The Funny Pages - Tickle Me Elbow - The Original

[Jestgar]

I need to brain-share...anyone got a sub-compact model available for the remainder of the week?

You're welcome to mine, but I'm afraid it resembles burnt oatmeal at the moment...

[blueeyedmanda]

I wish I could share my brain too...but I can't find mine either.

[elye]

Needing mice cullin'

Then good thing you have cats!!

Look, I have no idea either why I'd read that homonymically.

It's a gift . . . .. . .. .and a curse.

You've got one weird brain, Tom. Don't wanna be sharing yours, if it suddenly short-circuits in such homonymic ways...do you have an extended warranty?

I particularly hate when a perfectly taut Y suddenly slackens .. ... sometimes.

I hear ya. Loose Ys (when they qualify)....bane of my existence...

That video is HIM!!!??????????

The scuttlebutt at PetsDoSports.com is that it's just Dominik Hasek on Halloween, but most of the nay-sayers are the same ones who submit video of their furry little quadriped bumping into a ball and claiming it's 'soccer'. Pffft!

Ah! Our yeti moves a lot faster than Dominik....

I actually think that Giguere would be wise to keep looking over his shoulder...

You can stick him on the train if you want and I'll pick him up at the VIA station if you think he can handle the transfer at Union. We certainly don't want him to be wandering aimlessly around Toronto. Although he may fit right in on Yonge Street!

Yes...he won't even be noticed at Union.

[DingoGirl]

I am truly ready to let her go. She's just such a fighter.........strong, strong girl.....pleasantly enjoying herself in her increasingly deaf/blind/dementia-d state.........

poor baby she sounds like me ON A BAD DAY..............

GAhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!! and she SAYS she's not SILLY enough for this thread!!!!!!!! You goofball, listen, if this helps, we actually make people - and ourselves - FUNNIER here - - I suspect it's the magical sprinklings of the sacred Yeti scat imbued within our thread. ha ha ha!!!!!! You HAVE to play with us, it's mad, and it makes us all HAPPY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(using lots of punctuation is quite mad also and somehow lifts one's spirits enormously, I have found)

I know!! And I'm sure it wasn't me this time...However, the psychological damage has been done, and I will now forever feel that it's all due to something I've jabbered on about when someone's missing. Maybe the Loose Vowel Condition (LVC) is internationally recognised as a chronic disability, and some Sillies who are afflicted found my jesting discriminatory and tasteless...

*snigger*

I would offer up my brain, but, rather a roller coaster in the last two days has left me with.....less than half, I"m sure. You'll want more.

oh dear gawwwwwwd EMILY!!!!!!! do you MEAN to tell me that YOU are the one that did the squeezing of the dreaded ANAL GLANDS???????????????? OMG.......the....the.......horror......the......inhumanity.......didn't you know that THAT is one of the other things they make you do in hell? Um, yeah, pretty sure I COULD do it.....but I would vomit the instant I stuck my fingers up the butt................ (add green-faced emoticon here)

Look, I have no idea either why I'd read that homonymically.

It's a gift . . . .. . .. .and a curse.

Mad!!!!!!!!!

I particularly hate when a perfectly taut Y suddenly slackens .. ... sometimes.

Madder!!!!!!!!!!!

Visalia? does Visalia have a hockey team? Um, Tom, try and remember there are TWO ways of pronouncing that word. Most people say..... vye-SALE-ya. But, Stinker's nanny Lauren hales from that town (an hour from Fresno), and we like to be kinda oakie and say it like the old-timers......except that I don't have a SCHWA symbol so bear with me...... "vih-SELL-ya"

(schwa on first syllable)

I'll send him on his way Friday evening and make sure that he is well rested for those scouts. You can stick him on the train if you want and I'll pick him up at the VIA station if you think he can handle the transfer at Union. We certainly don't want him to be wandering aimlessly around Toronto. Although he may fit right in on Yonge Street!

what I love is that we talk about it as if it's actually happening, and newcomers probably think we really are making arrangements to transport someone....... bah ha ha ha!!!!!!!!!!!

It's probably the food . . . she's never been fed so well. I know she had chicken the other day. She's hangin' around for the grub!

Yes, I bought her some frozen chicken breasts on sale.....she's lost 20 pounds in about 4 to 6 months. But.....mommy is going to KEEP her credit card balance quite low...Stinker's only getting chicken THIGHS from now on.....

I have been rather absent....apologies...stupid life gettin' in the way of what really matters

I hate that

Nicola - mygawd, what adventures.....scrambling 'round LONDON - heinous but FUN!!!!!!!!!!!! (for an American) I want to come!!!!!!!!!!!!! but quite evil that your grocery no longer carries the items your cOelics require........harrumph......and kitty will, in the toilet!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And the wild tiger pounce on the head....I'm a bit concerned for my sleeping patterns when we have a new kitty here......

And so happy you got your evil crown repaired.......but, that wasn't the NEW one was it?

You're welcome to mine, but I'm afraid it resembles burnt oatmeal at the moment...

OMG, what, more lab experiments gone awry? electrocutions? Self-immolation?

