Depressed--is This Worth It?

[beoptimistic]

This is my first post on this site. (and after looking it over, I appologize for its length!)

I was convinced to get tested for celiac by my Dad, who has had a lot of trouble, and so have many of my relatives, but now I'm regretting it. I'm 22 and don't have full blown celiac, but I am gluten-intolerant, cassein (cow's milk) intolerant, egg, soy and yeast intolerant! I cut all of them out of my diet in the last couple months (although I'm becoming more lenient about eggs and yeast) and am discovering that milk and soy seem to make me feel the worst (as I've found when I have a little bit by accident--or on purpose because I got so frustrated.) I suspect that I react to peanut butter/peanuts as well, which are related to soy. I haven't cheated on gluten at all yet, so we'll see what happens once I reintroduce it to check how I feel.

The only thing is, I've been so depressed about being restricted that I haven't been able to observe any clear benefits. My symptoms were eczema, joint pain, moodiness, anxiety, painful and irregular menstral cycle, difficulty focusing--but since I don't have severe GI symptoms it's extremely hard to stay motivated. All of those other symptoms are tolerable and some can be cured with prescriptions (e.g. topical steroid for eczema, the pill for menstral problems) and so I can't help but wonder if giving up all these foods is really worth it. I know the long term effects, but on some level I think I'm young and I can wait and do this diet later. I know I shoudln't think that way, especially because my Mom now has MS, which some suspect may develop as a result of long term abuse to the body from food allergies, and my Dad is convinced she's gluten intolerant but she hasn't been tested--although I have both genes for it so I know she has one. Point is--I'm in a battle between knowing the long term effects, and having such a difficult time that I'm not sure it's all that worth it, at least right now.

Food is/was my life! If I eat any more chips and salsa or rice cakes, I'm gonna flip out. And I'm constantly food shopping and in the kitching concocting cookie recipes and the like. I also have a lot of cravings for things I can't have, and so instead I eat things I can have, but it never satisfies me so I keep eating it thinking it eventually will, and I end up binging and feeling worse. My mind is consumed with thoughts of food.

I also am in college, and it's so difficult not to be able to have beer anymore, or the kinds of liquor I like. And to not be able to eat out with friends, or celebrate with food! I don't like drawing attention to myself and I'm still not assertive enough at restaurants, so the idea of eating out causes a lot of anxiety for me. Last weekend, my boyfriend and I went to his favorite place for his birthday. He said it's ok that I can cook and we can stay in--but I insisted. I had already eaten before we left so I didn't order anything. I watched him order all different kinds of good foreign beer and eat peirogies (my fav!) a huge buttery steak and mashed potatoes. I had to hold back my tears--half way through the meal I caved and ordered some tortilla chips and pico de gallo, but it wasn't what I wanted and I wasn't even hungry.

This has been so hard, and I get all kinds of advice from my dad and uncles. It's very overwhelming, especially since each one of them thinks they're some kind of expert on the subject. I love my Dad and all, but I really wish I could get the advice of a doctor, b/c I want some good objective scientific information about what I'm doing to my body if I give up on this diet.

Does anyone know what kind of doctor I should seek out? Allergist? Gastroenterologist? Nutritionist? I go to school in DC, my Dad lives in the Philadelphia area, and my Mom lives in Iowa, so if anyone knows good doctors in those regions, let me know.

But in the meantime, how do I cope with the depression? How do I get my mind from being obsessed with food?

help!

(sorry this is so long--haha, I doubt I'll get many replies!)

[Nancym]

(sorry this is so long--haha, I doubt I'll get many replies!)

Boy, you've got a really negative mind-set, no wonder you feel so hopeless.

First, you're a foodie so indulge your foodie inclinations! That's what I did. I searched out things I could eat and figured out how to make them even better. You might want to check into the Paleo diet, it is similar to your list of foods. Loren Cordain's book is good, although I don't agree with his obsession over saturated fat. And there's lots of recipes for treats online. The overeating might also be caused by eating such a high carbohydrate diet, it spurs me onto it. If I make sure I have a great source of protein with each meal then I don't get that urge to eat constantly.

