Kissing

[jackay]

I know my dh is not going to understand that I cannot kiss him because of CC. He is a big gluten eater and has a beard and mustache. He understands that I cannot eat gluten but thinks I am being unreasonable about CC. I know it is only safe to kiss him after he showers and brushes his teeth. How do I get him to understand?

Our intimacy has really suffered because I have felt like crap for so long. I am hoping to feel better soon so we can rebuild our relationship.

[Jestgar]

Eat something he can't stand and then kiss him. Maybe he'll figure out that things linger...

[YoloGx]

Its probably fine if he simply washes his hands, face and beard and brushes and flosses his teeth. Has been at least for me. Make sure he rinses and does not use lysterine or some other equivalent (due to the alcohol)!

[jackay]

Oh, things are oh so bad. My dh says I am constantly harping at him to be careful. He feels I am just putting him down and rejecting him. I feel so bad about the situation but don't know what to do. I don't think he'll ever kiss me again. Sure he baths and brushes and flosses his teeth. However, having that as a requirement before he kisses me is pushing us both over the edge.

I just hugged him and he asked me if I wasn't afraid that I was going to get contaminated.

If he could spend a day in my physical and mental pain, I think he'd understand. I don't wish that on anybody though. I don't think I'm ever get him to understand. I try talking to him about it and we both end up defensive. I am making lots of sacrifices, too, but he just doesn't see that.

We are not new at this marriage thing either. It has been over 25 years.

[Ahorsesoul]

Maybe he is using this celiac problem as an excuse.

This is a health issue so your other half should be supporting. Too bad it's not easy. It's certainly not easy for you either.

[ang1e0251]

If you can't get through to him, maybe a counseler or pastor could help. Sometimes it takes a third party to help some sticky situations.

[jackay]

Since everyone has a different degree of sensitivity, he just figures mine isn't extreme. I eliminated wheat from my diet this past summer. My doctor did not instruct me to be diligent about removing all traces of it. I didn't show any improvement. Now that I have learned to be very strict about it, I am showing some signs of getting better. I know it is a lon, long road. My dh expects instant improvement. I can't get him to read anything about it so he doesn't understand that it is going to take a long time for my body to heal.

[CarbQueen]

Thank you for addressing the issue of kissing SO.

I was glutened several times over the past two years. They didn't understand the risk to my health.

I'm dating after being officially diagnosed as gluten intolerant.

Now, that I have overcome the fear of being glutened by kissing, I am dreading the conversations about the risks of kissing someone who has digested gluten.

[SLB5757]

Its probably fine if he simply washes his hands, face and beard and brushes and flosses his teeth. Has been at least for me. Make sure he rinses and does not use lysterine or some other equivalent (due to the alcohol)!

Why not use Listerine? It is gluten free - right? I use Sensodyne ProNamel and Listerine daily. If these contain gluten then that is why I am still having so many issues! I thought I googled these and learned that they were fine though. Hmmmm.

[YoloGx]

Why not use Listerine? It is gluten free - right? I use Sensodyne ProNamel and Listerine daily. If these contain gluten then that is why I am still having so many issues! I thought I googled these and learned that they were fine though. Hmmmm.

I don't trust anything with alcohol in it, esp. when I can't find out what kind of alcohol they use. Its claimed to be gluten-free but is it?? It may be that the alcohol is safe for some but I for one can't even tolerate kissing someone who has drunk so called safe distilled whiskey.

[CarbQueen]

I kissed my BF after he had whiskey...I suffered the consequences. What a way to find out I couldn't tolerate his brand of whiskey.

I stick to items labeled gluten free.

I think for alcohol to be safe it has to be distilled a few times.

[YoloGx]

I kissed my BF after he had whiskey...I suffered the consequences. What a way to find out I couldn't tolerate his brand of whiskey.

I stick to items labeled gluten free.

I think for alcohol to be safe it has to be distilled a few times.

Did you find a brand you could tolerate?

Its actually a big reason why I stopped seeing an ex boyfriend. He wouldn't change and I couldn't deal with it. I actually got very sick.

Bea

[jackay]

We've been married over 30 years and have been through a lot of good times and a lot of tough times. My dh just seems me as being paranoid about this and I think he feels rejected. I still don't know how we are going to handle this. I don't want my marriage to break up but I do want to start feeling better.

