The Funny Pages - Tickle Me Elbow - The Original

[elye]

My bad!

...TOM...!(wagging finger)...what did we say, now? It's my fault...my fault...

Or leave 'em on and call it a Carribbean Tickler?

Y'ouch!!

Once the math starts, it gains momentum (p=mv), and just gets harder to stop. The one to blame is the one who started it.

Whoa. I think I started it...and I'm the math idiot.

[blueeyedmanda]

No Problem, Tom! I have to admitt I am easily confused

[tom]

...TOM...!(wagging finger)...what did we say, now? It's my fault...my fault...

So very sorry.

(My bad)

Whoa. I think I started it....

No no no Emily!! Well, ok you shifted it from an orange pyramid to a pyramid OF oranges, but my point was that punkinhead (lol) protested the math, yet was the one who 1st threw down the geek gauntlet.

[blueeyedmanda]

This thread is what helps me get through the work day....LOL

[nikki-uk]

...and I'm the math idiot.

I challenge you that title as I feel it rightly belongs to me

[nikki-uk]

This thread is what helps me get through the work day....LOL

A bit slow today with not much sillyness - and I note that you (Amanda?) are a moderator (who IMO are the worst culprits of 'near the mark' posts....think Mtndog ) but you have no link with your title of Celiac Disease Moderator???

[nikki-uk]

It's the birthday of the emoticon

Open Original Shared Link

I found the perfect one for me!!

:-E] Needs to go to the dentist Ouch!!!

[blueeyedmanda]

A bit slow today with not much sillyness - and I note that you (Amanda?) are a moderator (who IMO are the worst culprits of 'near the mark' posts....think Mtndog ) but you have no link with your title of Celiac Disease Moderator???

link? I am a fairly new moderator, within the last month.

I am crazy though, even my cubie mate thinks so, she tells me at least 5 x a day I am nuts. Fun!!!

[blueeyedmanda]

and math is not a strong suit here at all....it is a good thing and it is summer, I can take off my shoes when I get to 11.

[elye]

LOVE those emoticons. I could be there all day, making emotiphrases.

My favorite: @:-)

=Arab

[blueeyedmanda]

LOL----:{} <---Burping!

[Darn210]

Something from my mom . . . some of the things she sends me are good . . . some are SPAM.

"Airlines Announcements"

All too rarely, airline attendants make an effort to make the in

flight "safety lecture" and announcements a bit more entertaining.

Here are some real examples that have been heard or reported (Personally, I doubt this ):

1. On a Southwest flight (SW has no assigned seating, you just sit where you want) passengers were apparently having a hard time choosing, when a flight attendant announced, "People, people we're not picking out furniture here, find a seat and get in it!"

2. On a Continental Flight with a very "senior" flight attendant crew, the pilot said, "Ladies and gentlemen, we've reached cruising altitude and will be turning down the cabin lights. This is for your comfort and to enhance the appearance of your flight attendants."

3. On landing, the stewardess said, "Please be sure to take all of your belongings. If you're going to leave anything, please make sure it's something we'd like to have.

4. "There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out of this airplane"

5. "Thank you for flying Delta Business Express. We hope you enjoyed giving us the business as much as we enjoyed taking you for a ride."

6. As the plane landed and was coming to a stop at Ronald Reagan, a lone voice came over the loudspeaker: "Whoa, big fella. WHOA!"

7. After a particularly rough landing during thunderstorms in Memphis, a flight attendant on a Northwest flight announced, "Please take care when opening the overhead compartments because, after a landing like that, sure as hell everything has shifted."

8. From a Southwest Airlines employee: "Welcome aboard Southwest Flight 245 to Tampa.. To operate your seat belt, insert the metal tab into the buckle, and pull tight. It works just like every other seat belt; and if you don't know how to operate one, you probably shouldn't be out in public unsupervised."

9. "In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, masks will descend from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your face. If you have a small child traveling with you, secure your mask before assisting with theirs. If you are traveling with more than one small child, pick your favorite."

10. "Weather at our destination is 50 degrees with some broken clouds, but we'll try to have them fixed before we arrive. Thank you, and remember, nobody loves you, or your money, more than Southwest airlines."

11. "Your seat cushions can be used for flotation; and, in the event of an emergency water landing, please paddle to shore and take them with our compliments."

12. "As you exit the plane, make sure to gather all of your belongings. Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among the flight attendants. Please do not leave children or spouses."

13. And from the pilot during his welcome message: "Delta Airlines is pleased to have some of the best flight attendants in the industry. Unfortunately, none of them are on this flight!"

14. Heard on Southwest Airlines just after a very hard landing in Salt Lake City: The flight attendant came on the intercom and said, "That was quite a bump, and I know what y'all are thinking. I'm here to tell you it wasn't the airline's fault, it wasn't the pilot's fault, it wasn't the flight attendant's fault, it was the asphalt."

15. Overheard on an American Airlines flight into Amarillo, Texas, on a particularly windy and bumpy day: During the final approach, the Captain was really having to fight it. After an extremely hard landing, the Flight Attendant said, "Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to Amarillo. Please remain in your seats with your seat belts fastened while the Captain taxis what's left of our airplane to the gate!"

16. Another flight attendant's comment on a less than perfect landing: "We ask you to please remain seated as Captain Kangaroo bounces us to the terminal."

17. An airline pilot wrote that on this particular flight he had hammered his ship into the runway really hard. The airline had a policy which required the first officer to stand at the door while the Passengers exited, smile, and give them a "Thanks for flying our airline." He said that, in light of his bad landing, he had a hard time looking the passengers in the eye, thinking that someone would have a smart comment. Finally everyone had gotten off except for a little old lady walking with a cane. She said, "Sir, do you mind if I ask you a question?" "Why, no, Ma'am," said the pilot. "What is it?" The little old lady said, "Did we land, or were we shot down?"