You might want to not go strict with your list of foods right off the bat. Narrow it down to ones you're sure you react badly to and don't be so strict with the other ones.

You might also want to check into using fermented foods to get good probiotic stuff down to your gut and use l-glutamine to help with the leaky gut issues. I think my coconut milk kefir and l-glutamine really helped out. I can now eat some things that I seemed to be sensitive to before.

Finally try to pin down which foods make you worse, an elimination diet might work.

Then keep your mind open that it might not be entirely food issues. You might have other things going on, like bacteria overgrowth in the small intestine, h. pylori or something else. But tackle the part you can first.

[larry mac]

bo,

Not being knowlegable about everything you have, I'd like to just make one comment regarding eating out. Instead of trying to eat before and planning to just sit and watch others eat, make sure the place you go has something you can order. I don't see in your post that you can't have steak or chicken. Maybe not buttery steak, but what about simple meats and vegetables? Come up with a strategy, have a plan ready.

best regards, lm

[Lisa]

Go out and treat yourself to Red Bridge Beer...it's gluten free, tastes good and you can be part of the crowd again.

Whenever I know that I wil be out, I always take my own salad dressing with me. Salads are almost always available. I have also order hambergers with out the bun, steamed seafood...

Austins Grill - 750 E. Street

Buca di Beppo - 1825 Connecticut Ave

The Capital Grille - 601 Penn Avenue

Hard Rock - 999 E Street

Legal Seafoods - 704 7th St/2020 K Street

All have GLUTEN FREE MENUS!!! You live in a big city with alot of people with dietary issues. I would bet that most restuarants are familuar with eating gluten free. Scout out a few between lunch and dinner times and talk with the cheif or manager.

Eating gluten free, is only as hard as you make it. It is very doable. Hang in there and get yourself some beer!!

[missy'smom]

Where does your mom live in Iowa? My sister lives there and recently I was searching for her. I came across a listing of support groups. If you contact one they may be able to help you find a doc.

Open Original Shared Link has a discussion and some info.

Open Original Shared Link has a list of support groups

It is worth it! Hang in there. We all struggle with the same things. It does get better.

[tarnalberry]

It sounds like you may need to expand your diet and give your taste buds time to adjust. This will give you more options (no more eating chips and salsa all the time) and will help reduce the cravings for 'bad' things (though possibly to replace them by cravings for 'good' things ). Lots of creativity in the cooking can help, as well as being willing to branch out and try things that you might not otherwise want to, just because it's something you can eat.

As for beer/liquor, there are a number of both you can have, and very few liquors are actually off limits. It might be worth checking into.

[UR Groovy]

Hi,

I know this is tough - especially when you're so young & don't have problems now. Let me tell you what's toughest for me: losing my 20's. I'm 39. I can't say whether I would have had the drive to do it when I was that young, but if I only knew what I know now. I spent all of my 20's and most of my 30's battling anxiety, depression, and symptoms I couldn't explain - I can assure you this: if I had dropped gluten & dairy, things would have been very different. I dropped out of college (get this) 3 times - never finished. As a kid, I was honors. Don't let this happen to you, dear. Once you're here (older, and looking back at your 20's), you'll wonder why you didn't do what it took to combat it when you were young. I'm not like most of the others. I don't have daily pain - what I live with every day is the fear of sudden death due to my specific condition.

Beer: Like Momma said, Redbridge is great. I missed being able to have beers too. You should have seen the smile on my face when I had my first sip.

Also, I like the previous advice to not give everything up right out of the gate. Work on one or two things: for me, gluten & dairy are about all I can handle now - dairy's even iffy sometimes - it's just too much for me - maybe it's too much for you too. I think over time, you can get to the soy, eggs, whatever - me too. My opinion: Gluten is paramount.

As you walk through this, you'll get more accustomed to it. You'll slowly learn coping techniques. You'll find out where you can go for a night out. You'll learn to appreciate the food you're eating. Take it easy and you'll be fine.

