Jump to content
  • Welcome to Celiac.com!

    You have found your celiac tribe! Join us and ask questions in our forum, share your story, and connect with others.


  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A1):
    Celiac.com Sponsor (A1-M):
  • Get Celiac.com Updates:
    Support Our Content
    eNewsletter
    Donate

The Funny Pages - Tickle Me Elbow - The Original


TriticusToxicum

Recommended Posts

elye Community Regular
My newly fixed plumbing is rocking

Ah! Methinks, therefore, that you will be pregnant real soon. . . ...... <_<:lol:

OK- since my ENTIRE neighborhood went back to school/work this week and it is a flippin ghost town, PLEASE tell me that working full-time is highly overrated. I'm lonely! My "students" (online) don't come until next week.

Bevel! It's just all the more time you can spend here! :D

I know what ya mean..... . ....I don't begin my teaching gigs until the third week of Sept.

Ho hum. . .. . .........

But why are my busiest periods in life those where I am NOT working? :huh:


Celiac.com Sponsor (A8):
Celiac.com Sponsor (A8):



Celiac.com Sponsor (A8-M):



  • Replies 51k
  • Created
  • Last Reply
ranger Enthusiast

Don't have any time today- spent the whole day baking so I can go to a family picnic Sat. where all the food is supplied. Except for me- a freak of nature. GRRR. Could be worse. I could have been born beautiful, with all the attendant problems that go along with that.

Sir Lady Sleez (I seem to have nighted myself)

DingoGirl Enthusiast
Joooodie! You found a St. Joseph statue, brought it home, and placed it on yer property? Within a few hours?? Awesome. St. Joseph statues must be readily available... . .do they have rows of them at Walmart or Costco? :rolleyes:

What in hell is a totals query? What's a regular query? Questions that are more involved, more detailed, versus those that simply skim the surface? Are all men jerks? Versus Do all men misunderstand everything we say, misinterpret and fail to hear all we ask unless it is an invitation to have sex?

Sumfin' like that, maybe.. .. . .....

:blink:

yup, Jess's statement really did scare me last night :lol: dunno WHAT IN HELL it was about -

stress relief? I think the wine drinking starts around 4 today :(

Suzlet- We apparently have something in common. Did I here you say you're poor? Or that you frequently poor youself a drink? Either way..........

Lady Fartalot :lol: <slight snortle here but no big guffaws lately - boo>

Both are correct, Sleziak. ;)

Oddly enough, since he knows I'm going back to school, and I'm only using him for free tuition, I have essentially fired him. He really has no authority over me whatsoever, I'm working entirely for my own benefit (in my opinion).

<snackle> brilliant, Geoss

Speaking of pictures, just went and had me drivers license renewed. We are now prohibited from smiling in any government issue photograph. No smile, smirk, no nuttin' where the corners of your mouth are turned up, even teenily.

:blink: WHOT? yer not allowed to smile in Canada? What is this about? that is totally crazy, man. And really funny. I would be beyond the ability to stifle spitting laughter in this situation. Could NEVER have a picture taken, would probably be carted off to the slammer for inability to comply with this stupid law. :lol:

OK- since my ENTIRE neighborhood went back to school/work this week and it is a flippin ghost town, PLEASE tell me that working full-time is highly overrated. I'm lonely! My "students" (online) don't come until next week.

Bevel - very lonely here too - come on out. I can't promise any fun.....just some good mojitos. Maybe.

Sir Lady Sleez (I seem to have nighted myself)

Sleez is the wackl-est one of all :lol:

sills - lots of activity on FB with gals from HS. lots of fun.....but they don't know about my life.....only Karenly does. :( Don't know how I can keep this up......but I'm very good at writing superficial psilly coments - they think I am THE FUNNIEST ONE - got all my training and practice at this very place, Sills. :wub:

but I'm gonna have to go underground soon........

very stressful. :huh:

elye Community Regular
:blink: WHOT? yer not allowed to smile in Canada? What is this about? that is totally crazy, man. And really funny. I would be beyond the ability to stifle spitting laughter in this situation. Could NEVER have a picture taken, would probably be carted off to the slammer for inability to comply with this stupid law. :lol:

'Tis SOooOoo amusing, really. Cannot show our teeth - - must be completely expressionless, which means no smiling, but also no frowning, jeering, twitching, signs of shock, surprise, bemusement.

