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Has Anyone Else Done This?


Kyalesyin

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Kyalesyin Apprentice

I decided when my wife was diagnosed that the best way of doing things was for us both to go entirely gluten-free. That way, we minimise the risk of cross-contamination or fiid mix ups, and we don't end up with me eating things that she wants can can't have...

I have toast cravings. I'm so tempted to walk to the nearest shop and get me a loaf of bread, even though we have a sign in the kitchen politely reminding people that this is a gluten-free zone. But, I did promise.

Right now, I'm resenting that promise somewhat. Anyone else get this?


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gfp Enthusiast

Hey, Im on the other side of the fence.... but I think its normal....

IMHO you should stand by it and if you want a toast find a cafe....

A different viewpoint, imagine you both quit smoking.... you're craving a cig... would it be fair to buy a packet and not say?

Your support and going along probably is a great boost for your wife.... so why do it?

Just my two penneth....

CarlaB Enthusiast

We are gluten-free at home. All the rest of the family will eat gluten when they're not home (except for two gluten-free kids). I have no problem at all with hubby eating gluten when he's away. The idea of being gluten-free at home is to protect me.

We live in an old downtown of a city on the same block as main street. There's a donut shop on the opposite corner of the block we're on (I've always thought that was funny as we live in the Cincinnati metropolitan area and there's that song, "Oh, I went to Cincinnati and I walked around the block, and I walked right in to the donut shop", I digress). For a treat the gluten eating kids go there often. In fact, I believe my high school son goes there daily.

I have no temptation whatsoever when he eats gluten in front of me. In fact, sometimes I ask to smell it and have come to realize a smell is enough.

On the other hand, when we're out on a "date" without the kids, he does not eat gluten. :rolleyes: That is because he generally has intentions of kissing me. ;):P

I would suggest that when you're away from home you treat yourself to gluten. Resentment is not good, and there's no sense in having resentment over something like this. My feeling is that this is my problem. If it were him who had gluten intolerance, I would not like never eating gluten, so I don't expect him to do that for me. His support is protecting me at home, not complaining about our limitations on eating out, and not eating it on date night.

When he eats gluten in front of me, he does not coddle me, feel sorry for me, or apologize. In fact, sometimes he'll tease me and take a big bite. So I ask him for a bite, he says no I can't have any and takes another. To me, this is better than pity. I guess if I wanted a sensitive guy, I'd have married someone else! :lol::lol:

JennyC Enthusiast

I'm sure that you wife really appreciates that you have also undertaken this diet to support her. You're only human, and if you don't have a medical reason not to eat gluten, I think that it would be hard to refrain. I personally don't think that there's anything wrong with eating gluten when you're away from home and your wife. You should not sneak around, though. You should be upfront and honest.

Jestgar Rising Star

On the other hand...

If you go completely gluten-free for 6 months to a year, you will have a much better understanding of what she's going through. When SHE wants toast, you'll know what substituting gluten-free toast feels like. When SHE wants to learn how to make gluten-free donuts, you'll be much more willing to go through the hassle of learning how because YOU want some too.

My guess is you agreed to do this because you love her and want to support her. Go the extra mile and go through the depressing deprivation stage with her as well.

CarlaB Enthusiast

Jestgar, you make a good point.

In the end, Kyalesyin, why don't you talk to your wife about how she feels. You have people like me who don't want others to be deprived because of my gluten intolerance and who really aren't too upset about being gluten-free ... it's easy for me because I don't like eating that much anyway! Then you have people who would greatly appreciate your sensitivity and sacrifice to understand how they feel.

Which one is your wife? If she's like me, there's no benefit whatsoever to avoiding gluten when you're not together. If she's not, she might be greatly hurt that you can't follow the diet when she's stuck with it for life.

Kyalesyin Apprentice
Jestgar, you make a good point.

In the end, Kyalesyin, why don't you talk to your wife about how she feels. You have people like me who don't want others to be deprived because of my gluten intolerance and who really aren't too upset about being gluten-free ... it's easy for me because I don't like eating that much anyway! Then you have people who would greatly appreciate your sensitivity and sacrifice to understand how they feel.

Which one is your wife? If she's like me, there's no benefit whatsoever to avoiding gluten when you're not together. If she's not, she might be greatly hurt that you can't follow the diet when she's stuck with it for life.

My wife is still at the depressed phase. We've been gluten free for the best part of eight months now, and I haven't gone near it for six, but she's still struggling somewhat. Whenever we go past a bakery, or a cafe, or even see an ad with someone eating bread she gets gloomy and irritable. Me cutting out all wheat products as well was a way to remove all the temptation from the house. She has actually sleepwalked into the kitchen and made herself toast before, when I still had bread hanging about. Sad thing is, I seem to be better at this than her, even though it doesn't benefit me at all [apart from the fact that I've lost some weight].

