The Funny Pages - Tickle Me Elbow - The Original

[blueeyedmanda]

Hell, what on earth for?! We have all the answers here, and we're hilarious!

OMG....

Just had a good look. I am clearly seeing the face of Michael Jackson. This is sick....Michael Jackson on me arse!! What can it mean?....

ok...I am really in the gutter here....don't bend over?

[dlp252]

Just had a good look. I am clearly seeing the face of Michael Jackson. This is sick....Michael Jackson on me arse!! What can it mean?....

Hey post it...Michael might see something on your arse that looks better than his face and do more plastic surgery!

[jerseyangel]

OMG....

Just had a good look. I am clearly seeing the face of Michael Jackson. This is sick....Michael Jackson on me arse!! What can it mean?....

It can't be good....so, are you sure it's Michael? Could be an over the hill white woman

ok...I am really in the gutter here....don't bend over?

Gawd

[jerseyangel]

Hey post it...Michael might see something on your arse that looks better than his face and do more plastic surgery!

Hey yeah--wait a minute....do you see his nose? Is it there, or did it not make it to your arse?

[Darn210]

It can't be good....so, are you sure it's Michael? Could be an over the hill white woman

[DingoGirl]

Took the kids in Jack's class out skating yesterday. Was showing off, showing them how to do a really masculine hockey stop (going like hell, then suddenly turning blades and leaning hard, causing a great spray of ice...quite spectacular if done properly, and by a diminutive woman). Well, OF COURSE when it matters I slip and fall on me arse. The bruise is what is now spectacular.....

:lol: this is funny!!!!!!!!!!!!

No, this time I don't think it is you, Emily. Sarah is well aware of your shenanigans . . . I think she might be seeing another forum behind our backs.

what? do you have PROOF of this? why how DARE she............

SARAH!!!!!!!!!!!! come back to us!!!!!!!!!!! You will NOT find better than us, and you KNOW that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hell, what on earth for?! We have all the answers here, and we're hilarious!

Exactly!

Well, I see you all ignored my self-pitying rant of last night. Probably best that way. I always get over it. Such a whiny baby. (feigning cheerfulness today but certainly in no way as cranky as last night)

Emily - you have MJ on your arse? I don't know what this means.....will ponder....

<just had a zipper fart - which brings my three-day total to about - not kidding - six? seven?>

[dlp252]

<just had a zipper fart - which brings my three-day total to about - not kidding - six? seven?>

Still can't count 'em....still off-gassing apparently.

[Mtndog]

<not all squealing is joyous>

:lol:

Gad....I do remember silver shining up from the toilet bowl at me....

Susie! You must hide a handful of morning glory seeds in your food this evening. You likely will not squeal....you'll just giggle....and giggle.....

Excellent idea! I remember stepping on chocolate Easter eggs in my shoes in December (oh and a bat in my riding boots, but that is another story).

Emily is right!!!! You MUST go out with her and add some morning glory seeds and a half of a june bug to her entree . . . very juvenile entertaining . . . then tell us what happened.

Agreed! You must find out if she is normal or a StepBOT!!!!!

Well.....this pic of my dad as an unrecognizable mess of a eunuch is kinda starting to freak me out. Funny while it lasted, but.....(((shudder)))).....

Emily said EUNUCH :lol:

My hopes of skiing this weekend are looking dim. Even if there is snow, its all man made and with the warm temps and then cold temps it will be all ice and no powder....no fun!

No you MUST ski (do it for the Lymie- I'll pray for powder!!!!!!!)

OMG....

Just had a good look. I am clearly seeing the face of Michael Jackson. This is sick....Michael Jackson on me arse!! What can it mean?....

Oh no....are we SURE this is not an alien abduction targeted at the SILLIES

ok...I am really in the gutter here....don't bend over?

Best not to EVER bend over in some places!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hey yeah--wait a minute....do you see his nose? Is it there, or did it not make it to your arse?

:lol:

[Darn210]

SARAH!!!!!!!!!!!! come back to us!!!!!!!!!!! You will NOT find better than us, and you KNOW that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I wonder if she can get fired (dethroned) for this. Not showing up for the job. Has she called in sick? Anyone? Wait till human resources get ahold of her! She's going to get a note in her personnel file.

[Jestgar]

Well.....this pic of my dad as an unrecognizable mess of a eunuch is kinda starting to freak me out. Funny while it lasted, but.....(((shudder)))).....

