The Funny Pages - Tickle Me Elbow - The Original

[summerteeth]

Who else here has a second toe longer than their first?

That reminds me of George Costanza on Seinfield! The one where he breaks up with the woman because she is wearing flip flops and one toe goes over the edge of the flip flop...

Yeah... in addition to my second toe being longer than the first, it is curved (I took pointe lessons at a very young age and my feet paid for it).

[ranger]

Whot?? Sew-zhinne bought herself a mechanic? Fer a hundred bucks?

For that price, he must have exceedingly short thiumbs - - they's always the ones on sale. . .. ....

Amylase- He was small, but he was good!

[mimommy]

Hail-oooo sillyville! <waving arms>

Dear gawd, I cannot believe it - - this gastronomical chaos that is poutine has crossed the border and ensconced itself into the Midwest.

For any who actually want to know the history of this bizarre thing, an older clip that captures the beginnings of the Quebequois invasion:

"Poutine" OMG! Just the name makes me larf But, the thought of eating it... "we take all de leftovairs and mix it all togedder" No thanks, mum

Gads, that poutine sounds like a right, royal MESS!--fit for our gastronomical queen. What say you, BunBun???

Yes, Qween Buns, what is your royal acumen for the poo-tine?

Pootine. Dies that come with a side of Lipitor and a dollop of Crestor?

Snort!

And Susan, my feet are better off left unseen These days they look more like part of a ham than part of a gam

I WENT SHOPPIN,TOO! Got:

A brand new Cadallac Converter- $277.37

Is this when a Cadallac converts to Fordism?

I think we should all put up avatars of our feet, and vote on who has the nicest.

Pfft! Yes!! Let's see those tootsies ladies I'll run right out and get the camera so's youse can see my ganglion cyst and toenail fungus

Welcome to all newbies!!!

Welcome back Nik!

Love all the new av's .

[ranger]

Well, my DD finaly took me out to lunch yesterday. It had to be someplace special, as it was not her b-day, nor was it mine but I could tell the minute we walked in it was special and promised to be a culinary oddisey. Fist of all, ther was not 1, but SEVEN different renditions of Elvis on black velvet, all in ornately moldy frames. They waere entertwined with gleamin peices of fishing tackle, and recently used meat-hooks. The waiters all looked forene (actually, didn't look human), but were exquisitively gowned in a beautiful phloral oil-cloth material. We were escorted by the Bain Marie to a table near the Gents room, that didn't have a door. But, all the citronella candles aroud the room masked the smell, and kept the hundreds of bugs at bay.

In came the phaux silver food cart, amidst a drum-roll by little hairless children all enrobed in an ugly cardigan sweater. This place went all out- no fake phaux silver for us, it was the real thing!My sweat glands were rolling and pounding in gustutory delight. First, they put out a pile of Pomme Frits, glistening in thier combination of unknown vege oil and rancid meat-drippins. Then, a globular mound of meat fat and phlour, topped off with a veneer of cassien and more animal fat! And I knew that it was the Frech-Cananadien dish, Putang! Thank God for the bambulance in the parking lot.

piss I think they stole this dish from my beloved homeland, Rusha

Sihgned: Comrad Slutvana Ilya Whoreowitz

[elye]

These days they look more like part of a ham than part of a gam

((Gasp)).. . . .... . ..........Rayechull the Cloven-hoofed One. . ...

I'll run right out and get the camera so's youse can see my ganglion cyst and toenail fungus

Juuuuuust about to sit down to me lunch. . .......... :greenguy:

[elye]

We were escorted by the Bain Marie to a table near the Gents room, that didn't have a door. But, all the citronella candles aroud the room masked the smell, and kept the hundreds of bugs at bay.

This entire post was a scream, but above was what killed me. . .. ....

Suvlaneitska, are you writing for the KGB? If not, ya should be.....you bring on a good deal more fun than a mickey of vodka, and no crashing hangover (that I know of).....

[Darn210]

Oh Slutvana, you crack me up!!

. . . and I'll just defer my feet picture to Raechull's . . . sounds 'bout the same.

On a side note . . . a long, long time ago (before children) in a land far, far away (Cincinnati), the crowd that hubby and I ran around with had a standing policy. If you left your camera unsupervised, we would take several pictures of feet . . . back in the day when you actually had to have your film developed.

[ranger]

Suvlaneitska, are you writing for the KGB?

If the KGB stands for Kinda Gross Be-atches, ya found me out. I've been outted!

[elye]

If you left your camera unsupervised, we would take several pictures of feet . . . back in the day when you actually had to have your film developed.

