The Funny Pages - Tickle Me Elbow - The Original

[sb2178]

ooo, i want to see HP. How was it?

[kareng]

We saw HP in 3D. Very good! We all - 15, 18 & slightly older - loved it! It was happy & sad & you felt so proud of those kids. I could see my kids standing with Harry.

At the end they show them 19 years later. J said he hoped his wife looked like that at 38. He thought if he could find a 38 year old lady that looked that good now, he might go for it!

[Jestgar]

After Mulberry's attack I started reading the BackYardChicken forum, going through all the 'emergencies' so I'll know what to be prepared for. So this evening the big girls are out in the yard for the evening and they come up on the deck to stare in the glass door. I'm kinda watching them, kinda reading the BYC forum when I realize the Delaware is doing this weird bouncy thing. I watch her carefully, trying to figure out, is she panting? Is she in pain? What's happening? When all of a sudden an egg shoots out her butt and lands on the deck. :lol: Guess I better stop reading that forum for a while...

[kareng]

LOL! I thought they are supposed to "lay" eggs not squirt them out!

[Jestgar]

LOL! I thought they are supposed to "lay" eggs not squirt them out!

:lol: It was pretty surprising. Not the 'gentle deposit' I thought was happening.

[kareng]

Make sure the chicks aren't reading over your shoulder, this will scare them. M is working this week & next at an Outdoor education day camp. They came in today and the largest boa was missing from his cage in the little building. M said, " no biggie. I got him from behind some cages."

[elye]

When all of a sudden an egg shoots out her butt and lands on the deck. :lol:

Man, if only WE gave birth that way... .. . ...standing, bobbing up and down, controlled and calm....no stirrups.........I may have had a couple more....

Jess said "gentle deposit" :lol:

M is working this week & next at an Outdoor education day camp. They came in today and the largest boa was missing from his cage in the little building. M said, " no biggie. I got him from behind some cages."

Dear gawd. . .... .good for him. DD is also working outdoors this summer, as a public pool attendant/lifeguard. No boa constrictors, as yet......but some fairly nutty kids that might rival a boa...

She quit Wallyworld two weeks ago, as they would not ever let her take seven days off in a row during the summer.

She will miss the POWs, for certain.. .. . . the feathers, the ink-running-up-the-legs-and-down-the arms-and-across-the-chest, the are-those-boobs-coming-outta-his-back?, the toothless, but sincere, grins.. . . . ...

[kareng]

My cousin-in-law posted this on facebook. I believe it explains alot.

WARNING! As I was washing my hair today, I actually read my shampoo bottle-I am in shock!! The shampoo I use, that runs down my entire body says "for extra volume & body"

OMG! Now I understand why I'm so "full-figured"!

Tomorrow I am going to start using Dawn dish-washing liquid. It says on the label "dissolves fat that is otherwise difficult to remove"

It pays to read the warning labels lol

[GlutenFreeManna]

At the rate of posting on this thread, I am settling in for a good long reign. I am thinking about taxing the peasants.

Hey....I got a kid going to an out- of -state college! Subjects buying fancy chickens and vacations on foreign countries!

Please tax my in-laws extra?

They are at it again...here's the latest installment in my drama novel:

So last week hubby had spoken to them and said it would be better if they came the week AFTER we moved. After a lot of pleading, they agreed and said they would change their plans. Well, they didn't. Tonight hubby gets a call from BIL. Hubby has the most puzzled look on his face. Here's my husband's side of the conversation:

"What?"

"You're loading a trailer?"

"Tonight?"

"I sold my baseball cards when I was a teenager."

"No they aren't there anymore."

"I sold them." (he repeats this about 3 more times and then asks again why they are loading a trailer)

"why are you loading a trailer?"

"Mom said they wouldn't come until the week after we move."

"No I don't need a chainsaw. We don't even have any trees and I won't have a garage to keep it in"

"No I don't want that--wait the one with the broken hose? No I don't need it, and if I did I could buy a new one much cheaper than what you are spending to bring it up here."

"Don't bring me any of that junk. I don't have anyplace to store it." (He repeated this about twenty times)

Finally he hangs up angrily telling them to do whatever they want. Not only are they coming here early, FIL has decided to clean out the garage and give us all his old tools-- most of which we don't need and have no room to store. The few things we might have used are not in working condition and we don't have a garage at the new place, just a 3 ft by 6 ft storage shed. MIL apparently thinks there is a bunch of old stuff that my husband MUST be missing (nevermind that he has not lived at home for almost 20 years) and she is searching the house for things of his to bring us--she asked BIL to phone hubby and ask about the baseball cards that were sold probably two decades ago. They are bringing us a bunch of junk we will have to throw away or sell. Several of the items my husband told them to THROW AWAY on the phone and not even put in the truck and FIL refused. he kept saying (through BIL who was actually on the phone relaying FIL's words) but it's a perfectly good _____ if you just fix this one thing....Arggh!!!!!!!!!

