Jump to content
  • Welcome to Celiac.com!

    You have found your celiac tribe! Join us and ask questions in our forum, share your story, and connect with others.




  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A1):



    Celiac.com Sponsor (A1-M):


  • Get Celiac.com Updates:
    Support Our Content
    eNewsletter
    Donate

The Funny Pages - Tickle Me Elbow - The Original


TriticusToxicum

Recommended Posts

kareng Grand Master

Returning to being psilly (and I hope I don't offend anyone or get kicked out of my dear psilly thread) Clark and I bought Tony some rather disturbing gifts for Christmas (it's the what do you buy the boy who only wants money). We bought him an "Enormex Condem" (he's still a virgin but always talks about how large he is). We've always been open talking about sex so we thought he'd find it phunny. The back of the package says"to ensure maximum protection from conception this product has been rigorously tested on an African bull elephant before being rinsed out and re-rolled and packaged." Novelty item only. He also asked for a Jesus Action Figure. There are at least 6 on Amazon. Better than a Sarah Palin Bobble Head. The Beatles poster and X-box games we bought him are tame.

Hugs from a blushing Loey who better get down to wrapping gifts before my computer goes all whacky n me again.

Loey

My boys would be mortified. Here's a present my son wants. Would be good for college living. He wants some noise eliminating/ canceling head phones to plug into his iPod. Looks like good ones can be had in the $70-80 range up to the Bose ones for $300. I think if it cancells 87% of the background noise for $70 that's pretty good.


Celiac.com Sponsor (A8):
Celiac.com Sponsor (A8):



Celiac.com Sponsor (A8-M):



  • Replies 51k
  • Created
  • Last Reply
mushroom Proficient

Hey! Which one??

This one:

kareng Grand Master

This one:

Muffin-Head, his cat, must have mixed his drinks too strong! :D

Jestgar Rising Star

We bought him an "Enormex Condem" (he's still a virgin but always talks about how large he is). We've always been open talking about sex so we thought he'd find it phunny.

I find this whole concept of openness about sex highly entertaining, coming from a repressed family myself. BE told me last night that his SIL asked him once at a family dinner if he and his previous-long-term-girlfriend had good sex. I just stared at him. "she ASKED you???" In my family we pretend that the whole silly business doesn't exist.

Loey Rising Star

My boys would be mortified. Here's a present my son wants. Would be good for college living. He wants some noise eliminating/ canceling head phones to plug into his iPod. Looks like good ones can be had in the $70-80 range up to the Bose ones for $300. I think if it cancells 87% of the background noise for $70 that's pretty good.

Sounds like a practical gift. He's already in college, right?

Hopefully I didn't mortify you. Tony has always been very open around us. When he was little he asked me if his "pee pee was larger than his dad's" Must be the Spaniard in him.

I just spent two hours wrapping gifts after tutoring my little girl. She's the sweetest thing ever and I really hope I can help her. I'm basically starting her on a kindergarten level for reading even though she would d be in third grade of she wasn't home schooled. I'm getting to use all of the resources I've bought over the last 6 years.

Loey

Loey Rising Star

I find this whole concept of openness about sex highly entertaining, coming from a repressed family myself. BE told me last night that his SIL asked him once at a family dinner if he and his previous-long-term-girlfriend had good sex. I just stared at him. "she ASKED you???" In my family we pretend that the whole silly business doesn't exist.

My mother told me she enjoyed sex. That was when I was in college. She just told me to be safe. Tony has told us on numerous occasions that he could have had sex by now but that's not what he's looking for. He wants something more meaningful. He's never had a girlfriend or been kissed (although he's had girls he liked).

For the past week every night I've had a dream that he has a girlfriend (one took over my kitchen but she cooked gluten-free so I wasn't annoyed in the dream). I wonder if that means anything. His best friend at school is a girl and even though he's done with finals he wants t stay on campus as long as he can. She's from Chicago. I'm going to give him $ for a train ticket to visit his friends in NJ but Chicago is out of the question. She'd be welcome to come up here before the semester starts.

