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The Funny Pages - Tickle Me Elbow - The Original


TriticusToxicum

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DingoGirl Enthusiast

oh my gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaawd :angry:

I had all my quotes stacked up, and was planning on a two-parter......did a copy/paste thing - - highlighted all the quotes n' stuff.........THOUGHT I hit "copy" before I deleted all of it - - BUT NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

:blink:

and I am just SOOOOOOOo tired presently that I canNOT reconstruct it all!!!!!!!!!!!

bah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :huh:

OMG - I can't remember it all. I am MORE dingobrained than ever. Ask Kissey. OMG - I have some more funnies to tell you about my scatter-brained-ness.

um............let's see........

Tom - hope you're better and yes, it WOULD be great to quit smoking. Just so hard, I know. OMG - I actually smoke MORE now. :ph34r: Kissey and I - the clove cigarettes. I used to smoke about - not kidding - one pack A YEAR - they were kept in teh freezer. Now - it's one pack every two months or so, OR MORE. I told David - we are NOT smokers!!!!!!!!!! NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 'tis evil. :ph34r:

Em - glad your dad's doing better.........he is sooooooo fabulous! He and Janie have to go to our Silly REunion at that gluten-free chateau. They can cook for us. :lol:

Carla - as Tom said - the effexor is for depression. Every time I try to go off, I fall into a pit - big or small. :( Makes me sad.

Um.....happy belated Easter, everyone. :) Sounds like most of you had some good family time.

Blast it all, I can't think of what else I was fixin' to say.

:blink:

more later...........


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tom Contributor
Glad it didn't go too badly. Here's hopping that he has a record breaking summer growth spurt!

Lil Easter hangover typo!! :P

I like your new picture! Did Annie take it? :P

Yes! Another dandy shot! Now I'm wondering if it's in some well-known-to-everyone-but-me spot in Big Sur. Hmmmmmmm :huh:

Oh! Oh! Quitting smoking.....What kind of timing is this.... . .. ..

. .. . she was eliminating all kinds of things from her diet (gluten included), had severe chemical sensitivities diagnosed, continued being chronically depressed, suicidal even. She managed to continue smoking through all of this, and one day two years ago she just thought, "I must stop this". And she did.

Well, little by little, the tenacious blackness finished lifting. She now has NO BAD DAYS. She is normal and functioning, all of the time. (She was in tears telling me this,like she still cannot believe it). She and her GP both believe that the crap in the cigarettes were affecting her as badly, or worse, than all of the other enviornmental/chemical things that made her so ill.

The whole time I sat and listened to her, I thought of you, Ptaum. I had to pass it along....... :):)

Oh my! :o

Thank you Em, for writing this. :wub:

I *am* believing it more & more and I also believe quitting needs to be my next step towards better health. (Besides the little Humaworm thing)

The #1 factor in quitting success is simply desire. I will copy this over to something & read it several more times, I am certain.

I should see what my Santa Cruz acupuncturist can do to help, but I expect being hip-moe-tized to be the larger factor. (Hey .. It "worked" before, making me feel like a non-smoker for 1.5 yrs. <gah! that was almost 20yrs ago!>

My head weighs six solid Easter bunnies, or three and a half hollow ones. :lol:

:lol:

Ack!! Somehow this reminded me of something I put up w/ for .. ...probably years pre-Gluten-free Casein-free etc-free.

SOOOOO very often, and for a long stretch every day all day, my neck seemed too weak to hold my head up w/out add'l pain. BAH!! :hatingglutenface:

DingoGirl Enthusiast

my sillies - a confession. Not a secret, as anyone around me knows.

I have been eating SOOOOOOO many nuggets and kisses. :ph34r: I mean, maybe.....two bags a week? And quite consistently. Like, since I started dating Kissey.

Well, I USED to get a terrible gluten-type reaction from too many nuggets, as many of you will remember from the annals of the OMG thread.

Well now, I do NOT get any kind of runny poop, almost EVER. But, I DID notice some white-ish spots in my poop recently, and more than once - - which reminded me of before celiac dx, when the white stripes (sorry, TMI) were undigested fat from malabsorption.