Um, yeah.....these things could interfere with the new Official Face Recognition Template System that has been put in place. One can wear a burqa or turban, covering the head, hair and forehead.... . ......but you'd best not be smilin' whilst you sport these things, as a smile will disguise you big time! :huh::huh::lol:

Open Original Shared Link

- they think I am THE FUNNIEST ONE -

Well......Soooozle, you IS. We know this. . . . . ..... B):)

Judyin Philly Enthusiast
Due to some faulty wiring dating back to the middle ages, men have had the misguided misconception that anything that comes out of a women's mouth is, in actuality, a problem that can only be fixed by the supreme and worldly knowledge and advice of the so called 'dominant' species.

There is also speculation that even as far back as the caveman days, the male species erroneously believed that they alone had all the answers, when, in actuality, it was the cavewoman who realized that the best way to get the men out of their hair was to convince them that they were best suited to run all over the countryside chasing and killing wild creatures. This left the cavewoman free to take care of everything else. ;)

There is also the belief that the aforementioned faulty wiring created a short circuit to the auditory canal, ensuring that the male species has a permanent and irreparable distortion of the way they process any input at or near the decibel level of the female voice.

:huh:

I'm sure there's documentation on that somewhere...... . . .. .

:P

There apparently also exists a male sub-species who's wiring has deteriorated to the extent that their brain theoretically receives but somehow fails to process pertinent visual input, such as wedding pictures, wedding ring, etc. There is little hope that these individuals will be capable of reproducing any viable offspring. :rolleyes:

this whole quote deserves to be read again.

wonderful curly lisa

The Ripper's newly braced teeth are killing him. He is a miserable kid, so thank gawd fer Advil Extra Strength Gel-caps......

Give the Ripper a hug for me...poor guy

Good Morning me psillies-

Judy- Hope that house sells soon so you can be less stressed!

Bev thanks

y :blink: up, Jess's statement really did scare me last night :lol: dunno WHAT IN HELL it was about -

stress relief? I think the wine drinking starts around 4 today :(

Lady Fartalot :lol: <slight snortle here but no big guffaws lately - boo>

Both are correct, Sleziak. ;)

<snackle> brilliant, Geoss

:blink: WHOT? yer not allowed to smile in Canada? What is this about? that is totally crazy, man. And really funny. I would be beyond the ability to stifle spitting laughter in this situation. Could NEVER have a picture taken, would probably be carted off to the slammer for inability to comply with this stupid law. :lol:

Bevel - very lonely here too - come on out. I can't promise any fun.....just some good mojitos. Maybe.

Sleez is the wackl-est one of all :lol:

sills - lots of activity on FB with gals from HS. lots of fun.....but they don't know about my life.....only Karenly does. :( Don't know how I can keep this up......but I'm very good at writing superficial psilly coments - they think I am THE FUNNIEST ONE - got all my training and practice at this very place, Sills. :wub:

but I'm gonna have to go underground soon........

very stressful. :huh:

no don't

waiting for realator ......45 min late crap

dinner in oven will burn again.

judy

flourgirl Apprentice
Sorry I missed the All PoWerPhul OmniScient Creator of Psilli-villi! I so enjoyed his psilliness when I was attempting to start at the beginning.

"In the beGGinning, there was RisChard. Alone in the VoId of NothinGness! He laffed breAth into the vOid and so beGat liphe in Psilli-ville. On the phirst day he creAted Oskar May-ar BoloGnA. On the SekonD daY he tikkled liphe into the ElBoW of Pseussle, who reMains in the GarDen to this day!" :lol::lol::lol:

Jest fer all the NewBees.....I'm qwoting meselph to answer the kwestion...."Who is Richard?". You can view the beginning of creation of psillyville in Gennesees page 1 :P

blueeyedmanda Community Regular

Evening Folks

Very quiet night here- I am sitting on the couch and chilling on FBook what is becoming of me? I am playing farmville and now soriority life too...tis addicting. I find myself tending to my pharm during work :ph34r: Also got HS friends finding me- turns out next yr is our 10 yr reunion and ppl are coming out of the shadows...some I have not spoken to since graduation night.