You can do this. I'm pulling for you. If I were only 20 again. You have to believe in yourself, and you have to know that you are worth it - you are worth it.

One last thing (boy, I'm writing a book, here, sorry) Maybe seeing a naturopath or someone who can assess any vitamin/mineral deficiencies would be helpful. I'd be willing to bet you're deficient in a few.

Take care of yourself - Take it one step at a time.

[missy'smom]

Good advice from fajitas. She said everything that I was thinking too. I'm 37 and feel much the same way.

[kbtoyssni]

The thing I've found with this disease it that it slowly creeps up on you and takes away your life. For me it was such a slow process that I didn't realize what I was losing until I was completely unable to function.

You should start cooking. I find cooking to be more of a personal challenge now. I'm always trying to tweak recipes to make things taste yummy - I was never ever that adventurous before. I love when my friends like my gluten-free food. A lot of people are skeptical that gluten-free can taste good so I like to prove them wrong and prove that gluten-free is not a death sentence. Maybe start cooking for them and invite them over for dinner rather than eating out. Or start planning non-food events.

I also look at eating out as a social thing. It is not at all about the food for me anymore. It's about hanging out with people and I could care less about the food - I fact, I often bring my own food to restaurants. The only time I wish I could join in is when we order a late night pizza. So I usually keep a frozen pizza in all my friends' fridges so I can pop one in the oven when they order one.

You can get gluten-free beer. Besides whiskey and maybe a few other random brands of alcohol, you can drink nearly every kind of liquor.

You do have a lot of intolerances so it will take some adjustment. It's going to be tough to recondition your reaction to food and its place within your life. Recruit people around you to help. If there are situations (like the eating out scenario you talked about) that make you completely miserable, ask them if you can not do those things for a while. It sounds like your boyfriend is more than willing to eat at home with you - take advantage of that! Why would you want to make yourself miserable going out when you've got a supportive guy who just wants to spend time with you and obviously doesn't mind where and what you eat as long as you're together?

[WLJOHNSON]

Hi,

I'm so sorry that you are feeling so bad, so I want to show you the picture of Celiac from the opposite end of the spectrum: I am 62 years old now and have had symptoms of Celiac since age 8. Asthma, wheezing, bronchitis, pneumonia and hospital stays were regular parts of my life until I finally realized that gluten intolerance, allergies to all milk & dairy, egg whites and yeast were to blame for my being sick, only about 20 years ago. My uncle J.L and my dad both died of colon cancer, now linked with Celiac. No one knew in years past much about this disease. I spent most of my money on doctors and hospitals, with relief coming in the form of medicines, drugs and more medicines, all with unwanted side effects. I was usually sick, and didn't know what to do!

Now, I see you as incredibly fortunate to know at age 20 what is causing your symptoms, and to have parents and family who know about Celiac, so they can help you through. Since going gluten-free and eliminating all those other foods from my diet, I feel as though I am being given a second chance. The good part--my grandson, sister and cousin have recently been diagnosed as well, so all my suffering helps me help them. "Man does not live by bread alone..."

Here's where all of those of us who have this condition can begin to work together: estimates are that one of every 133 Americans has Celiac! You have the answer to their suffering. I spend a good deal of my time creating new recipes of all kinds and working to find new products that are allowed on this diet. Each day new foods arrive to give me joy. There are so many more foods now than ever before, and there are sure to be more in the future.

It's really like being on an adventure--how well can we do with what we have? I wish you the best in your quest to live life to the fullest, and if you'd like to email me at wljohnson1@peoplepc.com please do! Welda

[beoptimistic]

Where does your mom live in Iowa? My sister lives there and recently I was searching for her. I came across a listing of support groups. If you contact one they may be able to help you find a doc.

Open Original Shared Link has a discussion and some info.

Open Original Shared Link has a list of support groups

It is worth it! Hang in there. We all struggle with the same things. It does get better.

