The Funny Pages - Tickle Me Elbow - The Original

[elye]

Um, Jack is insisting on the truth of this fact, but I fail to see how anyone could know, or prove, this.. ...... . ..

A zebra is white with black stripes. They are NOT black with white stripes.

How do they know??

Who are THEY, anyways?

[Lisa]

I deduct...black with white stripes. They have black noses, where they have no stripes and black interior ears, and private parts (I assume )

[Darn210]

I deduct...black with white stripes. They have black noses, where they have no stripes and black interior ears, and private parts (I assume )

Ummmmm . . . who is going to volunteer to go googling to see what colour a zebra's private parts are???

[Lisa]

Mmmmm . . . who is going to volunteer to go googling to see what colour a zebra's private parts are???

Open Original Shared Link

A stripped private part would be too scary for Zebra girls.

[jerseyangel]

Open Original Shared Link

A stripped private part would be too scary for Zebra girls.

Well there ya have it!

[elye]

Open Original Shared Link

A stripped private part would be too scary for Zebra girls.

Well, maybe zebra girls.... . .. .. . ..but what about us human girls? Kind of interesting. . . . ..... .....

Y'know, it's always so ho-hum, same ol', same ol'.... . . ...

But wow..... .. . . striped?

.....Might wanna put THAT on my roof, fo sho..... .. . . .....

[Jestgar]

But wow..... .. . . striped?

I'm sure you could find something Open Original Shared Link

[DingoGirl]

I'm sure you could find something Open Original Shared Link

:lol:

are those gluten-free? Those flavoUred ones?

stripes I once had striped poo poo, for three or four years

I"m sure many can relate

Never got my nap today, Sills! Gail came over......phone calls all day....reading all kinds of things (computer and otherwise)

Weez, on the other hand, slept all day and is just, this evening, hangin' around for treats. All is normal with the world

'night Sills, we is all heading to bed EARLY fer readin' _{and watchin' stupid stuff on TV}

OMG! Got my blood work today......reveals anemia on SO many levels...WHAT IN HELL???

thought my ferritin would be MUCH HIGHER after all this time!! 'tis nowhere near normal range

very low vitamin D.....low thyroid, but "low normal".....have been feeling rather well, cooler weather causes this, _{and amelioration of bad habits}...will see what the doc says

Judith's in Nebraska!! How is that Velcro doing? Skit wants to know Glad she's having FUN!!

[elye]

Mornin', Psills!

Wow, Soooozle.....no WONDER you've been so wiped! Low D, iron, thyroid.... . .....a veritable recipe for physical and mental exhaustion. How come you're so malabsorptive? Yer gluten-free! Methinks the Armour would help considerably. And perhaps Eltroxin... . ...?.. . ..

Thinking of Jooooodie and her wondrous cross-country road trip. .....

Gad... . ..I'm afraid I canna stop thinking, as well, about striped penii.... . .. ...

And Soooozle! Striped POOP??! Jeez, now I will be picturing this all day.... ......

[jerseyangel]

Mornin all

Wow Suz--the anemia Agreed that it may explain a lot of things. Are you supplementing?

Velcro has turned out to be a "model" traveler Tell Skit that he is fine and seems to be enjoying the trip.

Striped appendages

[nikki-uk]

OMG! Got my blood work today......reveals anemia on SO many levels...WHAT IN HELL???

thought my ferritin would be MUCH HIGHER after all this time!! 'tis nowhere near normal range

very low vitamin D.....low thyroid, but "low normal".....have been feeling rather well, cooler weather causes this, _{and amelioration of bad habits}...will see what the doc says

WIH????

Why ain't you absorbing??

Stripey poo crime (aka neopolitan)

[celiac-mommy]

This is not starting out well. Preface-dh had big trade show all week, was in meetings every night this week. He's supposed to go to a big fundraiser/dinner tonight (by himself because I have to work). I pulled a 12 yesterday and again today at the hospital and was looking fwd to a nice quiet evening alone, go to bed early, all that stuff. Anywho, I get a text late yesterday afternoon from him saying his boss bought both of our tickets to the dinner so I have to go because they were 100$ per ticket and he's expecting me to be there AND by the way, you need to find a babysitter.....