OMG.... . .... ....the cruelty! Had you no shame??

Well, we all know where arbitrary pics of MY feet would show up, along with those of my neck, hallway floor and bedspread -- in Les Collections Des Walmarts.. . . ...

[celiac-mommy]

Raye-chull! It is a beeootiful pic, and I thought it was your daughter.... . ..you are GORJUSS. Phunny and beautiful - - what a one-two punch!

Danke!!

Who else here has a second toe longer than their first?

I heard many moons ago that this was a sign of being a great lover. That must mean I suck in bed-wait don't like that either

[ranger]

What's with all the feat fetish today? I'll put my feets up to anyone's pheets. And I have on many occasions. And, with many other body parts! So, you want to have a neat feat contest. Bring it on!

I'm not insulating that my feet are superior to anyone elses, but that they are far better than any of youse pheets. In a foot contest, I'm a hands-down winner.

Do you think I might be kind of bored today?

Here about the guy with 2 left fett? He had to go buy a pair of flip-flips.

Actually, I'm cooking marked down meat I got cheap so I don't get food poisoning. So, I'm typing between flipping.

Do chickens have penises?

[blueeyedmanda]

afternoon sillies- I missed alot...chained to the desk again at work....somethings are not fun to be chained too....

thats my gutter talk for the day!

Bye sillies!

[elye]

Do chickens have penises?

Wait! This should read, Do chickens have penii?

No, wait! Do civckebs have penii?

Um, well.....roosters do not mate with hens. They simply do sumfin' to the egg once it has been laid that causes the yolk to further develop into a chick.

Sumfin like that.. . . .......I'm way outta my league, here.

Jyessssss???

afternoon sillies- I missed alot...chained to the desk again at work....somethings are not fun to be chained too....

Well, methinks one might want to be chained to Sluvestzka's feet, as they are apparently divine. .. ....... . .would win Feet Contests, an' all. . . ........

[ranger]

My husband feels like he is chained to my feet. Poor clueless footless man.

Of course chickens don't have PenII. They are female. Roosters must have penusess because if you have chk they will lay eggs without a rooster, but they will lay fertilized eggs with a rooster, so they must have coitus. As must we all, if we want fertilized eggs. I have no eggs, so I can safely have sex with any rooster if I can find One willing. All I'd have to worry about would RSTD's. I used to raise ckickens in my hippy-dippy organic farm days. Never thaught about doing it with one, though. Could I be the definition of a "dirty old lady".

Ever-Evolveing

[flourgirl]

Who else here has a second toe longer than their first? Um, this, to me, is visually disturbing, quite an ugly glitch.

When I was growing up, and all of us running around barefoot, we thought *everyone* had feet like ours. We all had the same shape.....2nd toe longest, the rest making a nice curve down to the pinkie-toe. THEN!......My oldest brother got married....and this girl had SQUARE FEET!!!!! . It was hilarious to us back then (well....you gotta figger...us farm kids were easily amused in our unworldly way). Took a while to realize that ..... perhaps..... we were a minority! There were all sorts of shapes for feet. BTW....can you pick things up with your toes? Comes in kinda handy <:smirkface:> I still think that feet shaped like ours are normal...others are not!

[elye]

Of course chickens don't have PenII. They are female.

Wait! Hens are female. .. ........chickens include both hens and roosters, so can be either sex. And I assume that they both cross the road, but the rooster NEVER asks fer directions.

I have no eggs, so I can safely have sex with any rooster if I can find One willing. All I'd have to worry about would RSTD's.

You would likely need to RSVP for those RSTDs.....rarely enough to go around.

[DingoGirl]

My city puts on a festival every labor day weekend and this is the first year I noticed poutine... it was more popular than chicken on a stick. The friends I was with that night were absolutely horrified/intrigued by the phenom that is poutine.

Man, do I love the Midwest and our cuisine.

Hi Psummer! welcome to lunacy

OMG

you guys have made me want

POUTINE

more than anything

and I am simply going to DIE without getting it TOO-DAY

I mean, Geoss is right, what in the WORLD could be better than fries, gravy, and cheese?

hurts my heart to think about it (in an emotional sense, I don't care about the fat glut)

Is poutine gluten-free? I really want it.......you guys don't know how badly.

The only time I had "tampered with" fries was at the ballpark, everyone had been drooling over the garlic fries, so we got some at the baseball game one night. Blech!!! Most awful thing I've ever had and I luv garlic

WHOT????