My Mom lives in Mason City; although, I have aunts and uncles in Ames, Des Moines and Iowa City as well. Thanks for that info, I will look into it!

[beoptimistic]

Thanks to everybody who responded! This is such an active website!

Your words are very helpful and comforting. This is a difficult struggle and I know I will continue to have these low points, but it helps to know that I acheiving a more positive outlook is possible, and actually ver necessary. All of you choose to see your lives as changed for the better and enjoy discovering a new world of alternatives, as opposed to feeling stifled and horribly limited. It is an attitude that I hope I can adopt.

Some of you expressed the desire to have known about celiac earlier, like at my age, and that you would have loved to have started the diet and felt better sooner. One of you even mentioned having dropped out of school as a result of some of your difficulties. Sharing those feelings and experiences was helpful to me. I am about to graduate from GW and am deciding among UVA, Georgetown, UMich and GW law schools for next fall. I know it will be a challenge (academically) and thought that going on this diet would make me feel so much better and that I would be able to focus and succeed in law school moreso than I would otherwise. Now that the diet itself is causing so much anxiety, I have been questioning whether I would feel better on the diet, or off of it, so that food is not such a stressor in my life. After hearing your feelings on the matter, I can see the benefit of sticking with it.

Perhaps by August, I will have better adjusted to this new lifestyle and begin to recognize its benefits.

I certainly hope so! Maybe this forum and finding a doctor can help me adjust along the way.

so thanks again for your advice! I know I'll have to revisit this forum occaissionally to remind myself of some of your words of wisdom.

By the way, I have been confused about what exactly I can drink as far as alcoholic beverages are concerned. I know I can have vodka, wine, tequila, and clear rum. I've heard Maker's Mark is safe--does that go for all bourbon?

[NoGluGirl]

Thanks to everybody who responded! This is such an active website!

Your words are very helpful and comforting. This is a difficult struggle and I know I will continue to have these low points, but it helps to know that I acheiving a more positive outlook is possible, and actually ver necessary. All of you choose to see your lives as changed for the better and enjoy discovering a new world of alternatives, as opposed to feeling stifled and horribly limited. It is an attitude that I hope I can adopt.

Some of you expressed the desire to have known about celiac earlier, like at my age, and that you would have loved to have started the diet and felt better sooner. One of you even mentioned having dropped out of school as a result of some of your difficulties. Sharing those feelings and experiences was helpful to me. I am about to graduate from GW and am deciding among UVA, Georgetown, UMich and GW law schools for next fall. I know it will be a challenge (academically) and thought that going on this diet would make me feel so much better and that I would be able to focus and succeed in law school moreso than I would otherwise. Now that the diet itself is causing so much anxiety, I have been questioning whether I would feel better on the diet, or off of it, so that food is not such a stressor in my life. After hearing your feelings on the matter, I can see the benefit of sticking with it.

Perhaps by August, I will have better adjusted to this new lifestyle and begin to recognize its benefits.

I certainly hope so! Maybe this forum and finding a doctor can help me adjust along the way.

so thanks again for your advice! I know I'll have to revisit this forum occaissionally to remind myself of some of your words of wisdom.

By the way, I have been confused about what exactly I can drink as far as alcoholic beverages are concerned. I know I can have vodka, wine, tequila, and clear rum. I've heard Maker's Mark is safe--does that go for all bourbon?