I guess I will just have to say go gluten free or no intimacy. I haven't said that yet because I knew it is going to not go over well. I can tell you right now the intimacy will go before the gluten.

My dh will not talk to anyone else about this either. He feels he is right and that is that.

[YoloGx]

We've been married over 30 years and have been through a lot of good times and a lot of tough times. My dh just seems me as being paranoid about this and I think he feels rejected. I still don't know how we are going to handle this. I don't want my marriage to break up but I do want to start feeling better.

I guess I will just have to say go gluten free or no intimacy. I haven't said that yet because I knew it is going to not go over well. I can tell you right now the intimacy will go before the gluten.

My dh will not talk to anyone else about this either. He feels he is right and that is that.

I do hope you stick to your guns.

Its hard to believe gluten could be such a big deal,eh?!

However just want to let you know that there are brands of alcohol out there that are gluten-free if that helps. There is a list on this site.

You could also start making scrumptious gluten-free meals for you both, just don't make a big deal of it. If he wants to eat elsewhere he can, but this is what you make...

This of course will work better if you aren't allergic to everything else too (like me)!!

If he won't get counseling, maybe you should? It might be symbolic of other issues... Thing is not to get too confrontational while still sticking up for yourself and making sure you don't get sick.

Maybe start a local gluten-free support group so you won't feel so alone??

Bea

[CarbQueen]

I left my last boyfriend because I became extremely ill after kissing him a few times. My bacterial count reached 19 out or 21. Took me 1 month to bring it to 3 out of 21. Last count was 1 out of 21.

He claimed he was clean, but even a trace amount will cause a flare in my body. I have multiple allergies. My reaction to each allergen is different, but I can tell them apart. Gluten intolerance is just recent. Alcohol intolerance started in the 80s.

I can tolerate Smirrnoff Vodka and Crown Royal, Okanagan Premium Dry Classic Apple Cider, any tequila, gin, and rum. The local liquor store just started a gluten free section.

I talk to all the local business owners about my gluten intolerance and other sensitivities, for my benefit as well as that of the many who have yet to be diagnosed. They are making efforts to provide me with gluten free items. I was glutened yesterday although the owner, a dear friend, of my favorite restaurant was careful. I'm still recuperating.

I prefer to make items from scratch. I'm going to be 51 years soon, and less resilient, so I can't afford to be glutened, both physically and emotionally. Alas, brain fog, I hope I am making sense.

[inmygenes]

That can be a difficult issue and perhaps the best way is to educate him in detail about how gluten effects you. If he just rinsed his mouth and beard and moustache that would probably be okay. My husband is careful now I have to ask that he washes his mouth and rinses before he kisses me.

It's all about education, I think people often don't understand.

[CarbQueen]

I have to educate my new boyfriend. Hopefully, he will be cautious. You are right some people can't or won't understand or take me serious.

I try to tell them that it is like a severe case of indigestion that can be non stop for days at a time. They can understand that an antiacid will not fix this. I use to hide my symptoms, but now I let everyone see how I am suffering including my dates.

I definitely do not want to spend the rest of my life single. My mood swings are leading to negative thinking right now. The crying jags are relentless.

[SLB5757]

I have to educate my new boyfriend. Hopefully, he will be cautious. You are right some people can't or won't understand or take me serious.

I try to tell them that it is like a severe case of indigestion that can be non stop for days at a time. They can understand that an antiacid will not fix this. I use to hide my symptoms, but now I let everyone see how I am suffering including my dates.

I definitely do not want to spend the rest of my life single. My mood swings are leading to negative thinking right now. The crying jags are relentless.

I am also in a newer relationship. Started dating in July of this year. My boyfriend is super supportive of whatever diet I try to do to make me feel better. He has been the one up with me on nights at 2 AM when I swore to him I was dieing because pain was so severe. He would do anything if it meant I wouldn't have to have even a minute of pain, so asking your bf to be cautious of what he is drinking around you, or asking him to brush teeth and rinse super well would not be out of line here. If he is worth having around, I promise you there is no length he wouldn't go to to make things easier for you. There are great guys out there, so just take everyones advice and have him rinse well...etc.