Find a babysitter with less than 24hrs notice for a Saturday night-'yeah right' I was hoping would be my excuse, but dammit, she was available

I had already made a date with Sven and Edward for last night (because Edward makes me forget about the evil Sven ) so I get home at 7, get kids ready for bed, meet Sven at 8 (because you don't stand Sven and Edward up-well, mostly Edward ), he holds me captive till 9, MEANWHILE, I am texting dh (and at this point "d" does NOT stand for darling!!) about the dress code for the fundraiser and he doesn't get back to me. Finally at 9 he calls and says he asked some gal, and she told him there would be everything from nice jeans to sparkly gowns, so as long as I don't wear something overtly sexy, I should be fine.........Right, because this conservative, PTA presidential mother of 2 has nothing BUT overtly sexy clothes in my closet-oh what shall I do.......

So now I have to spend from 9-11 showering, shaving, waxing, exfoliating, shampooing, conditioning, drying (and 1/2 way thru drying hair I realized I forgot my frizz/straightening serum so I had to wet my hair down again-grrrrrrr), searching for clothes, ironing (clothes and hair), tanning, painting-and by this time I was so tired (been up since 430am) I didn't have the patience to remove the red chipped polish from my toes, so I painted the 2 toes on each foot that would be peeping from my peep toes black to cover up the red and I had to sleep with my feet out of the covers so as not to mess up the polish Just to get up at 430 again, to make sure that hair is ironed perfectly in place, makeup is perfect, clothes are perfect plus the right bra, etc..... to pack so I can get ready AGAIN before I'm off work so I'm not too late for the dinner that I will probably miss anyway.

I'm soooooooooooo tired and it's not even 10am. I need a stiff drink and a good arse whoopin for the hubby!!!

I hope all of you have a most relaxing weekend, give all your beh-behs hugs and kisses for me since I haven't seen my kids for more than an hour in the last 48 hours!!

This was more angry than psilly wasn't it

[nikki-uk]

This was more angry than psilly wasn't it

BAHHHH Rachelle!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

{{{hugs}}}}} to YOU lady!!!...You are a super Mum and you'll be phine sweetheart

_{<I just loved that WHOLE post ♥>}

i had already made a date with Sven and Edward for last night (because Edward makes me forget about the evil Sven )

OMG!!!! YOU TOO?!?!?!

I think about Edward the WHOLE time I'm with Sven

meet Sven at 8 (because you don't stand Sven and Edward up-well, mostly Edward ), he holds me captive till 9

Sometimes I wish I could stand Sven up and Edward would hold me captive

Wait! ... did I say that OUT LOUD?

*snort* Does that make me cougar-esque???

So now I have to spend from 9-11 showering, shaving, waxing, exfoliating, shampooing, conditioning, drying (and 1/2 way thru drying hair I realized I forgot my frizz/straightening serum so I had to wet my hair down again-grrrrrrr)

OMGaaawd

The FULL shave (including big toes) and de-FRIZZING alone is a full days work!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WIH was yer hubby thinking?!?!

Me thinks he must be relegated to 'the doghouse with no extras'

[psawyer]

This was more angry than psilly wasn't it

You can always come here to vent.

[celiac-mommy]

Sometimes I wish I could stand Sven up and Edward would hold me captive

Wait! ... did I say that OUT LOUD?

*snort*

It goes with or without saying. A daily wish o-mine!!

Me thinks he must be relegated to 'the doghouse with no extras'

Yeah and I'll bet you anything he's thinking-she's showered, she's bald and and she's only wearing sumphin a little sexy-I'm gonna be gettin some tonight--Unless there's a barrel of vodka at this joint (ooooh, that sounds good too ), he won't be getting nothing but the sofa and his shake-weight!!

[Jestgar]

This was more angry than psilly wasn't it

I thought it was hysterical...especially the two toe painting.

Perhaps we should all get one of Open Original Shared Link to protect ourselves.

[jerseyangel]

This is not starting out well.

Holy Toledo Rah-shell You is a real trooper!

de-FRIZZING alone is a full days work!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

True dis!

You can always come here to vent.

And dat!

[celiac-mommy]

Perhaps we should all get one of Open Original Shared Link to protect ourselves.

WTF??

[Jestgar]

Open Original Shared Link

drunk driver reports self

[Mtndog]

Geoss is on a roll!!!!!!!

A stripped private part would be too scary for Zebra girls.

I would imagine so given the size and striping!!!!!!!!!!!

Well, maybe zebra girls.... . .. .. . ..but what about us human girls? Kind of interesting. .