How is everyone else?

Are the rippers teeth a little less painphul?


Celiac.com Sponsor (A8):
Celiac.com Sponsor (A8):



Celiac.com Sponsor (A8-M):



ranger Enthusiast

Where is everyone? If you think I was nonphunni yesterday, I am 50 times more nonphunni today. I'm going to take a shower -maybe if I look down, I'll see sumptin to laugh about. Letcha no.

Ms. Susan Sagsalot

elye Community Regular
I'm going to take a shower -maybe if I look down, I'll see sumptin to laugh about.

:lol: Or cry about. . . . .....

I looked down this early mornin', and was not larfin'......it was grimacing that I was doing, as I had my mammogram done. Incredible how one's breast just becomes something so foreign, so bizarre-looking, like something that could never be part of one's body, when squished between those glass plates.

jerseyangel Proficient

Oh Emily, I never look down.....(shudder).....

celiac-mommy Collaborator
Um, yeah.....these things could interfere with the new Official Face Recognition Template System that has been put in place. One can wear a burqa or turban, covering the head, hair and forehead.... . ......but you'd best not be smilin' whilst you sport these things, as a smile will disguise you big time! :huh::huh::lol:

We have them licenses here in Worshington too. Me poor 4y/o son's ID looks like dem mug shots. Sad tang is, it probbly won't be his first... :huh:

I looked down this early mornin', and was not larfin'......it was grimacing that I was doing, as I had my mammogram done.

Had me first'n last week. Me gyno felt me up and found a nugget of somphin in thar, thought she shood torture me sommore, twas a site I don't EVER want to see agin-as if my perception of my booblessness wasn't enough, I had to see them stretched out like they were comin out of a fondant sheeter :o:lol::lol:

Me inlaws arrrrr comin today, along with the nit-wit of a bro-in-law. I'm gonna need some pserrrriousss vodka tonight!!!

My baby girl turns 8 today. Gawd it seems like yesterday her enormous head was----never mind, hurts too bad to think about :o She gets her braces off in a month--tell Ripper the pain only lasts a few days....and then they tighten the damn things again next month and start all over. Might want to take stock in Advil ;)

Hope you all have a fabuloso and psuper psillie Friday!!

jerseyangel Proficient
My baby girl turns 8 today.

My baby boy turns 25 today! :D (I miss him :( )

Don't get me started (again) on license fotos.....I had a rare and perphectly nice one from PA--my Tex-Ass one has me looking like a prison escapee <_< No smile--I actually look mean.....and/or pisssed :lol:

JNBunnie1 Community Regular

Y'know, this whole mammogram thing pisses me off, because they have technology that's more reliable, completely non invasive, and doesn't expose you to radiation. It's 'too expensive' though. I have to wonder how many cases of breast cancer mammograms have CAUSED.

OH! Oh! I made peach cobbler!!!

mushroom Proficient
Oh Emily, I never look down.....(shudder).....

How CAN you look down during that manoover anyways? One arm wrapped around de machine in a bear hug with the corner of de machine digging painfullly into armpit, the other clutching anything that will help you keep your balance as you are instructed "Move towards me a bit, no move back, now turn and face de machine, no, not your head dummy, your body, turn your head dis way, put your chin there, wait dat doesn't look like it's hoiting you enough, let me clamp it down some more, get your belly out of dere and with your third hand hold dat other boob out of de way, now your head's wrong, look up dere, all right now hold your breath" as if you can breathe at that point anyway. Repeat procedure three times, and one additional time because she fllubbed one.....Ah, de boobogram :P

jerseyangel Proficient

I have an internal argument with myself every time I go for a mammogram. I skipped 2 years previous to this last one in June and by the time I had it I was so nervous that they were going to find something that by the time I got the results in the mail 3 weeks later (they had to send up to NJ to get my films--wouldn't read until they arrived) that I literally burst into tears when I saw they were "normal".

My instinct is to keep a good eye on any changes myself and forgo the radiation, but there's always the nagging question of what if. I hate the invassiveness of it and it causes me a great deal of anxiety.