I guess his SIL's family talked openly about sex. Clark gets a little embarrassed but he's the one who found the Enomex Condom. Go Figure!

Loey laugh.giflaugh.gif

elye Community Regular

She's the sweetest thing ever and I really hope I can help her. I'm getting to use all of the resources I've bought over the last 6 years.

Loey

Dear gawd, Low-eee...just don't use that Enormix Condom in any way.. . ..could one use it to help with reading?.. . .Must consider this. . . . . . ...

As a visual aid/puppet of some sort?. . . . .... . . ... . .

:lol:


Celiac.com Sponsor (A8):
Celiac.com Sponsor (A8):



Celiac.com Sponsor (A8-M):



nikki-uk Enthusiast

laugh.gif

Carry on!

Wait...what day is it?

Heavy weekend partying wacko.gif

In my family we pretend that the whole silly business doesn't exist.

We do this in my country wink.gif

elye Community Regular

Heavy weekend partying wacko.gif

YES! In yer much-touted purple glad rags.. . . . . . ....! B)

Loey Rising Star

Dear gawd, Low-eee...just don't use that Enormix Condom in any way.. . ..could one use it to help with reading?.. . .Must consider this. . . . . . ...

As a visual aid/puppet of some sort?. . . . .... . . ... . .

:lol:

It reminded me of a diaphragm when I first saw it. Have I scared our dear Pet-err and GFinDCee away???? I sure hope not! I did pfinish wrapping all of the presents. Then took a looong snooze.

Having Clark's pfriend (recommended the new GI) and wife over for dinner Saturday night. Will be cooking for IBS and Celiac. Thinking of make Chicken Paprikash with either rice or rice noodles. Any other suggestions?

Loey biggrin.gif

Jestgar Rising Star

Having Clark's pfriend (recommended the new GI) and wife over for dinner Saturday night. Will be cooking for IBS and Celiac.

Imagining the dinner conversation. :blink::ph34r: :ph34r: :ph34r:

GFinDC Veteran

:lol: :lol:

Gee Eff in Dee Cee is fergettin' hisself over on anuvver thread and being all psillie. Hope he doesn't scare the pholks :o

See, that's what happens when I try to tell the Gosh honest trooth around hair. Da bar wuz thar, but he didn't et us. Happy ending to the story no? I am just too open and honust a pursein for this gruup, it seams. :huh:;):D:P

Muffin-Head, his cat, must have mixed his drinks too strong! :D

Hmm, Muffin-head is a good target to blame, I do agree with that. Psillie meow-hed! She alweez has a lot meows in her. And they leak out a lot.

Oh, I wusn't scaret aweigh, except by the thot of M-Lee's new bruiser boyfriend getting pissed at me for not winning her prized monkey skull photo in the art auction. We did purty good until it got to $200 huneredt dullarz M-Lee, then I dropped out and melted away from the bidding. Sorry! :( I did get some other art though and some great prices too. The auction was well attended by artists, with very few non-artists there to buy things. So it was basically artists bidding against other artists for art. So the prices stayed pretty low, as people were generally not bidding things up. But I got some great deals from it. I got a few pieces from other local artists I know and that always makes them more fun to have. Another artist bought one of my abstract encaustics, so that was nice. Not a bad nite at all. Hey, did yu all know they usually have free wine at these things? hick urp. :D:blink::ph34r:

Hmm, I needs to pick Poeter's brain about gluten free cat treats the Muffin-hed can eat. She is gluten-free except her treats have barley malt in them. And she really, really likes her treats promptly at 5:00 PM every day. Or the Meowing ensues loudly.

And by the weigh, big snooze. I got a new MS keyboard for my puter, so I can type widout making sew many meatsteaks. My uld un the kleys wood stick down sometimes. No gud, nope, no gud.

kareng Grand Master

Hmm, Muffin-head is a good target to blame, I do agree with that. Psillie meow-hed! She alweez has a lot meows in her. And they leak out a lot.

And by the weigh, big snooze. I got a new MS keyboard for my puter, so I can type widout making sew many meatsteaks. My uld un the kleys wood stick down sometimes. No gud, nope, no gud.