So......I am wondering if my mental state - this anxiety and worry - is coming from my EVIL TREATS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So - let's say - - I go back on Effexor, and back away from the nuggets. :lol: And I feel better - well hell, then I won't KNOW what in hell is causing this agitation.

But this leads me to this conclusion: if in fact certain foods can cause agitation, and I am more than certain they do - - maybe the Effexor can combat that occasional vagary in eating - I mean - I will lay off the Hershey's - - but also go back on the antidepressant because........

well because I'm pyscho, I reckon.

:lol: :lol: :lol:

Did I mention I"m getting my period within the next two days?

(sorry to Tom and Peter and I WOULD apologize to Richard but he's NEVER here any more - is he? )

<almost like mentioning tassel-twirling, mehopes?>

and now, my sillies, I am watching the news and am going to find out why my beloved orchards are being ripped out LIKE CRAZY. :(

DingoGirl Enthusiast
Yes! Another dandy shot! Now I'm wondering if it's in some well-known-to-everyone-but-me spot in Big Sur. Hmmmmmmm :huh:

No, not everyone knows about this place, I suspect. But when you go, stop at Big Sur Bakery - it's called Loma Linda and there is the kookiest store there, a kooky but fabulous outdoor garden/gallery/performance area, and many local nuts. I stop in there every time. They told us to climb in this newly-built tree-house thingy, and we did.

Annie - she's not that good at photography. But you should SEE how adorable she is on the beach, practicing her herding. We are not sure why, but she selects certain dogs, adn just decides to herd them up - - round and round in circles, sand and fur flying as she is practically down on her side from the centrifugal force of her fierce chasing (like a motorcycle racing on a track), her head even w/ the other dog's back flank. :lol: :lol: :lol: David and I just sat there, watching from the rocks and cracking up at her antics, and how shockingly fast she can run with her tubby little WEASEL body.

My little Lemon Squeezee. :lol: :lol: :lol:

tom Contributor
OMG - I actually smoke MORE now. :ph34r: Kissey and I - the clove cigarettes. I used to smoke about - not kidding - one pack A YEAR - they were kept in teh freezer. Now - it's one pack every two months or so, OR MORE. I told David - we are NOT smokers!!!!!!!!!! NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 'tis evil. :ph34r:

You've gotta be effin KIDDING ME!!!! :ph34r:

I meant to ask, after smelling a clove a while back, both hoping and TRULY ex-freaking-pecting you to say that you haven't had a one since Kisseyboy came 'round!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

BUT YOU'RE BOTH SMOKING THOSE VILE THINGS???????? :blink:

Screw that SUSAN JANE!!!!!!!!!!

I'm not quittin' 'til you pledge to also!!!!!!!

DingoGirl Enthusiast
Screw that SUSAN!!!!!!!!!!

I'm not quittin' 'til you pledge to also!!!!!!!

:o

:ph34r::ph34r:

:lol: :lol: :lol:

He called me SUSAN. OMG, I must be REALLY in trouble. Next thing, it'll be Susan Jane, just like getting in trouble in childhood. (they call me Susie, when I got in trouble - Susan - really in trouble - Susan Jane.) :lol: :lol:

um......but......cloves are..........benign, right? not harmful? :ph34r:

Darn210 Enthusiast

Susie . . . my totally unsolicited advice . . . give up the nutmeg cinnamon clove cigarettes and keep the chocolate.


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Darn210 Enthusiast
He called me SUSAN. OMG, I must be REALLY in trouble. Next thing, it'll be Susan Jane, just like getting in trouble in childhood. (they call me Susie, when I got in trouble - Susan - really in trouble - Susan Jane.) :lol: :lol:

Did I know your middle name was Jane? . . . I'm sure I told you my middle name was Susan . . . but I can't find the conversation. It was back when I was calling you Sue and you can't do a three-letter search . . . BAH!!!!

Darn210 Enthusiast
I have been eating SOOOOOOO many nuggets and kisses. :ph34r: I mean, maybe.....two bags a week? And quite consistently. Like, since I started dating Kissey.

