original Shared Link(cockney rhyming slang for ''wrong'')

This sounds Cantonese, not in the least British...

But we all somehow know that the Pete in question was an original reference to Psaywer...

The man is everywhere....

Tom!!!

.....and someone seriously needs to get him to an Orthodontist....worst overbite I've ever seen!!!!!!!!!!

Heaven forbid!! Those massive, crooked fangs were absolutely pivotal in his sensational save record. He caught more pucks than I catch breaks.

Don't mess with success!!

[blueeyedmanda]

I am surprised by the grace of the Yeti...he is quite top-heavy, I am surprised that he was able to skate so well.

[CarlaB]

You can't imagine what this looks like. I'm uploading a new avatar showing me trying to read the monitor while Oliver and Thomas sit on the desk in front of it.

:lol: And you dare to think they are your cats! Umm, it's clear, you are their human!

I always find that those furry little peanuts at the back end give boy cats away

But Jestgar's kitty doesn't have cacahuetes.

[Jestgar]

But Jestgar's kitty doesn't have cacahuetes.

Doesn't have what??

My cats came as a matched set: Samson and Delilah (I didn't name them). So, assuming Samson is still a boy, I now have Samson and Lyle. I feel like a commercial for some bizarre gay pet marriage group.

[tom]

<indignation!> we are NOT "bizarre"!!!

[CarlaB]

Doesn't have what??

Peanuts ... or balls ... in Spanish.

[elye]

But Jestgar's kitty doesn't have cacahuetes.

...Or pelotes en Francais....

[elye]

I am surprised by the grace of the Yeti...he is quite top-heavy, I am surprised that he was able to skate so well.

It wasn't so much his skating that was phenomenal...he managed to get around, but thank gawd he was in nets so there wasn't so much need for skating. It was his reaction time--like lightning, and his quick-twitch reflexes left us all agape. His top-heaviness was so fortuitous because his chest covered a lot of the open net. I'm hearing that one of the assistant coaches, in complete astonishment, whipped out a camcorder. So, stay tuned...could be a youtube reference coming up...

[nikki-uk]

But Jestgar's kitty doesn't have cacahuetes.

Oh!! Missed that!!!!

Peanutless ......Mmmmm......had a dog once that only had one ball .....GAD!!!! ...didn't dampen his ardour

[jerseyangel]

I feel like a commercial for some bizarre gay pet marriage group.

[DingoGirl]

oh my gaaaaaaaawd sillies!!!!!!!!!!!!! Lots of mirth and merriment and......I have been chortling over here.......no time to write.

Um - - Nicola's whole post :lol: gastro/psychiatrist Brad's (the prison psych) wife Karen coined the term.....SPRUEziacal eclecticism - we decided all prisoners are gluten-intolerant or celiac.......hence the clever phrase that cracks us up every time........

Jess's cajones-less "boy" cat? oh dear Poor, gender-addled feline

Peter's cats - - - oh my gaaaaawd that is the cutest thing ever - - no WONDER he can hardly find time to respond here - - see, he's not really WORKING at the store all the time, as he claims...he had to LIE to us due to embarrassment - - it's those cats, hogging the computer, probably constantly playing that game where you bowl and strike the kitties?????? was that it, Julie? Or.....they're watching that dog-massaging kitty.....or just watching youtube videos of birds and mice every day......

Quite delighted to hear of Yeti's hockey finesse - I await the you-tube programME.....

What else? got a bloomin' headache <was it the screwdriverS?>

oh wait......also the arrival of menses today.........BLAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! miserable cramps.....

GI-GAN-TIC storm arriving today......people are sandbagging - holy flood zone, Batman! With winds of up to 60 MPH - - going to make my outings now and then stay safely in!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

should I turn off my computer? many outages predicted.............

[tom]

Just 9 or 10 posts to New Royalty!!

<sniff> it goes by SO quickly!

[Darn210]

Susie, from your avs I would never guess that Stinker is your old girl. She always has her ears up, alert, looks ready to go. Annie looks annoyed and "please quit bothering me"

I feel like a commercial for some bizarre gay pet marriage group.

Not that there's anything wrong with that.

[CarlaB]

...Or pelotes en Francais....

Okay, cacahuetes is peanuts, but also refers to nuts ... pelotas is balls but not used for that kind of ball ...

should I turn off my computer? many outages predicted.............

I unplug mine .... but since it's a laptop, I can still play. Only a problem if you're getting lightening, which we get a lot of .... of which we get a lot?

[blueeyedmanda]

OMg Susie, take care of yourself. I was watching the new last night and saw that storm heading your way....Want to fly to a much sweeter place? We have heaps of chocolate here

[blueeyedmanda]

I unplug my lap top too. Supposedly if the computer is on a surge protector it is ok....but computers are so expensive I don't take the chance. I had one get fried once....not fun!

[elye]

Peanutless ......Mmmmm......had a dog once that only had one ball .....GAD!!!! ...didn't dampen his ardour

Wonder if/how this can affect personality. Adolf Hitler had three...

...SPRUEziacal eclecticism - we decided all prisoners are gluten-intolerant or celiac......

Yes! I'll bet they ALL are sprueziacal. Probably all the gluten intolerant of this world are simply one or two acts from imprisonment...or madness...

Just look around us....

oh wait......also the arrival of menses today.........

This caused me to chortle and snort suddenly...such a great word, and wasted on such a plebian experience. The Arrival of Menses Today...sounds like a royal entourage alighting, or a new historical epoch...

should I turn off my computer? many outages predicted.............

Susie! This is a vortex. You speak like you'll be able to stay in your house with a working computer, and just have it turned off. No drive-bys into Sillyville.

Not possible!!

[blueeyedmanda]

Vortex indeed....Susie is hoping she could keep in contact with us whilest the storm bears down upon her....we are her security blanket....be lost without us