Arguing With One Another On Posts!?

[Canadian Karen]

Well, my take on it is that in a perfect celiac world, everything would be black and white. Unfortunately, that perfect world exists only in our dreams.

Too many factors contribute to the confusion. Some people react to even a crumb of gluten or even react when they TOUCH a crumb, others are basically asymptomatic. So when someone posts and asks if "ABC brand of ketchup is gluten free or not", the one who hardly reacts at all will post and say, "Sure, I use it with no problems", while the other poor unfortunate soul who reacts to the most miniscule amount of gluten will post and say "I used it, and got a reaction".

Welcome to the life of gluten-free living, folks.

There is no "I am right and you are wrong" in the gluten-free world. If everyone would just post their experiences without the "I am right and you are wrong" attitude, then the board would be a much more friendly place to visit and to learn.

Hugs to all.

Karen

[chgomom]

*shakes her tambourine in Karen's direction*

Well said sister!

[JenKuz]

OK...my point.

If I ask a question, about fires, candy, stinkin fish food, someone can say yeah its safe....the next person had a horrible experience, or has gone to "Net Research University" and proceeds to post document, after document like the Jesuit's trying to convert the Native Americans in the 1700's.

Well, I guess I must be one of the people you're talking about. I was going to ignore this post, but this is very personal and I feel compelled to comment. I thought you had just been referring to the folks in the cold thread who called each other rude, but apparently I'm included in your bickering for having posted sections of articles as documentation of what works for colds. I thought you wanted advice on what to do for colds, I mentioned a couple things, and debated the evidence.

I don't go to 'net research university'. I go to a real university, and I study epidemiology. I know that half the studies that have been done are crap, full of data mining. I also feel that there are a lot of predatory people out there, hocking snake oil (and I include *all* kinds of medicine in that, allopathic and naturopathic) and one of the beautiful things about a boeard like this is that we can combine our knowledge to sort the chaff from the grain, so to speak. And all I know how to do, the major skill set that I bring to the table, is a knowledge of epidemiology.

Providing evidence for a point that may be ambiguous or doubtful should not be considered "bickering." I certainly hadn't thought I was bickering. I thought it was a lively exchange of ideas, and I learned something from the thread.

Maybe if you want a thread free of evidence, you can write that in the subject line.

Also, I think you chose a pretty inflammatory metaphor. Jesuits converting Native Americans? They didn't cite articles, they used a combination of force, manipulation, bribery and advantage-taking.

[chgomom]

*peace sign up*

[chgomom]

Roman emperor Marcus Aurelis was quoted as having said giving a public address,

Accept the things to which fate binds you, and love the

people with whom fate brings you together, but do so with all your heart.

Thats the beauty of the board, and no amount of research, education, net education, good expereinces or bad, make any one person better, more qualified, or allowed to speak more freely. If someone gives out right wrong information thats one thing. If someone has a different experience, that doesn't mean they are wrong, that means it works for them, and heck may work for someone reading the post, may not.

The only thing any of us have control over, is what we put into and what comes out of our mouths.

[aikiducky]

Ok I just read the last posts in the "cold" thread... as far as I can see, in the last posts people were actually apologizing to each other, making up, and at least up to a point agreeing with each other.

Sure there was a somewhat heated argument but people did listen to each other and not just resort to name calling but actually argue about facts. I think really that's all one could ask for on an internet forum.

I don't usually even post on threads about threads because in my experience, it's not possible to control what other people do anyway. But that happened to be one of the more informative discussions here over the last couple days and I think it's a bit unfair to say that it was just "bickering".

Now if I start a thread about anything, sure at some point I might think that the tread is going in a direction that I didn't originally intend. But that's the thing with discussion boards, no one person can control what happens when thousands of people get together and start talking.

The only way to have a place that I can control would be to set up my own discussion board that I moderate tightly to include only people who say what I want to hear. Personally I prefer it here.

Pauliina

[jerseyangel]

Yep, Paulina, you summed it up nicely!

[chgomom]

OK, can this be the end of it.

My first post on this was everytime I ask a question or there is bickering in the post about who is wrong or right, not every time but most. Thats it nothing more, nothing less. No hidden agenda, niete!

I did'nt refer to any other post, nor have I followed whatever post anyone is referring to.

Sheesh!!!

[JenKuz]

Roman emperor Marcus Aurelis was quoted as having said giving a public address,

Accept the things to which fate binds you, and love the

people with whom fate brings you together, but do so with all your heart.

Thats the beauty of the board, and no amount of research, education, net education, good expereinces or bad, make any one person better, more qualified, or allowed to speak more freely. If someone gives out right wrong information thats one thing. If someone has a different experience, that doesn't mean they are wrong, that means it works for them, and heck may work for someone reading the post, may not.

The only thing any of us have control over, is what we put into and what comes out of our mouths.

But you seem to be saying that you think some people shouldn't speak at all.