Gawd.....that wasn't very silly :huh:

jerseyangel Proficient
.....and with your third hand hold dat other boob out of de way...

:lol::lol::lol:

You have captured the procedure poiphectly, Shroom! :lol:

celiac-mommy Collaborator
My baby boy turns 25 today! :D (I miss him :( )

Don't get me started (again) on license fotos.....I had a rare and perphectly nice one from PA--my Tex-Ass one has me looking like a prison escapee <_< No smile--I actually look mean.....and/or pisssed :lol:

My last one was good, the gal actually re-took the photo 3x to get a good one. They weren't very busy that day ;) Maybe I should be offended that she wanted to re-take it 3x....

jerseyangel Proficient
My last one was good, the gal actually re-took the photo 3x to get a good one. They weren't very busy that day ;) Maybe I should be offended that she wanted to re-take it 3x....

I got a mean woman--phirst, she yelled at me to stand on the right phloor tile and then she said "ready?" and by the time the word was out of her mean mouth, she snapped the picture :angry:

Mean as a snake, that one <_<

JNBunnie1 Community Regular
I got a mean woman--phirst, she yelled at me to stand on the right phloor tile and then she said "ready?" and by the time the word was out of her mean mouth, she snapped the picture :angry:

Mean as a snake, that one <_<

Try goin to your local AAA office next time, they do license renewals (I think for a small fee) and they're WAY more friendly and WAY less busy. The people at mine were super cool.

jerseyangel Proficient
Try goin to your local AAA office next time, they do license renewals (I think for a small fee) and they're WAY more friendly and WAY less busy. The people at mine were super cool.

Really??!! I never knew that :o

elye Community Regular
"Move towards me a bit, no move back, now turn and face de machine, no, not your head dummy, your body, turn your head dis way, put your chin there, wait dat doesn't look like it's hoiting you enough, let me clamp it down some more, get your belly out of dere and with your third hand hold dat other boob out of de way, now your head's wrong, look up dere, all right now hold your breath"

:lol::rolleyes: Yup, exactement.. . . ......well, at least she didn't tell me I couldn't smile. Thank goodness, because that is exactly what we all feel like doing as the plates are compressed - - just couldn't help myself.. . ....... <_<

I got a mean woman--phirst, she yelled at me to stand on the right phloor tile and then she said "ready?" and by the time the word was out of her mean mouth, she snapped the picture :angry:

Mean as a snake, that one <_<

Was she funny-looking, like mine? Well, you guys are allowed to smile, so a face like a can of worms is not a problem for youse down there. .. . . ....

:lol:

jerseyangel Proficient
Was she funny-looking, like mine? Well, you guys are allowed to smile, so a face like a can of worms is not a problem for youse down there. .. . . ....

:lol:

We're allowed to smile, this one didn't give me the chance to smile :rolleyes:

Oh well, whaddayagonnado B)

ranger Enthusiast
Where is everyone? If you think I was nonphunni yesterday, I am 50 times more nonphunni today. I'm going to take a shower -maybe if I look down, I'll see sumptin to laugh about. Letcha no.

Ms. Susan Sagsalot

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! And it's lasted all day!

I'M A SHINLESS, TITLESS, BUTTLESS WONDER OF A WOMAN! Almost went down the drain.

ranger Enthusiast

Ah, the yearly bamogram. Can You imagine what it's like for a woman with no titlelists. Owy! Then, they told me I had tiny lumpets, so I had to have a cervical biopsy. Tips to small for a needle biopsy!

Upside- everything Ok

Downside- my left booblet is even smaller.

I WANT SOME JUNK FOOD!

blueeyedmanda Community Regular

Wow- over 12 hours and no posts....did all the sillies vacate for the long holiday weekend? Anyway- we are still sorting out all of our plans. I really want to get to the beach\

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

  • Get Celiac.com Updates:
    Support Celiac.com:
    Join eNewsletter
    Donate

  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A17):
    Celiac.com Sponsor (A17):





    Celiac.com Sponsors (A17-M):




  • Recent Activity

    1. - Wheatwacked replied to Scott Adams's topic in Post Diagnosis, Recovery & Treatment of Celiac Disease
      50

      Supplements for those Diagnosed with Celiac Disease

    2. - knitty kitty replied to catnapt's topic in Celiac Disease Pre-Diagnosis, Testing & Symptoms
      3

      results from 13 day gluten challenge - does this mean I can't have celiac?