And it only gets worse....

They would not tell my husband when they were arriving. According to BIL he let the cat out of the bag on accident about loading up a trailer tonight. They were planning on just showing up and "surprising" us. Since they ar eloading atrailer tonight we figure they are on their way here either tonight or tommorrow. We are moving Saturday. we have no place for them to stay. I told my husband either book them a hotel or I'M going to book one for ME to stay in. He agreed with me and he's really pissed off. I've never seen him this mad at his family. He says they did stuff like this to him sometimes when he was still single--showing up uninvited and unannounced. He never thought they would pull something like this.

I think I need a drink. Vodka if you have it please.

[Jestgar]

wow.

tell the IL's that ANYTHING they show up with will be put in a pile on the lawn with a *FREE* sign.

[GlutenFreeManna]

wow.

tell the IL's that ANYTHING they show up with will be put in a pile on the lawn with a *FREE* sign.

oh, he tried to tell them that. Several times. Some of these things they have tried to get us to TAKE in the past when we visited them and every. single. time. hubby told them to sell it or give it away-- that he didn't want it. It's like speaking to a brick wall. I'm beginning to think they want to give us this stuff JUST so they can have a reason to be mad at us when we get rid of it.

If this was not actually happening to me I would find the whole thing very comical. Perhaps I can write for a sit-com using my real life examples?

[kareng]

I'm thinking if they start unloading stuff, call the police. They are dumping their trash and that is illegal. Or get a bike lock and lock the trailer doors. Don't unlock it until they must leave. Can you move a day early & not give them the address? BIL should be ashamed of himself forhelping them.

You have any relative they would listen to?

[GlutenFreeManna]

I'm thinking if they start unloading stuff, call the police. They are dumping their trash and that is illegal. Or get a bike lock and lock the trailer doors. Don't unlock it until they must leave. Can you move a day early & not give them the address? BIL should be ashamed of himself forhelping them.

You have any relative they would listen to?

I already asked about not giving them the new address and hubby stupidly gave it to them long before they said they were coming to see us. We've been married for five years and lived in 4 different places in those five years. Never once have they visited us. They are driving across 6 states to get here. We've decided to be as unco-operative with them as possible since they are doing this but there's not much we can do. Hubby is NOT taking any more time off work (he took off friday and monday for the move). I won't be answering the phone when they call, IF they call when they get to town. And they are NOT staying with us. The only good thing about this is that they have an extra trailer that we can load along with the U-haul we have rented. Although we don't really need the trailer it may be nice to have.

I'm trying hard to make a positive out of this mess and just roll with the punches. I'm almost beyond caring how it all works out, just as long as 1. we get rid of whatever they bring us quickly and 2. They don't stay in town long. I'm not a confrontational person, unfortunately. I'm a peacemaker and to much of a pushover.

[kareng]

I already asked about not giving them the new address and hubby stupidly gave it to them long before they said they were coming to see us. We've been married for five years and lived in 4 different places in those five years. Never once have they visited us. They are driving across 6 states to get here. We've decided to be as unco-operative with them as possible since they are doing this but there's not much we can do. Hubby is NOT taking any more time off work (he took off friday and monday for the move). I won't be answering the phone when they call, IF they call when they get to town. And they are NOT staying with us. The only good thing about this is that they have an extra trailer that we can load along with the U-haul we have rented. Although we don't really need the trailer it may be nice to have.

I'm trying hard to make a positive out of this mess and just roll with the punches. I'm almost beyond caring how it all works out, just as long as 1. we get rid of whatever they bring us quickly and 2. They don't stay in town long. I'm not a confrontational person, unfortunately. I'm a peacemaker and to much of a pushover.

You can't use the trailer that is full of junk. Print out the directions to the dump.

Just because we are related, we don't have to like them or spend time with them. Imagine if you had a child with food intolerances!

Maybe we could send your in- laws to live with mine? They are a whole ocean away!

[psawyer]

I think I need a drink. Vodka if you have it please.

Sorry, no vodka here. Gin?

Mebbe I can find some Bacardi, but I don't have pictures.

[GlutenFreeManna]

Sorry, no vodka here. Gin?

Mebbe I can find some Bacardi, but I don't have pictures.

I'll take it!

[Jestgar]

As soon as they show up, put a lock on the trailer so they can't unload it and have to take everything back.