Well, I USED to get a terrible gluten-type reaction from too many nuggets, as many of you will remember from the annals of the OMG thread.

Well now, I do NOT get any kind of runny poop, almost EVER. But, I DID notice some white-ish spots in my poop recently, and more than once - - which reminded me of before celiac dx, when the white stripes (sorry, TMI) were undigested fat from malabsorption.

So......I am wondering if my mental state - this anxiety and worry - is coming from my EVIL TREATS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

. . . and Susie, have you been reading the Hershey's threads? They are no longer saying that gluten is called out in their label. If it says "natural flavors", it is not necessarily gluten free because they have farmed out some of their manufacturing.

~alex~ Explorer
We assumed that his exhaustion and startling weakness were residuals from the pneumonia, and the stress of being in hospital. But last night they took him off the ATIVAN they'd been feeding him.....and now my dad's back. :)

Hmmm, I wonder why they would give him Ativan. I bet they didn't tell him he what they were giving him either. It bugs me when hospitals don't involve patients in their care as much as possible. Obviously it's not always possible but with your dad being as sharp as he is, I don't think they needed to be so autocratic in their care. I'm usually not so anti-hospital/doctors but this just bugs me. I was given a sedative and antipsychotic when I was delirious in the hospital with pneumonia (probably called for since I was ripping my IV out) but they kept me on the meds even after I was doing much better was clearly very lucid. This kind of thing just makes me rather annoyed <_<.

Susie . . . my totally unsolicited advice . . . give up the nutmeg cinnamon clove cigarettes and keep the chocolate.

I second that ;).

elye Community Regular
I have been eating SOOOOOOO many nuggets and kisses. :ph34r: I mean, maybe.....two bags a week? And quite consistently.

Gad, Susie..........a helluva diabetic you'd make....! :rolleyes:

This is interesting...I only have three emoticons showing in my emotibox. Where'd they all go? Why do they all change order, arbitrarily, with no warning, no consultation? Is it some cryptic code, some message system, that Scott is using to communicate with......someone? Morse code, only with little heads......

What can he be saying? And to whom? This is appearing in my "show all" box:

:unsure::blink::ph34r:

Hmmmmmmmmm.......

I think he wants to know how much my head weighs.

Did I mention I"m getting my period within the next two days?

(sorry to Tom and Peter and I WOULD apologize to Richard but he's NEVER here any more - is he? )

<almost like mentioning tassel-twirling, mehopes?>

Whoa......Don't think I know too many guys who'd start turning up at the mention of menstruation. Think we should stick with tassel-twirling.... :lol:

Darn210 Enthusiast
This is interesting...I only have three emoticons showing in my emotibox. Where'd they all go? Why do they all change order, arbitrarily, with no warning, no consultation? Is it some cryptic code, some message system, that Scott is using to communicate with......someone? Morse code, only with little heads......

What can he be saying? And to whom? This is appearing in my "show all" box:

:unsure::blink::ph34r:

Well, since you live in Canada . . . the rest have the day off as a holiday . . . those of us in the states have them all :lol:

blueeyedmanda Community Regular
Amanda - my head is spinning at your productivity! Sounds like a good weekend - except for the liquid poop!

Susie I love the new avatar! Such a cute couple you guys make :)

Excellent, Bev... :lol: Haven't we all got a novel deep down there, somewhere?

I am going to write and illustrate a childrens book one of these days, it has always been my dream.

DingoGirl Enthusiast
Susie . . . my totally unsolicited advice . . . give up the nutmeg cinnamon clove cigarettes and keep the chocolate.

:ph34r:

:lol:

might have to give up both.....

Did I know your middle name was Jane? . . . I\'m sure I told you my middle name was Susan . . . but I can\'t find the conversation. It was back when I was calling you Sue and you can\'t do a three-letter search . . . BAH!!!!

Dammit Janet, I don\'t remember!! Bah!!! :lol:

. . . and Susie, have you been reading the Hershey\'s threads? They are no longer saying that gluten is called out in their label. If it says \"natural flavors\", it is not necessarily gluten free because they have farmed out some of their manufacturing.

I did read a bit. But, figured, since my poops were solid, I am unaffected. Now, not so sure. :huh:

This is interesting...I only have three emoticons showing in my emotibox. Where\'d they all go? Why do they all change order, arbitrarily, with no warning, no consultation? Is it some cryptic code, some message system, that Scott is using to communicate with......someone? Morse code, only with little heads......

What can he be saying? And to whom? This is appearing in my \"show all\" box:

:unsure::blink::ph34r:

Hmmmmmmmmm.......

I think he wants to know how much my head weighs.

:lol: :lol: :lol:

I am SURE Scott wants to know how much yer cabbage weighs.

Well, since you live in Canada . . . the rest have the day off as a holiday . . . those of us in the states have them all :lol:

:lol: Yup, all smileys, present and accounted FOR.

OMG - can I please share another Dingo Moment? :huh:

Last Thursday, while at Long\'s, I locked my keys in the car. Again. Happens a lot - at least once a month - but I leave the windows open three to four inches so - no big deal, just stick my arm in there and unlock. the danged car\'s always out there when I get back. :angry:

So......did it again, at Long\'s. Walked back into the store three times, looking for different implements to open the door, as I had not left windows cracked enough to stick my arm in.

Finally, I get it unlocked.......but, had left my FABULOUS book on the roof of the car, thinking, I\'m not slipping that through the window in case I have to wait for AAA to come unlock the door - will need my book. (The Glass Castle - can hardly put it down.)

So.........I was able to open it, and happily drove off. Looking for my book later, I realized I\'d left it on top of the car in my excitement at unlocking the doors. :ph34r:

So, Kissey boy was driving over that night....I told him what I did (he loves these stories but I have decided not to tell him ALL of the stupid, cabbaged-headed things I do. Just some. :ph34r: ).

Well, he is determined to find it......finds out my precise location in parking lot...goes looking in the lot, walks into the store to axe about Lost and Found......and creeps slowly along the streets to my home, looking for a paperback book to just be lying in the road.

Not there, big surprise.

So, the next morning before we left, he went to Target and bought me the same book.

Arriving at the cabin that night........as I unpack my things.......there is the so-called \"lost\" book - - I had been so efficient, that I had already packed it to go...................

Gads. :blink: I am such an eejit.

So.......the moral of the story is - - I shall quit trying to be efficient, because what\'s the point, it always backfires. :wacko::lol:

But.......I hafta say - - David did have QUITE a big guffaw when I discovered that the book was there and now I had......two of the same book.

:lol:

DingoGirl Enthusiast

OMG - suddenly - I edited my above post - - and all these SLASHES are appearing after (or before?) the apostrophes......

what in hell?

does this have to do w/ Emily's lost emoticons?

What can this mean???????????????????????

:lol:

wackl

Darn210 Enthusiast
OMG - suddenly - I edited my above post - - and all these SLASHES are appearing after (or before?) the apostrophes......

what in hell?

does this have to do w/ Emily's lost emoticons?

What can this mean???????????????????????

:lol:

wackl

Yes, tis related . . . they're on holiday from Canada . . . gotta go somewhere . . . might as well go visit California Susie.

Send me your extra Castle copy, toot sweet. I'm heading out on spring break in about two weeks and will need something to read on the long ride to Bev's Boston.

psawyer Proficient
Did I mention I"m getting my period within the next two days?

(sorry to Tom and Peter and I WOULD apologize to Richard but he's NEVER here any more - is he? )

<almost like mentioning tassel-twirling, mehopes?>

I can't speak for Tom, or the long lost Richard, but having been married for over 26 years, I have been the close-quarters observer for well over 300 periods. I understand a visit from Aunt Flo. B)

And PMS, well, I'm just not going there. ;)

tom Contributor
So, I must fill ya all in on my dad's great recovery. . . .