However, pictures of your dad crawling out of a toilet seem perfectly normal...

[jerseyangel]

However, pictures of your dad crawling out of a toilet seem perfectly normal...

I just squirted Cane Cola through my nose

[elye]

Hey post it...Michael might see something on your arse that looks better than his face and do more plastic surgery!

Y'know, we may be onto something...this man(?) is so bizarre that he may be deeply affected if I could somehow get a pic of my bruise to him. He may think that I am the Chosen One (by whom, dunno) who has been miraculously marked with his likeness. He may believe that he needs to make contact with me, open up a spiritual dialogue...I could convince him that I'm feeling overcome, that I have messages for him....and he can purchase them for five million dollars (and I want a trip to Dubai).

It can't be good....so, are you sure it's Michael? Could be an over the hill white woman

It has changed in coloUr somewhat. The blue is darkening, and yellow is appearing. Looks like a somewhat fatter MJ's face (as the bruise spreads), and the snub of a nose is elongating slightly and turning a nice mauve hue. You know what? This thing is beginning to appear a little like Barack Obama, now.

NOW there are some interesting courses of action.........

Well, I see you all ignored my self-pitying rant of last night. Probably best that way. I always get over it. Such a whiny baby. (feigning cheerfulness today but certainly in no way as cranky as last night)

I wasn't ignoring you AT ALL, Susie! I just kept thinking as I was reading, "SO maddening! My bro lives just too far away...."

<just had a zipper fart - which brings my three-day total to about - not kidding - six? seven?>

Gawd....hope there are no newbies checking us out on this page. "MJ on her arse and a chick reporting on her farts? Man, am I outta here!"

I wonder if she can get fired (dethroned) for this. Not showing up for the job. Has she called in sick? Anyone? Wait till human resources get ahold of her! She's going to get a note in her personnel file.

Yes! Monarchy must have a limited number of mental health days and sick time...Human Resources should be reviewing this....are they unionized? Can she put in a grievance?

However, pictures of your dad crawling out of a toilet seem perfectly normal...

[DingoGirl]

Still can't count 'em....still off-gassing apparently.

These.......off gasses.......now let's clarify. Are these not so much PRIMARY types of farts as more......ancillary? Just the wee extra ones that leak out, but can't really be counted?

However, pictures of your dad crawling out of a toilet seem perfectly normal...

GAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :lol: always love Jess's acerbicly superb one-sentence comments - - the wry scientist that she is.

I just squirted Cane Cola through my nose

I had no beverage - or would have done same

(about to pour a tall glass of absinthe, though. TOM!!!!!!!!!! My friend says they pour it by the glass somewhere in Santana Row. where, I ask you, WHERE????????? Because you MUST stop in BEFORE you do your banking for a wee tipple of the phaerie!!!!!!!!!!!)

OMG - Emily and this Jackson/Obama stigmata - - and YES, you MUST contact MJ and tell him of your plan......demand the money......but obviously if the nose is GROWING rather than dissolving away into a tiny nubbin then.....it MUST be Barack. I know he's busy now but....still, a call to his people is really in order, I think........we'll worry about trips to Dubai later......

OMG - yes - newbies approach, cautiously.......hoping for humoUr along with some answers to their cOeliac confusion......and then read of Phart Charts and bruise/stigmatas on someone's arse........

JANET! You are right.......Sarah really has taken too many sick days, I think..... (mygawd, what about our Founder, Sir Richard? are they in cahoots over something? )

OMG - am supposed to be working and organizing today in preparation for cleaning the carpet................the most EGREGIOUS job of all

[jerseyangel]

It has changed in coloUr somewhat. The blue is darkening, and yellow is appearing. Looks like a somewhat fatter MJ's face (as the bruise spreads), and the snub of a nose is elongating slightly and turning a nice mauve hue.

Or just MJ back in the "Thriller" days....maybe it's a backward montage of the many faces of MJ....

[DingoGirl]

Or just MJ back in the "Thriller" days....maybe it's a backward montage of the many faces of MJ....

OMG - I think you may be onto something here...........

:lol:

what can it mean????????????????

[jerseyangel]

Well, I see you all ignored my self-pitying rant of last night.