OMG - I could eat good garlic fries (they had these, how you say Firecracker Fries at this restaurant in Monterey I frequented often that were TO DIE FOR - loaded w/ fresh garlic) ALL DAY LONG......and then all day the next day......and after that.......

Got now't done today ..... am trapped ... reading the' Twilight' books by Stephanie Meyer, I am on book #2

Suitcases lay FULL, untouched....... dishwasher exploding!, ...can barely move for unopened mail....but I've committed to this marathon and must see it through!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

x 25

this makes me larph.......yes luv, just let the squalor build whilst you pine over Edward wiv your Tiger Pig!

I must eat this POUTINE- with gluten-free gravy. Anything with potatoes, gravy and cheese (and lots of SALT) sounds good to me! Must one be pregnant to eat it 4 times a week? Actually if I ate it 4 times a week I would LOOK pregnant!!!!!!!!!!!

BRING IT ON!!!!!!!!!!!!!

gads, I agree!!!!!!!!!!!!

I want poutine *sniff*

I canna stand it.....it is very shrewdly set up so that you head in, turn many corners through a labyrinth of couches, then halogen lamps, BIKKART mirrors, SLOGENN bunk beds, through potted plants and closet organizers, can't take a shortcut, canna turn around, and all I need is a bloody wooden spoon!

OMG this is the perfect description if I ever heard one. Only went to Ikea once, after a three-hour drive, then an all-day wholesale gem/bead show......then onto Ikea. We were in there for hours....I got home at midnight........thought I needed to be carried out in a stretcher from that evil store.......was in post-traumatic stress, I think :bilnk: Have never been back -

store is too fab and I is too po'

That reminds me of George Costanza on Seinfield! The one where he breaks up with the woman because she is wearing flip flops and one toe goes over the edge of the flip flop...

aaaaaaaand we have another Seinfeld watcher here, pholks - poifect!! but - why don't I remember that episode? Have seen them all at least five times - I thought?

Amylase- He was small, but he was good!

OMG - she called her Amylase

Ranger - you is de nuttiest writer we have ever had, in all - how many pages do we gots now?

Well, my DD finaly took me out to lunch yesterday. It had to be someplace special, as it was not her b-day, nor was it mine but I could tell the minute we walked in it was special and promised to be a culinary oddisey. Fist of all, ther was not 1, but SEVEN different renditions of Elvis on black velvet, all in ornately moldy frames. They waere entertwined with gleamin peices of fishing tackle, and recently used meat-hooks. The waiters all looked forene (actually, didn't look human), but were exquisitively gowned in a beautiful phloral oil-cloth material. We were escorted by the Bain Marie to a table near the Gents room, that didn't have a door. But, all the citronella candles aroud the room masked the smell, and kept the hundreds of bugs at bay.

In came the phaux silver food cart, amidst a drum-roll by little hairless children all enrobed in an ugly cardigan sweater. This place went all out- no fake phaux silver for us, it was the real thing!My sweat glands were rolling and pounding in gustutory delight. First, they put out a pile of Pomme Frits, glistening in thier combination of unknown vege oil and rancid meat-drippins. Then, a globular mound of meat fat and phlour, topped off with a veneer of cassien and more animal fat! And I knew that it was the Frech-Cananadien dish, Putang! Thank God for the bambulance in the parking lot.

piss I think they stole this dish from my beloved homeland, Rusha

Sihgned: Comrad Slutvana Ilya Whoreowitz

*snooooort* see my previous quote........quite the imagination, Slutvana Whoeowitz :lol:

part deux - sex with chickens - coming up

[DingoGirl]

and part deux

Jan'it's back!!!!!!!!!!!!!! missed you.......so sorry you're dealing with depressing, necessary things......how is your dad doing? Sendin' a C D your way, I am (when I figger out the songs and make it and get to the post office)

and one for Emmel, too

(got the glitches worked out w/ C D burner and Itunes, I *think*)

Wait! This should read, Do chickens have penii?

No, wait! Do civckebs have penii?

I didn't even know how eggs came out, and what they really were, until two months ago. A friend in Carmel Valley has civkebs, and I said, what in hell IS the egg, how often do they come out, why are they THERE?

and she 'splained to me that they are like OUR eggs - unfertilized, that come out every months.

Geoss, do chickens lay eggs only once a month?

Of course chickens don't have PenII. They are female. Roosters must have penusess because if you have chk they will lay eggs without a rooster, but they will lay fertilized eggs with a rooster, so they must have coitus. As must we all, if we want fertilized eggs. I have no eggs, so I can safely have sex with any rooster if I can find One willing. All I'd have to worry about would RSTD's. I used to raise ckickens in my hippy-dippy organic farm days. Never thaught about doing it with one, though. Could I be the definition of a "dirty old lady".