[TriticusToxicum]

"All I Ever Really Needed to Know I Learned in Kindergarten"

Robert Fulgham

Most of what I really need to know about how to live, and what to do, and how to be, I learned in Kindergarten. Wisdom was not at the top of the graduate school mountain, but there in the sandbox at nursery school.

These are the things I learned..

Share everything.

Play fair.

Don't hit people.

Put things back where you found them.

Clean up your own mess.

Don't take things that aren't yours.

Say sorry when you hurt somebody.

Wash your hands before you eat.

Flush.

Warm cookies and cold milk are good for you.

Live a balanced life.

Learn some and think some and draw and paint and sing and dance and play and work every day some.

Take a nap every afternoon.

When you go out into the world, watch for traffic, hold hands, and stick together.

Be aware of wonder. Remember the little seed in the plastic cup? The roots go down and the plant goes up and nobody really knows how or why, but we are all like that.

Goldfish and hamsters and white mice and even the little seed in the plastic cup - they all die. So do we.

And then remember the book about Dick and Jane and the first word you learned, the biggest word of all: LOOK.

Everything you need to know is in there somewhere.

The Golden Rule and love and basic sanitation.

Ecology and politics and sane living.

Think of what a better world it would be if we all - the whole world had cookies and milk about 3 o'clock every afternoon and then lay down with our blankets for a nap. Or if we had a basic policy in our nation and other nations to always put things back where we found them and cleaned up our own messes. And it is still true, no matter how old you are, when you go out into the world, it is best to hold hands and stick together.

-Thank you Miss DeNote, My kindergarden teacher at Adaire School in Feltonville

Elliott

Kumbaya my lord, Kumbaya

O Lord Kumbaya

Kumbaya my lord, Kumbaya

Kumbaya my lord, Kumbaya

Kumbaya my lord, Kumbaya

O Lord Kumbaya

For the sun that rises in the sky

For the rythm of the falling rain

For all life, great or small

For all that's true, for all you do

Kumbaya my lord, Kumbaya

Kumbaya my lord, Kumbaya

Kumbaya my lord, Kumbaya

O Lord Kumbaya

For one second on this world you made

For the love that will never fade

For a heart beating with joy

For all that's real, for all we feel

Kumbaya my lord, Kumbaya

Kumbaya my lord, Kumbaya

Kumbaya my lord, Kumbaya

O Lord Kumbaya

Kumbaya my lord, Kumbaya

Kumbaya my lord, Kumbaya

Kumbaya my lord, Kumbaya

O Lord Kumbaya

O Lord Kumbaya, Kumbaya

THE END.

[Canadian Karen]

Richard,

You're a trip!

[jesscarmel]

Ok I just read the last posts in the "cold" thread... as far as I can see, in the last posts people were actually apologizing to each other, making up, and at least up to a point agreeing with each other.

Sure there was a somewhat heated argument but people did listen to each other and not just resort to name calling but actually argue about facts. I think really that's all one could ask for on an internet forum.

I don't usually even post on threads about threads because in my experience, it's not possible to control what other people do anyway. But that happened to be one of the more informative discussions here over the last couple days and I think it's a bit unfair to say that it was just "bickering".

Now if I start a thread about anything, sure at some point I might think that the tread is going in a direction that I didn't originally intend. But that's the thing with discussion boards, no one person can control what happens when thousands of people get together and start talking.

The only way to have a place that I can control would be to set up my own discussion board that I moderate tightly to include only people who say what I want to hear. Personally I prefer it here.

Pauliina

exactly!!! people were apologizing, and trying to communicate. its called being human. !

[Rachel--24]

I would hate it if people were afraid to say whats on their mind or to share their own experience because it differed greatly from the previous post in a thread. Personally I value everyones opinion and dont mind a good debate now and then. I wanna know all there is to know and I'll take with me what I find most valueable or pertinent to me. As long as there is no name-calling or disrespect going on....then I think its great that we are all here contributing what we can. One person may read a post, find it completey useless to them... while another person may come along and find everything they were looking for in that very same post.

Personally, I'm glad that we have people here sharing their knowledge.

Richard....I LOVE it!!!

Its perfect!

[plantime]

Thats the beauty of the board, and no amount of research, education, net education, good expereinces or bad, make any one person better, more qualified, or allowed to speak more freely.

You have your peace sign up, you say that no one is any better than any one else, and yet I am reading an "I'm holier and more peaceful than you" attitude in your posts. I am not a hippy, I am a free-speaking liberal. I will speak what is on my mind. I have that privilege, just as you do. If you don't like what I have to say, you also have the privilege of putting me on "ignore". I think it's now time I followed my own advice.

[chgomom]

I can't believe people.

[jesscarmel]

You have your peace sign up, you say that no one is any better than any one else, and yet I am reading an "I'm holier and more peaceful than you" attitude in your posts.

totally wanted to say the same thing dessa but was nervous too

good for you for speaking your mind so eloquently

[Michi8]

Ok I just read the last posts in the "cold" thread... as far as I can see, in the last posts people were actually apologizing to each other, making up, and at least up to a point agreeing with each other.