Not at all, dear one

Just wasn't sure if you wanted to discuss, or just get it out. Don't sell yourself short--it will be the lucky guy indeed that sees you for the sharp, witty, good hearted person that you are

No way are you destined to be alone!

and you said "zipper fart"

[jerseyangel]

OMG - I think you may be onto something here...........

:lol:

what can it mean????????????????

Well, I, for one, want to be there when the bruise turns a deep caramel brown and Emily hears "The Love You Save" coming from her drawers

[elye]

Don't sell yourself short--it will be the lucky guy indeed that sees you for the sharp, witty, good hearted person that you are

No way are you destined to be alone!

Hear, hear!!!

[elye]

Well, I, for one, want to be there when the bruise turns a deep caramel brown and Emily hears "The Love You Save" coming from her drawers

Patti!!!

[blueeyedmanda]

My we really are sillies today

[jerseyangel]

My we really are sillies today

Have you been outside today? I just went out to put a bottle in the recycle bin and it was warmer out there than in the house! I just opened a few windows

[dlp252]

These.......off gasses.......now let's clarify. Are these not so much PRIMARY types of farts as more......ancillary? Just the wee extra ones that leak out, but can't really be counted?

Nope, pretty purposeful....soooooo I guess that makes them PRIMARY, very, very noxiously primary!

[DingoGirl]

Just wasn't sure if you wanted to discuss, or just get it out. Don't sell yourself short--it will be the lucky guy indeed that sees you for the sharp, witty, good hearted person that you are

No way are you destined to be alone!

thanks, sweet ones........but may I please remind you that I live in a town - not kidding - that elected for its mayor no other than Alan Autry, who did play the Sheriff, Bubba, on In the Heat of the Night..... And his real name is Carlos Brown, friend of mine grew up with him in Dinuba, of all places (one of the scads - hundreds - thousands? - of tiny, dull, vast and endless farming communities in the Central Valley).

Open Original Shared Link

I remember during the election - a Fresnan was interviewed and said, "it'll be nice to have someone with a LAW ENFORCEMENT background running the government."

Yup, that's right. Bubba was ONLY a sheriff on TV.......and a not-too-famous actor and former football player in real life.

I worked out at Gold's w/ Bubba for years.....nice man......not terribly bright....we became quite friendly when I asked him where the show filmed (I don't think I've ever seen an entire episode) and he said - to my great shock - Social Circle, Georgia. This is the hometown of generations of my peeps!!!!!!!!!! Bubba had, at that time, property there.

Anywho folks, that is where I live.....and that is the mentality of this town.

Well, I, for one, want to be there when the bruise turns a deep caramel brown and Emily hears "The Love You Save" coming from her drawers

oh good gawd

Nope, pretty purposeful....soooooo I guess that makes them PRIMARY, very, very noxiously primary!

:lol:

all right then......they're noxious, primary, quite possibly zipper-shaped........the off-gasses have no shape.....just float out as a vapoUr.

we are mad

Where is Nikki today?

[jerseyangel]

I remember during the election - a Fresnan was interviewed and said, "it'll be nice to have someone with a LAW ENFORCEMENT background running the government."

Yup, that's right. Bubba was ONLY a sheriff on TV.......

OMG--reminds me of the commercial several years ago with an actor from All My Children. He said--"I'm not a doctor, but I play one on TV"--then proceeds to sell some OTC medication.

Of course, this Bubba-gate is worse, considering he was actually elected Mayor

Yep--looks like you have your work cut out for ya there

[tom]

(about to pour a tall glass of absinthe, though. TOM!!!!!!!!!! My friend says they pour it by the glass somewhere in Santana Row. where, I ask you, WHERE????????? Because you MUST stop in BEFORE you do your banking for a wee tipple of the phaerie!!!!!!!!!!!)

"tipple of the phaerie"

<a challenge to all - say THAT w/ a straight face>

I can just see your friend now, jonesin' for a tipple, wandering up & down Santana Row, accosting strangers by their lapels, inquiring w/ an interrogatory scowl, WHERE are the phaeries?!!

Eventually, an accostee will stammer Y-y-ya-yankee P-p-p-pee-pier.

$18 a glass!! I mentioned the whole deal to John (yes Amanda, your hubby & I talk all the time!! ) & he wants to get a $75 bottle!!

Well, I, for one, want to be there when the bruise turns a deep caramel brown and Emily hears "The Love You Save" coming from her drawers

ROFL :lol: