Arguing With One Another On Posts!?

[chgomom]

OK...last time I checked most of us are adults here. Minus the teenager here and there.

To that end, adults are not supposed to argue about who is right and wrong.

Everytime I post something, someone give advice. Which is great. But then, someone, comes along and tells them they are wrong....or what have you because either they read something different or have had different experiences. It's never even a stone cold correction like so someone really giving the wrong information (maybe once I have seen that)

Heck...I could rant and rave because people say Snickers are safe. But when you look at the ingredients it has Hydrogenated and Partially Hydrogentated oils. Which (now let me argue with myself and pain stakingly moan and complain over each stinkin' detail) means then its really not safe because of the way the palm oil is processed when its hydrogentated. And before someone yells at me for not giving enough details, and blah blah blah....its a regular sized snickers...bought betwen the hours of 9 and 5 at your local grocer.

Sheesh.

What good is this, if every time there is an argument that has nothing to do with what the person is posting.

I guess people need to feel really important, or tlak just for the sake because they don't get listened to...or heck, maybe its a control thing.

But I'm a mom....so I will just say.....play nice children, or everyone is on a time out!

*steps off proverbial soap box and proceeds to argue with self about whether or not she should have posted that*

[eKatherine]

OK...last time I checked most of us are adults here. Minus the teenager here and there.

To that end, adults are not supposed to argue about who is right and wrong.

Everytime I post something, someone give advice. Which is great. But then, someone, comes along and tells them they are wrong....or what have you because either they read something different or have had different experiences. It's never even a stone cold correction like so someone really giving the wrong information (maybe once I have seen that)

Heck...I could rant and rave because people say Snickers are safe. But when you look at the ingredients it has Hydrogenated and Partially Hydrogentated oils. Which (now let me argue with myself and pain stakingly moan and complain over each stinkin' detail) means then its really not safe because of the way the palm oil is processed when its hydrogentated. And before someone yells at me for not giving enough details, and blah blah blah....its a regular sized snickers...bought betwen the hours of 9 and 5 at your local grocer.

Sheesh.

What good is this, if every time there is an argument that has nothing to do with what the person is posting.

I guess people need to feel really important, or tlak just for the sake because they don't get listened to...or heck, maybe its a control thing.

But I'm a mom....so I will just say.....play nice children, or everyone is on a time out!

*steps off proverbial soap box and proceeds to argue with self about whether or not she should have posted that*

It sounds like you're saying that the first one who gives advice closes the thread...

[chgomom]

No.

What I am saying is, people need to stop arguing with one another over how someone else is wrong.

Calling each other rude and other things totally unrelated and not helpful to a post.

[Ruth52]

When we are reading advice or the challenge to someone elses advice we can only read the words, we can't see the facial expressions or read the body language, we are left to add these ourself.

Often I think we misinterpret an idea or a thought because we have had to imagine how we think the voice intonations are being made. Having a distance conversation without face to face contact, and to a person you have never met brings challenges. (As i write this I am relaxed and smiling, just having returned from a weeks holiday).

[IrishKelly]

When we are reading advice or the challenge to someone elses advice we can only read the words, we can't see the facial expressions or read the body language, we are left to add these ourself.

Often I think we misinterpret an idea or a thought because we have had to imagine how we think the voice intonations are being made. Having a distance conversation without face to face contact, and to a person you have never met brings challenges. (As i write this I am relaxed and smiling, just having returned from a weeks holiday).

Oh Yes, i agree with this most definitely

[lonewolf]

I'm really not trying to argue here, but your post made me think about Snickers. I generally don't eat them or let my kids eat them because I think they are unhealthy - we avoid hydrogenated oils as much as possible. I have let my son have one a couple of times though when other people were having ice cream or donuts or something he can't eat. I hadn't heard that the hydrogenation process puts gluten in them.

[plantime]

No.

What I am saying is, people need to stop arguing with one another over how someone else is wrong.

Calling each other rude and other things totally unrelated and not helpful to a post.

This post comes across as being argumentative, as if the poster wants to fight. I don't see where this is helpful at all.

[tiredofdoctors]

So who is arguing NOW?????

[Rachel--24]

Not being arguementive but why arent Snickers safe?? What does hydrogenated oils have to do with gluten??

[mouse]

Am I missing something? I thought those were past threads.

[plantime]

Not being arguementive but why arent Snickers safe?? What does hydrogenated oils have to do with gluten??