Sure there was a somewhat heated argument but people did listen to each other and not just resort to name calling but actually argue about facts. I think really that's all one could ask for on an internet forum.

I don't usually even post on threads about threads because in my experience, it's not possible to control what other people do anyway. But that happened to be one of the more informative discussions here over the last couple days and I think it's a bit unfair to say that it was just "bickering".

Now if I start a thread about anything, sure at some point I might think that the tread is going in a direction that I didn't originally intend. But that's the thing with discussion boards, no one person can control what happens when thousands of people get together and start talking.

The only way to have a place that I can control would be to set up my own discussion board that I moderate tightly to include only people who say what I want to hear. Personally I prefer it here.

Pauliina

Thank you, Paulina. Being one who was apparently "bickering" in that thread, I thought that it all got sorted out, and was "cool." And I actually learned some new stuff in that forum that I will likely try.

I personally appreciate hearing different points of views and especially appreciate when someone backs up what they are saying with further information. Yes, sometimes things can be misconstrued and discussions can become heated, but that is the way with any public forum...especially when it's not face to face. If anyone thinks that it only happens here, then they apparently haven't been around many forums.

If a poster really doesn't want others to put their 2 cents in, then it needs to be stated at the beginning of the thread. The other option is to click "ignore" if you don't want to hear anything from a particular member.

Michelle

[corinne]

For me, the arguments on posts is very valuable. I am able to see different points of views and the reasons for why those views are held. Part of being an adult IS being able to passionately hold a point of view, being able to defend it and to not take offense when somewhen holds a different opinion. If the post descends into childish behaviours such as name-calling or offensive language, then I would say it's time to pull it. Otherwise, I'd prefer that everyone feels free to openly express themselves.

[lorka150]

i apologize if this has already been said, however, i didn't read all the posts in this thread (just really the first and last few).

basically, starting a thread like this is just instigating more negative action.

michelle did mention to simply not read it or remove yourself from a conversation if it bothers you. and corinne makes an excellent point that this is a mostly adult forum - in addition, we should keep in mind there are some younger teens who meander around here. so let's set an example.

[tiredofdoctors]

Richard,

Robert Fulghum is my favorite author -- ever, I think!!! I got to listen to him lecture once -- he is fantastic! If you've read the entire book, "All I really need to know I learned in Kindergarten" . . . . I'm a mermaid!!!!

Lynne

[gfp]

OK...my point.

If I ask a question, about fires, candy, stinkin fish food, someone can say yeah its safe....the next person had a horrible experience, or has gone to "Net Research University" and proceeds to post document, after document like the Jesuit's trying to convert the Native Americans in the 1700's.

Once again there are several people here who are propogating myths which are simply not correct or do not fit the experiences of many on the board.

Regardless of medical papers having been previously posted they post the same information each time.

From my point of view its not about being right its about posting the correct t information for the person who asks.

If someone continues to categorically state you can't get glutened by breathing in flour or using cosmetics for instance I'm not sure exactly what you are suggesting? "Let it be?"

There's room at the top they are telling you still

But first you must learn how to smile as you kill

If you want to be like the folks on the hill

[debmidge]

to have opinions on a fact will result in open discussion and differences of opinion.

If someone truly has learned information that will prove and document a fact then they do have the knowledge or education to advise others.

to have opinions on a "feeling" or on a subjective matter is touchy. I no longer engage in this type of discsussion because there can be (A) posters who lack empathy, sympathy and other cognitive processes that hamper them in achieving an understanding of the situation. Because they never had "it' happen, they cannot see how "it" could affect someone.

Then there are those that are "B" "contrarians" and will deliberately say "black" if you say "white."

It's difficult to determine what type of person you are conversing with at first. Then you get it "pow!" and you know who to avoid in the future.

When I see these persons on a thread I might join in on a "surface" level and then stay away.

I don't think that overall everyone wants to argue, I think that some topics just get more emotional than others and that some posters are either A or B type. You just got to walk away from that and let the thread die.

[eKatherine]

I think it's just an adaptation issue: newbies don't have an understanding for what a forum is. They post a question, expect an answer, and then expect that it will end there. I've even been on boards where newbies repeatedly asked that their topic be deleted after they got their response, not realizing it was now going to be part of the common knowledge base and a source for future discussion.

An internet forum is an organic thing. Threads have a life of their own.

[tarnalberry]

What's really fun is when you ask "Does product A have gluten?" and someone replies "I called the company and they said nope, so enjoy!" and someone else replies "Oh, no, I called the company and they said it does! Crisis!" (Okay, I'm just being silly when I say 'crisis'. ) But I've had it happen (I've been one of the callees, and the original poster.)

[jerseyangel]

What's really fun is when you ask "Does product A have gluten?" and someone replies "I called the company and they said nope, so enjoy!" and someone else replies "Oh, no, I called the company and they said it does! Crisis!" (Okay, I'm just being silly when I say 'crisis'. ) But I've had it happen (I've been one of the callees, and the original poster.)

Yea...good times