Will The "giving Up" Ever End

[Guest hightop girl]

I am sorry... I think I just need to vent. I saw one of my docs today and he put me on an anti- autoimmune diet. The idea is that the inflamation from gluten as well as overgrowth of yeast and other allergies causes my autoimmune system to go hog wild. i have lots of autoimmune problems. My biggest fear is that soon I will just get to drink bottled water... Actually I guess i will live. I gave up fruit earlier this week and my bloating went away and I actually started to lose a few pounds. Now he wants me to give up nuts as well. That actually made me sad. i given up bread, all grains, pizza, fruit, dates, peanut butter, real beer, and now nuts. I may go nuts. Will all of this "giving up" ever end? I should feel grateful that I can control almost all of the autoimmune issues with diet. i should feel grateful that at the ripe old age of 43 I can bike 50 miles and then run 8, and get up and work the next day. I should feel grateful for a lot of things, but right now I wonder if this is worth it.

[constantly questioning]

I wish I could bike that far and then run that far. I get it...there are days when I am so angry and frustrated that I could cry just thinking about it. At first I felt so down and low because everytime I had to tell someone I couldn't eat something they would look at me and say the same thing. "Oh you can't eat anything with gluten....Oh you poor thing. Can you eat wheat pasta?" AHHHHHHHH

It has been three years and my mother still asks me what I can and can't eat....drives me nuts. And, the nuts....yeah. Sometimes they bother me terribly and sometimes not at all. I am not sure if it is a CC thing or the company or what....I ate peanuts three weeks ago, and they almost had to take me to the hospital. I am a true fan of peanuts, but I had to give them up. However, for some reason Smukers natural peanut butter does not bother me. I keep a list of what bothers me and what doesn't. Yes, there are days I am feeling the same way as you...but when I stick to my diet...and I learned what works and what doesn't...I feel really great again. The lousy feeling goes away. And, once you learn what you can eat, and you slowly add more stuff in...there is day when all of a sudden you realize that you don't have to give everything up, you just have to find its alternative. Hang in there.

[AliB]

I know how you feel. My stomach wouldn't let me eat a lot of those things so I had to really go basic. As it has started to heal, I have been introducing a few things back in and I am now putting on weight at a lb a day and I can't afford to do that! I had lost 2 stone prior to the gluten-free and have now put half a stone back on and I just don't want to be going there - I still need to be losing it!

I have allowed a few carbs and sugars to creep back in and I think that is probably the problem - but even when I was hardly eating any carbs at all I still couldn't shift the weight. It is so frustrating!

I have been following the Specific Carb diet but I was eating some nuts and raisins all the way through - maybe that stopped the weight from going. Carbs of any kind are a real no-no for me and I couldn't cope with dairy, so am at a loss as to what I can have, especially for breakfast and snacks!

Like you say, sometimes the only option seems to be water!

[roxie]

  hightop girl said:

I am sorry... I think I just need to vent. I saw one of my docs today and he put me on an anti- autoimmune diet. The idea is that the inflamation from gluten as well as overgrowth of yeast and other allergies causes my autoimmune system to go hog wild. i have lots of autoimmune problems. My biggest fear is that soon I will just get to drink bottled water... Actually I guess i will live. I gave up fruit earlier this week and my bloating went away and I actually started to lose a few pounds. Now he wants me to give up nuts as well. That actually made me sad. i given up bread, all grains, pizza, fruit, dates, peanut butter, real beer, and now nuts. I may go nuts. Will all of this "giving up" ever end? I should feel grateful that I can control almost all of the autoimmune issues with diet. i should feel grateful that at the ripe old age of 43 I can bike 50 miles and then run 8, and get up and work the next day. I should feel grateful for a lot of things, but right now I wonder if this is worth it.

Hey, it's Roxie. I felt sad when I read the message you posted. You just can't seem to get a break. I have also had a bad couple of days, and my husband came home tonight to find me crying in my detox bath. I don't care what anyone says - this diet we have to follow SUCKS!! However, we are going to have to find happiness through all of this - somehow! I have two words that I try to stick by when I am feeling down: confidence and faith! IT IS WORTH IT!! All of this will only make us stronger. I read a very inspiring verse in my journal one day: There is a deep peace that grows out of illness and loneliness and a sense of failure. God cannot get close when everything is delightful. He seems to need these darker hours, these empty-hearted hours to mean the most to people.

[MDRB]

I once read something on this forum that helped me, maybe it can help you too:

Learn to eat to live, rather than living to eat

I'm sorry you are having such a hard time. If it makes you feel better, I am only 23 and can barely run around the block without being exhausted. You are right, you do have a lot to be grateful for I hope you feel better soon.

[Guest hightop girl]

  Michelle RB said:

I once read something on this forum that helped me, maybe it can help you too:

Learn to eat to live, rather than living to eat

I'm sorry you are having such a hard time. If it makes you feel better, I am only 23 and can barely run around the block without being exhausted. You are right, you do have a lot to be grateful for I hope you feel better soon.

Here is a funny thing... I wrote that about learning to eat to live instead of living to eat. Then they took away my last snack. I had a very bingy day of all the last things they didn't want me to have... no gluten issues, just tortilla and sweet potato chips and nuts. Tomorrow i will try to remember that I don't have to be perfect, and that food is not happiness. right now i am trying to not equate eating and self control with dignity and competence