Dear beoptimistic,

I am 24. I have spent half of my life suffering from this disease. Doctors just told me I was crazy, even after all of the horrific testing I endured. Sometimes I wonder if I will ever emotionally recover. When my holistic physician diagnosed me, I was just grateful I finally had an answer to the hell I have suffered all of my life. As a result of a week immune system, I have an overgrowth of Candida yeast as well. I was on the evil trifecta to cause yeast to go crazy: steroids for asthma, between 2-4 courses of antibiotics per year from birth until the age of 17, and birth control for ovarian cysts and anemia from heavy periods. You know why I am not in law school right now? Because I was kicked out of school my junior year of high school for being sick. Our local school corporation could not care less about the welfare of the students. On top of this, I was doped up on every freaking pill known to man and forced to go to psychotherapy because doctors are arrogant and stupid. They nearly killed me! My gallbladder went bad because of this disease. I was able to complete high school later, and I am very close to obtaining my Associate's degree now. I wish I could have been diagnosed sooner. The sooner you find out with this, the better chance you have of living a good life. Gastric cancers, MS, gallbladder disease, diabetes, and Leaky Gut Syndrome are just a handful of diseases caused by Celiac. I know what it is like to have food lust. I cannot have yeast, dairy, or gluten. However, it does not take much to prevent me from temptation. I get violently ill from gluten, so I never eat it on purpose. Sometimes it takes up to 12 hours to react, but when it hits, it is really horrible. I break out in a sweat, get unbearably nauseated, have the sudden need to have a bowel movement, start shaking, sometimes my hands go numb, and if I do not get a promethazine down fast enough, I start getting dry heaves that make me feel like my insides are emploding. I know how you feel when others eat what you cannot have in front of you. It sucks. My favorite is Chinese food, and I would go to my room and cry when he brought it home. Homemade is great though. I am going to make me some very soon! Chinese food is my lifeblood practically. It is hard not to get discouraged at times. However, the consequences are too dire in my case. I have programmed my brain to view gluten containing foods as poison. I pretty much automatically overlook them now, as if they are a can of Raid! I miss Cheez-Its, but not how ill I got when I ate them! Anyway, I hope this makes you feel a little better.

Sincerely,

NoGluGirl

[flowergirl]

There is an interesting theory that I've been playing around with in my head about gluten intolerance. I am starting to think that we have the order of events and the origin of all these problems wrong.

A prolonged bad lifestyle of stress, the pill, anti-biotics, junk food, lack of proper food, agricultural practises, chlorine in our water etc causes dysbiosis in the gut, then candida overgrowth occurs, then leaky gut because the fungus sinks its tendrils and finally systemic candida. Throught this process we are then presented with symptoms like food allergies, food intolerances (gluten intolerance), depression, neurological symptoms, hormone imbalance, liver failure, diabetes etc... because our gut lining and immune system is compromised.

It looks like the bigger picture to me... I think getting candida firmly under control may be the first step to recovery. Consider it.

See this: Open Original Shared Link

Regards Flowergirl

[Lisa]

Maker's Mark is on the good list and Seagram's 7.

[snowcoveredheart]

hey

i have massive sympathy for you sweetie, i have BP and trying to get Gluten free (Im also lactose intollerent) is driving me crazy (ier). I have had loads of issues with food stuffs over the years and i am finding it insane creating to have to cook everything dfrom scratch every day and not reverting bad to old habits, however its easier to say and deal with when your up and happy. Right now im still in the middle of a depression period and have been for the last six months at least, trying to find the motivation to stick with this diet and try to find the omphs to not reach for the easy comfort of food is hard, and i have slipped really badly this week. But like everyone esle on this board will tell you, its about lifetiem changes, that eventually work better things into your life and system. Its just worth remebering that it will amke you feel worse before better - whicle all the toxins work out and the blood suagrs get stablised and so on, thats the hardest part i find.

i hope it get better for you and you stick with it.

[NoGluGirl]

Dear flowergirl,

I agree with that theory. I have done a lot of research on Candida. You were speaking of the mycelial form, correct? When its tendrils sink into your cells. That is when it becomes systematic. Its pathology is fascinating. I actually wrote an essay on it for school. I have been on the trifecta from Hell to cause it between antibiotics, steroids or asthma, and birth control. Then you add all kinds of other things like stress and environmental factors, you really see how my body has been through a beating.

Dear snowcoveredheart,

Making everything from scratch is exhausting. I have gone through that too! Even worse is you wear yourself out having to wash your hands and cooking tools excessively. You are like me where you are stuck sharing a kitchen with non-Celiac relatives. It is so difficult. You have to worry every bite you take could make you ill. My blood sugar is another problem I have. I cannot stabilize mine well, either. I tried going low-carb, and that made me shake all over and stuff.