    3. - knitty kitty replied to Scott Adams's topic in Post Diagnosis, Recovery & Treatment of Celiac Disease
      50

      Supplements for those Diagnosed with Celiac Disease

    4. - Florence Lillian replied to Jane02's topic in Gluten-Free Foods, Products, Shopping & Medications
      11

      Desperately need a vitamin D supplement. I've reacted to most brands I've tried.

    5. - catnapt replied to catnapt's topic in Celiac Disease Pre-Diagnosis, Testing & Symptoms
      3

      results from 13 day gluten challenge - does this mean I can't have celiac?

  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A19):
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      133,355
    • Most Online (within 30 mins)
      7,748

    Amy Immerman
    Newest Member
    Amy Immerman
    Joined
  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A20):
  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A22):
  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      121.6k
    • Total Posts
      1m
  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A21):
  • Upcoming Events

  • Posts

    • Wheatwacked
      Raising you vitamin D will increase absorption of calcium automatically without supplementation of calcium.  A high PTH can be caused by low D causing poor calcium absorption; not insuffient calcium intake.  With low D your body is not absorbing calcium from your food so it steals it from your bones.  Heart has priority over bone. I've been taking 10,000 IU D3 a day since 2015.  My doctor says to continue. To fix my lactose intolerance, lots of lactobacillus from yogurts, and brine fermented pickles and saurkraut and olives.  We lose much of our ability to make lactase endogenosly with maturity but a healthy colony of lactobacillus in our gut excretes lactase in exchange for room and board. The milk protein in grass fed milk does not bother me. It tastes like the milk I grew up on.  If I drink commercial milk I get heartburn at night. Some experts estimate that 90% of us do not eat Adequite Intake of choline.  Beef and eggs are the principle source. Iodine deficiency is a growing concern.  I take 600 mcg a day of Liquid Iodine.  It and NAC have accelerated my healing all over.  Virtually blind in my right eye after starting antihypertensive medication and vision is slowly coming back.  I had to cut out starches because they drove my glucose up into the 200+ range.  I replaced them with Red Bull for the glucose intake with the vitamins, minerals and Taurine needed to process through the mitochodria Krebs Cycle to create ATP.  Went from A1c 13 down to 7.9.  Work in progress. Also take B1,B2,B3,B5,B6. Liquid Iodine, Phosphatidyl Choline, Q10, Selenium, D and DHEA.     Choline supplemented as phosphatidylcholine decreases fasting and postmethionine-loading plasma homocysteine concentrations in healthy men +    
    • knitty kitty
      @catnapt, Wheat germ has very little gluten in it.  Gluten is  the carbohydrate storage protein, what the flour is made from, the fluffy part.  Just like with beans, there's the baby plant that will germinate  ("germ"-inate) if sprouted, and the bean part is the carbohydrate storage protein.   Wheat germ is the baby plant inside a kernel of wheat, and bran is the protective covering of the kernel.   Little to no gluten there.   Large amounts of lectins are in wheat germ and can cause digestive upsets, but not enough Gluten to provoke antibody production in the small intestines. Luckily you still have time to do a proper gluten challenge (10 grams of gluten per day for a minimum of two weeks) before your next appointment when you can be retested.    
    • knitty kitty
      Hello, @asaT, I'm curious to know whether you are taking other B vitamins like Thiamine B1 and Niacin B3.  Malabsorption in Celiac disease affects all the water soluble B vitamins and Vitamin C.  Thiamine and Niacin are required to produce energy for all the homocysteine lowering reactions provided by Folate, Cobalamine and Pyridoxine.   Weight gain with a voracious appetite is something I experienced while malnourished.  It's symptomatic of Thiamine B1 deficiency.   Conversely, some people with thiamine deficiency lose their appetite altogether, and suffer from anorexia.  At different periods on my lifelong journey, I suffered this, too.   When the body doesn't have sufficient thiamine to turn food, especially carbohydrates, into energy (for growth and repair), the body rations what little thiamine it has available, and turns the carbs into fat, and stores it mostly in the abdomen.  Consuming a high carbohydrate diet requires additional thiamine to process the carbs into energy.  Simple carbohydrates (sugar, white rice, etc.) don't contain thiamine, so the body easily depletes its stores of Thiamine processing the carbs into fat.  