Good question.

[Michi8]

Am I missing something? I thought those were past threads.

I'm not sure. I think this has to do with not discussing/arguing with anyone but the thread author, and only if it's about Snickers? LOL!

Michelle

[DingoGirl]

Snickers do not cause any sort of problem with me.......

just my two cents, folks......

[jnifred]

I don;t think she meant that hydrogenated oils have anything to do with gluten. I think she meant that hydrogenated oils are not healthy for you because (as a friend who is a chemist says) it is like eating diesel fuel. The chemical makeup of hydrogenated oils is close to diesel fuel and he (our chemist friend) tries to avoid it for his family. Since talking to him about this several years ago, we too have eliminated as much as possible, although I do still indulge in Snickers (well, before I had a midlife crisis and got braces, but I will again when they are off) occasionally.

But I just think she was trying to say that sometimes it seems like anything said can turn into an argument by someone else.

One person says Snickers are safe, another person says no they're not b/c the hydrogenated oils are bad for you and an argument can ensue....not always, but I am jsut saying that sometimes people are maybe a little too touchy on the eating thing, especially since a lot of people on here have more than one dietary restriction and it makes for some heated debates.

SO I hope that was politically correct enough and an accurate enough run down of what I THINK she meant........

[Rachel--24]

I'm not sure. I think this has to do with not discussing/arguing with anyone but the thread author, and only if it's about Snickers? LOL!

Michelle

LOL...Ok..it all makes sense to me now!

Snickers do not cause any sort of problem with me.......

just my two cents, folks......

Well arent you the lucky one!!

Snickers would probably kill me but at least I'd die happy.

On second thought....I think I'd rather be killed by an Almond Joy.

I would just like to say that I fully understand Jnifred's explanation. I can only speak for myself but just cuz I cant eat a snickers I'm not gonna freak out on those of you who can. Not even on a bad day have I done this.

I actually havent seen anything like that happen here....unless we're talking about gluten. In that case yes...people might then speak up about the status of a particular product.

[chgomom]

Um, all I was saying is that everytime I post something there part of the thread where people bicker about who is right or wrong. Thats all I was saying.

[Ruth52]

Yes I thought that was what you were saying. (Still smiling, quite relaxed because I am listening to peaceful music. No malice in my voice.)

[tiredofdoctors]

Yeah, unfortunately that happens sometimes. Every now and then we get someone (some people have even recognized the same person coming on under a different name) that comes on the forum SOLELY to stir up trouble . . . . MAN -- talk about some bickering.

As a whole, we tend to get along fairly well. I think that even when we don't disagree with someone's opinion or ideas, we try to respect that it's THEIR OPINION, so there's no right or wrong. If the facts are wrong, then we'll cite references or something like that .. . . .

I'm sorry you're having a not-great experience. I hope it gets better. I have found a lot of support from this forum and have made actual friends here -- not just acquaintances. Mouse and her husband decided I needed a break, so they flew me to meet her in Las Vegas!! We had a BALL!

There are also several people upon whom I have come to rely upon for their friendship, cameraderie, to NEVER leave me at a loss for laughs, but also to bounce things off of them, open up my SOUL to them, worry about them -- and it's all reciprocal. I think those are the things of which true friendships are forged, and it's comforting knowing that these people are a phone call or a mouse-click away.

Also, because we've had to fight so long and so hard to be heard by the medical community, had to fight tooth and nail to be taken seriously, it's made us pretty tough. Which, in some contexts is a PLUS, but when you get a bunch of us together, it can get pretty intense!

I hope that your experiences just keep getting better and better. I think we have a pretty great group of people here.

[Carriefaith]

I think I have missed a lot of the arguing...

[covsooze]

I have to say, I just let any arguing drift over my head...brain fog helps with that lol This sort of thing will unfortunately always happen on a chat board where there are so many different people with different opinions contributing. So much of the stuff out there on food intolerances etc is controversial and confusing, so there are bound to be 'debates' and it is so difficult to express ourselves in writing without seeing each others body language and without being misunderstood. Considering all that, i think we do really well, and I've gained so much from this board. And yes, it is a shame when the odd nutter turns up to deliberately cause trouble, but, again, that unfortunately is a risk with a public forum.

I can understand your frustration when a thread you've started goes way off topic. But please hang around and I hope you will learn lots that will make a real difference to your life - and that you'll make some great cyber friends.