I started to push my boyfriend away a few months ago because I figured if he really knew how bad my tummy got he wouldn't wanna have to deal with the dietary restrictions and pain episodes so I better let him go then. He assured me he wouldn't be going anywhere, and if it were my struggle then he would struggle with me. It's great to have that support and I promise you that you can also have that. Do not get down. You have to be your biggest supporter, and if you tell yourself positive things then positive results will follow. Fretting over how a boyfriend will react will only make your digestive/pains worse...so try to talk things through with him and always have open communication about how you both feel regarding your food challenges.

Good luck!!

[CarbQueen]

Thank you for the support.

This is is about my 9th relationship, and I am trying to put the prior experiences behind me so that I can give this man a chance. My last partner left me 4 months ago and it took him that long to realize how much he hurt me. He contacted me Saturday to talk about our last relationship, and possibly get back together again.

I gave him two years, but the stress was just to much for us. He started seeing someone else before ending our relationship. I picked myself up and started over again. Each time I start a new relationship I hope it will stand the test of time. Most of my friends don't understand the nature of my condition and think I am being a drama queen and impatient with my partners.

I think it takes a very special, loving, compassionate man to accept me as I am. Right now I am just trying to stay focused on my positive qualities, and stop seeing myself as a burden.

[Salax]

Why not use Listerine? It is gluten free - right? I use Sensodyne ProNamel and Listerine daily. If these contain gluten then that is why I am still having so many issues! I thought I googled these and learned that they were fine though. Hmmmm.

I thought I read somewhere Sensodyne wasn't Gluten Free......

Sensodyne "Thank you for contacting us regarding Sensodyne

[jackay]

Yolo, I am going to stick to my guns.

My dh will only take this seriously if I test positive for Celiac. I was tested after I eliminated gluten so it was negative. I may just have to fib and say I tested positive. I did have a positive saliva test for gliadin Ab of >100. The range for positive was anything >15. That should speak for itself.

I try stressing to him that gluten contamination can be just as dangerous even if I do not have Celiac. I have three books about gluten intolerance. There is also endless information on the internet. I asked him if he has done any research on gluten or if he'd be willing to do any. He responded "Not at this point." That pretty much says it all. He is staying ignorant so I am staying away. Not the best grounds for a marriage but than what is a marriage if it puts one health is at stake?

I am going to get out the books and mark pages for him to read. I'm guessing he'll still refuse but at least I am doing my part to educate him.

I am hoping when I get healthy that it will be proof in itself. I feel at the present time that I am making baby steps in healing. From what I am experiencing, when something sets my system off, whether it is gluten or some other sensitivity, I suffer close to 48 hours with insomnia and anxiety. After that time, I can just feel my body and mind returning to normal.

If he doesn't come around, will I stay around? That is the question!

[CarbQueen]

Yolo, I am going to stick to my guns.

My dh will only take this seriously if I test positive for Celiac. I was tested after I eliminated gluten so it was negative. I may just have to fib and say I tested positive. I did have a positive saliva test for gliadin Ab of >100. The range for positive was anything >15. That should speak for itself.

I try stressing to him that gluten contamination can be just as dangerous even if I do not have Celiac. I have three books about gluten intolerance. There is also endless information on the internet. I asked him if he has done any research on gluten or if he'd be willing to do any. He responded "Not at this point." That pretty much says it all. He is staying ignorant so I am staying away. Not the best grounds for a marriage but than what is a marriage if it puts one health is at stake?

I am going to get out the books and mark pages for him to read. I'm guessing he'll still refuse but at least I am doing my part to educate him.

I am hoping when I get healthy that it will be proof in itself. I feel at the present time that I am making baby steps in healing. From what I am experiencing, when something sets my system off, whether it is gluten or some other sensitivity, I suffer close to 48 hours with insomnia and anxiety. After that time, I can just feel my body and mind returning to normal.

If he doesn't come around, will I stay around? That is the question!

Gluten Intolerance is a painful condition. Each time I am glutened my immune system is compromised. When I caught the flu, my reaction was the worst by far. I could not get out of bed for 2 hours because there was no one around to help me. I used the wall for support for a whole week to navigate my way around the house.

Every muscle in body felt sore and throbbed. I actually wished I would die. My joints burned and were tender to the touch. It took me 4 months of recovery.

My family,especially my children are now convinced I have a serious illness. Now, they ask about my diet, and changed their diet in the hopes of avoiding the same problems.

Hopefully your SO has that ahah moment, and start to be more supportive.

Yes, we have to count our blessings when we have a speedy recovery from being glutened.

Blessings for a healthy relationship.

[YoloGx]

Yolo, I am going to stick to my guns.

My dh will only take this seriously if I test positive for Celiac. I was tested after I eliminated gluten so it was negative. I may just have to fib and say I tested positive. I did have a positive saliva test for gliadin Ab of >100. The range for positive was anything >15. That should speak for itself.

I try stressing to him that gluten contamination can be just as dangerous even if I do not have Celiac. I have three books about gluten intolerance. There is also endless information on the internet. I asked him if he has done any research on gluten or if he'd be willing to do any. He responded "Not at this point." That pretty much says it all. He is staying ignorant so I am staying away. Not the best grounds for a marriage but than what is a marriage if it puts one health is at stake?

I am going to get out the books and mark pages for him to read. I'm guessing he'll still refuse but at least I am doing my part to educate him.

I am hoping when I get healthy that it will be proof in itself. I feel at the present time that I am making baby steps in healing. From what I am experiencing, when something sets my system off, whether it is gluten or some other sensitivity, I suffer close to 48 hours with insomnia and anxiety. After that time, I can just feel my body and mind returning to normal.

If he doesn't come around, will I stay around? That is the question!

I have reacted similarly with the insomnia and anxiety--as well as D. I also easily get ill with a bacterial infection or flu if CC'd. Whereas otherwise I now am much more resistant than I used to be.

Hope you are avoiding sugar and processed foods. I found by going onto whole foods, reducing even the amount of grains and instead have more squash and roots (minus potatoes and sweet potatoes) I got better faster.

I also make my own 24 hour home made yogurt. Most yogurt is only fermented 6 to 7 hours. By fermenting it 24 hours all the lactose is removed--important for me since I am lactose intolerant. Also find now I can have aged organic cheddar cheese occasionally--but could not until recently without having it make me feel really weird.

I have many other food sensitivities, like all nuts for instance and vinegar plus an intolerance to most sugar due to a tendency to get candida overgrowth all too easily.

I think this problem is heightened for those who are more sensitive. It in turn makes it so your significant other also needs to be a more sensitive and nurturing type than the norm. Sometimes unfortunate and hard to get but true.

The positive thing is as your health improves life starts getting to be a lot better and easier. You still have to tread the straight and narrow, but after a while one almost forgets about the celiac (except for those habits one has to acquire).

I told a new boyfriend its kind of like being in an alternate reality. It makes one feel kind of neurotic, but its a necessary neurotic. After a while it becomes normal but then with a new boyfriend one starts to feel a bit like a weirdo again. However I say in the final analysis it is just food etc. If someone who wants to be close to you can't handle it, then that is too bad. Its a lot easier to deal with than cancer, diabetes and a whole lot of other things people get. And really once you get it all figured out, its likely you will be a lot healthier than most people. That at least is my experience and that of others I have observed.

Fortunately more and more now is being learned and accepted about this condition. Used to be that people like us were really considered hypochondriacs because no one really knew why we had the problems that we did.

Meanwhile I think your idea of showing him some books with the pages marked out is a good idea. Bottom line, he's either motivated to be your partner at least in as much you need to be safe or he's not.

Bea

[notkuroda]

Hi all, new around here, thought I would give the other perspective.

My wife was diagnosed about a year ago. She is also hypothyroid and has neurocardiogenic syncopy(fainting spells). The time leading up to her diagnosis was a very painful one. She had no energy, and frequently broke out in painful rashes(dh). The gluten free diet has helped her a lot, but she still gets contaminated. Our whole family has gone gluten free(I have two daughters from my previous marriage that is with us on weekends and vacations). We just don't want to take the risk of anything getting in her system. We don't eat out anymore and rarely eat as guests of friends and family.I still drink beer, but understand I definitely can't kiss her when I do, usually not until the next day and some vigarous cleaning. Her contamination cycle is heartbreaking. When she gets it, she breaks out in dh. Then she has about a week where her energy is completely sapped, and she gets depressed. Our nutritionist confirmed that when she's contaminated, she can't absorb her thyroid medicine, so she has no metabolism. Every time the dh comes back, we know we're in for a rough week.

It took me awhile to figure out the lifestyle changes that we would both have to make in order for her to get healthy. She's about to turn 40, and she's had this all her life. Her doctor told her it would take a couple of years to repair all of the damage that's been done to her system. It's difficult for me, although not nearly as difficult as it is for her. I think people need to come to the realization that this is not an allergy, or a digestive problem. This is a DISEASE, like cancer. It needs to be treated with the same kind of vigilance. It's tough, sometimes I wonder if I have the strength to deal with it the rest of my life. But she's the best thing to ever happen to me, so we keep pushing onSo please, cut your SO's a little slack. Explain what you're going through in no uncertain terms, and let them know that this is a lifestyle change. I don't know that everyone needs to live in a gluten free household, but I know that I would do everything in my power to help make sure she never gets contaminated again. But when she does, I summon all the strength that I have to help her get through it.

Hope you don't mind if I post this in the "families" section as well.

[CarbQueen]

Hi all, new around here, thought I would give the other perspective.

My wife was diagnosed about a year ago. She is also hypothyroid and has neurocardiogenic syncopy(fainting spells). The time leading up to her diagnosis was a very painful one. She had no energy, and frequently broke out in painful rashes(dh). The gluten free diet has helped her a lot, but she still gets contaminated. Our whole family has gone gluten free(I have two daughters from my previous marriage that is with us on weekends and vacations). We just don't want to take the risk of anything getting in her system. We don't eat out anymore and rarely eat as guests of friends and family.I still drink beer, but understand I definitely can't kiss her when I do, usually not until the next day and some vigarous cleaning. Her contamination cycle is heartbreaking. When she gets it, she breaks out in dh. Then she has about a week where her energy is completely sapped, and she gets depressed. Our nutritionist confirmed that when she's contaminated, she can't absorb her thyroid medicine, so she has no metabolism. Every time the dh comes back, we know we're in for a rough week.

It took me awhile to figure out the lifestyle changes that we would both have to make in order for her to get healthy. She's about to turn 40, and she's had this all her life. Her doctor told her it would take a couple of years to repair all of the damage that's been done to her system. It's difficult for me, although not nearly as difficult as it is for her. I think people need to come to the realization that this is not an allergy, or a digestive problem. This is a DISEASE, like cancer. It needs to be treated with the same kind of vigilance. It's tough, sometimes I wonder if I have the strength to deal with it the rest of my life. But she's the best thing to ever happen to me, so we keep pushing onSo please, cut your SO's a little slack. Explain what you're going through in no uncertain terms, and let them know that this is a lifestyle change. I don't know that everyone needs to live in a gluten free household, but I know that I would do everything in my power to help make sure she never gets contaminated again. But when she does, I summon all the strength that I have to help her get through it.

Hope you don't mind if I post this in the "families" section as well.

Wonderful

You sure lifted my spirit, with your thoughtful point of view - the SO.

I'm on the 3rd day of recovery from accidental glutening. My spirits are lifting, and I think I can venture outdoors again. The fear of being accidentally glutened can be debilitating even if my loved ones are doing their best to keep my environment clean.

Trying to balance my diet to ensure the synthroid circulates through my body is a challenge. First thing in the morning is the optimum time to take the pill, and then wait 1 to 2 hours before ingesting anything else. If your wife is consuming soy then she should wait at least 2 hours before ingesting soy liquids or caplets.

Many medications/herbal products interfere with absorption or synthroid.

My fainting spells subsided and circulation improved once I changed the way I utilized the synthroid.

Sometimes, my children feel like I don't appreciate the efforts they make to help me, especially when I behave like a bat out of hell after being glutened. Its the DISEASE.

We take some time out for day to pamper each other and chat in a friendly, pleasant environment. During that time I focus on them and let them know how much I LOVE, and APPRECIATE, everything they give me - patience, time and love.