You want to see a zebra appendage There's a veritable buttload we don't know about our seemingly reserved Emily

Wow, Soooozle.....no WONDER you've been so wiped! Low D, iron, thyroid.... . .....a veritable recipe for physical and mental exhaustion. How come you're so malabsorptive? Yer gluten-free! Methinks the Armour would help considerably. And perhaps Eltroxin... . ...?.. . ..

Oh Suzzle- no wonder you're SO pooped! Yikes! We must get you iron infusions and thyroid meds and vitamins and.......

Yeah and I'll bet you anything he's thinking-she's showered, she's bald and and she's only wearing sumphin a little sexy-I'm gonna be gettin some tonight--Unless there's a barrel of vodka at this joint (ooooh, that sounds good too ), he won't be getting nothing but the sofa and his shake-weight!!

Rachel- My gosh! You are A Super Woman! Methinks if you are to have the time of yer life, your DH (darn husband) is gonna need ONE OF THESE!

Someone is getting one of those for Christmas along with the super shaker (my brother-in-law seems to be a likely candidate since every time he looks at his wife she gets pregger!

[elye]

he won't be getting nothing but the sofa and his shake-weight!!

Rashyelle! What maintenance! I'll bet you look spectacular!

And lord, do I want one o' those Coca-Cola machine dresses..... . . ...

[DingoGirl]

SILLS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Phirst of all, am CRACKING UP over Ray-shelle's whole post....highly empathizing and feelin' yer rage, lady

But 'twere so phunny.....and can SOOOOOOOOO relate, yer hubby CLEARLY has no idea of the TRAUMA involved with a posh evening out

and...

neapolitan poo

the SODA MACHINE DRESS phunniest thing ever.....

and OH EMM GEE, Sills...........

today is CARPET SHAMPOOING day

completely egreeeeeeeeeegious, but almost done.....but left alone w/ Dingo Thoughts for many hours now no al-kee-haul in the house, facing this STONE COLD SOBER.

taking phrequent breaks.....but dying of boredom.........

first load of water that came out of the main walking area was - I kid you not - EBONY

:gag: :puke: :vomit:

Nearly done, must get to it and take this contraption back to store.

BTW, I went and got it at 9:00 at night on Thursday, the day of Chocolate Death Debacle. I had not eaten since around noon......was in dirty (dog hair, light vomit spatters) sweats, makeup had worn off, hair a mess, generally just slovenly and disheveled......had the air of grief and anxiety and trauma about me.....and in this state, rented a carpet cleaner LATE AT NIGHT.....who in hell rents a carpet shampooer at NIGHT?

I was QUITE CERTAIN they KNEW I was a murderess, cleaning massive blood stains off the carpet where the killing(s) had occurred.....so then I began 'splaining that my dog had eaten so much chocolate and thrown up everywhere.....and I"d been at the vet for hours and....blah blah blah.....

so now they think I"m a murderess, and an ill-kempt crazy lady.

more later, sills!

[Jestgar]

BTW, I went and got it at 9:00 at night on Thursday, the day of Chocolate Death Debacle. I had not eaten since around noon......was in dirty (dog hair, light vomit spatters) sweats, makeup had worn off, hair a mess, generally just slovenly and disheveled......had the air of grief and anxiety and trauma about me.....and in this state, rented a carpet cleaner LATE AT NIGHT.....who in hell rents a carpet shampooer at NIGHT?

:lol: :lol:

[jerseyangel]

One time we had to rent a carpet shampoo'er at midnight.....we were living in Georgia and our house was sold. My eldest puked off the side of his bed and there was this gigantic orange-y stain all over the off-white carpeting. <gag>

I sent Mark up to the the Winn Dixie and at first they wouldn't rent it to him since the policy was not after 11PM er sumphin. Anywho, Mark spoke with the night manager and explained the circumstances and they let him rent one.

That was one long night.....

[celiac-mommy]

SILLS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I was QUITE CERTAIN they KNEW I was a murderess, cleaning massive blood stains off the carpet where the killing(s) had occurred.....so then I began 'splaining that my dog had eaten so much chocolate and thrown up everywhere.....and I"d been at the vet for hours and....blah blah blah.....

so now they think I"m a murderess, and an ill-kempt crazy lady.

more later, sills!

For certain they will be going all CSI when you bring the shampooer back, they're all just waitin fir ya with them thar black lights thinkin they'll solve themselves a crime lookin for blood in your shampooer

2.5 more hours before I finish the prep work I started That's why I love fall/winter-no more shorts and skirts without leggings, been married for 11 years so there's really no need to be shaving my legs!!!!! Damm him!!!