. .. .. But last night they took him off the ATIVAN they'd been feeding him.....and now my dad's back. :)

Yay!!!!!!!! :)

But Egads! I know nothing of Ativan but now harbor resentment for it.

oh my gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaawd :angry:

I had all my quotes stacked up, and was planning on a two-parter......did a copy/paste thing - - highlighted all the quotes n' stuff.........THOUGHT I hit "copy" before I deleted all of it - - BUT NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

:blink:

Well . .. . .throw a sharp elbow at Kisseyboy for me, as I do believe he agreed it was HIS job to prevent these occurrances.

A macro could be assigned to a button in browser's toolbar to do it ALL, but until then, if I were you, I'd at least go a step beyond what appears to have been done above.

Hmmm where's it pasted? Now I'm all confuzzled. ( :lol: thx for the word Amanda)

I'd prob use Notepad.

Notepad can be dropped onto the Windows Taskbar for easy access.

So - let's say - - I go back on Effexor, and back away from the nuggets. :lol: And I feel better - well hell, then I won't KNOW what in hell is causing this agitation.

Hold on a second!!!

The Nuggetizing's been going on how long?

More than a month, right? And the backing off of Effexor is for just a short while?

(sorry to Tom and Peter and I WOULD apologize to Richard but he's NEVER here any more - is he? )

Oh plz - like I haven't seen enough of this betw here & OMG.

It's only details & specifics that necessitate speedscrolling.

um......but......cloves are..........benign, right? not harmful? :ph34r:

You're kidding, right? I'd always heard cloves were far worse for the lungs. Like 1 clove = 10 regulars.

. . ..Is it some cryptic code, some message system, that Scott is using to communicate with......someone? Morse code, only with little heads......

What can he be saying? And to whom? This is appearing in my "show all" box:

:unsure::blink::ph34r:

:lol: :lol:

Maybe you need to hit refresh a few times, until the sequence repeats.

It could very well then resemble ship-to-ship spotlight communication.

Hmmmmmmmmm.......

I think he wants to know how much my head weighs.

:lol: :lol:

Oh dang! Where'd the 'confession post' go?

Got one o' me own. :D

Total impulse yesterday - suddenly NEEDED to try Tjoe's gluten-free Ginger Snaps.

Hadn't been even tempted in the least in all this time. And in case there was a quick reaction, got a TJ 3pack of chocolate bars. :lol:

Ate it ALL and somehow have felt great all day!! ( but . . .. :ph34r: now I'm figuring I'll find out there's a 2 or 3 day delay .. . .. .must eat only safest now to minimize variables)

tom Contributor
Arriving at the cabin that night........as I unpack my things.......there is the so-called \"lost\" book - - I had been so efficient, that I had already packed it to go...................

:lol: lmao

Sooooooooooo .. . . .. ..what WAS put on the roof of the car then?

Yes, tis related . . . they're on holiday from Canada . . . gotta go somewhere . . . might as well go visit California Susie.

"Go West, Young Backslash"

<but but .. . .canada goes as far west as california!>

<not emily's part>

<that's stupid anyway>

< :P >

blueeyedmanda Community Regular

Good Morning Sillies!!!!

How us everyone this morning! Its back to work again, the nights are never long enough, but after a 3 weeks hiatus I went back to the gym....Hurrah! Now if only I can keep with it....I was trying on my spring and summer clothes and they were a little tight....sad!

elye Community Regular

Good Morning, Everybody!

Janet! You're brilliant....That is absolutely the reason I had only a quarter of my emoticons show up yesterday. Like our government employees, Canadian emoticons (and most European ones, as well, I should think) did not appear due to our official holiday status. Of course, most of them are back this morning...like gov workers, some of them wander in around nine, and suddenly the numbers thin out at around three. These guys have clocked in:

:huh::o:lol::D:P<_<

But what if I need the angry guy, or the rolly eyes, or Mr. Befuddled? Are they unionized? I may have something cool to say before nine am, and need the sunglasses guy, dagnabbit....

...I'm not smelling a .......strike,.....am I? Or work to rule?....

Mygawd....what would the scabs look like? :lol:

(The Glass Castle - can hardly put it down.)