[elye]

(using lots of punctuation is quite mad also and somehow lifts one's spirits enormously, I have found)

...Really?...I've always been a less-is-more kinda gal with my punctuation, but now that you tell me that it alters mood, I must try this.

Okay, here I go!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

...Nothing yet...I mean, nothing, yet????????????!!!!!!!!!

Um, yeah, pretty sure I COULD do it.....but I would vomit the instant I stuck my fingers up the butt................ (add green-faced emoticon here)

Ah, c'mon..ya put gloves on, hold breath....and it's the thumbs, placed on either side...bah! You need a flowchart...

.....except that I don't have a SCHWA symbol so bear with me...... "vih-SELL-ya"

(schwa on first syllable)

I was wondering when my favorite pronunciation principle would be brought up in Sillyville...and here it is! The sound that ain't a sound, the lovely SCHWA...

what I love is that we talk about it as if it's actually happening, and newcomers probably think we really are making arrangements to transport someone....... bah ha ha ha!!!!!!!!!!!

I know...T'is a scream.....

[blueeyedmanda]

Last time I checked, Emily borrowed my half of our brain today

[DingoGirl]

Okay, here I go!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

...Nothing yet...I mean, nothing, yet????????????!!!!!!!!!

Evidence indicates that it may take a few tries. KEEP AT IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OMG the SCHWA!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE the schwa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 'tis my favorite also. and..I also really like saying aspirated fricative and......glottal.....

TAKE THAT YOU MATH GEEKS!!!!!!!!!!!!

But I will NOT have anything to do with your stinky butt-gland flow chart......ugh......blech

*snigger*

[Erica94]

hiiiiiiiiiii susie!!!!!!!!!!!!!! u still here? or am i all alone now?

oooh yeti!! what exactly is a yeti?? is he friendly? if so, tell him to cum my way!!!!

[tom]

......except that I don't have a SCHWA symbol so bear with me...... "vih-SELL-ya"

(schwa on first syllable)

Yer windin' me up . . .. .

I was wondering when my favorite pronunciation principle would be brought up in Sillyville...and here it is! The sound that ain't a sound, the lovely SCHWA...

Uh-oh it IS real!!!

"The sound that ain't a sound"??????????????

But ... .but. ... . I was about to ask what it souuuuuuuuunds like!

Are we sure "SCHWA" isn't part of what Wayne & Garth say when Madonna shows up in lingerie, impressing them w/ her snappy patter, including but not limited to, "shYAH - and monkeys will fly out of my BUTT!" ?

[elye]

Last time I checked, Emily borrowed my half of our brain today

You're right, Amanda, and today I got a lot of challenging mental things done. Can I keep it over tomorrow? I have to teach, but I'll have it back to you first thing Friday (and NOT on empty, I promise!)

Evidence indicates that it may take a few tries. KEEP AT IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Okay.........???!!.....;...!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:

But I will NOT have anything to do with your stinky butt-gland flow chart......ugh......blech

All I can say is: T'is a very fortunate thing that we humans have been spared the adventure of possessing anal glands. I cannot imagine my husband scooting along our living-room carpet. And don't get me started with the thought of squeezing ANY family member's behind. The dog is enough, thank you. God, I have enough glandular troubles of my own (thyroid, pancreas), thank you very much...

hiiiiiiiiiii susie!!!!!!!!!!!!!! u still here? or am i all alone now?

oooh yeti!! what exactly is a yeti?? is he friendly? if so, tell him to cum my way!!!!

Oh, Erica. Have you got some reading to do. Get comfortable, get a large glass of wine, and start back at around page 200 or so...it will all unfold before your very eyes...

[DingoGirl]

All I can say is: T'is a very fortunate thing that we humans have been spared the adventure of possessing anal glands. I cannot imagine my husband scooting along our living-room carpet. And don't get me started with the thought of squeezing ANY family member's behind. The dog is enough, thank you. God, I have enough glandular troubles of my own (thyroid, pancreas), thank you very much...

wait.......WHAT? we DON"T have butt glands????? You mean.....well then......WHY were those men I dated always scooting around on my carpet????????????????

BAH ha ha haha ha ha haaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

:lol: :lol: :lol:

*snoooooooort*

OMG Emily - the mental image of your husband - GUFFAW!!!!!!!!!!!!! :lol: :lol:

and WHERE is that Janet? is she STILL talking on the phone? mygawd, quit wastin' yer time and get over here!!!!!!!!!!

Tom - windin' me up

[~alex~]

All I can say is: T'is a very fortunate thing that we humans have been spared the adventure of possessing anal glands. I cannot imagine my husband scooting along our living-room carpet. And don't get me started with the thought of squeezing ANY family member's behind. The dog is enough, thank you. God, I have enough glandular troubles of my own (thyroid, pancreas), thank you very much...

:lol: I came dangerously close to spitting rice all over my laptop when I read this!!!! So much funniness!!!!