I'm hoping its just a phase, like her "I'll jump off the harbour before I give up bread!" moments, and she'll be able to laugh at her condition. At the moment though, its getting tough to handle when I know that I can indulge my cravings and not get hurt.


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CarlaB Enthusiast

If that's the way she feels, I'd avoid it for the time being.

Does she take anything for her depression? St. John's Wort is very helpful to me. Friends noticed when I started taking it even though I hadn't told them ... hubby noticed when I stopped. Apparently it makes a big difference.

If she's on any type of medication, check for interactions.

Jestgar Rising Star

Start baking.

Maybe you can change her immediate response from: :( I can't have that :angry: ,

to: :unsure: how can I make that? :)

Kyalesyin Apprentice
If that's the way she feels, I'd avoid it for the time being.

Does she take anything for her depression? St. John's Wort is very helpful to me. Friends noticed when I started taking it even though I hadn't told them ... hubby noticed when I stopped. Apparently it makes a big difference.

If she's on any type of medication, check for interactions.

St John Wort? I'll write that down. Other people have recomended that we take extra vitamins and such, but I've always been a little resistant to taking any kind of supplemet, especially considering that all our food is cooked fresh and I've read that if you take too many it can cause liver damage.

CarlaB Enthusiast
St John Wort? I'll write that down. Other people have recomended that we take extra vitamins and such, but I've always been a little resistant to taking any kind of supplemet, especially considering that all our food is cooked fresh and I've read that if you take too many it can cause liver damage.

St. Johns Wort is specifically for depression. It's an herb. As far as I know the only side effect is light sensitivity. Depression can be an effect of celiac, and since it can be a chemical issue, rather than sadness, sometimes you need something for it.

Jestgar Rising Star

It also interferes with some prescription meds. Be sure to tell your doc that you're taking it.

Ursa Major Collaborator
St John Wort? I'll write that down. Other people have recomended that we take extra vitamins and such, but I've always been a little resistant to taking any kind of supplemet, especially considering that all our food is cooked fresh and I've read that if you take too many it can cause liver damage.

Because of malabsorption, usually people with celiac disease who had been sick for quite a while are very deficient in some essential nutrients. It would be a good idea for your wife to be tested for levels of ferritin, vitamin D, calcium, magnesium, vitamin K and vitamin B12. For instance a lack of vitamin D all in itself can cause depression! And I think some of the others can, too.

If you know exactly what needs to be supplemented (at least until levels return to normal), you can just buy those specific vitamins/minerals to take. It could make a huge difference in your wife's moods.

St. John's Wort is a great idea if it's been shown that no deficiencies exist.

2Boys4Me Enthusiast
It also interferes with some prescription meds. Be sure to tell your doc that you're taking it.

Like birth control pills. A lot of "miracle babies" have been born while on the pill when the mom is taking St. John's wort.

darlindeb25 Collaborator

A lot of "miracle babies" have been born while on the pill OOOOOOOOOOO I will have to tell my daughter she is a miracle baby. I always told her she was a wonderful surprise, she is the youngest of 5, the other 4 all boys! I was taking birth control pills and my body was not absorbing them. The doctor looked at me when we figured out I was pregnant again and said, "99% safe and you have to be the 1!!!!!" Yeah, I was sick with celiac's 24 years ago, well, even before that.

Viola 1 Rookie
St John Wort? I'll write that down. Other people have recomended that we take extra vitamins and such, but I've always been a little resistant to taking any kind of supplemet, especially considering that all our food is cooked fresh and I've read that if you take too many it can cause liver damage.

I don't know how it is in the US, but here in Canada, most health food herbs etc. are not regulated as to how strong they can be, or how much actual medication you are getting, or even if they are totally gluten free etc. Also note, that the amounts given would be on how well a person is absorbing.

It is recommended by my doctor MD & surgeon, who is also Celiac, not to fool with un-regulated products.

Do your research :D

CarlaB Enthusiast
It is recommended by my doctor MD & surgeon, who is also Celiac, not to fool with un-regulated products.

Do your research :D

Docs tend to not like natural medicine (you don't need a prescription for them, so you're not reliant on a doctor to buy them). When I was taking my son to a psychologist for ADHD, the psychologist recommended St. John's Wort for depression.

Doing your research is a good idea with any information from any internet forum, but I would not base my decision on one MD. I'm actually more distrusting of them than internet forums, but that's due to my personal medical history.

Jestgar Rising Star
It is recommended by my doctor MD & surgeon, who is also Celiac, not to fool with un-regulated products.

Do your research

This is what every MD I've talked to also says. Not because of some huge pharmacy conspiracy, but because if you have a reaction to something, and you've taken an unregulated product, it may be impossible to figure out what caused the problem and/or how to treat it.