Ever-Evolveing

:lol: dear gawd

Um, pholks, I have the ugliest feet in the world. Constantly rasping, scraping, sandblasting the skin off.......toenails are not long enough, and some are shaped like footballs, or lemons......big toe is too fat and short, I think....want to have toe elongation surgery, do you think they'll do it for me?

No one has actually ever TOLD me they are ugly, but I despise them

When I was growing up, and all of us running around barefoot, we thought *everyone* had feet like ours. We all had the same shape.....2nd toe longest, the rest making a nice curve down to the pinkie-toe. THEN!......My oldest brother got married....and this girl had SQUARE FEET!!!!! . It was hilarious to us back then (well....you gotta figger...us farm kids were easily amused in our unworldly way). Took a while to realize that ..... perhaps..... we were a minority! There were all sorts of shapes for feet. BTW....can you pick things up with your toes? Comes in kinda handy <:smirkface:> I still think that feet shaped like ours are normal...others are not!

we call those Fred Flintstone feet.....I have a friend who has them....big, chunky, wide, square feet.

Wait! Hens are female. .. ........chickens include both hens and roosters, so can be either sex. And I assume that they both cross the road, but the rooster NEVER asks fer directions.

*snort*

and - do they go both ways?

Feeling better today, first time in weeks......skipped lexapro today I think it's actually making me feel much, much worse

[ranger]

Wait! Hens are female. .. ........chickens include both hens and roosters, so can be either sex. And I assume that they both cross the road, but the rooster NEVER asks fer directions.

You would likely need to RSVP for those RSTDs.....rarely enough to go around.

Finally got my ckn hen rooster thing straight. And I raised the things! Shame on me!

The rooster never asks directions! So true.

[ranger]

Swoosie- Am I to understand that you are an artist currently not arting? Or did I get sumptin wrong, which I oft do?

Sloozy

[Jestgar]

When I was growing up, and all of us running around barefoot, we thought *everyone* had feet like ours. We all had the same shape.....2nd toe longest, the rest making a nice curve down to the pinkie-toe. THEN!......My oldest brother got married....and this girl had SQUARE FEET!!!!! .

My sister has those. My SIL calls them hooves...

[DingoGirl]

Swoosie- Am I to understand that you are an artist currently not arting? Or did I get sumptin wrong, which I oft do?

Sloozy

Yes, Sloozy, you are correct. I am a non-producing painter (I NEVER call myself an artist).

whot is WRONG with me? why don't I paint??? EVERYONE asks me this. Wait - no - that's not true - they quit askin' a couple of years ago.

*sigh*

signed,

Lazy Old Slag

[ranger]

Yes, Sloozy, you are correct. I am a non-producing painter (I NEVER call myself an artist).

whot is WRONG with me? why don't I paint??? EVERYONE asks me this. Wait - no - that's not true - they quit askin' a couple of years ago.

*sigh*

signed,

Lazy Old Slag

What is wrong with both the Susan's I, too am as you. Have an art desk setup (for 3 years,now). Have paint, brushes, paper that my daughter gave me for my b-day 1 1/2 years ago. It all has a crock-pot sitting on it! We need art therapy! Maybe the sillys can kick our collective ass and make us do it. Doubt it.

[summerteeth]

aaaaaaaand we have another Seinfeld watcher here, pholks - poifect!! but - why don't I remember that episode? Have seen them all at least five times - I thought?

p

It was the "Coup de toe" episode (I don't know if that was what it is called - but I remember that phrase). Anyway, George is talking about how the second toe outgrows the big toe and becomes captain of the foot. I think it was earlier on in the show's run, if I remember correctly...

[DingoGirl]

What is wrong with both the Susan's I, too am as you. Have an art desk setup (for 3 years,now). Have paint, brushes, paper that my daughter gave me for my b-day 1 1/2 years ago. It all has a crock-pot sitting on it! We need art therapy! Maybe the sillys can kick our collective ass and make us do it. Doubt it.

Been painting since the early 80's.....used to sell tons of paintings....what in hell is wrong with me? I set up a studio in this house (moved here four years ago) and....

I know what it is.

Painting is just too hard. (um, it was easier when I was manic all those years, and fueled by some crazy brain chemistry )

I'd rather just...........goof off.

going to get my crockpot out now and put it on my "painting" table.