So you're blaming the old keyboard, too.

Darn210 Enthusiast

I know Treasure Island! We bought our 10 phoot artificial tree there a bunch of years ago that hasn't phit in any house since. <_< Don't recall seeing penile decorations at the time :unsure: ....shoulda looked harder :P hee! 'harder' B)

Patti larphing at her own jokes . . . makes me giggle.

Mornin' pholks,

I've got a week and a half to get this Christmas thing together . . . I'm in deep doodoo. :ph34r:

So Jess, what was the verdict from BE's daughter . . . inquiring minds want to know.

Jestgar Rising Star

He said she no longer comments on the women he dates and he's not even sure she'd tell him if she thought I was terrible. But I liked her a lot, so I figure that's a good sign.

kareng Grand Master

I've got a week and a half to get this Christmas thing together . . . I'm in deep doodoo. :ph34r:

Me too! The doodoo is pilling up here!

So instead:

A Christmas Gift

A guy bought his wife a beautiful diamond ring for Christmas.

After hearing about this extravagant gift, a friend of his said, "I thought she wanted one of those sporty four-wheel-drive vehicles."

"She did," he replied. "But where was I going to find a fake Jeep?"

Loey Rising Star

Imagining the dinner conversation. :blink::ph34r: :ph34r: :ph34r:

Thanks Jesee. Right now I've spoken to him and pot roast seems like a fair bet but I need a dessert and appetizer. He can have olive oil. Don't know if chick peas are a legume so I'll have it for m Clark and his wife.

You guys are the best!!!!

Loey wub.gifwub.gif

Loey Rising Star

Dear gawd, Low-eee...just don't use that Enormix Condom in any way.. . ..could one use it to help with reading?.. . .Must consider this. . . . . . ...

As a visual aid/puppet of some sort?. . . . .... . . ... . .

:lol:

It would fit on my entire hand. They're very religious so it definitely wouldn't go over well.

Loey

Loey Rising Star

He said she no longer comments on the women he dates and he's not even sure she'd tell him if she thought I was terrible. But I liked her a lot, so I figure that's a good sign.

I repeat: How can she not love our dear sweet Jesse?

Loey wub.gifwub.gif

Loey Rising Star

Me too! The doodoo is pilling up here!

So instead:

A Christmas Gift

A guy bought his wife a beautiful diamond ring for Christmas.

After hearing about this extravagant gift, a friend of his said, "I thought she wanted one of those sporty four-wheel-drive vehicles."

"She did," he replied. "But where was I going to find a fake Jeep?"

laugh.giflaugh.giflaugh.giflaugh.giflaugh.giflaugh.gif Loey

celiac-mommy Collaborator

Is everyone out Christmas shopping? It's very quiet and lonely here today. I'll be offline later as a friends coming over. Tomorrow we're buying our 19 year old toys. Missing my psillies!!!!

I was all day Saturday and yesterday. Done, Done, DONE!!!!! Actually, I was done last week, but my mom, sister, brother, grandma and auntie all went yesteray, so I tagged along :)

Sunday, I baked.....and baked.....and baked! Made ginger spice cookies, PB buckeyes, macadamia nut roca, orange slice cookies (ewwwww!), chocolate crinkles, peppermint choco fudge brownies, nutella filled pillow cookies, and hokey pokey that didn't turn out at all. Everone at work is in a sugar coma right now!

Show went well. BE showed up in my room at 2am. Apparently I'm very welcoming to "strangers" in the middle of the night. :ph34r: :ph34r: I probably should work on that. Anyway. He's coming to the show tonight with his dd. Should be fun. Today I'm going to work on cleaning my house and studying for my stupid final.

I had a dream like this once. Involved someone named 'Edward'...... <sigh> :P

The Skookumchuck is my favorite (to say, I'm not sure I've ever been there).

Phrequently driven over the Skookumchuck on my way to Seattle. Always makes me giggle at such a horrible name!