This doesn't mean there aren't safe products available, just be careful, and do your research.

Phyllis28 Apprentice

Although your house is gluten free, she needs to be able to cope with other people eating gluten laden food outside the house. She will be dealing with this the rest of her life. If your wife will go, you might want to consider contacting a mental health professional for her depression and counseling to help her mentally cope with a gluten free the diet.

My husband suffers from clinical depression and both medication and counseling have been a great help.

I applaud your support of your wife.

gfp Enthusiast
This is what every MD I've talked to also says. Not because of some huge pharmacy conspiracy, but because if you have a reaction to something, and you've taken an unregulated product, it may be impossible to figure out what caused the problem and/or how to treat it.

This doesn't mean there aren't safe products available, just be careful, and do your research.

While I agree wholeheartedly .... this is definately one case of Sophies choice!

Most of the prescription psychotropics are not particualrly safe either... or that well understood....

Doctors tend to hand them out like candy until a specific one gets banned or more heavily regulated...

Its my opinion as a layman but also the opinion of a friend of mine who's a trained physchiatrist and just happened to have a friend who got put on these drugs that they are pretty risky all round...

After doing my own research I find St. Johns Wort generally a bit safer but obviously something you should do your own research on first.

debmidge Rising Star

As a mixed marriage (celiac and non celiac) we do it this way: house is about 95% gluten-free with exception of pre-packaged Lean Cuisines in freezer which get popped in microwave and do not contaminate anything. I keep a loaf of regular whole wheat bread for me for my lunches and I make my lunch every morning making sure to keep table wiped well afterwards. We keep separate toasters and mine is packed away in cabinet in a heavy duty plastic bag. So far I've used it about 5 times in the past 3 years for toast. I do use the gluten-free bread for toast more often than not, but that might have to change soon as soon I'll have a job that makes less money and won't be able to afford both of us to eat these specialty gluten-free products.

My husband's response to this: he's not going to keep me from eating what I want in my own home

My response: I'll do what I must to keep gluten out of the house within reason

This approach works for us. But also keep in mind that I do not have any children which can factor in as well.

MistressIsis Apprentice

I do the smell thing too! All the time! in facr, my friends will ask me if I want a smell...very funny when we're in public places.

be patient she will get past the angry part, it takes awhile...probably took me a year as I lived on breads & pastas.

Make her some surprise bags...go gt some gluten-free treats that people here mention all the time and you know she'll appreciate that and feel like she's not missing out on anything. (that's the big thing, missing out)

My boyfriend of almost a year is finally starting to get it. He's always been supportive but just didn't realize how many things I can't eat. He came for a 5 day visit recently and I noticed he's started reading labels on everythig he picks up, he's still not perfect at what I can & can;t have but I found out recently that he's been doing research lately and his mom has been giving him info too...and I haven;t even met her yet!

kbtoyssni Contributor
St John Wort? I'll write that down. Other people have recomended that we take extra vitamins and such, but I've always been a little resistant to taking any kind of supplemet, especially considering that all our food is cooked fresh and I've read that if you take too many it can cause liver damage.

I know St Johns Wort can interfere with the effectiveness of birth control pills and maybe other meds, too. You might want run this by a doc before you start taking it if she is on any other meds. Omega-3 can be a good supplement to help with depression, too.

dragonmom Apprentice

Try baking some of your old favorites, The Gluten Free Kitchen is a great book with great biscuits, corn bread and cinnamon rolls. When you have something that you like at home to eat sometimes helps. There is a frozen bread that I like a lot Enjoy Life Ryeless Rye, and sandwich bread. Everyone here eats gluten free when I'm home. If I'm at work they will order a pizza or go out and have Italian. The worst time for me is at parties when there is absolutely nothing to eat....even when I know that I have something in my pocket. It's only been 2 years but it is getting easier. Good luck

larry mac Enthusiast
I decided when my wife was diagnosed that the best way of doing things was for us both to go entirely gluten-free. That way, we minimise the risk of cross-contamination or fiid mix ups, and we don't end up with me eating things that she wants can can't have...

I have toast cravings. I'm so tempted to walk to the nearest shop and get me a loaf of bread, even though we have a sign in the kitchen politely reminding people that this is a gluten-free zone. But, I did promise.

Right now, I'm resenting that promise somewhat. Anyone else get this?

K,

Don't know if I can truly get it as I'm the one with the disease, but hey, good intentions on your part.

That never occurred to us. I'm the grocery shopper and the cook, so I make toast, flour tacos (corn for me), rolls, get pizza, all kinds of gluten foods for my darling wife (looky there I spelled it out - no silliness here, yeah right, lol :wacko: ). I don't have a problem with it at all.

best regards, lm

p.s., sure wish I had some sugar toast!