18. After a real crusher of a landing in Phoenix, the attendant came on with, "Ladies and Gentlemen, please remain in your seats until Capt. Crash and the Crew have brought the aircraft to a screeching halt against the gate. And, once the tire smoke has cleared and the warning bells are silenced, we'll open the door and you can pick your way through the wreckage to the terminal."

19. Part of a flight attendant's arrival announcement: "We'd like to thank you folks for flying with us today. And, the next time you get the insane urge to go blasting through the skies in a pressurized metal tube, we hope you'll think of US Airways."

20. Heard on a Southwest Airline flight. "Ladies and gentlemen, if you wish to smoke, the smoking section on this airplane is on the wing and if you can light 'em, you can smoke 'em."

[tom]

I started at the bottom.

1st fav

(-: User is left handed.

So, is everybody left-handed but me?

Haven't heard another righty pipe up . . . . .

Janet! "Airlines Announcements" !

[Darn210]

So, is everybody left-handed but me?

Haven't heard another righty pipe up . . . . .

Waaaaay back on pg 157, I admitted/revealed/announced that I was right-handed. But you were probably too distracted by the witty math repartee.

Nobody even commented on the goat. (Now, is that going to send you back to find out wth I'm talking about?)

[blueeyedmanda]

I enjoyed the one about the smoking and the leaving your husband!

[nikki-uk]

even my cubie mate thinks so

Cubie??? (I am English)

Something from my mom . . . some of the things she sends me are good . . . some are SPAM.

Your Mum sends you Open Original Shared Link???

Yum!!!

[CarlaB]

What goat?

Susan is right-handed ... that's why she holds her wine glass in her right hand while eating and brushing her teeth with her left.

There is/was one airline where the flight attendants were ALWAYS like these comments. I can't remember which one it was ... sometimes it was funny, sometimes it was annoying ... it was always unprofessional.

[nikki-uk]

Waaaaay back on pg 157, I admitted/revealed/announced that I was right-handed. But you were probably too distracted by the witty math repartee.

Nobody even commented on the goat. (Now, is that going to send you back to find out wth I'm talking about?)

Firstly...NEVER go back ...the vortex will suck YOU IN !!!!!!!!!!

I seem to remember something about relatives who toilet trained a goat?? (no mean feat I'm sure!! )

EDIT: ..and there's Tom in his avatar looking all sporty in SHORTS - get them legs out !!!

[Darn210]

Well, I had to change my avatar. I just could not bear to look at Susie's hair style one more minute! Plus, I do believe, the next time that we <virtually> see her, she should have had her hair "do-over".

My new av is my son's self-portrait. Thank goodness for digital cameras, we don't have to pay for film or developing on the majority of his pictures. He does come up with some good ones, though.

Can anyone (tom, emily, or manda) tell me how to put a caption under the photo?

Your Mum sends you Open Original Shared Link???

Mom never served us spam, but grandma did!! And we loved it!!! I wonder if it tastes like I remember it? Perhaps I should just leave it as a fond childhood memory.

Firstly...NEVER go back ...the vortex will suck YOU IN !!!!!!!!!!

I seem to remember something about relatives who toilet trained a goat?? (no mean feat I'm sure!! )

Ahhh, good recall. I HAVE been going into the back issues of this thread, though, in order to get a little dirt, I mean history, on you guys.

[blueeyedmanda]

Cubie--is what I call the girl I share my cubicle wall with at work. It is this wall that moves since it is not a sturdy permanent fixture. I call her my cubie mate. Makes it sound nicer than it is....a droopy office cubiucle.

[CarlaB]

Can I answer even though my name wasn't on the list??? You can't put a caption under your avatar until you reach 500 posts ... then you're a member of the special club that can use captions.

[tom]

Waaaaay back on pg 157, I admitted/revealed/announced that I was right-handed. But you were probably too distracted by the witty math repartee.

I think I was distracted visualizing the goat fiasco!!

Nobody even commented on the goat. (Now, is that going to send you back to find out wth I'm talking about?)

Ack I *meant* to comment that it's too bad youTube wasn't around back then. It coulda been a HIT!!

Susan is right-handed ... that's why she holds her wine glass in her right hand while eating and brushing her teeth with her left.

Punkinhead's definitely a leftie! (May as well use the moniker while it's still valid! ) She & Jin both said so during a conversation about our Resident Artists on OMG a while back. Not sure whether 3rd artist, Donna, was.

EDIT: ..and there's Tom in his avatar looking all sporty in SHORTS - get them legs out !!!

Hehe this is Phx. We're in shorts most of the year. I remember last Thanksgiving (blimey I gotta say end of Nov for the limey) wearing long pants to dinner at the house of ppl who were parents on the block when I was a kid, thinking it was the respectful thing to do, only to find THEY'RE in shorts!! It was the 1st time in long pants since Easter, and that time I wore 'em for the same reason!

[Darn210]

Can I answer even though my name wasn't on the list??? You can't put a caption under your avatar until you reach 500 posts ... then you're a member of the special club that can use captions.

Ohhhhh . . . a special club, huh ? Is there a secret handshake? a password? a knowing look?

OK, anybody mind if I post about 350 of the exact same message so I can get into the club?

[CarlaB]

......I only EAT and BRUSH MY TEETH left handed......everything else in the entire world is done w/ left hand or foot.

Okay, Tom, I found out where the confusion came from!!!

[CarlaB]

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOps - - - I meant

RIGHT

hand or foot!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Does this mean she's right handed??? If I remember correctly, she paints with both hands as I used to do when I painted.

Susie will definately have to solve this for us.