I was about 9 when I first saw my Mom taking care of our dog's anal glands. I was quite traumatized at the time and rather confused as to what my mom was doing to our dog!!! Unfortunately my mom took that opportunity to show me how to do take care of his anal glands so I could do it myself the next time. Not a fun thing to do!

Emily, I keep forgetting to tell you that our dog was also named Augustus but we called him August or Auggie Doggie.

[nikki-uk]

OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dogs anal glands?!?!?!

...dear GOD...ONCE smelt......NEVER forgotten

Susie's butt scooting (ex) boyfriends!!! ....all yer had to do was get yer thumbs in (green guy)

You ARE winding me up!!!...and you NEED to pack it in

[DingoGirl]

Susie's butt scooting (ex) boyfriends!!! ....all yer had to do was get yer thumbs in (green guy)

You ARE winding me up!!!...and you NEED to pack it in

oh my gaaaaaaaawd.......Alex...I am not eating rice but if I WERE - - I'd spit it out......

:lol:

too................much....................FUNNINESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (much-needed at this house)

:lol:

Okay now friends, new topic, no segue. (I like saying SEG-WAY!!!!!!!!!)

So, what if I did NOT pay off my credit card, and got a boob job instead????????????

:lol:

All responses welcome.

[Green12]

So, what if I did NOT pay off my credit card, and got a boob job instead????????????

:lol:

All responses welcome.

Hmmmm...well my goody-two-shoes self would say DON'T DO IT and pay off your credit card, but what do I know

Gosh Sarah must really be sick, she hasn't been around since she got glutened. Or did she get lost in the garden?

Maybe the Yeti was out and about frolicking in her back woods and Sarah-napped her.

[jerseyangel]

So, what if I did NOT pay off my credit card, and got a boob job instead????????????

Well, it IS found money, and you only live once.....

[jerseyangel]

Lest I look like an irresponsible boob myself, I'd pay off the credit card.....but I'd really want the boob job (or in my case, the tummy tuck)

[DingoGirl]

Maybe the Yeti was out and about frolicking in her back woods and Sarah-napped her.

You silly, Yeti is in Canada still, I think????????

OMG - yes - goody-two-shoes -- me too - -but I WANT BOOBS!!!!!!!!!!!!

Well, it IS found money, and you only live once.....

Patti I KNOW!!!!!!!!

Lest I look like an irresponsible boob myself, I'd pay off the credit card.....but I'd really want the boob job (or in my case, the tummy tuck)

BAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I want me some boobs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

But....I really was joking....I HAVE to do the sensible thing......maybe there'll be another windfall someday......or a REAL job again......and then I'll get the new car and the boobs.

[elye]

wait.......WHAT? we DON"T have butt glands????? You mean.....well then......WHY were those men I dated always scooting around on my carpet????????????????

Well...human males have other glandular concerns back there....perhaps they all needed their prostate glands squeezed....(hey, what man doesn't? At least, that's what they ALL say..)

and WHERE is that Janet? is she STILL talking on the phone? mygawd, quit wastin' yer time and get over here!!!!!!!!!!

Gad, that's what....Six hours? Get off that phone, Janet! Report for duty!

I was about 9 when I first saw my Mom taking care of our dog's anal glands. I was quite traumatized at the time and rather confused as to what my mom was doing to our dog!!! Unfortunately my mom took that opportunity to show me how to do take care of his anal glands so I could do it myself the next time. Not a fun thing to do!

See? There are other civilians who know how to to do this basic veteranairy move. Maybe it's just an Ontario thing....

So, what if I did NOT pay off my credit card, and got a boob job instead????????????

All responses welcome.

New boobs? Hmmmm....I'd pay off the cards. I might consider abdominal fat-removal, however.....

[Green12]

You silly, Yeti is in Canada still, I think????????

Oh my bad.

I thought the Yeti was an everywhere/all the time phenomenon.

He could be in Canada AND North Carolina?

I would like to say... throw caution to the wind, get the boobs, life is short, you only live once, blah, blah, blah

But my financially anal self will not permit me

[Green12]

New boobs? Hmmmm....I'd pay off the cards. I might consider abdominal fat-removal, however.....

Who would of thought we would be living in an age where we can buy boobs and get the fat sucked out of us?

[Jestgar]

Cash the check, hold onto the money, run up your credit cards on things like vet bills, declare bankruptcy -everything magically erased- then get the boob job with the cash.

Or, even better, charge the boob job, then bankruptcy, then mad spending spree with cash.

[elye]

But my financially anal self will not permit me

Julie!! You have an anal self? No anal gland, however...

Does an anal self have to be squeezed? Does it cause you to scoot along the livingroom carpet?

[tom]

So, what if I did NOT pay off my credit card, and got a boob job instead????????????

:lol:

All responses welcome.

:lol:

SOOOOOoooooooo . .. . ...we're talkin' up to what? :lol:

Emily seems to have interviewed -some might say probed - many many men w/ questions on the prostate.

[jerseyangel]

Julie!! You have an anal self? No anal gland, however...

Does an anal self have to be squeezed? Does it cause you to scoot along the livingroom carpet?

Oh my Gawd!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm trying to picture.....