Ah!! Bizarre....There is something....odd afoot. I am almost finished The Glass Castle. The joke around here has been that we have two copies in the house, as you now do, Susie. I picked it up at Value Village, started reading, and last week I notice my daughter reading it. I asked her about it, and she told me it was her book, and that they are studying it in English. So we keep confusing each other's copies, losing each other's places, moving the bookmarks.....

Anyone else suddenly have two copies of this book in their homes? :twighlightzoneface:

OMG - suddenly - I edited my above post - - and all these SLASHES are appearing after (or before?) the apostrophes......

does this have to do w/ Emily's lost emoticons?

What can this mean???????????????????????

Mygawd.....this is NOT occurring with me. In fact....I cannot GET a slash to appear. I'm getting a blank space for the slashes. There's something international afoot...I bet it's a free trade issue. Anyone in Mexico on here? We can see what's happening down there... :rolleyes::lol:

I can't speak for Tom, or the long lost Richard, but having been married for over 26 years, I have been the close-quarters observer for well over 300 periods. I understand a visit from Aunt Flo.

And PMS, well, I'm just not going there. ;)

:lol::lol: Peter.....

nikki-uk Enthusiast
So.......the moral of the story is - - I shall quit trying to be efficient, because what\'s the point, it always backfires. :wacko::lol:

:lol: ...love those Dingo moments

I can't speak for Tom, or the long lost Richard, but having been married for over 26 years, I have been the close-quarters observer for well over 300 periods. I understand a visit from Aunt Flo. B)

And PMS, well, I'm just not going there. ;)

:lol:

Peter, goes about his daily business, stoically suffering all kinds of marital heiousities - as I suspected he would.

Good Morning Sillies!!!!

How us everyone this morning! Its back to work again, the nights are never long enough, but after a 3 weeks hiatus I went back to the gym....Hurrah! Now if only I can keep with it....I was trying on my spring and summer clothes and they were a little tight....sad!

...alway's makes me think of Hernia's :huh:

Amanda - good gaaaaawd...no need to tell me about summer clothes too tight!!!!! <_<

...BUT, my head did weigh in today at a full half pound lighter ....airhead :lol:

OMG!!! My Ebay auction is nearly OVER bar 2 items (when it's gone it's gone folks)..HA!!!...so far made

jerseyangel Proficient

Mornin' all :D

The Photo on the Night Stand~

After a long night of making love, he notices a photo of another man on her nightstand by the bed.

He begins to worry... "Is this your husband?" he nervously asks.

"No, silly," she replies, snuggling up to him.

"Your boyfriend, then?" he continues.

"No, not at all," she says, nibbling away at his ear.

"Is it your dad or your brother?" he inquires, hoping to be reassured.

"No, no, no! You are so hot when you're jealous!" she answers.

"Well, who in the hell is he, then?" he demands.

"That's me before the surgery

B)

nikki-uk Enthusiast
"That's me before the surgery

:o:lol::lol::lol:

DingoGirl Enthusiast
Yes, tis related . . . they're on holiday from Canada . . . gotta go somewhere . . . might as well go visit California Susie.

Send me your extra Castle copy, toot sweet. I'm heading out on spring break in about two weeks and will need something to read on the long ride to Bev's Boston.

hmmmm......well, my mom is demanding her copy back, :lol: and someone wants to borrow the other one. Can you send it back to me, tout sweet, after ya read it? that could work. Maybe we'll just send this book all over the world, to all the sillies? Except Emily, of course.......who now also has two copies......... <twilightzone, indeed! put one atop yer car, Em, and see what happens.......> :ph34r:

I can't speak for Tom, or the long lost Richard, but having been married for over 26 years, I have been the close-quarters observer for well over 300 periods. I understand a visit from Aunt Flo.

And PMS, well, I'm just not going there. ;)

:lol:

'Tis hard to decipher these moods, I must say. Is it all the Nuggets? Lack of Effexor? The new melatonin I"m taking? the imminent menstrual cycle? So hard to say what causes these things.