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Examples: • I wash my hands 20–30 times a day — before eating, after touching anything at home or outside, after using my phone/laptop. • I don’t let others touch my phone, and I’m scared to use my laptop because friends at school or my brother (who eat gluten) have touched it. And it annoys me a lot when others touch my stuff and feels like it got contaminated and is unsafe instantly. • I stopped eating while using my phone or laptop, afraid of invisible gluten being on them. • I wash my hands after opening food packaging (since it was on store cashier belts where gluten food is placed). • I avoid sitting anywhere except my bed or one clean chair. • I won’t shake hands with anyone or walk past people eating gluten. • At school, when switching classes, I wash my hands before getting out my laptop, again before opening it, etc. • I open door knobs with my elbows instead my hands   Job Concerns (Powder Coating, Sandblasting, Etc.) I’m working a temporary job right now that involves: • Powder coating • Sandblasting • Wet spray painting • Anodizing There’s also a laboratory. I don’t need this job, and my OCD makes me believe that dust or air particles there might contain gluten somehow. Should I quit?   Doctors Haven’t Helped My family doctor told me: “Asymptomatic celiac isn’t serious, if you have no symptoms, your intestines won’t get damaged, so you don’t need a gluten-free diet.” I knew that was wrong, but he wasn’t open to listening. I just nodded and didn‘t argue. My gastroenterologist (who’s also a dietitian) said: „If your antibodies are negative, there’s no damage. It might even be okay to try small amounts of gluten later if antibodies stay negative.“ Also said, pepper that says “may contain gluten” is fine if it only contains pepper. She was more informed than my family doctor but didn’t seem to fully understand celiac either.   Questions I Need Help With 1. Is it realistically safe to eat food my mom cooks, if we get separate pans/ and boards even if gluten is still used in the same kitchen? There will always be low risk of cc chances like that she will still touch stuff that was touched by her and my siblings after they ate gluten. And as there are gluten eaters in the house and she also prepares and eats gluten. So would opening the fridge then getting the food and touching the food be okay? So basically what i am doing, washing my hands multiple times while preparing food, she would only wash it once before, then touch anything else (for example water tap or handles) that were touched with gluteny hands, then also touch the food. I dont know if I ever could feel safe, I could try telling her how important cc really is. And I trust her so she wouldnt lie to me then be careless about cc, but idk how safe it really can be if she and everyone else keeps eating gluten and touching stuff in the house after eating. 2. Do I need to worry about touching doorknobs, fridge handles, light switches, etc. that family members touched after eating gluten? What about public places like bus handles or school desks? Or like if i went to the gym, I would be touching stuff all the time, so there will be small amounts of gluten and those would get transferred on my phone if I touch my phone while in the gym. But I want to knos if it would be enough to do damage. 3. Is an endoscopy (without biopsy) enough to tell if my intestines are healed? I’d pay privately if it could help and if i dont get a refferal. Or do i need a biopsy? 4. Could my job (powder coating, sandblasting, etc.) expose me to gluten or damage my intestines through air/dust? 5. Do I need certified gluten-free toothpaste, hand soap, shampoo, or moisturizer? (For example: Vaseline and Colgate don’t contain gluten ingredients but say they can’t guarantee it’s gluten-free.) 6. Is spices like pepper with “may contain traces of gluten” safe if no gluten ingredients are listed? Or does everything need to be labeled gluten-free?  7. Is continuing to only eat my own food the better choice, or could I eventually go back to eating what my mom cooks if she’s careful? 8. is cutlery from dishwasher safe if there are stains? Stuff like knives is used for cutting gluten bread or fork for noodles etc. I often see stains which i dont know if its gluten or something else but our dish washer doesnt seem to make it completely clean. 9. I wash my hands multiple times while preparing food. Do i need to do the same when touching my phone. Like if i touch the fridge handle, I wash my hands then touch the phone. I dont eat while using my phone but i leave it on my bed and pillow and my face could come in contact with where it was.  10. Do i need to clean my phone or laptop if theyve been used by people who eat gluten? Even if no crumbs fall onto my keybaord, i mean because of invisible gluten on their fingers. 11. Does medication/supplements have to be strictly glutenfree? One company said they couldn‘t guarantee if their probiotics don’t contain traces of gluten.  12. I had bought supplements in the past, some of them say glutenfree and some of them dont(like the brand „NOW“ from iherb). I bought them and used them when i wasnt washing my hands so often, are they still safe? As I touched and opened them after touching door knobs, water taps etc. It was like a year ago when i bought those and even though i was eating gluten-free, I never worried about what i touch etc. I know this post is long. I’m just extremely overwhelmed. I’m trying to protect myself from long-term health damage, but the OCD is destroying my quality of life, and I honestly don’t know what’s a reasonable level of caution anymore. Thanks for reading.
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