Sincerely,

NoGluGirl

[flowergirl]

I agree with that theory. I have done a lot of research on Candida. You were speaking of the mycelial form, correct? When its tendrils sink into your cells. That is when it becomes systematic.

Yes NoGluGirl. I actually found an ariticle that states that food intolerances & allergies are CAUSED by Candida's leaky gut. Open Original Shared Link

So if Candida overgrowth is on top of the food chain causing these symptoms shouldn't we rather be focussing our attention on getting rid of Candida, instead of trying to cope with Celiacs' symptoms? Makes you think doesn't it. I wish I had all the answers.

Regards Sunflower

PS: I also experience depression but I am having a mind shift here... I think the candida overgrowth is causing it.

[NoGluGirl]

Yes NoGluGirl. I actually found an ariticle that states that food intolerances & allergies are CAUSED by Candida's leaky gut. Open Original Shared Link

So if Candida overgrowth is on top of the food chain causing these symptoms shouldn't we rather be focussing our attention on getting rid of Candida, instead of trying to cope with Celiacs' symptoms? Makes you think doesn't it. I wish I had all the answers.

Regards Sunflower

PS: I also experience depression but I am having a mind shift here... I think the candida overgrowth is causing it.

Dear Sunflower,

My idea is that Candida can cause gluten intolerance, but not Celiac. There are genetic components at work as well. Candida is certainly the cause of Leaky-Gut in many cases, however, Celiac needs focused on just as much as Candida. You do not want to stay on a diet with gluten even when Candida is causing trouble. It still will damage your intestines. Gluten intolerance is unfortunately permanent even after the Candida is eradicated. Although, if someone has Candida and Celiac, or gluten intolerance, the person will only feel better on the gluten free diet for two or three months, and then return to being sick again.

I checked that site out, and bookmarked it that you provided. I must say the Candida is extremely important in overall health. Celiac is something I was probably born with. That was before I had the opportunity to take antibiotics, steroids, or birth control. One thing is for sure, once its claws are in you, you are in big trouble.

Sincerely,

NoGluGirl

P.S. You are likely correct that the Candida is causing your depression. It is linked to many psychological disorders, including Schizophrenia, Bipolar Disorder, Autism, and Alzheimer's, along with Anxiety and depression.

[pooter]

the depression seems to be a common thread among us Celiacs. The longer I've been gluten free, the longer I've been depression free... I like it. I'm a different person now. I don't even recognized that depressed sick person I was.

I also had systemic candida overgrowth and succesfully treated it with a Candida Cleanse regimen. I can't remember the company that makes it but it's a capsule and a liquid that you take daily combined with the candida cleanse diet. Sucked doing that AND gluten-free, but dang I feel better.

[beoptimistic]

All of this talk about candida is interesting. I don't know too much about it. Yeast is one of the things that my entero lab results said that I am intolerant to. Until now, I had been ignoring that. Having been newly diagnosed as gluten, cassein, egg soy and yeast intolerant I have been choosing my battles in order to maintain my sanity. I don't worry too much about the egg and yeast, but now that I learn all of this information about it, perhaps I should be paying more attention to the yeast factor.

I am having trouble finding good info on it, and am wondering whether there is a connection between the yeast that I consume in bread and things like that, and yeast infections in my body. I am a bit worried, I have been prone in the last couple years to getting yeast infections, and now that I'm off dairy, I can't consume yogurt/live cultures in order to help prevent them.

Any advice? Who should I talk to (doctor wise) or what should I read in order to evaluate what impact yeast might be having on me?

I'm also wondering, since yeast intolerance can result in many or the same symptoms as gluten intolerance, is that why I'm not feeling any better? I've been gluten free now for a couple of months--but am not recgonizing any obvious benefits.

(ps I don't have any leaky gut yet, i'm not celiac--I don't know if that makes any difference in the impact of the yeast)