Or take Russell's tack and try to be inebriated the entire time they're there,

(or maybe that's my friend Julie. Lot's of people seem to have IL issues)

[GlutenFreeManna]

You can't use the trailer that is full of junk. Print out the directions to the dump.

Just because we are related, we don't have to like them or spend time with them. Imagine if you had a child with food intolerances!

Maybe we could send your in- laws to live with mine? They are a whole ocean away!

No good. I live on the coast. They would just be bringing a BARGE instead of a trailer.

I'm afraid I'm stuck. My husband's mad at them but he won't send them to the dump after they drive 18 hours to get here. He has already warned them that he doesn't want the stuff and it will be tossed when they get here. He thinks they mean well but have a few screws loose. I'm just glad they don't lve in the same town or worse right nextdoor!

[kareng]

Also, instruct your friends not to take anything off the trailer. Maybe even put it back on. Maybe if a few of them said, " you can't dump that junk here! They don't have room for it!". You shouldn't have to pay to have it hauled to the dump.

[GlutenFreeManna]

As soon as they show up, put a lock on the trailer so they can't unload it and have to take everything back.

Or take Russell's tack and try to be inebriated the entire time they're there,

(or maybe that's my friend Julie. Lot's of people seem to have IL issues)

I think I might feign illness. The highly contagious kind. With lots of coughing everywhere.

[kareng]

I think I might feign illness. The highly contagious kind. With lots of coughing everywhere.

Perhaps a flea infestation? Rabies?

Give us their number! We'll set them straight!

I would be happy to send them to live with my in-laws but I don't have their address just a general vicinity in Europe.

[GlutenFreeManna]

Also, instruct your friends not to take anything off the trailer. Maybe even put it back on. Maybe if a few of them said, " you can't dump that junk here! They don't have room for it!". You shouldn't have to pay to have it hauled to the dump.

Unfortuantely (or maybe it is fortunate?) our friends may not even see them. They rented the trailer so it seems they will arrive sometime in the next day or two. Wed or Thursday? We get the key to the new place friday. Our friends are helping us (and we have a U-haul reserved) on Saturday. Best case scenario is that they show up friday. If they show up before that they are on their own as to what to do with the trailer. We live in an apartment with only two assigned parking spaces and no vister parking (visiters have to park down the street). We are moving to a townhouse where the HOA rules forbid keeping a trailer parked except for unloading during a move. So if they try to park it anywhere at the new place or the old for more than a few hours it can be towed or ticketed. They will be forced to get a hotel just to have a legal place to park it. The good thing is we won't have to pay extra to have anything hauled to the dump. The old place (apt) has dumpters that we can throw thigns in (we have a lease through the end of the month so we can technically use the dumpster until the 31st) and our trash pick up at the new place is included in the HOA fees so I don't think we have to pay anythign there either.

[GlutenFreeManna]

Perhaps a flea infestation? Rabies?

Give us their number! We'll set them straight!

I would be happy to send them to live with my in-laws but I don't have their address just a general vicinity in Europe.

Aparently the in-laws don't want YOU dropping in unannouced?

I was thinking more like ebola or pneumonic plague.

[kareng]

Unfortuantely (or maybe it is fortunate?) our friends may not even see them. They rented the trailer so it seems they will arrive sometime in the next day or two. Wed or Thursday? We get the key to the new place friday. Our friends are helping us (and we have a U-haul reserved) on Saturday. Best case scenario is that they show up friday. If they show up before that they are on their own as to what to do with the trailer. We live in an apartment with only two assigned parking spaces and no vister parking (visiters have to park down the street). We are moving to a townhouse where the HOA rules forbid keeping a trailer parked except for unloading during a move. So if they try to park it anywhere at the new place or the old for more than a few hours it can be towed or ticketed. They will be forced to get a hotel just to have a legal place to park it. The good thing is we won't have to pay extra to have anything hauled to the dump. The old place (apt) has dumpters that we can throw thigns in (we have a lease through the end of the month so we can technically use the dumpster until the 31st) and our trash pick up at the new place is included in the HOA fees so I don't think we have to pay anythign there either.

Ours is in our HOA but they don't pick up a lot of extra junk.

Aparently the in-laws don't want YOU dropping in unannouced?

They are too wound up in themselves. As they have done some evil things, I'm happy.

[elye]

I would be happy to send them to live with my in-laws but I don't have their address just a general vicinity in Europe.

We must transfer them up to my MIL's neck of the woods, remote and thousands of kilometres away -- Whitehorse, in the Yukon. Mountains, rivers, barren moors and bloody freezing a lot o' the year.. . . . ....perfect, don'cha think?