Yes. You will have to take notes. ;)

:lol:

Returning to being psilly (and I hope I don't offend anyone or get kicked out of my dear psilly thread) Clark and I bought Tony some rather disturbing gifts for Christmas

Hugs from a blushing Loey who better get down to wrapping gifts before my computer goes all whacky on me again for procrastinating .

Loey

:lol::lol: My son has the Jesus action figure 'with gliding motion' It's phabulous!!

We are also very open about sex. Yesterday Max was trying to think of words that started with each letter of the alphabet. He looked at me and smirked, "P is for penis!" He loves his penis :rolleyes::lol::lol:

I repeat: How can she not love our dear sweet Jesse?

Loey wub.gifwub.gif

Exactly! I think I may have scared Miss Jess when I threw my arms around her and hugged her before I said hello.... :P

nikki-uk Enthusiast

I was all day Saturday and yesterday. Done, Done, DONE!!!!!

Jealous, jealous, JEALOUS!!! dry.gif

I'm with Jyianne-eet (in deep doo doo methinks unsure.gif)

Tomorrow eh?

I had a dream like this once. Involved someone named 'Edward'...... <sigh> :P

Oh yeah....I had that dream too cool.gif

Exactly! I think I may have scared Miss Jess when I threw my arms around her and hugged her before I said hello.... :P

SNNAAAP!!!!

To be phair, I think she's getting used to random international psills doing that tho' wink.gif

GADS, yooz peeps sound highly organised.

I am not.

Have a blasted 'parents day' school event for my youngest son tomorrow for 3 HOURS blink.gif- cutting into me shopping BIG TIME rolleyes.gif

Darn210 Enthusiast

Well, I made a little progress today. Kids are pretty much done. It's the adults that don't need anything that I'm having problems with . . . my Dad, my FIL, my step-MIL, and my MIL . . . and since they're "big" kids, if I don't get it done by Christmas, nobody will be crying. So now I guess I'm no longer in deep doodoo . . . perhaps I'm in shallow doodoo.

Darn210 Enthusiast

Have a blasted 'parents day' school event for my youngest son tomorrow for 3 HOURS blink.gif- cutting into me shopping BIG TIME rolleyes.gif

I hear ya, sister!!

celiac-mommy Collaborator

Have a blasted 'parents day' school event for my youngest son tomorrow for 3 HOURS blink.gif- cutting into me shopping BIG TIME rolleyes.gif

The kids' Christmas program is Thursday night. The school thought they'd be 'helpful' this year and break it into 2 programs so people wouldn't have to be there as long. K-2 is from 5-615pm and 3-5th grades are from 645-8pm. I have a kindergartner and 4th grader so we'll be there the whoooooooole time :blink:

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.


  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A19):



  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      131,960
    • Most Online (within 30 mins)
      7,748

    Noa
    Newest Member
    Noa
    Joined

  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A20):


  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      121.5k
    • Total Posts
      1m

  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A22):





  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A21):



  • Who's Online (See full list)

