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You're Know You're A Celiac If...

chgomom

By chgomom
in Coping with Celiac Disease

Recommended Posts

chgomom Enthusiast
chgomom
Posted

You know you're a celiac if...

...you've ever been caught licking a discarded Twinkie wrapper.

...at Christmas, visions of guar gum dance in your head.

...you've ever had to give a doctor a crash course in Celiac 101.

...you weep at picnics, parties, receptions and fast food joints.

...you weep at breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

...you've ever "brown bagged it" to an elegant dinner engagement.

...a 7 Course Meal is a 1 Course Meal for you. Lettuce.

...you've installed floor-to-ceiling bookcases in your bathroom.

...you've ever driven more than 40 miles to buy flour or a cookie.

...it takes you 4 hours to grocery shop and your eyesight is

ruined.

...you hyperventilate when passing by the bakery counter.

...you've ever deliberately rammed your cart into a Shredded Wheat

display in a fit of rage.

...you've ever had to take out a loan to pay the grocery bill.

...you'd gladly pay any price for a pretzel that doesn't taste like

sawdust, or bread that doesn't taste like an old shoe.

...the centerpiece on your dining room table is a bread machine with memorial candles.

...your bread looks like a moon rock and tastes like dried out Play

Doh.

...your bread weighs more than any moon rock could possibly weigh.

...one of your primary goals in life is to create "Fake Oreo

Cookies".

...you've disinherited loved ones for putting their knife in your

mayo.

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  • Replies 112
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Guest Kathy Ann
Guest Kathy Ann
Posted

...you've brought a suitcase full of food with you on a cruise.

chgomom Enthusiast
chgomom
Posted
  • Author
...you've brought a suitcase full of food with you on a cruise.

*lol*

AndreaB Contributor
AndreaB
Posted

I don't have anything to add........ :lol::lol::lol:

Guest Kathy Ann
Guest Kathy Ann
Posted

I actually did that. And the airlines and the cruise line searched my suitcase twice! Probably thought I was a whacko. :blink:

AndreaB Contributor
AndreaB
Posted
I actually did that. And the airlines and the cruise line searched my suitcase twice! Probably thought I was a whacko. :blink:

:ph34r::blink::lol:

They obviously hadn't met too many celiacs.

chgomom Enthusiast
chgomom
Posted
  • Author

.........You pace and circle the store three or four times when deciding on a new product, pick it up look at the ingredients, each time. Only to leave without it, figuring why bother.

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ArtGirl Enthusiast
ArtGirl
Posted
.........You pace and circle the store three or four times when deciding on a new product, pick it up look at the ingredients, each time. Only to leave without it, figuring why bother.

Boy, do I relate to that. :blink:

LonelyWolf307 Rookie
LonelyWolf307
Posted

...your family thinks you're crazy for not tasting their new chocolate chocolate chip cookie recipe, because surely a little nibble couldn't hurt right?

Guest Kathy Ann
Guest Kathy Ann
Posted

.......your financial portfolio consists of stock in two major toilet paper companies.

.......you are up late at night trying to develop a recipe for pizza without flour, cheese, yeast, tomatoes, beef, garlic and oregano.

.......you can spell transglutaminase and dermetitis herpetiformis.

.......you just discovered how to make flour out of turnips.

.......you show up at the annual church pancake breakfast with a mask and sardine lettuce rollups

Kody Rookie
Kody
Posted
.......your financial portfolio consists of stock in two major toilet paper companies.

.......you are up late at night trying to develop a recipe for pizza without flour, cheese, yeast, tomatoes, beef, garlic and oregano.

.......you can spell transglutaminase and dermetitis herpetiformis.

.......you just discovered how to make flour out of turnips.

.......you show up at the annual church pancake breakfast with a mask and sardine lettuce rollups

hahahah... :lol:

I can't think of anything... I've only been a certified Celiac for three days now. :(

Guest Kathy Ann
Guest Kathy Ann
Posted

Don't worry......you'll get your sense of humor back! :D:D

Kody Rookie
Kody
Posted
Don't worry......you'll get your sense of humor back! :D:D

Uh, I hope so... always being sick kinda ruins your life in general. <_<

AndreaB Contributor
AndreaB
Posted

Kathy Ann,

Those are great!

:lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol:

Kody Rookie
Kody
Posted

...... you carry an ingredient list everywhere you go :( at least I do... hah

...... you buy cookies at a water store

Guest Kathy Ann
Guest Kathy Ann
Posted

See? Now you're getting the hang of it! :D:D

Drama-Queen Rookie
Drama-Queen
Posted

....having solid poop is the highlight of your day.

....you have actually doodled a new cartoon dog on your notes named "Sprue"

.....you have a sign in your kitchen saying "Gluten free environment"

.....you have actually considered using a gluten-free bagel for a hockey puck

:P

Guest melannen
Guest melannen
Posted
....having solid poop is the highlight of your day.

:P

hahahaha

There was another thread like this awhile ago (I just found it yesterday). Check it out Open Original Shared Link

jaten Enthusiast
jaten
Posted

You have to buy extra memory for your Treo to be able to carry all your gluten-free food and restaurant suggestions

angel-jd1 Community Regular
angel-jd1
Posted
.......you can spell transglutaminase and dermetitis herpetiformis.

haha just incase you are practicing the spelling.............................dermAtitis herpetiformis :lol:

marciab Enthusiast
marciab
Posted

...you've mastered saying "I actually enjoy MY food" ... without your face twitching ... :D Marcia

chgomom Enthusiast
chgomom
Posted
  • Author

you've gotten in the habit of looking in the toilet everytime you go, as though its a crystal ball.

TriticusToxicum Explorer
TriticusToxicum
Posted

...you know all about xanthan gum and its uses.

...you have ever dreamt about Wonder Bread.

2kids4me Contributor
2kids4me
Posted

... you hide the gluten-free cookies when guests come over, so they dont eat them.

tarnalberry Community Regular
tarnalberry
Posted

You read the ingredient label on green tea - plain green tea.

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