Yay!!!!!!!! :)

But Egads! I know nothing of Ativan but now harbor resentment for it.

I LOVE Ativan. :lol::ph34r: If they had me on that, in the hospital, and then I came off it, everyone would say.......she was SO much nicer, more docile, in the hospital....let's take her back there!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

lmao

Sooooooooooo .. . . .. ..what WAS put on the roof of the car then?

There was NOTHING atop the roof of the car. I put the book there, but did retrieve it. I am just a dodo, that's all.

Mygawd.....this is NOT occurring with me. In fact....I cannot GET a slash to appear. I'm getting a blank space for the slashes. There's something international afoot...I bet it's a free trade issue. Anyone in Mexico on here? We can see what's happening down there..

:lol: :lol:

OMG!!! My Ebay auction is nearly OVER bar 2 items (when it's gone it's gone folks)..HA!!!...so far made

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    • Wheatwacked
      Raising you vitamin D will increase absorption of calcium automatically without supplementation of calcium.  A high PTH can be caused by low D causing poor calcium absorption; not insuffient calcium intake.  With low D your body is not absorbing calcium from your food so it steals it from your bones.  Heart has priority over bone. I've been taking 10,000 IU D3 a day since 2015.  My doctor says to continue. To fix my lactose intolerance, lots of lactobacillus from yogurts, and brine fermented pickles and saurkraut and olives.  We lose much of our ability to make lactase endogenosly with maturity but a healthy colony of lactobacillus in our gut excretes lactase in exchange for room and board. The milk protein in grass fed milk does not bother me. It tastes like the milk I grew up on.  If I drink commercial milk I get heartburn at night. Some experts estimate that 90% of us do not eat Adequite Intake of choline.  Beef and eggs are the principle source. Iodine deficiency is a growing concern.  I take 600 mcg a day of Liquid Iodine.  It and NAC have accelerated my healing all over.  Virtually blind in my right eye after starting antihypertensive medication and vision is slowly coming back.  I had to cut out starches because they drove my glucose up into the 200+ range.  I replaced them with Red Bull for the glucose intake with the vitamins, minerals and Taurine needed to process through the mitochodria Krebs Cycle to create ATP.  Went from A1c 13 down to 7.9.  Work in progress. Also take B1,B2,B3,B5,B6. Liquid Iodine, Phosphatidyl Choline, Q10, Selenium, D and DHEA.     Choline supplemented as phosphatidylcholine decreases fasting and postmethionine-loading plasma homocysteine concentrations in healthy men +    
    • knitty kitty
      @catnapt, Wheat germ has very little gluten in it.  Gluten is  the carbohydrate storage protein, what the flour is made from, the fluffy part.  Just like with beans, there's the baby plant that will germinate  ("germ"-inate) if sprouted, and the bean part is the carbohydrate storage protein.   Wheat germ is the baby plant inside a kernel of wheat, and bran is the protective covering of the kernel.   Little to no gluten there.   Large amounts of lectins are in wheat germ and can cause digestive upsets, but not enough Gluten to provoke antibody production in the small intestines. Luckily you still have time to do a proper gluten challenge (10 grams of gluten per day for a minimum of two weeks) before your next appointment when you can be retested.    
    • knitty kitty
      Hello, @asaT, I'm curious to know whether you are taking other B vitamins like Thiamine B1 and Niacin B3.  Malabsorption in Celiac disease affects all the water soluble B vitamins and Vitamin C.  Thiamine and Niacin are required to produce energy for all the homocysteine lowering reactions provided by Folate, Cobalamine and Pyridoxine.   Weight gain with a voracious appetite is something I experienced while malnourished.  It's symptomatic of Thiamine B1 deficiency.   Conversely, some people with thiamine deficiency lose their appetite altogether, and suffer from anorexia.  At different periods on my lifelong journey, I suffered this, too.   When the body doesn't have sufficient thiamine to turn food, especially carbohydrates, into energy (for growth and repair), the body rations what little thiamine it has available, and turns the carbs into fat, and stores it mostly in the abdomen.  Consuming a high carbohydrate diet requires additional thiamine to process the carbs into energy.  