  • Upcoming Events

  • Posts

    • Scott Adams
      If black seed oil is working for his Afib, stick to it, but if not, I can say that ablation therapy is no big deal--my mother was out of the procedure in about 1 hour and went home that evening, and had zero negative effects from the treatment. PS - I would recommend that your husband get an Apple watch to monitor his Afib--there is an app and it will take readings 24/7 and give reports on how much of the time he's in it. Actual data like this should be what should guide his treatment.
    • Jacki Espo
      This happened to me as well. What’s weirder is that within a couple hours of taking paxlovid it subsided. I thought maybe I got glutened but after reading your post not so sure. 
    • Mari
      Hi Tiffany. Thank you for writing your dituation and  circumstancesin such detail and so well writte, too. I particularly noticed what you wrote about brain for and feeling like your brain is swelling and I know from my own experiences that's how it feel and your brain really does swell and you get migraines.    Way back when I was in my 20s I read a book by 2 MD allergist and they described their patient who came in complaining that her brain, inside her cranium, was swelling  and it happened when she smelled a certain chemical she used in her home. She kept coming back and insisting her brain actually swelled in her head. The Drs couldn't explain this problem so they, with her permission, performed an operation where they made a small opening through her cranium, exposed her to the chemical then watched as she brain did swell into the opening. The DRs were amazed but then were able to advise her to avoid chemicals that made her brain swell. I remember that because I occasionally had brain fog then but it was not a serious problem. I also realized that I was becoming more sensitive to chemicals I used in my work in medical laboratories. By my mid forties the brain fog and chemicals forced me to leave my  profession and move to a rural area with little pollution. I did not have migraines. I was told a little later that I had a more porous blood brain barrier than other people. Chemicals in the air would go up into my sinused and leak through the blood brain barrier into my brain. We have 2 arteries  in our neck that carry blood with the nutrients and oxygen into the brain. To remove the fluids and used blood from the brain there are only capillaries and no large veins to carry it away so all those fluids ooze out much more slowly than they came in and since the small capillaries can't take care of extra fluid it results in swelling in the face, especially around the eyes. My blood flow into my brain is different from most other people as I have an arterial ischema, adefectiveartery on one side.   I have to go forward about 20 or more years when I learned that I had glaucoma, an eye problem that causes blindness and more years until I learned I had celiac disease.  The eye Dr described my glaucoma as a very slow loss of vision that I wouldn't  notice until had noticeable loss of sight.  I could have my eye pressure checked regularly or it would be best to have the cataracts removed from both eyes. I kept putting off the surgery then just overnight lost most of the vision in my left eye. I thought at the I had been exposed to some chemical and found out a little later the person who livedbehind me was using some chemicals to build kayaks in a shed behind my house. I did not realize the signifance  of this until I started having appointments with a Dr. in a new building. New buildings give me brain fog, loss of balance and other problems I know about this time I experienced visual disturbances very similar to those experienced by people with migraines. I looked further online and read that people with glaucoma can suffer rapid loss of sight if they have silent migraines (no headache). The remedy for migraines is to identify and avoid the triggers. I already know most of my triggers - aromatic chemicals, some cleaning materials, gasoline and exhaust and mold toxins. I am very careful about using cleaning agents using mostly borax and baking powder. Anything that has any fragrance or smell I avoid. There is one brand of dishwashing detergent that I can use and several brands of  scouring powder. I hope you find some of this helpful and useful. I have not seen any evidence that Celiac Disease is involved with migraines or glaucoma. Please come back if you have questions or if what I wrote doesn't make senseto you. We sometimes haveto learn by experience and finding out why we have some problems. Take care.       The report did not mention migraines. 
    • Mari
      Hi Jmartes71 That is so much like my story! You probably know where Laytonville is and that's where I was living just before my 60th birthday when the new Dr. suggested I could have Celiacs. I didn't go on a gluten challange diet before having the Celiac panel blood test drawn. The results came back as equivical as one antibody level was very high but another, tissue transaminasewas normal. Itdid show I was  allergic to cows milk and I think hot peppers. I immediately went gluten free but did not go in for an endoscopy. I found an online lab online that would do the test to show if I had a main celiac gene (enterolab.com). The report came back that I had inherited a main celiac gene, DQ8, from one parent and a D!6 from the other parent. That combination is knows to sym[tons of celiac worse than just inheriting one main celiac gene. With my version of celiac disease I was mostly constipated but after going gluten-free I would have diarrhea the few times I was glutened either by cross contamination or eating some food containing gluten. I have stayed gluten-free for almost 20 years now and knew within a few days that it was right for me although my recovery has been slow.   When I go to see a  medical provide and tell them I have celiacs they don't believe me. The same when I tell them that I carry a main celiac gene, the DQ8. It is only when I tell them that I get diarrhea after eating gluten that they realize that I might have celiac disease. Then they will order th Vitamin B12 and D3 that I need to monitor as my B12 levels can go down very fast if I'm not taking enough of it. Medical providers haven't been much help in my recovery. They are not well trained in this problem. I really hope this helps ypu. Take care.      
    • knitty kitty
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

NOTICE: This site places This site places cookies on your device (Cookie settings). on your device. Continued use is acceptance of our Terms of Use, and Privacy Policy.