[gfp]

Um, all I was saying is that everytime I post something there part of the thread where people bicker about who is right or wrong. Thats all I was saying.

I'm not entirely certain what should be done when someopne posts inaccurate advice?

Several posters here consistently post advice which is inaccurate and posting the medical papers to prove this once does not seem to detract from this.

As I mentioned on another thread, if someone asks if McDo fries are safe then what is the correct answer?

Whereby I agree discussing the effect of hydrogenated fats is perhaps not what they meant does that mean we should ignore CC? Several people here don't beleive in CC as an issue.... they are "pick of the croutons" gluten-free dieters and if they find a battered onion ring in their fries they count it as a bonus ... surely a little will not hurt?

Perhaps several of these people are not celaics, perhaps some of them are unaware that just because they are asymptomatic to smaller amounts doesn't mean that its not doing damage and probably many of them simply believe what they wish to believe.

However the real question is what advice is acceptable.....

Its true that everyone must make their own choice on risks but they should do so with the best information available.

Personally I'm past bothering to correct several people whom seem intent simply on posting mis-information at every chance they have.

Perhaps many people just want yes and no answers..... that's unfortunate see a preist or astologer because in many cases their is no yes/no.

This is exactlly like the diabetes and insulin vs diet control .....

"Yes here is a syringe ... just use it 3 times a day..."

"Shouldn't I check my blood sugar? "

"Yes but I think you are toostupid/stubborn to do that so just give yourself 3 shots a day"

"What about dietry control"

"Yes your too stupid for that too.. just 3 shots a day"

So you can give a yes no answer.... so long as you just presume the other person who is asking the question is too stupid to follow the advice anyway.

[Fiddle-Faddle]

Um, chgomom started a thread asking people not to bicker--and there are now 22 posts, um, bickering about it?

Seriously, though--we are people with different backgrounds and different experiences. I think everyone who has posted (no matter how accurate their ideas) truly wants to help others.

The problem arises when either someone intentionally or unintentionally slights someone else, who gets offended.

Many of us have very strong beliefs on the subjects at hand, and many of us are outraged to find out that some (note: I did NOT say, "all") of the doctors and pharmacy industries whom we have trusted with our health have damaged our health and/or the health of our children, in some cases permanently. So strong emotions come creeping into our posts.

It's easy to understand why those who have not been directly or obviously damaged by doctors or pharm are taken aback by our outrage. And certainly, they should question us and not just take one person's word for something. They should ask for studies and proof. But not rudely.

Another difficulty is that many of us view this forum as an outlet, a place to vent. It's difficult to balance freely venting and maintaining politeness and respect. Sometimes each one of us might need a reminder that we are stepping on someone's toes, and causing discomfort.

[chgomom]

OK...my point.

If I ask a question, about fires, candy, stinkin fish food, someone can say yeah its safe....the next person had a horrible experience, or has gone to "Net Research University" and proceeds to post document, after document like the Jesuit's trying to convert the Native Americans in the 1700's.

Now if someone comes on here....and says....gluten shmooten...you can eat Rye bread as long as it doesn't have wheat....or sure....Go ahead and eat regular mayo.....or....pish posh.....you don't need to wash your hands after you touch something with gluten. Then yeah....they need to be told...hey buddy, you're giving out bad advice and could hurt someone.

Last time I checked, most of us are not naturopaths, MD's, DO, or alternative medicine specialists. While we do know alot this forum is valuable because we all bring different experiences and it helps people cope, relate and naviagte their way through what at the beginning is a terrible condition (IMHOP - In my humble opinion)

If someone says schnozberries did'nt work for them, and then bickering ensues because someone read a study or they worked for that person, thats not helpful. Why not just say, well they worked for me, here is alink if you are interested.

Now that made me want to watch Willy Wonka with my son. Which means now I have to drag myself to Blockbuster.

[happygirl]

I actually must say, I thought in the past week or so, the board had been getting along pretty well, with a renewed sense of purpose:

helping newbies (which is a main purpose of this site),

providing support to others (and support means personal viewpoints AND research articles),

and generally, having a good time in the midst of this strange disease/intolerance.

But, maybe I'm living in "LauraLand" like my husband likes to tell me.

[chgomom]

John Lennon said it best.............

*gets her little tambourine out*puts her index and middle finger up in a V*

All we are saying......is give peace a chance.

Sheesh.