Simple carbohydrates (sugar, white rice, etc.) don't contain thiamine, so the body easily depletes its stores of Thiamine processing the carbs into fat.  The digestive system communicates with the brain to keep eating in order to consume more thiamine and other nutrients it's not absorbing.   One can have a subclinical thiamine insufficiency for years.  A twenty percent increase in dietary thiamine causes an eighty percent increase in brain function, so the symptoms can wax and wane mysteriously.  Symptoms of Thiamine insufficiency include stunted growth, chronic fatigue, and Gastrointestinal Beriberi (diarrhea, abdominal pain), heart attack, Alzheimer's, stroke, and cancer.   Thiamine improves bone turnover.  Thiamine insufficiency can also affect the thyroid.  The thyroid is important in bone metabolism.  The thyroid also influences hormones, like estrogen and progesterone, and menopause.  Vitamin D, at optimal levels, can act as a hormone and can influence the thyroid, as well as being important to bone health, and regulating the immune system.  Vitamin A is important to bone health, too, and is necessary for intestinal health, as well.   I don't do dairy because I react to Casein, the protein in dairy that resembles gluten and causes a reaction the same as if I'd been exposed to gluten, including high tTg IgA.  I found adding mineral water containing calcium and other minerals helpful in increasing my calcium intake.   Malabsorption of Celiac affects all the vitamins and minerals.  I do hope you'll talk to your doctor and dietician about supplementing all eight B vitamins and the four fat soluble vitamins because they all work together interconnectedly.  
    • Florence Lillian
      Hi Jane: You may want to try the D3 I now take. I have reactions to fillers and many additives. Sports Research, it is based in the USA and I have had no bad reactions with this brand. The D3 does have coconut oil but it is non GMO, it is Gluten free, Soy free, Soybean free and Safflower oil free.  I have a cupboard full of supplements that did not agree with me -  I just keep trying and have finally settled on Sports Research. I take NAKA Women's Multi full spectrum, and have not felt sick after taking 2 capsules per day -  it is a Canadian company. I buy both from Amazon. I wish you well in your searching, I know how discouraging it all is. Florence.  
    • catnapt
      highly unlikely  NOTHING and I mean NOTHING else has ever caused me these kinds of symptoms I have no problem with dates, they are a large part of my diet In fact, I eat a very high fiber, very high vegetable and bean diet and have for many years now. It's considered a whole foods plant based or plant forward diet (I do now eat some lean ground turkey but not much) I was off dairy for years but recently had to add back plain yogurt to meet calcium needs that I am not allowed to get from supplements (I have not had any problem with the yogurt)   I eat almost no processed foods. I don't eat out. almost everything I eat, I cook myself I am going to keep a food diary but to be honest, I already know that it's wheat products and also barley that are the problem, which is why I gradually stopped eating and buying them. When I was eating them, like back in early 2024, when I was in the middle of moving and ate out (always had bread or toast or rolls or a sub or pizza) I felt terrible but at that time was so busy and exhausted that I never stopped to think it was the food. Once I was in my new place, I continued to have bread from time to time and had such horrible joint pain that I was preparing for 2 total knee replacements as well as one hip! The surgery could not go forward as I was (and still am) actively losing calcium from my bones. That problem has yet to be properly diagnosed and treated   anyway over time I realized that I felt better when I stopped eating bread. Back at least 3 yrs ago I noticed that regular pasta made me sick so I switched to brown rice pasta and even though it costs a lot more, I really like it.   so gradually I just stopped buying and eating foods with gluten. I stopped getting raisin bran when I was constipated because it made me bloated and it didn't help the constipation any more (used to be a sure bet that it would in the past)   I made cookies and brownies using beans and rolled oats and dates and tahini and I LOVE them and have zero issues eating those I eat 1 or more cans of beans per day easily can eat a pound of broccoli - no problem! Brussels sprouts the same thing.   so yeh it's bread and related foods that are clearly the problem  there is zero doubt in my mind    
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