The digestive system communicates with the brain to keep eating in order to consume more thiamine and other nutrients it's not absorbing.   One can have a subclinical thiamine insufficiency for years.  A twenty percent increase in dietary thiamine causes an eighty percent increase in brain function, so the symptoms can wax and wane mysteriously.  Symptoms of Thiamine insufficiency include stunted growth, chronic fatigue, and Gastrointestinal Beriberi (diarrhea, abdominal pain), heart attack, Alzheimer's, stroke, and cancer.   Thiamine improves bone turnover.  Thiamine insufficiency can also affect the thyroid.  The thyroid is important in bone metabolism.  The thyroid also influences hormones, like estrogen and progesterone, and menopause.  Vitamin D, at optimal levels, can act as a hormone and can influence the thyroid, as well as being important to bone health, and regulating the immune system.  Vitamin A is important to bone health, too, and is necessary for intestinal health, as well.   I don't do dairy because I react to Casein, the protein in dairy that resembles gluten and causes a reaction the same as if I'd been exposed to gluten, including high tTg IgA.  I found adding mineral water containing calcium and other minerals helpful in increasing my calcium intake.   Malabsorption of Celiac affects all the vitamins and minerals.  I do hope you'll talk to your doctor and dietician about supplementing all eight B vitamins and the four fat soluble vitamins because they all work together interconnectedly.  
    • Florence Lillian
      Hi Jane: You may want to try the D3 I now take. I have reactions to fillers and many additives. Sports Research, it is based in the USA and I have had no bad reactions with this brand. The D3 does have coconut oil but it is non GMO, it is Gluten free, Soy free, Soybean free and Safflower oil free.  I have a cupboard full of supplements that did not agree with me -  I just keep trying and have finally settled on Sports Research. I take NAKA Women's Multi full spectrum, and have not felt sick after taking 2 capsules per day -  it is a Canadian company. I buy both from Amazon. I wish you well in your searching, I know how discouraging it all is. Florence.  
    • catnapt
      highly unlikely  NOTHING and I mean NOTHING else has ever caused me these kinds of symptoms I have no problem with dates, they are a large part of my diet In fact, I eat a very high fiber, very high vegetable and bean diet and have for many years now. It's considered a whole foods plant based or plant forward diet (I do now eat some lean ground turkey but not much) I was off dairy for years but recently had to add back plain yogurt to meet calcium needs that I am not allowed to get from supplements (I have not had any problem with the yogurt)   I eat almost no processed foods. I don't eat out. almost everything I eat, I cook myself I am going to keep a food diary but to be honest, I already know that it's wheat products and also barley that are the problem, which is why I gradually stopped eating and buying them. When I was eating them, like back in early 2024, when I was in the middle of moving and ate out (always had bread or toast or rolls or a sub or pizza) I felt terrible but at that time was so busy and exhausted that I never stopped to think it was the food. Once I was in my new place, I continued to have bread from time to time and had such horrible joint pain that I was preparing for 2 total knee replacements as well as one hip! The surgery could not go forward as I was (and still am) actively losing calcium from my bones. That problem has yet to be properly diagnosed and treated   anyway over time I realized that I felt better when I stopped eating bread. Back at least 3 yrs ago I noticed that regular pasta made me sick so I switched to brown rice pasta and even though it costs a lot more, I really like it.   so gradually I just stopped buying and eating foods with gluten. I stopped getting raisin bran when I was constipated because it made me bloated and it didn't help the constipation any more (used to be a sure bet that it would in the past)   I made cookies and brownies using beans and rolled oats and dates and tahini and I LOVE them and have zero issues eating those I eat 1 or more cans of beans per day easily can eat a pound of broccoli - no problem! Brussels sprouts the same thing.   so yeh it's bread and related foods that are clearly the problem  there is zero doubt in my mind    
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

NOTICE: This site places This site places cookies on your device (Cookie settings). on your device. Continued use is acceptance of our Terms of Use, and Privacy Policy.